How Do You Increase Your Chances Of Getting Approached By A Man Irl

[Rocky91]

Join a co-Ed intramural sports league.
FH does the stats for a football one as his side hustle and took me this Sunday and the sexual tension was high between the players the flirting was real. A whole bunch of good-looking late-20s/early 30s black folks.

And you don't have to be super athletic, most of the women were dropping a lot of their passes. No one cared too much

 

[LostInAdream]

I think it's a combo of things.

-Looking your best because you feel good when you look good. This pertains to the body, hair, skin and clothes.
-Cofidence. Positive self talk and believing you are the best version of yourself.
-Eye contact. Head up and look directly at their souls with a sexy smile or blushing of course.

Men love confidence! There's nothing more attractive than being comfortable in your skin. Get out your head and in tune with your body.

 

[hunnychile]

I think it's a combo of things.

-Looking your best because you feel good when you look good. This pertains to the body, hair, skin and clothes.
-Cofidence. Positive self talk and believing you are the best version of yourself.
-Eye contact. Head up and look directly at their souls with a sexy smile or blushing of course.

Men love confidence! There's nothing more attractive than being comfortable in your skin. Get out your head and in tune with your body.

I would say this is absolutely key. And men can't explain it, but they know it when they see it. That energy quite literally attracts people to you.

If anyone here has issues with confidence or wants to feel confident meeting men or in any other high stakes event (job interview, meeting new people, etc), engage in a confidence boosting activity beforehand such as lunch with a good friend, practicing at a hobby or skill you are good at, etc.

If you can't do that, pop in a performance meditation podcast and commit to faking it until you make it! I guarantee you that there is nothing confident people have that you don't other than the willingness to simply do it. Do it until you feel it and when you feel it you will become it.

 

[GraceJones]

Man, I went to the places in Harlem that the previous poster suggested. Nobody approached. Drat. lol

 

[**SaSSy**]

Man, I went to the places in Harlem that the previous poster suggested. Nobody approached. Drat. lol

were the guys on their phone the whole time? That seems to be the trend, just standing around on your phone texting/picture taking.

 

[missyanne]

I have a resting bytch face, not sure how to change that.

 

[hunnychile]

I have a resting bytch face, not sure how to change that.

You have to make a conscious effort to smile or at least look pleasant. Thinking nice thoughts help. People are naturally attracted to warmth and good, positive energy. I keep a note on my phone of instances that made me laugh from my belly, or compliments I've received that really touched me, or moments with friends where I've had so much fun. I like to read over them when I need a quick shift in energy.

What I really like about this is you can do it for any emotion: times you felt confident, times you felt sexy, times you felt feminine....so you can quickly tap into the emotional state that made you feel that way in the first place. I promise, you will be positively vibrating.

 

[hunnychile]

CoilyFields' Directions for "Invitational Eye Contact":

1. If they're not looking at you, keep looking at them (occasionally, not a stalker stare lol) until they look at you
2. When your eyes meet look in his eyes for 2-3 seconds (full seconds)-"You're Attractive, I'm single" (what your eyes are saying)
3. Then look down (and maybe to the side ) with a the beginnings of a slight smile for 1 second-"But I'm shy"
4. Then look back up at him with a little more smile for no more than 2 seconds-"You should come talk to me"
5. Then look away and distract yourself -"Your move"

I accompany this with a flirty head tilt and turn so that I'm not facing him directly, almost a side-eye
Each eye movement is lead with a lazy blink. So you're not fluttering your lashes but using your eyes to shield and reveal

If he's available and interested he will surely come

SideNote: This is also how DL guys connect, long (3 seconds) looks in other men's eyes. Cause a straight man will not hold eye contact with another man across the room for anything more than a half second accompanied by a head nod.

This is what I do.

Eye contact can hold so much power that it can be intimidating. I recommend practicing this on people you aren't interested in, just to get used to the nerves you'll experience. Older gentleman tend to be friendly and respectful. I also recommend making eye contact with women as well (maybe not according to the steps above), but just getting over the knee-jerk reaction averting your eyes so quickly when someone meets them. And if they look at you a bit weird, just give them a smile (not those tight lipped, "we made eye contact" half-smiles) or compliment them on something (they will register this as the reason for why you were staring). This will also increase your confidence with/around women which, while is not your primary focus, will come in handy in situations where other women might throw your confidence a little. It's good to have a way with everyone, not just the men because that social grace and ease will be attractive to them.

 

[Desert Skye]

Dressing and behaving feminine. Think lace and dresses. It will make you stand out among most women who are wearing jeans and shirts. Men just cannot resist feminine women.

Back in my heyday there was a site called Rules Revisited and I took some of the advice the author used there to maximize my feminine looks. I still use some of the stuff I learned from there with my husband just to keep his interest. But this still has men coming up to me in public when I am alone despite me being married.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

OP, I'm glad you are putting yourself out there and asking for help.

I don't want to discourage anyone, but I like to be realistic. When I talk to my friends and family, it's getting harder and harder for anyone to know a decent single young man. Single young ladies abound, but the guys are just.....not.

Even my own son doesn't stay single for long. When he broke up with his high school sweetheart, another girl swooped right on in and snatched him.

It's tough, but not impossible. You have been given some great advice in here. I wish you all the best!

I'm not putting that energy into the universe. Looking at dating as being "tough" and "more difficult than in the past" will bring more tough and difficult dating situations in one's life. Situations are only as difficult as they're perceived. Ive met many black men recently that are good looking, single, and are good men looking for love.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

I have a resting bytch face, not sure how to change that.

Chew gum. A friend of mine said this works for her.