thatscuteright
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How Birth Order Determines Your Romantic Compatibility
partner
* by Erin Meanley, Single-ish, Glamour Magazine, on Fri May 14, 2010 1:39pm PDT
Ever notice how, if you’re the baby of the family, you frequently date firstborns, and vice versa? Even my mom is a lastborn and my dad is a firstborn.
See, one thing that determines your personality is the order in which you were born, in relation to your siblings (or lack thereof), and the role you played in your family.
This article on DrSpock.com breaks down the roles pretty well:
The oldest child: the leader, a good citizen, responsible, responsive to parents’ expectations, well-organized, precise, and prone to perfectionism.
The youngest child: takes on the baby role, easygoing, spontaneous, used to being noticed and fussed over, charming, and manipulative.
The middle child: has less of a clear-cut role in the family; instead, she often makes a place for herself outside the family, creating a network of close friends, venturing away from the family physically, and breaking the mold intellectually as well.
The only child: often has characteristics both of first children (capable, perfectionistic) and of youngest children (attention-seeking, self-centered).
So who should we date? I called William Cane, author of The Birth Order Book of Love: How the #1 Personality Predictor Can Help You Find The One, to find out if it was true about firstborns dating lastborns, and if there was more to it.
He stressed that any two people can be compatible. “But birth order can tell you what a person’s personality will be like,” he said, “so you know what you’re getting into before you get into that relationship. Birth order is not a perfect predictor of personality, but it’s the best predictor that we have—better than gender, race, socioeconomic background, etc.”
So essentially, we want to replicate what our roles were, growing up at home? “Yes,” Cane said, “Dr. Walter Toman’s Duplication Theorem states that you will be happiest in your marriage with the same type of person you grew up with.”
Related: 15 Love Rules for Single Women
Cane explained our best matches like this:
Female oldest child: The firstborn girl will usually have a leadership streak, so she’ll be happy with a lastborn. (That’s based on the pop-psychology view that opposites attract, he notes, although the research behind that isn’t conclusive.) A firstborn girl with younger brothers will be happiest with a lastborn guy with older sisters.
Female middle child: She is more adaptable than first or last. The middle child grew up with both older and younger, and can relate to all. She has the most potential for making a good match with anyone. And yes, middleborns are often neglected—statistically, they receive 12 percent less attention from their parents than their siblings. But the gender of her siblings is important. Britney Spears has an older brother and a younger sister. The important thing for her is her opposite sex sibling. She would be best with an older brother who has a younger sister or two younger sisters.
Female youngest child: The lastborn can be happiest with the firstborn, especially if she has an older brother, and she’ll be happier with a firstborn with a younger sister.
Female only child: If she’s going out with a firstborn, she’ll be used to an older authority figure because she grew up with her parents. She will understand the firstborn male, especially if he has younger sisters.
A twin: Your parents MAY call you a firstborn, but it’s a negligible effect. The best match for a twin is another twin or someone with a sibling very close in age.
Related: Three Sexy Things to Say to Your Boyfriend in Bed
Other factors to consider:
The number of siblings
Cane says that the more siblings you have, the more you become that personality; you are, for example, a super firstborn. Steven Spielberg has 3 younger sisters, so he’s used to giving orders—naturally, he’s a film director! And what went wrong with the marriage of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey? They were both firstborns. “Two firstborns often argue about who will be in charge. He had 8 younger siblings, so he would be a dictator.”
The age gap between siblings
The closer in age, the more influence they have on each other. If there’s a huge gap like 25 years, the influence is diminished—you would be a functional only child. I told Cane my sister was just 14 months older. “You’re lucky that your sister was close in age,” said Cane. “That really gives you the lastborn characteristics, which are very positive—affable, creative, you’re good with people, and you have multiple interests.” (Whoo-hoo!)
The gender of your siblings
Cane says that gender is relevant but to a lesser degree. That’s good, because I have no brothers. “A girl like you would be happiest with a firstborn boy, especially someone with younger sisters—they’re used to girls and can often be romantic. A firstborn with younger brothers is used to leading, which is good for you, but think of Mick Jagger, Hugh Hefner, and Bill Clinton. These types of guys have leadership ability but don’t understand women as much. They might treat a girl like a little brother, and they look for beauty as a primary characteristic—look at Hugh Hefner. His women have to be beautiful. But birth order position is most important. You should be happy with a firstborn. You’ll be even happier if he has a younger sister.”
partner
* by Erin Meanley, Single-ish, Glamour Magazine, on Fri May 14, 2010 1:39pm PDT
Ever notice how, if you’re the baby of the family, you frequently date firstborns, and vice versa? Even my mom is a lastborn and my dad is a firstborn.
See, one thing that determines your personality is the order in which you were born, in relation to your siblings (or lack thereof), and the role you played in your family.
This article on DrSpock.com breaks down the roles pretty well:
The oldest child: the leader, a good citizen, responsible, responsive to parents’ expectations, well-organized, precise, and prone to perfectionism.
The youngest child: takes on the baby role, easygoing, spontaneous, used to being noticed and fussed over, charming, and manipulative.
The middle child: has less of a clear-cut role in the family; instead, she often makes a place for herself outside the family, creating a network of close friends, venturing away from the family physically, and breaking the mold intellectually as well.
The only child: often has characteristics both of first children (capable, perfectionistic) and of youngest children (attention-seeking, self-centered).
So who should we date? I called William Cane, author of The Birth Order Book of Love: How the #1 Personality Predictor Can Help You Find The One, to find out if it was true about firstborns dating lastborns, and if there was more to it.
He stressed that any two people can be compatible. “But birth order can tell you what a person’s personality will be like,” he said, “so you know what you’re getting into before you get into that relationship. Birth order is not a perfect predictor of personality, but it’s the best predictor that we have—better than gender, race, socioeconomic background, etc.”
So essentially, we want to replicate what our roles were, growing up at home? “Yes,” Cane said, “Dr. Walter Toman’s Duplication Theorem states that you will be happiest in your marriage with the same type of person you grew up with.”
Related: 15 Love Rules for Single Women
Cane explained our best matches like this:
Female oldest child: The firstborn girl will usually have a leadership streak, so she’ll be happy with a lastborn. (That’s based on the pop-psychology view that opposites attract, he notes, although the research behind that isn’t conclusive.) A firstborn girl with younger brothers will be happiest with a lastborn guy with older sisters.
Female middle child: She is more adaptable than first or last. The middle child grew up with both older and younger, and can relate to all. She has the most potential for making a good match with anyone. And yes, middleborns are often neglected—statistically, they receive 12 percent less attention from their parents than their siblings. But the gender of her siblings is important. Britney Spears has an older brother and a younger sister. The important thing for her is her opposite sex sibling. She would be best with an older brother who has a younger sister or two younger sisters.
Female youngest child: The lastborn can be happiest with the firstborn, especially if she has an older brother, and she’ll be happier with a firstborn with a younger sister.
Female only child: If she’s going out with a firstborn, she’ll be used to an older authority figure because she grew up with her parents. She will understand the firstborn male, especially if he has younger sisters.
A twin: Your parents MAY call you a firstborn, but it’s a negligible effect. The best match for a twin is another twin or someone with a sibling very close in age.
Related: Three Sexy Things to Say to Your Boyfriend in Bed
Other factors to consider:
The number of siblings
Cane says that the more siblings you have, the more you become that personality; you are, for example, a super firstborn. Steven Spielberg has 3 younger sisters, so he’s used to giving orders—naturally, he’s a film director! And what went wrong with the marriage of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey? They were both firstborns. “Two firstborns often argue about who will be in charge. He had 8 younger siblings, so he would be a dictator.”
The age gap between siblings
The closer in age, the more influence they have on each other. If there’s a huge gap like 25 years, the influence is diminished—you would be a functional only child. I told Cane my sister was just 14 months older. “You’re lucky that your sister was close in age,” said Cane. “That really gives you the lastborn characteristics, which are very positive—affable, creative, you’re good with people, and you have multiple interests.” (Whoo-hoo!)
The gender of your siblings
Cane says that gender is relevant but to a lesser degree. That’s good, because I have no brothers. “A girl like you would be happiest with a firstborn boy, especially someone with younger sisters—they’re used to girls and can often be romantic. A firstborn with younger brothers is used to leading, which is good for you, but think of Mick Jagger, Hugh Hefner, and Bill Clinton. These types of guys have leadership ability but don’t understand women as much. They might treat a girl like a little brother, and they look for beauty as a primary characteristic—look at Hugh Hefner. His women have to be beautiful. But birth order position is most important. You should be happy with a firstborn. You’ll be even happier if he has a younger sister.”
The past 4 guys I've dated have been: only child, 2nd of 6 so middle I guess, (2nd of 3 in his house, then his father remarried and had more), youngest of 2, and oldest of 2. :scratchch
