He's cheated on her 8 times in the past 2 months. She stays.

[prettypuff1]

But when does enough become enough?

I've been talking to her for the last 4 years about this. I don't have it in me anymore to deal with this or watch her do this to herself.

See that is the thing. My friend just needed a push to make the right decision. She was having some thoughts that it was a poor choice to marry dude and I confrmed it... Well myself and about 9 other friends and 8 strangers at her bachelorette party who said you will regret this...

I read the exchange you and your friend had and If i were you, i would stop. She isnt getting it and really she may need to go ahead and realize the problems 10 years and 2 kids later. She better hope she gets out before she gets something she can't get rid of

 

[Ms Red]

What Sly said... I would distance myself from her but before I did, I would tell her why.
That is comparable to him cheating on her once a week for the last [insert arbitrary number] years. No sir.

She needs self-esteem and you cannot provide that.

 

[glam-]

But when does enough become enough?

I've been talking to her for the last 4 years about this. I don't have it in me anymore to deal with this or watch her do this to herself.

I think enough is already enough. You have done everything you could. She's just delusional now. She has to start thinking clearly before she can really be a friend, right now she's lashing out at you for "lecturing" her. I would just let it go. If you guys talk sporadically- fine, but you can't let her drag your emotions into this mess. At this point you care more about her than she does about herself.

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

This was my friend...
Her man was cheating on her something terrible, bringing home disease, not working and all this other trash... and she was gonna marry this fool... I spent the better part of 5 years talking her out of the marriage


In hind sight, I would do it again. I would want someone to talk me out of making the worst decision of her life. It was tough but it did it.

Just make sure u dont spend any money on a bridesmaid dress and wedding shower/bachelorette party. I got a $150 bridesmaid dress if anybody wants it


ETA- I was prepared to make a scene at the wedding... Standing up during that portion of the ceremony and naming dates and reasons why, and i had two other people prepared to do the same thing... Whats the worst that can happen, she will stop talking to you... Once she is married you can't do anything else for her anyways. After reading the exchange she had with you, that may be the only thing to scare her. She is gonna regret it if she marries this dude..


I will say it again," low self-esteem will get you everytime"

Lord.... So - I will presume that your best friend has a big fat ZERO on the self esteem meter......

How tragic. Hopfully she will hit the brick wall before more tragedy takes place....Death, AIDS, STD's, more abortions, or his death.... and her in prison. There really is nothing you can do for her.

why would she even think of being with this loser???

You will have to risk your friendship.

"Enemy mulitplies kisses, but wounds from a freind can be trusted."

You need to tell her to dump him. If she says "yea, But" - then hang up, and say your goodbyes in your heart to your freind.

She lacks self-esteem, which is weird to me because she's SO beautiful and could easily model ANYDAY. Any of my guy friends that meet her are always interested in getting to know her and dating her.

I know self-esteem is based on more than looks, but its just so puzzling to me.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

This is why I don't like to hear my friends' problems at times. I take them on as my own and then it consumes me.
.

Sigh...that would consume anybody. You obviously are a loyal friend but she is a toxic friend. I'd take her to campus counseling, seriously. She needs to hear from a professional third party. Maybe they can talk sense into her and if not, after that, I'd cut the friendship. Toxic relationships will kill you. It's co-dependency and depression on her part and she may even need medication.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

She doesn't believe that she deserves better...

 

[prettypuff1]

She lacks self-esteem, which is weird to me because she's SO beautiful and could easily model ANYDAY. Any of my guy friends that meet her are always interested in getting to know her and dating her.

I know self-esteem is based on more than looks, but its just so puzzling to me.

My friend is like this also.. she is really pretty, super smart, has two degrees, good credit, good job, no kids, nice family.. I just dont get it at all.. All the people i introduce her too are like WTF was she doing with that loser.

But that low self esteem coupled with deep abandonment issues is what is getting to her.

 

[Cincysweetie]

I am literally in almost the exact same situation right now, minus a few details. I contemplated posting my situation, but you've done it for me. Plus, I have come to the conclusion that I just can't get involved in it. When my *pregnant* friend found out her fiance cheated, I showed up at her place to find her on the floor sobbing uncontrollably, the house a mess, and her refusing all nourishment for her baby. I got down on the floor with her and cried with her b/c I was so hurt for her. I held her while she snotted up my shirt. I held the cup to her lips to force her to drink. And I gave up my bed so that she could have a place to sleep. At the end of the day I was physically and emotionally drained, and nearly as upset as she was. He is still lying yet she's pretty much taken him back. I did what a good friend does, that I don't regret because I love my friend like a sister. But I do wish I hadn't gotten so emotionally attached to the situation b/c it's like she's cool but I'm still upset about it and it's not even my relationship! I just hate to see people doing my friends wrong. The way I feel now, I don't wanna hear nothin about him cheating again in the future (which he probably will). I feel that in some ways she's set the precedent for their relationship, said that this behavior is okay...so there is no need to complain about it in the future. YOU said it was okay.

 

[Nayna]

Trust me when I say she is NOT going to listen. U are going to talk till your face turns BLUE she is NOT going to listen. I've had this SAME exact scenario with one of my best friends. Where is she now? A mother to his child and still dealing with his foolishness. Some people just dont get it, or they do but they choose to ignore the obvious signs thinking they can change this man if they somehow do this or somehow do that. In the initial 3 damn months the signs were clear, she ignored them.

Shes young at 22 however ur friend is still not a child. I chose to fall back I dont give advice, I may or may not lend an ear and when i say lend an ear I mean the phone is to my ear but I'm probably cruising LHCF. Now to this day she says I shouldve listened I say if we could do it all over again u would probably still do it. Dont stress yourself out she will have to learn on her own.

 

[TriniStarr]

Stopping taking on her problems. Worry about YOU and YOU only. Whenever she calls with dis sh%6....tell her ur busy and get off the FAST. She like that MESS she is in.