Help Me!

[tru4reele]

Okay ladies so I was planning to get married next year in March. I have ordered my dress which I have posted but I have not found a venue.

The issue is that we are also getting our first home in the process. We close on it next month and it has tied up a lot of our funds and we also have to furnish it from scratch.

My finance wants to marry now and have a reception later. But I want my wedding. Not crazy about all the bridesmaids (I had 7). But I want to walk down the aisle with my beautiful gown.

Is there a way I can have something soon where everyone sees my dress? My dad is a pastor. Should I have him marry us and I wear my dress at the reception later? I really want beautiful pictures with my dress on. My fiancé will not tell me no when it comes to the wedding but I know it will put strain on our finances. What are some suggestions?

 

[LucieLoo12]

What about something outside? Are there any beautiful parks around where you are? It will minimize your need for decorations and venue costs. Then you can do a small intimate reception with just close friends and family.

But I never recommend holding back to get married just for a wedding. You can do a wedding celebration anytime. I had a friend that didn't have the extra money for a big wedding, so her and her DH went to the courthouse and had a big wedding the following year and it was nice.

And I just got married 3-1-14 and now that I look back, I wish I would have just saved the money and went to the justice of the peace.


@tru4reele

 

[tru4reele]

LucieLoo12 thanks. That's a good suggestion. I want to have a small reception but my fiancé has a large family and wants everyone to be involved (which gets on my nerves.) And how do you uninvite bridesmaids? I just want a maid of honor now.

 

[LucieLoo12]

thanks. That's a good suggestion. I want to have a small reception but my fiancé has a large family and wants everyone to be involved (which gets on my nerves.) And how do you uninvite bridesmaids? I just want a maid of honor now.

tru4reele

Just be honest with them and tell them due to you all buying a new house, there are a lot of more important expenses involved now so you are just going to do a smaller wedding. I am guessing since these are your bridesmaid they are close to you and should understand. I'm pretty sure they haven't bought any dresses so they should be out of any money so they will be ok. This isn't about them, but you and FH.

 

[LiftedUp]

Bridesmaids: Hi everyone, as you may know or may not know, John and I are purchasing our first home and owing to that we're scaling down on our wedding so unfortunately I wouldn't be having bridesmaids any more. It would be a small, intimate wedding with only a maid of honour. However, I feel truly honoured that you agreed to be part of our special day and would like to especially thank you for being such great friends .

Wedding: I would cut costs and do everything on a budget (if finances permit)

Ceremony- Your dad is a pastor, perfect! I'd ask him if we could have the ceremony after an important event in the church's year so that the church would be decorated anyway.

Reception- If your church has a hall, you can have something small where there is a cake and finger foods. Or, you can look into having a free venue (someone with a backyard who can gift you its use, your backyard etc.), ask some aunties/uncles who can cook really well to prepare a great meal and have something small and intimate. Also your gift registry can include items for the house since you will be starting from scratch.

A reception can be postponed though.

All the best and congrats

 

[tru4reele]

LiftedUp I think I'm going to copy and paste that and send to my bridesmaids lol. Thanks.

 

[LiftedUp]

tru4reele I'm sure that they'll understand. Plus I'm thinking of a fabulous scaled down reception that is really budget friendly. Check out Pinterest if you haven't already

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I think still having the wedding next year is definitely doable. You can slowly furnish the house. It takes time to find the right furniture imo anyway. You can also add furniture to your registry.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

First - don't know how I missed update in the other thread I LOVE your dress!

Second - Plans change, as long as your BM haven't put out any money yet they should be ok with the suggested wording.

Third - Does your fiancee want to move the wedding up because of the house? If you scale back the original plans would March still be ok?

I'm asking because my original compromise was to ask when is your fiancee or your birthday? If you are closing in May you could possibly have a house warming over the summer or early fall that will actually be a surprise wedding. You could stave off the guests not being dressed for a party by having a deliberate theme (a la Puffy white - the house has no furniture yet so dress to the nine's). Send out invitations but keep the guest list intimate. Something like what Jennifer Lopez did with her second wedding. Folks showed up at the house with no idea it was a wedding until they arrived.

You can rent a tent in the backyard, hire a dj, get all the rentals and cater the food for a small intimate crowd. (If you're cutting back from 7 bridesmaids to zero your fiance will have to compromise on the guest list). You get to wear that fabulous dress and celebrate two milestones with your nearest and dearest. Just a thought!

edited to add: Bonus is if you do the wedding soon then there is less expectation for the house to be furnished.

 

[tru4reele]

So we decided we are getting married the Saturday before we close on the house which is May 10. A few weeks from now. We close on the house May 12. So of course it will just be very very small immediate family at the church and my best friend. And I mean IMMEDIATE family. I don't want a lot of people there. Everyone will go to dinner afterward. We decided there is no reason to really wait if we are not gonna have the wedding the way I really wanted it anyway. And we would like to be married before we move in our first house together. My dress will not be here before the wedding and it will be silly to wear it in front of like 6 people anyway. So we will plan another ceremony and reception next year or a couple years sometime. We shall see. Today I'm going to try and find a cute white outfit to get married in. Nothing very fancy. I will take pics and post them.

 

[tru4reele]

bklynbornNbred thank you.

 

[tru4reele]

I'm getting married today at 4! I'm so nervous and excited. And we closed on our new home yesterday. I'm over the moon!

 

[SlimPickinz]

Congrats tru4reele

 

[LiftedUp]

 

[SimplyWhole]

I'm so happy for you!