He said he lost interest in us

celiabug

celiabug

New Member
We had been together for 6 months and yesterday I find out he's been talking to other girls online. When I question him about it he sends me a long text message saying that he's sorry but he's lost interest in "us" and doesn't think we are compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend and that hes not "feeling our situation" anymore. I cussed him out and told him to have a nice life.

Now I'm really confused because all of this was so sudden. He had just spent the night before and we had planned to spend Christmas eve together. Now I'm planning on returning his gift and never speaking to him again. Should we have a talk or should I just leave it alone?
 
Leave it alone. You deserve better than that treatment (especially break up via text). And if the gift's a good one, think of it as a reward for time served.
 
Was there an actual exchanging of titles BF/GF? if so I understand you're being upset, but sometimes I find women tend to lean towards calling something a relationship when the guy doesn't see it that way and it hasn't been clearly discussed (one thing I've learned with men is you have to be concrete), leading to some hurt feelings.....
 
celiabug said:
We had been together for 6 months and yesterday I find out he's been talking to other girls online. When I question him about it he sends me a long text message saying that he's sorry but he's lost interest in "us" and doesn't think we are compatible as boyfriend and girlfriend and that hes not "feeling our situation" anymore. I cussed him out and told him to have a nice life.

Now I'm really confused because all of this was so sudden. He had just spent the night before and we had planned to spend Christmas eve together. Now I'm planning on returning his gift and never speaking to him again. Should we have a talk or should I just leave it alone?
Click to expand...

I think he was pretty clear. What is there to really talk about? Not saying it will be easy at all but you will need to just walk away and begin healing your broken heart. (((HUGS)))
 
jeanghrey said:
Was there an actual exchanging of titles BF/GF? if so I understand you're being upset, but sometimes I find women tend to lean towards calling something a relationship when the guy doesn't see it that way and it hasn't been clearly discussed (one thing I've learned with men is you have to be concrete), leading to some hurt feelings.....
Click to expand...

No we were official because I had that talk with him at the beginning of our relationship. I think he was hesitant to be official. Maybe I forced him.
 
I am so sorry lovie. All the hugs, love and kisses to you. I will not tell you anything cliché because I know they don't help. xo
 
Leave it alone! What else is there to do?

You will feel better about yourself based on how you handle this situation. Hold your head up high and say thank you for letting me know. Talking won't make him WANT a relationship with you or desire you any more. If anything, you being cool, calm and collected MIGHT.

He has the right to change his mind, as do you, and it doesn't make him a bad person as tough as it is to swallow.

Yes, doing this over text is a little tacky IMO but it seems like this generation communicates like this. Again, be hurt, angry and upset in private. Let him go and consider it a blessing that he told you. He could have been two-timing you for more months or years so please look on the bright side. On to the real love of your life woohoo!!!!

Big big hug!!!!!!
 
((BIG HUG))

I wouldn't even reply back.
Return the gift and buy yourself something with the money.
 
celiabug said:
No we were official because I had that talk with him at the beginning of our relationship. I think he was hesitant to be official. Maybe I forced him.
Click to expand...

And IIRC, you posted before about his reluctance. So, I'm not totally surprised to see this was the end result.

I agree that there's nothing to talk about. Return the gift, get your money back and do something nice for yourself.

ETA: Great minds think alike MzSwift. :lol:
 
blessing in disguise...keep it moving be cool about it--dont respond that will freak him out


and be happy your 2014 is starting off without someone who doesnt want to be with you...
 
OP, from the sound of your posts in the other thread, it didn't seem like you were really into him anyway. And you dodged a bullet. He's a liar and coward. Luckily you caught him now and he 'fessed up about his feelings after 6 months instead of 6 years.
 
I just posted to the other thread about chemistry. That's what he may be talking about---maybe. Compatibility is more about the values the two of you may have. That may be different too since he sounds like he never wants to be a boyfriend type or a man in any relationship longer than 6 months---at least not yet in his life. As for his post, he sounds like one of the mature ones compared to some posts I read lately. I love an honest man (not sure if he is---but I appreciate him being real at the moment).

I would definitely leave him alone.
 
Leave it alone. He pretty much wrapped up everything in that text, so saying something isn't going to change anything. He already said he was dishonest, so what else could he tell you to make you feel any better?

Return the gift, buy yourself something, and be grateful that at least he wasn't as terrible as he could have been and lead you on longer. People have been in worse relationships for years, so be glad you only invested 6 months. Take time to get all in your feelings, then let it go.
 
Is the man that is like 6'5" and 110lbs or something really unhealthy? I think you're better off. He had a medical condition he's not telling you about. Leave him alone. Keep the gift.
 
I am sorry OP this sucks especially so close to Christmas and NY but I think this is a blessing in disguise because you caught him in the middle of trying to cheat on you. There is nothing more to say IMHO I think you just need to let success be your best revenge and get dolled up over the holiday period and put yourself out there. It sounds like he thinks you are too good for him anyway and based on his actions he is clearly right.
 
Ok. His words were a little more thoughtful than the original post led on.

I still think he's immature for (1) agreeing to be in a relationship when he wasn't ready and (2) for not being forthcoming about his feelings. If you didn't find out about the online stuff when was he going to tell you all this...
 
Last edited:
I'm not with the whole text message thing. He could have talked to you about how he felt. That was a cop out/coward move. The good thing is that now that it is out there, you can move on and not waste any more time. If he didn't want to be in a relationship, he shouldn't have agreed to be your boyfriend.

Pamper yourself with the money you get back from the returned gift, and block his number. :look:
 
lux10023 said:
blessing in disguise...keep it moving be cool about it--dont respond that will freak him out


and be happy your 2014 is starting off without someone who doesnt want to be with you...
Click to expand...

I feel lux10023 said it best here. You seem like a nice lady, and you deserve better. (((hugs)))
 
I remember your last thread about him not posting anything of you on IG, but posting an exes photo:ohwell:. I know some people were taking the piss out of social networking causing worries in relationships, but sometimes these things do mean something.

I'm sorry this happened You're better off without him.
 
Sad, but move on. You received a lot more that what other's have received. Sucky that he texted it though.

Mourn, cry, get snotty, pissed off, ugly. Clean yourself up and keep steppin, you will be ok.

I was searching your old posts to find out about this dude. I found an old post that I made to you about a breakup you had in 2011. My advice is consistant.

Leave him alone. Go to a private place and let out that horrible, snotty cry, scream, hollar, call him every name in the book and punch your pillow. Then move on. You may not get any closure and if he tells you anything it may be some BS excuse. Please do yourself a favor and don't expect much. You calling and questioning him will just make you seem desperate and that is not a pretty look."
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
Right before Christmas?? and through text :-/
I really hope you can feel better about it all soon. Treat yourself and try to stay around family if possible.


I bet 20$ he will be calling to be back with you within the next 6months
 
Return the gift definitely. He said all that needed to be said so no need talking/responding to gain closure.

He is a jerk for letting it go on for this long but now you can start the new year free and open to something better or enjoy the single life.
 
kandake said:
Ok. His words were a little more thoughtful than the original post led on.

I still think he's immature for (1) agreeing to me in a relationship when he wasn't ready and (2) for not being forthcoming about his feelings. If you didn't find out about the online stuff when was he going to tell you all this...
Click to expand...
Nailed it.

Celiabug just leave it alone. Isn't he like 21 or 22 years old? He really isn't ready for this type of relationship.
 
From the other things you shared about the relationship, this shouldn't feel like a loss to you at all. But I know it's easier said than done. Sorry you are hurt (hug).
 
I'm sorry this happened to you! I wouldn't even bother trying to talk to him, if anything, thank him for his "honesty" and keep it moving. He sounds fickle...and juvenile, but at least he was honest enough to let you know how he feels. Allow yourself time to heal and do you.....my boyfriend broke up with me earlier this year and it was honestly it was the best gift he could have given to me because it gave me time to realize he wasn't the one for me AT ALL. now he wants back in and all i can do is laugh and ignore the texts and phone calls. Keep strong :)
 
Last edited:
ScorpioLove said:
Right before Christmas?? and through text :-/
I really hope you can feel better about it all soon. Treat yourself and try to stay around family if possible.


I bet 20$ he will be calling to be back with you within the next 6months
Click to expand...


I was going to say "And when he starts texting again...Ignore him".
 
Last edited:
^^^^^She should block his number so she can't receive his texts or calls.

Sorry this happened OP.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

SimpleKomplexity
He lost his wallet.....
Replies
11
Views
288
Freespirit02
F
Monilove122
He Said "Let Me Be"......
2 3
Replies
74
Views
4K
kendraf
kendraf
ashleymichelle1
He betrayed me
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
shenitab
S
Danene5
He is getting on my nerves!
Replies
12
Views
350
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
Latomian
WHY did he CHANGE???
2
Replies
40
Views
1K
lesedi
lesedi
Back
Top