He betrayed me

ashleymichelle1

ashleymichelle1

Well-Known Member
We have been together for 3 years and have a 6 mo old. Today I found out hes been sleeping w/ some girl..I moved back n with my mom 2 weeks ago because I found out he hasn't been paying the rent and wasn't being honest w/ me..and has been acting cold and distant. Now I find out hes been sleeping around. I feel like my life has fallen apart and I have never felt this hurt and lost. I never thought this would happen to me. He promised me marriage and he promised to love me forever. We have had our ups n down but never thought he would cheat on me and I thought we were gonna be together forever. I feel like a damn fool..

Will this pain ever go away?
 
Damn, I wish I could tell you that you'll feel better soon, but truth is, it takes time. Takes prayer, takes faith, patience and understanding that this was not the best for you.

Be strong.
 
I feel you. My soon to be ex husband revealed he cheated on me after we'd been together 17 years. It's devastating. For the 2 years after I was trying to save my marriage, nothing felt real. I wasn't in my right mind. Mine was also bad with money and not responsible with it at all. After all that time we still had nothing--then he cheats? Yeah. Right. We're through now and good riddance.

You can survive it. You are strong and will make it for you and your child. Just be patient with yourself and remind yourself that each day with your little one is a blessing. It's also a blessing when you shed dead, disloyal weight.
 
It will go away, it always seem after a break up that you feel you will never love again, you will love again and be loved again.
 
Just know that when your mate is unfaithful to you doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you . Doesn't mean your unattractive, You can be the perfect gf or bf and still get cheated on. Halle berry is known for her beauty and was cheated on. You just need someone to value you as you value them, but like someone said time is the only way to get over the heartache, you can listen to people console you but only you can actually move on when your ready
 
It will pass, just cry and really feel the pain now so you can move on and get over it.
I don't have a child, but I am sure the love for your child will make you stronger and be able to move on.

I will be sending you tons of positive energy and remember, this too shall pass.
 
So sorry to read this smh....BIG HUG.....its gonna take time and like someone mentioned above..cry when u need to & talk about how u feel as much as u need to. Never let a man make u feel less beatiful or feel any other way about yourself.

This too shall pass and will only make you stronger :)
 
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You will get over this. It seems impossible now but you will. And I hate to say this, but his irresponsibility with money tells me that he did you a favor by cheating. You would have probably tried to work it out if he had come through with his share of the financial help and later on he would have failed you again. The cheating pushed you over the edge and now you know that he is irresponsible and untrustworthy in general. Girl please, focus on you and your baby and don't look back. He has shown you who he is.
 
Thanks for the kind words everyone.

I can't believe I woke up to a super long text last night and to sum it up he basically said hes going through a phase right now & loves me and only me but hes only 22 and he cant handle such a big responsibility and he still wants to get married one day when he gets this feeling of wanting to be single and have fun and smoke n drink and party out of his system.

Yeah this guy must be smoking crack..he done lost his got damn mind. I'm going tmrw to see if I can break the lease then i'm filing for child support.
 
Sad thing is hes the one who wanted me to move in w/ him and be this "family". He wanted me to stay at home and take care of our son and cook and clean and I did that. I had really bad Post partum depression and it has been rough since I had the baby but all I needed was his love & support. Then he ****ing repays me by cheating and telling me this is "too much responsibility". I'm so ****ing pissed
 
The hurt and pain will go away. It will take time. It's a process that you have to be willing to go through. You are going to have to go through some emotions, the crying & anger. Then you have to pick yourself up and focus on what's important you and your baby. When it becomes real to you that he didnt deserve you and you are much better off without the cold, distant, cheating, irresponsible guy , u will feel like a weight has been lifted off of you and you will feel free. Then you can forgive him , open yourself up for the real thing.

You are in my thought, and this will be a distant memory of a bad relationship of your pass that helped you learn and grow.

Please feel free to vent and release your emotion her anytime. We got your back!!!!!!!!!

This will pass!
 
ashleymichelle1 said:
Thanks for the kind words everyone.

I can't believe I woke up to a super long text last night and to sum it up he basically said hes going through a phase right now & loves me and only me but hes only 22 and he cant handle such a big responsibility and he still wants to get married one day when he gets this feeling of wanting to be single and have fun and smoke n drink and party out of his system.

Yeah this guy must be smoking crack..he done lost his got damn mind. I'm going tmrw to see if I can break the lease then i'm filing for child support.
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It's funny how he thinks he has a choice but he leaves you with the responsibility of the baby.

When I was in my early 20's my first love told me that he would marry me when we turned 30. He wanted to run the streets and run with women - all while I remained a virgin and waited on him.

And he really thought I was gonna do it.

Thank god for your mom. And just because u have a kid with than man does not mean you have to be with him. He is not ready, it's not your fault, cut your loses with him and better yourself for your baby!!!

((((hugs))))

He is a jerk. It's not your fault.
 
vevster said:
Why didn't he pay the rent in the home housing his child? This guy is a loser.
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Hes very irresponsible w/ his money...we never even had food to eat because his expensive cell phone bill and cable was more important to him. he is a loser. Sad thing is i just figured out the day he slept w/ that girl and had her in our ****ing apt and in our bed while I was at my moms was the day he asked me for some money. Soo im guessing he used it to buy weed and alcohol for that girl. I feel like a complete idiot and never though I would be in this situation.
 
ashleymichelle1 said:
Hes very irresponsible w/ his money...we never even had food to eat because his expensive cell phone bill and cable was more important to him. he is a loser. Sad thing is i just figured out the day he slept w/ that girl and had her in our ****ing apt and in our bed while I was at my moms was the day he asked me for some money. Soo im guessing he used it to buy weed and alcohol for that girl. I feel like a complete idiot and never though I would be in this situation.[/QUOTE

The signs were there. But, you can't beat yourself up for his actions. It's clear to you now, and you are doing something about it.
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You jus continue to work thru the hurt and anger and be strong for your son. It will take time but you will alright. Sometimes life lessons are so unbearable but it will be a lesson learned.....Big Hug!
 
ashleymichelle1, none of us ever think we'll be in this situation.

but dont beat yourself up or be angry with yourself for ignoring or missing any signs. when it was in your face you did what was right and put your foot down and defended your boundaries. some of us take a lot longer. even though you have a child, you got it early (unlike my 20 years). your youth will afford you the luxury of being able to start over and getting a real life established without this sorry excuse of a man.

you are a good woman who trusted. there is NOTHING wrong with that. it does get better. kickin his a-- to the curb is gonna open the door for a REAL man to enter your life when you are ready. for now, hold your child close and remind him/her that momma will love them (no matter what kinda fool daddy is). It's what I do every day with my little girl.
 
ashleymichelle1 said:
Sad thing is hes the one who wanted me to move in w/ him and be this "family". He wanted me to stay at home and take care of our son and cook and clean and I did that. I had really bad Post partum depression and it has been rough since I had the baby but all I needed was his love & support. Then he ****ing repays me by cheating and telling me this is "too much responsibility". I'm so ****ing pissed
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People kill me always blaming someone for their responsibilities "I cheated because you ...." no one can make you cheat, if a friend talks you into it, you made the move not them! And thats total BS! and sadly guys in their early 20s are still immature and think that it's about quantity and not quality. They rather have 3 girls who is ok with not settling down and have no idea who they are screwing end up pregnant and don't know who the father is then to have a women settle down with her man, take care of the house and the family. That's his loss. Just when he comes crawling back don't let him get back in. Besides taking care of your child it shouldn't be a need for anything else to be discussed
 
ashleymichelle1 said:
Sad thing is hes the one who wanted me to move in w/ him and be this "family". He wanted me to stay at home and take care of our son and cook and clean and I did that. I had really bad Post partum depression and it has been rough since I had the baby but all I needed was his love & support. Then he ****ing repays me by cheating and telling me this is "too much responsibility". I'm so ****ing pissed
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Makes you want to cut his D*I*C*K* off, dont it:nono:.

Been there. DONT EVER THINK IT WONT GET BETTER, CUZ IT WILL. And when it gets better, its better than you could ever imagine. God makes a way when there seems to be no way in sight, and then all of a SUDDEN.
 
Do you have a trusted friend you can vent to who will keep your confidence? That always helps. A lifetime ago I used a women's support group at a church & filling the void with positive things to refocus my attention away from him. I went to a lot of young adult activities & learned a lot about how to develop loving relationships in all areas of my life.

When I look back on that period getting that person out of my space & my system was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

He will try to pop in & play on your desires for an intact family but his actions show that he is not in a place to meet your heart's desires. You can still hold him accountable for the support of the child while ensuring that he respects your boundaries.
 
I am so sorry this happened to you OP. This guy really sounds like a toxic person that really doesn't deserve you. I know it hurts pretty damn bad, but it does get better. I know you will continue to be a wonderful mother, but don't forget to love, care for, and pamper yourself. The last thing you need at this point is to be neglectful to your spiritual and physical being. I will keep you in my prayers.
 
You are young and will regroup. Consider yourself lucky you found out he couldn't hang with adulthood. Too bad you are going to be stuck with his arse for the next 18 years plus. Lesson to be learned is never listen to a man tell you he wants a baby and/or a sahm w/o the marriage first. Even with the wedding ring he can still change his mind.
Have a baby because you want a baby ourself! It will make it alot easier dealing with any fallout or ending up with a ninja you gotta beg for every damn thing.

Chile if ya'll wasn't having food and smit you shoulda ran back to momma's asap!

I hope you take this as a lesson cuz you don't have time to wallow in his bs. Your a mother responsible for a baby now. Time to man up get some education/training so you can make a life for yourself and child. Good luck!
 
Well that sucks. Tell him that you are giving him custody so that you can get partying out of your system for a few years. :look:
 
Whats messed up is he has been txting me alot and I have been ignoring his txts. But this morning I wake up to this super long txt where hes basically saying he misses me and is sorry and blah blah blah. He is such a joke smh. This is so stressful.
 
ashleymichelle1 said:
Whats messed up is he has been txting me alot and I have been ignoring his txts. But this morning I wake up to this super long txt where hes basically saying he misses me and is sorry and blah blah blah. He is such a joke smh. This is so stressful.
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I know you feel the urge to probably give in but let me warn you, it will be the same bs and you will be mad you fell for it again. Don't do it!!
 
Girl, FLEE!!!! You are too young for this b/s and this is a story that has been played out in every town, county and urban area far too many times!!!! You are still young. If I were you, I would leave town and cut off all contact for awhile (sounds extreme, but she needs a clean break). A man w/addictions is not a man ready for the responsibility of heading a household. I will bet you $100 that if you go back to him, you WILL regret it!!!! Don't give up your youth on this loser. :nono:
 
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ashleymichelle1 said:
Whats messed up is he has been txting me alot and I have been ignoring his txts. But this morning I wake up to this super long txt where hes basically saying he misses me and is sorry and blah blah blah. He is such a joke smh. This is so stressful.
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and "blah blah blah"? I heard this before.... hummmmm

................. oh yeah, my sister said that before she took her man back:rolleyes:.


Then he put his boot to her face literally.


Dont believe that hype, save ya life.

Bye bye bye
 
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