fattyfatfat
Well-Known Member
OP, let us know what you chose to do.
He cheated I know itsa life but I need advice
- Thread starter BeautifulNameX
- Start date
and you don't need a boyfriend at 17 anyway. You are too young. Let us now what happens.Didn't read any comments yet but I guess since he does know if he had sex or not, he is probably unsure as to whether or not protection was use.
erplexed
There are so many things wrong with what you have shared op. I so leave him alone but I know sometimes that can be easier said then done.
erplexedThere are so many things wrong with what you have shared op. I so leave him alone but I know sometimes that can be easier said then done.
firecracker
Well-Known Member
Sorry to hear your feeling down. You said it was his first. First what sexual encounter, cheating or getting wasted?
misskris816
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry that this guy hurt you; you definitely deserve better.
His story sounds ridiculous and I hope you realize that you should walk away before he hurts you again.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
His story sounds ridiculous and I hope you realize that you should walk away before he hurts you again.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I agree with all of this.
I'll be honest, there have been times when being tipsy gave me the courage to do something that I wanted to do when sober (i.e. I confessed to this guy that I like him. Big mistake, but that's another thread).
But I don't think I've ever done something that I wouldn't have done if I was sober.
freshlikemoi
Well-Known Member
Sadly, this was really funny to me. However, ITA! Wait not about the 21y.o dying of AIDS [No way]..But the bolded part had me dying.
Ms.Nigeria
New Member
let him go
He needs to "get gone." You deserve better. In a few months (even weeks), you'll look back at the situation and wonder why you even wasted time thinking about that idiot boy.
I know you might be feeling confused right now about what to do, but that feeling will pass. He needs to be your EX. Don't take him back!
I know you might be feeling confused right now about what to do, but that feeling will pass. He needs to be your EX. Don't take him back!
BeautifulNameX
Active Member
Wow! I didn't think this thread processed because I used a slow library computer. But I found out a lil too late.
Update: He drove all around town looking 4 me found me at the library right when I was finishing this post. Got on his knees and begged for my forgiveness. I accepted it and took him back. That was like maybe 2 weeks ago but we had problems since.
His WHOLE family doesn't (never has) like me for some reason. His grandma real strict (which is probably why he went out and too advantage of his first bit of freedom and went buck wild, which is still no excuse but understandable.) She says im moving out and getting pregnant . . . she don't know me I'm a virgin saving sex for marriage. And his family thinks im dumb for quitting my job at a beauty supply store to sale Cutco knifes for Vector. I wasn't getting enough hours at the hair store. (4 to 8 a week 7.50 an hour) as opposed to 15.00 dollars per apt.)
But me and my older sister established that he did it out of peer preasure, his 17 year old brother has sex and stuff and like I said he dosn't like me so he was saying stuff to him on the trip like I don't know why your trying to play yourself like you faithful, you know your just like the rest of us.
We basically the same age. He's 18 we graduated from the same school. The girl was. . . . 15.
Everybody close to me is saying I need to stay with him because it was an honest mistake and he did tell you the truth. But I agree with you all we been together too long he is young and might mess up again and I need to focus in school and stuff. But I'm afraid that if we break up what if we really were Soulmates and he really was God sent.
I feel like sometimes im happy with him and love him but other times I look at him and think to my self . . .he tried to play me.
Update: He drove all around town looking 4 me found me at the library right when I was finishing this post. Got on his knees and begged for my forgiveness. I accepted it and took him back. That was like maybe 2 weeks ago but we had problems since.
His WHOLE family doesn't (never has) like me for some reason. His grandma real strict (which is probably why he went out and too advantage of his first bit of freedom and went buck wild, which is still no excuse but understandable.) She says im moving out and getting pregnant . . . she don't know me I'm a virgin saving sex for marriage. And his family thinks im dumb for quitting my job at a beauty supply store to sale Cutco knifes for Vector. I wasn't getting enough hours at the hair store. (4 to 8 a week 7.50 an hour) as opposed to 15.00 dollars per apt.)
But me and my older sister established that he did it out of peer preasure, his 17 year old brother has sex and stuff and like I said he dosn't like me so he was saying stuff to him on the trip like I don't know why your trying to play yourself like you faithful, you know your just like the rest of us.
We basically the same age. He's 18 we graduated from the same school. The girl was. . . . 15.
Everybody close to me is saying I need to stay with him because it was an honest mistake and he did tell you the truth. But I agree with you all we been together too long he is young and might mess up again and I need to focus in school and stuff. But I'm afraid that if we break up what if we really were Soulmates and he really was God sent.
I feel like sometimes im happy with him and love him but other times I look at him and think to my self . . .he tried to play me.
Ambrosia
New Member
Op, you are young and imo you need to be concerned about what you really deserve. Do you really think a God sent soulmate would allegedly cave in to peer pressure. Do you want to spend your youth always wondering in the back of your mind if he will cheat again. Most likely he will. Do yourself a favor...drop him.
Bunny77
New Member
The idea of "soulmates" is a worldly one and not of God. God says nothing in the Bible about sending anyone a "soulmate."
Also, don't try to twist this by saying that he might be God sent. Women do this all the time when they want to hold on to some no good dude that is totally wrong for them and they know it... but they try to justify it by saying, "Well, maybe he's God-sent."
If he was God-sent, you wouldn't be dealing with this right now. Don't put God onto something that YOU want... when He doesn't want it at all!!!
tocktick
Well-Known Member
Seriously! God has shown OP time and time again that this guy is bad news. It's clear OP is just willing to ignore the signs even though it's to her own detriment.
he didn't "try" to play you, he successfully did it. begging for you back doesn't mean he cares as much as he really should. if he cared for you, he wouldn't have cheated, peer pressure or not. peer pressure is a convenient excuse for people to do stupid shyt and absolve themselves of the responsibility. you're not married to him or in any way obligated to try and work this out. you're too young to be in the kind of relationship where things are so rocky and unhealthy. i suggest you read this thread to see how a "soulmate" really acts towards his woman. good luck.
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BeautifulNameX
Active Member
Tru, your right soulmates is a worldly idea. I felt that he is God sent because I went to church that day and prayed for some one that love me for myself (he did) respect my family (he dose) always have like fun and be happy around me (we were) never love each other less ( its been that way for 15 months)
But he tells me NOW he drank so much because he felt I didn't trust him. I kept telling him that I do trust him and hes a pretty good looking guy and if the wrong female came at the right time it might be a problem because you are a guy. Because I know young girls my age are more scandelous. and I tell him that its the females that I dont trust.
But you know thats still no excuse that is like giving up. And he shouldn't have given up on me if he loved me.
TCatt86
Well-Known Member
Your logic is flawed here. It seems like you are excusing his behavior because he's a guy. You shouldn't do that. You don't trust the scandalous females out in the streets that don't know you from Sally, but you do trust a boy who cheats on you and tells you he loves you? I say this in the most sincere way, because I've been there and I hate to see a young woman allow herself to be hurt, but cut him out of your life. Know that a drunk man's words are a sober man's conscious. There is nothing I've done drunk that I hadn't thought about, the alcohol only lowered my governor so there was nothing to tell me to stop.
You seem strong in your faith you will also now that the devil can be cunning and conniving.
sky_blu
Well-Known Member
You NEED to put on your running shoes and take off running! Quickly, soon, and in a HURRY. If his family doesnt like you, why would you listen to any of them telling you that you should stay with his sorry arse? Honest mistake my __. In past experience, cheaters will cheat again. Which is why I will never waste anymore of my valuable time on a cheater. JMO.
BeautifulNameX
Active Member
Its like my friends and big sister satin I should stay. his family wants him to leave me but he tells them that he isn't doing that because he knows I'm a good person and whatever.
We still together to this day and I still feel horriable. I want to leave but I don't know how. I was like his only real girlfriend that he loved or what ever. I forgive him but the pain is still there.
We still together to this day and I still feel horriable. I want to leave but I don't know how. I was like his only real girlfriend that he loved or what ever. I forgive him but the pain is still there.
BeautifulNameX
Active Member
My sister says im being self righteous for saying that im a virgin and its not fair that he wasn't able to hold out on marriage. Because I tell her its not fair and i don't want to deal with that.
Is that self righteousness?
Is that self righteousness?
Farida
Well-Known Member
It is not even the fact that he isn't a virgin. You're saving yourself and he's screwing people and doesn't remember???? Is he serious?
IMO it is not unreasonable to want to have a virgin as well. It is difficult with men, but not impossible. You could miss out too on men who are good men but made mistakes in their past. I would say, if you dumped a man solely because he wasn't a virgin then it would be unreasonable.
IMO it is not unreasonable to want to have a virgin as well. It is difficult with men, but not impossible. You could miss out too on men who are good men but made mistakes in their past. I would say, if you dumped a man solely because he wasn't a virgin then it would be unreasonable.
Sasha Fierce
Active Member
That's not being self righteous....that's having self respect! And you should always hold on to your self respect. You don't have to lower your standards or succumb to anyone or any act. Be proud that you have held on to the standards you have set for yourself and don't let them go at the urging of anyone.
It is A-OK for you to want someone with the same standards as yourself. Believe that!
You decided to stay and now say that you are sad. You don't have to listen to your sister or others who urge you to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy.
God is at your center. Honor yourself and remain true to what you want in God. Don't play yourself small by accepting anything.
Please don't accept anything. Please.
envybeauty
New Member
drop him. you're young and he doesn't know what love is. i know grown men who waited until they were married before having sex. if you don't live with him, don't have kids with him (of course), don't have a house/business together..........then it is not hard to "leave" a man.
BeautifulNameX
Active Member
Yea thats exactly how it is. He made a mistake in the past. He confessed and told me the truth or what ever but then its still like he was giving up on me and cheated on me.
Its not the fact that he isn't a virgin but the fact that he was one when we first started going out but just couldn't hold out.
sharentu
Well-Known Member
my mom told me one thing that i will never forget "the devil sends blessings too". dont let your guard down thinking that some thing/someone may be of God when it isnt. i dont know what he is to be for you but i do know that right now he had violated what you two were supposed to mean to each other. for that you both need a break, if it is mean to be then let him go and see. if its not at least you will be available for who is supposed to be for you. i am sure you are scared and you do care about him but you are young and have a lot of life still to live. ((hugs))
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tmichelle
New Member
Oh my, I just want you to come live with me. You are surrounded by people who make no sense (headed up by that pitiful boyfriend blaming you for HIS drunkeness).
Please, try to stay strong, I know it isn't easy with everybody and their mamas telling you to stay with this guy but you know that he isn't trust worthy. This will just be the tip of the iceburg and feel like child's play in a few years if you stay with him. It will get worse.
Also, I know, I know, I know it is easy for me to say, but God won't trick you. God will never punish you for choosing God first. He will never say, well, "I'm not going to bless her with a great guy because she put Me first and she should have stayed with that fool". When you trust in God (easier said than done, I struggle with that mightily everyday) He will then bless you.
SaNyjh
Well-Known Member
Umm... You're 17 right. Please do me a favor and enjoy your last year of school and the rest of your teenage years. Don't spend too musch time stressin over some "nappy head boy"( that's what my momma used to call them). It only gets more stressful as you get older, if you let it. Boys, men...Men, boys...there basically the same, they just have better jobs and a bit more money...sometimes
. They sh$t don't change.
Sistaslick
New Member
I can't pretend to know the mind of God, but something tells me he doesn't send 17 year old girls drunken, cheating, lying 18-year old boys as "soulmates."
You're out there being faithful, trying to do the right thing, saving yourself-- for him? DT-- you're the prize. He needs to get himself together, and come correct. He clearly does not deserve you. Don't lower yourself to make things okay for him. He needs to be coming up to your level. Focus on school, hon and try to block out the background noise. You are young, don't let this dude keep you from being available when your REAL blessing is trying to find you. Your real blessing won't be able to find you if you are tied down with and running up behind that nucklehead.
Let him go, and make it your mission to be successful in life and school. When they see you out there doing the dang thing his family will WISH you'd chosen to stay with "their boy."
tmichelle
New Member
I can't pretend to know the mind of God, but something tells me he doesn't send 17 year old girls drunken, cheating, lying 18-year old boys as "soulmates."
You're out there being faithful, trying to do the right thing, saving yourself-- for him? DT-- you're the prize. He needs to get himself together, and come correct. He clearly does not deserve you. Don't lower yourself to make things okay for him. He needs to be coming up to your level. Focus on school, hon and try to block out the background noise. You are young, don't let this dude keep you from being available when your REAL blessing is trying to find you. Your real blessing won't be able to find you if you are tied down with and running up behind that nucklehead.
Yeah, what she said.
BeautifulNameX
Active Member
I wasn't going to do it until Last night I had a dream he was with my used to be best friend from grade and middle school. The dream scared me because I had a dream with the same plot same person about a year ago when we first started talking. When he called me the first thing I said was were not going to work out. And he was like auk I still think you the girl for me or what ever and Imo like what if im not hes like i dont want anyone else.
Later on I we go to a lady from his churches house and shes like i think your together for a reason and i tell her every thing and hes like i don't want to loose her. Im like i feel like im too young to be put in a grown woman relationship. playing the role as a wife with out commitment. so we agree to be friends.
His little brother comes around talking stuff and he get soo mad like don't disrespect my girl. We still friend im a see if he changes like he says he will.
Im still curious about that dream. It hurt me more than what I said happen in the first post.
Later on I we go to a lady from his churches house and shes like i think your together for a reason and i tell her every thing and hes like i don't want to loose her. Im like i feel like im too young to be put in a grown woman relationship. playing the role as a wife with out commitment. so we agree to be friends.
His little brother comes around talking stuff and he get soo mad like don't disrespect my girl. We still friend im a see if he changes like he says he will.
Im still curious about that dream. It hurt me more than what I said happen in the first post.
tmichelle
New Member
Thanks for the update! I have to admit, I'm a little put off by that woman at church. With who's authority did she say that you should be together? Did God give her a present day revelation?! People really need to watch what they say and who they attribute it to. People used to do this to me all the time, they'd tell me they "knew" something about me for my future, well unless you are God, don't talk to me about what you "know"/"feel" or anything else unless you have a scriptural principle to back it up! People will really mess up your life if you let them.
As I stated before, I wish I could just take you home with me, you seem to be surrounded by people that aren't making any sense!
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