Have you ever turned down a marriage proposal?

[aribell]

I love the positive attitudes here and the total lack of looking backward with regret. And lots of happy endings, too. Guess it goes to show that you really can't make decisions out of fear of missing out on something. If it's the right thing, it'll be clear.

 

[Ms Red]

Once, when I was 17. The guy was White and was about 10 years older than me. Met his parents, he met mine. But it was alllll wrong. He became a psychiatrist and married an Asian girl about 2 years after we dated.

Still unmarried, no regrets.

 

[hopeful]

This is an interesting thread.

 

[fmnnity]

Yep. And it was a public proposal. He was a jacka$$ and still is. He is married to someone else and all I can think is that I'm sooooo glad I dodge that bullet.

 

[mango387]

Okay, so almost no one has regrets at all?
For the ladies who are still single, were all the exes in question "bad catches"
or do you have peace b/c you know in heart that the relationship was not meant to be?

 

[tiara76]

Okay, so almost no one has regrets at all?
For the ladies who are still single, were all the exes in question "bad catches"
or do you have peace b/c you know in heart that the relationship was not meant to be?

most of them were cool, real cool...relationship just over or changed...you either grow together or apart...they are good/great catches for other people...

a couple others...one went to jail on some real dumbness, he may be out, i think he got 10 years and he asked me when i was a senior in high school.....the other one who me and him were in a relationship where our anger issues were the main thing we reflected back to each other...a friend of mines told me he was supposed to get married a few years ago and the bride bounced out a day before the wedding...I checked my anger issues...don't know if he quite got his under control....he's a good dude overall, i hope they find love in themselves and in others regardless

 

[FlowerHair]

I broke up an engagement once a long time ago. The BEST thing I ever did

Took the nice ring to the pawn shop and called it a day

 

[SerenavanderWoodsen]

Yes, it happened about 3 years ago with someone who I did have feelings for and dated years before but was very much in love with my evasive bf who Im now married to. I never gave him a reason and I regret that deeply, I didnt want him to know I was seeing someone. I feel that I was so cold to him and I wish I could make it up somehow even if hes happily married now but I lost contact with him .

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you?

AT 30 almost 31...not even close So, no. Reading this thread is a stark reminder how behind the curve I really am

Why'd you say no?

N/A

Are you still unmarried now? Any regrets?

Single. Regrets...yup. But I do the best I can to not live in the past.

 

[chrstndiva]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you? Yes, twice.

Why'd you say no?
The first one was a great guy, but I just couldn't love him back as much as he loved me. I loved him, but never fell in love with him.
The second guy I was in love with, so I initially said yes but it did not sit well in my spirit. I was so uneasy about it, so I prayed and talked to my mom and then called it off. Hindsight, we were sooo not right for each other. If we married, we would probably be divorced now.
Are you still unmarried now? Any regrets?

No regrets whatsoever. Happily married for over 4 years.

 

[MsElise]

Originally Posted by nicola.kirwan
Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you? Yes/NO
Why'd you say no? I was engaged to same person 3 times. I broke it off 3 times too. He's was controlling and verbally abusive. It would get close to the date and I either kick him out or pack my bags and leave.
Are you still unmarried now? Yes but happy that I am.
Regrets....only that I ever laid eyes on him in the first place.

 

[Bulletproof]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage,
Yes

or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you?
Yeppers

Why'd you say no?
Marriage is forever and I knew I was changing each time and would not be the person they were in love with. I have also been engaged 2times with a ring 1 time without it (we were picking it out together)

Are you still unmarried now?
Yes, I ended the engagements for the same reason. I wanted to feel captivated and though I loved and in all cases still love those men I knew I wasn't ready to be a wife and mother of their children and felt pressured. You can love someone but not be in love, I figure if I get married I would like both.

Any regrets?

Nope these were all good men who needed someone who wanted what they wanted not a flighty, self involved young lady like myself who was better at being a friend then a life partner, in those times.

 

[priceless2608]

I honestly have no regrets, and it's not because I'm not single.

The man that I turned down, was a good man, but I know our marriage would not have lasted , because for me, our relationship was superficial.

Okay, so almost no one has regrets at all?
For the ladies who are still single, were all the exes in question "bad catches"
or do you have peace b/c you know in heart that the relationship was not meant to be?

 

[ilah]

Haven't turned one down but I did break off an engagement - He started to act the a** and that meant that I needed to go.

 

[Honey-Dip]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you?
Yes, I have. Twice.

Why'd you say no?
One time he was too possessive and I didn't love him enought to be with him. The other, I was to young. Headed to college....not ready. Are you still unmarried now? Any regrets?

Newly married. No regrets. I am so happy now!

 

[VelvetRain]

AT 30 almost 31...not even close So, no. Reading this thread is a stark reminder how behind the curve I really am



N/A



Single. Regrets...yup. But I do the best I can to not live in the past.

Hell neither have I. And I am 3 years older than you. It's important to remember that everyone takes a different path.

 

[MysteryMe]

A few and I have no regrets.

 

[nicki6]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you? Yes...twice

Why'd you say no? Both were too immature. One I refused because he had no ring...BOY,bye!!

Are you still unmarried now? Any regrets?

Still unmarried...and I only regret one because he was great for the most part...but ultimately I knew we were not a match for the long term

 

[FeelinIt]

AT 30 almost 31...not even close So, no. Reading this thread is a stark reminder how behind the curve I really am



N/A



Single. Regrets...yup. But I do the best I can to not live in the past.

Really...can i get someone to take me on a date, let alone propose.

 

[DarkHair]

I should've turned down DH's first proposal. There was no romance whatsoever. It was as if he served me steak and potatoes on a trash can lid. It was spontaneous but I HATE to tell the story . He re proposed and it was romantic and fit the mood. We are going on year two of our marriage. We had this discussion recently as well.

 

[JustKiya]

Sure did, twice, actually.

First time was my first really serious boyfriend in high school. He asked me to marry him right after prom. I managed to hold in the hysterical laughter, and told him no, and broke up with him right after graduation.

Second time was my first really serious girlfriend - obviously, we wouldn't have been able to be legally married, but she told me that she wanted to commit, lifelong, my senior year of college, and I told her I wasn't ready or interested in settling down like that.

I'm married now, and don't regret in the least turning either of them down. Interestingly enough, DH was my first really serious 'post-college' relationship. I never noticed that symmetry.

 

[Radianthealth]

LOL Justkiya, you live such an exciting & interesting life

DH pretended to propose in his apartment once, I looked at him like he was crazy because I just knew he wasn't trying to propose in his apartment

He proposed for real in a great setting and I said yes

 

[JustKiya]

LOL Justkiya, you live such an exciting life

It's odd, it almost never seems that way to me.

 

[Radianthealth]

It's odd, it almost never seems that way to me.

Yes your stories are always funny.

I read your posts like "Okay...sounds like fun!"

 

[aribell]

Ever turned down a direct proposal of marriage, or refused someone who made it clear they wanted that from you?

Yes.

Why'd you say no?

We are very different. We have similar values, but not much at all in common socially, hobby-wise, life goals, etc. Many people in his life wouldn't "approve," either, and I don't believe in trying to vault over obstacles at the outset.

It's difficult, because I have no doubt that he would be an excellent husband and father and would spoil me. But I'm not attracted to him at all, and I feel like our feelings for one another are too unequal. I'd feel selfish.

Are you still unmarried now?

Yes.

Any regrets?

None. I think all will turn out for the best.

 

[phynestone]

Yes, right before I left for college. I do think this guy truly cared about me and was desperate to keep me in his life, but I knew I would never love him the way he deserved to be loved. I don't regret the decision.

Second time was my best male friend after I had gotten out of my relationship with my college sweetheart. I didn't want to either.

I don't regret either decision. I think I will know when it's the right person.

 

[Honey Bee]

I turned down the same guy twice, once in hs, once in college. *sigh* He was problematic. We went to the same boarding school, then the same Ivy. He thought we would have made a perfect black couple. I thought he was cute, but boring; 'packing', but not knowledgeable; 'there' but not 'there', if you know what I mean. I had met his parents, several times, they loved me, his little brothers followed me around like puppies... it was all too 'precious,' I felt.

Any regrets? Nope. I think I made the right choice.

Am I married now? No, but I'm with a guy and we have plans to get married when I'm ready. Oddly, he's very similar to the other guy, on paper, but sooooo different. Plus, I had a (very long) list of the attributes I wanted in a husband, and guy #2 fulfills all of them! What's the likelihood of that?

 

[aribell]

**************

 

[Dak]

Yes, I've turned down three.

The first was a boyfriend from college. I enjoyed dating him but I knew I was too young to get married. There was too much more I wanted to do before I settled down.

The second, well, he probably hardly counted. I think it was the third date and he asked me to marry him. He barely knew me!

The third, we had been dating, then lived together for a year. I had moved out. He wasn't "man" enough for me, still very dependent on his parents approval, kept very important life decisions from his parents because he wanted their approval (and monetary support). After I had moved out he bought me an engagement ring. I couldn't accept it. That was hard. I hated seeing that look in his eyes, but I knew he wasn't the right person for me either.

I met my future husband a year later, we're married still!

 

[lushcoils]

How did the men react when you turned them down? I'm assuming you broke up soon after? How long were you dating them before he proposed?