Have you ever felt smothered? If so, what did you do?

[cocoberry10]

Hello Ladies:

There's this guy who really likes me. He's a wonderful person, and I may have wanted to date him. However, I feel smothered by him. I feel really bad saying that, b/c he's so nice. But at the same time, he's ruining his chances with me, b/c he's waaaaaaaaaaay clingy.

He's gone through a lot of personal tragedy, so I'm definitely trying to be a good friend for him. However, I don't want to take it to the next step, b/c I don't even feel comfortable that if things didn't work out (for natural reasons) that he would be okay.

Have you ever felt smothered in a relationship? What did you do? Thanks!

 

[NYAmicas]

I had a friend like that. A lot of people call him unattractive and he has a hard time finding dates. I dont think he's ugly but his lack of self-confidence is overwhelming. I actually thought about dating him when I first got to know him because he was nice and had good convo but I noticed he was too clingy. Everytime he would meet a female he would push up on her in a desperate fashion and as a friend I would tell him it's not cool. He was also ultra sensitive so I couldnt say it the way it needed to be said. I even told him at one time he was smothering and he never let it down.

In a relationship I had one bf who at times could be smothering and he treated me like I was a delicate doll which was annoying. He was a good bf though.

 

[cocoberry10]

I had a friend like that. A lot of people call him unattractive and he has a hard time finding dates. I dont think he's ugly but his lack of self-confidence is overwhelming. I actually thought about dating him when I first got to know him because he was nice and had good convo but I noticed he was too clingy. Everytime he would meet a female he would push up on her in a desperate fashion and as a friend I would tell him it's not cool. He was also ultra sensitive so I couldnt say it the way it needed to be said. I even told him at one time he was smothering and he never let it down.

In a relationship I had one bf who at times could be smothering and he treated me like I was a delicate doll which was annoying. He was a good bf though.

This is really well said, and I think it sums it up nicely. The bolded is truly the problem. My sister, who's getting married soon once dated a guy like this. He was really, really handsome (truthfully, he was a little more handsome than the guy she's marrying), so it's not just a looks thing. I agree with what you said. They don't make bad boyfriends, but you feel like you are suffocating when you are with them. And that's what annoys me. I don't want to be with this guy and feel like I can't live

 

[Chocogurl1der]

I broke up with him. I couldn't take him showing up at my job unannounced, hanging all over me when we went out. And his whining when I was unable to go out when I was working was just too much. I was working 50-60 hrs and spending all my free time with him. I only dated him for about 3.5 months. I had never gotten sick so often in my life. It was a relief when I dumped him.

Denitra

 

[Bublin]

Mmmm - i have recently met someone who is showing signs of being clingy and is investing alot of his emotions in me already.

I really like him but i feel he is putting pressure on me to feel like he does. I will - but it will be in my time not his. He wears his heart on his sleeve whilst i'm more reserved.

He is a very good looking man, successful man and treats me like a princess (which i happen to love cus i'm a spoilt brat at heart ).

I'm now wondering if this is why he is single cus women couldn't take his clingyness. I haven't actually told him how i feel but i will just have to see.

On the other hand there are many women out there that would love for their man (or any man) to show them some attention and treat them like a princess or a china doll. There are too many bas*ards out there. If a man treats you right then perhaps its not all that bad.

 

[Bublin]

I broke up with him. I couldn't take him showing up at my job unannounced

Now that is going toooo far.

 

[cocoberry10]

Mmmm - i have recently met someone who is showing signs of being clingy and is investing alot of his emotions in me already.

I really like him but i feel he is putting pressure on me to feel like he does. I will - but it will be in my time not his. He wears his heart on his sleeve whilst i'm more reserved.

He is a very good looking man, successful man and treats me like a princess (which i happen to love cus i'm a spoilt brat at heart ).

I'm now wondering if this is why he is single cus women couldn't take his clingyness. I haven't actually told him how i feel but i will just have to see.

On the other hand there are many women out there that would love for their man (or any man) to show them some attention and treat them like a princess or a china doll. There are too many bas*ards out there. If a man treats you right then perhaps its not all that bad.

I am having the same issue as the bolded. I need to grow into my feelings, and I think he's pushing too fast. But I do agree with your last paragraph, and for that reason, I don't push him away!

 

[sky_blu]

Yes then I turned around and started smothering him.

 

[princessnad]

I had to break up with him. I was trying to break up with him since month 3 and he clinged and clinged so it lasted a whole year!!! It was horrible and I will never do that again. Clingy guys are NOT the business. People need to work out their self-confidence issues before they get in relationships.

 

[tallygirl]

I felt like I was beginning to lose the essence of who I am...the smothering became such a very unattractive and unappealing characteristic that I began to resent him....so, he got the boot ...kicked to the curb ...

 

[Bublin]

Update - i spoke to him last night about this issue . I had to do it very delicately.

He said that i don't know what he was like before we met and he feels overwhelmed by his own feelings and abit embarrassed but he just can't help how he feels about me.
He said for the past 10 years he has been kind of like a player, as in meeting girls who have fell for him instantly and not treating them very nicely - ie not really calling or arranging dates and breaking them at the last minute. He said he is shocked at how fast he has fallen for me and that he just doesn't want his heart broken so is always over analysing my every word.
He said he is trying at act like he don't care but its like he is waiting for a text or call or from me all the time.

He was in the car with his friend at the time - he passed the phone to him. His friend asked me what the hell i had done to him - lol - the guy is sprung good and proper over me.

I told him that the picture seems a bit clearer now and that he had nothing to worry about with me but i am taking things at a different pace from him but we will meet in the middle.

Don't know what you guys make of that - but i'm happy with it for now cus i fancy the pants off him and he treats me like a princess.

 

[Chocogurl1der]

Update - i spoke to him last night about this issue . I had to do it very delicately.

He said that i don't know what he was like before we met and he feels overwhelmed by his own feelings and abit embarrassed but he just can't help how he feels about me.
He said for the past 10 years he has been kind of like a player, as in meeting girls who have fell for him instantly and not treating them very nicely - ie not really calling or arranging dates and breaking them at the last minute. He said he is shocked at how fast he has fallen for me and that he just doesn't want his heart broken so is always over analysing my every word.
He said he is trying at act like he don't care but its like he is waiting for a text or call or from me all the time.


He was in the car with his friend at the time - he passed the phone to him. His friend asked me what the hell i had done to him - lol - the guy is sprung good and proper over me.

I told him that the picture seems a bit clearer now and that he had nothing to worry about with me but i am taking things at a different pace from him but we will meet in the middle.

Don't know what you guys make of that - but i'm happy with it for now cus i fancy the pants off him and he treats me like a princess.

I'm glad things are working out for you

 

[tocktick]

Clingy guys are NOT the business. People need to work out their self-confidence issues before they get in relationships.

co-sign to the fullest...

 

[cocoberry10]

I had to break up with him. I was trying to break up with him since month 3 and he clinged and clinged so it lasted a whole year!!! It was horrible and I will never do that again. Clingy guys are NOT the business. People need to work out their self-confidence issues before they get in relationships.

I agree with the business. I am getting my own life together (I consider myself confident, but I want to really kick it up a notch)

 

[cocoberry10]

Update - i spoke to him last night about this issue . I had to do it very delicately.

He said that i don't know what he was like before we met and he feels overwhelmed by his own feelings and abit embarrassed but he just can't help how he feels about me.
He said for the past 10 years he has been kind of like a player, as in meeting girls who have fell for him instantly and not treating them very nicely - ie not really calling or arranging dates and breaking them at the last minute. He said he is shocked at how fast he has fallen for me and that he just doesn't want his heart broken so is always over analysing my every word.
He said he is trying at act like he don't care but its like he is waiting for a text or call or from me all the time.

He was in the car with his friend at the time - he passed the phone to him. His friend asked me what the hell i had done to him - lol - the guy is sprung good and proper over me.

I told him that the picture seems a bit clearer now and that he had nothing to worry about with me but i am taking things at a different pace from him but we will meet in the middle.

Don't know what you guys make of that - but i'm happy with it for now cus i fancy the pants off him and he treats me like a princess.

Go Bubblin:notworthy

You got most women's "dream man," the reformed player. Men like this make great SO/Husbands, b/c they've had enough experience so when they do marry they won't feel like they've "missed out" (hence no need to worry about mid-life crises)

 

[crlsweetie912]

Update - i spoke to him last night about this issue . I had to do it very delicately.

He said that i don't know what he was like before we met and he feels overwhelmed by his own feelings and abit embarrassed but he just can't help how he feels about me.
He said for the past 10 years he has been kind of like a player, as in meeting girls who have fell for him instantly and not treating them very nicely - ie not really calling or arranging dates and breaking them at the last minute. He said he is shocked at how fast he has fallen for me and that he just doesn't want his heart broken so is always over analysing my every word.
He said he is trying at act like he don't care but its like he is waiting for a text or call or from me all the time.

He was in the car with his friend at the time - he passed the phone to him. His friend asked me what the hell i had done to him - lol - the guy is sprung good and proper over me.

I told him that the picture seems a bit clearer now and that he had nothing to worry about with me but i am taking things at a different pace from him but we will meet in the middle.

Don't know what you guys make of that - but i'm happy with it for now cus i fancy the pants off him and he treats me like a princess.

CONGRATS BUBLIN!
I am more excited over the fact that he was able to communicate and explain his feelings for you in that way! Sounds like you have a good one. I am sure that he will tone it down a bit cause he doesn't want a good woman to get away! Good luck!