Has anyone decided to just take themselves out of the GAME?

[fatimablush]

Ladies, don't give up hope. I was 49 when I met and married the most wonderful man ever. I wasn't looking. I was working at a local University and my girlfriend kept insisting I meet this friend of hers. I finally gave in so she would stop bugging the heck out of me each time I came to work. Well it turned out to be Mr. Wonderful Right!!

ETA. I admit when I first met him I wasn't interested because he didn't come in the package I was used to. His awesome personality, spirit, smile and how he treated me won me over. We sometimes over-look a really good man because he's not what we're "use to". I am so blessed and loved by this man; I could kick myself everytime I think that I could have lost him.

I will be so glad when this happens to me...

After i recuperate from this break up...will decide.."not to look".

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

I've decided to take myself out the game. In terms of relationships, I just don't see the potential in anyone to make the effort to start the getting to know you process all over again.

To be really blunt, aside from sex, my male best friends can be my boyfriends. If I need to talk, hang out, or just have company, they're there.

I'm just @ the point where I'm alright with being by myself. I'll get the nookie one way or another and keep it moving.

 

[username12]

nothing in life is cut or dry....thats another issue people have a hard time dealing with....everything is either this or that, black or white, perfect or imperfect, and one of the biggest issues when in relationships is people focus on them soley trying to construct the "good" mainly to avoid the "bad"....

the assholes are your biggest evolvers mainly for yourself because they are triggering all the insecurities that need to be surfaced and dealt with and turned into secure within the self issues...one won't move to levels of love they want to be at while being insecure with themself and trying to get in relationships trying desperately not to have them triggered, and when they are its the other persons fault that you have to feel all this "pain" that is projected outwards as them being the cause of it, when its really within the self and instead of dealing with the self, blame is placed outwards on others actions and behaviors.........once this is figured out things get alot easier and realization that those people are your biggest blessings...

Woooooww that was really deep and the bolded is so powerful, I totally get it now, thanks !

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

I have....

I just can't take all the statistics and bad experiences.... I'm not a twenty something so I might as well just put myself into retirement.

It is easier I think to not have certain hopes and aspirations.....


I give up.

After much thought I have decided to do the same. I know people say that I am still relatively young, but there is no real hope and this is not meant to be melodramatic. I am going to just focus on me. I work out 4-5 days week but I have no desire to lose weight and I've learned from the past that if you dont lose it for your self you will always gain it back. Its disheartening to know that for me...this is as good as it gets. Unlike a lot of women my age there was no waiting for ______(ie. finish college, get a career etc.) for me to want a solid relationship. Perhaps because the gravity of this week is weighing on me (fixing this, cooking this, cleaning that, taking my car to have this done, all of it). When you are single and doing it all alone...all the time, I think that is what hurts the most. I know a lot of people and I've been open enough to see if they could set me up and none of them offered and gave me a look. I never knew what the stare meant until someone kindly told me earlier this week (They weren't rude with it, just blunt) -- its because of my weight. The focus on weight here in Chicago is pretty heavy and being my size is not going to work out for a relationship. I went out on a first date earlier this year and he made several snide comments about my weight. Thats all people here focus on. Its not a focus of mine any more. I am overweight, but at least my weight has been steady the past 8 years, because I dont obsess over it like I did in my 20s. I wouldn't know what to do with any genuine at this point in my life anyway. Looking back on the men Ive known, they've used me just like we are being told to use men (go out with those you find less attractive to get experience or to get over a break up, until you get the one you really want....my life as the rebound...joy.). Funny, when I've finally gotten comfortable in my own skin and what I look like, its not good enough.

This long rant is to say I am done. I am tired and I give up and officially throw in the towel.

 

[YankeeCandle]

I wholeheartedly support getting or staying out of the "game" for as many years as you need to focus on yourself and on your relationships with those people who ALREADY LOVE YOU and you them. If that takes a lifetime, so be it.

As I grow older and the more I see of life, the more I realize that it is not to be wasted on foolishness and foolish people. To thine own self be true.

If continually putting yourself "in the game" or "out there" amounts to wasting yourself on foolishness and foolish men, then get thee out of the Game at once!

The many years I stayed out of the game was a blessed, invigorating, fun, emotionally happy time. I earned multiple degrees during that time, traveled, made new and dear friends, and basically gave not a damn to a thing that haters or fools had to say to me. It was a time bereft of romantic connection or partnership...but boy was it a good time to be alive and loving life!

Romantic connections are indeed a need that many (though not all) humans share.

But constantly seeking inferior connections with people who are not on your wavelength is the quickest way to sap your energy and love for life.

Get out of the Game and do not look back! Much peace to you all in your journeys.

 

[nappystorm]

Yep. I'm just focusing on me right now. I tell people "My emotional walls are comfortable right now and I will take them down when I'm ready".