Getting Shot Down by First Man I've ever approached...

[*CherryPie*]

It doesn't sound like he was interested in you like that. It sounds like he was just being friendly. Sometimes people (men and women) get that mixed up.

It seems like, once he realised you were liking him in a romatic kind of way, he started looking (staring) at you and thinking "what the heck am I gonna do now" "how am I gonna let her down easy".

I didn't read anything in the OP where he seemed interested in you.

In the future, wait for CONCRETE signals that he is interested before you start making your move(s).

 

[LadyPaniolo]

(softblackcotton) I'm sorry! Relationships are hard, man. Whatever the reason, it just didn't work out this time but it's ok. You'll have better luck next time.

 

[Embyra]

It doesn't sound like he was interested in you like that. It sounds like he was just being friendly. Sometimes people (men and women) get that mixed up.

It seems like, once he realised you were liking him in a romatic kind of way, he started looking (staring) at you and thinking "what the heck am I gonna do now" "how am I gonna let her down easy".

I didn't read anything in the OP where he seemed interested in you.

In the future, wait for CONCRETE signals that he is interested before you start making your move(s).

this is what im thinking myself at no time did he approach you......you took his staring at you to mean he was intrested he could have been staring for many reasons

you waved at him and he still didnt approach you....... he waved back out of politeness as you initiated it and then he walked away um this was your first clue

second clue was him sitting on your number for 2 weeks and not making contact

While im not against approaching a man i feel like if you smiled and waved back any man that is interested is going to jump at your friendly gesture and come to YOU

Cross him off and move on to the next

 

[MzLady78]

IMO and speaking from experience, if he was staring and didn't approach, there was probably a reason, one that you don't want anything to do with.

 

[Stch]

If a man wants you, he will approach. Despite your shyness and inexperience, you approached him because you wanted him. He would have mustered the same courage if he liked you as much as you like him. Resist the urge to project feelings based on 'evidence' as ambiguous as stares.

And relax already. Overthinking will not make him text you faster or at all.

 

[lilsparkle825]

It doesn't sound like he was interested in you like that. It sounds like he was just being friendly. Sometimes people (men and women) get that mixed up.

It seems like, once he realised you were liking him in a romatic kind of way, he started looking (staring) at you and thinking "what the heck am I gonna do now" "how am I gonna let her down easy".

I didn't read anything in the OP where he seemed interested in you.

In the future, wait for CONCRETE signals that he is interested before you start making your move(s).

Thank you.

Number one, please stop beating yourself up. He's just one guy. If you really need to make yourself feel better.....remember this: guys are like buses. If you miss one, there will be another in 15 minutes.

Number two, PLEASE stop making excuses for this guy, y'all. If he was interested, he would have made a move. You would have KNOWN he was interested, and if there was a reason he couldn't make a move, he DEFINITELY would have responded to you by now.

Number three, the staring thing kinda creeps me out. Like really.

Number four, past events are NOT an indicator of future relationships or encounters. Just because it's been 4 years since you met a guy doesn't mean it will be another 4 years. Seriously. That is intriguing, though....do you have incredibly high standards or something? (Disclaimer: I'm not saying if one of your standards is "he has to have a job" that you need to change that.... I'm just sayin', things like "I don't usually like tall guys" can knock a loooootttt of good men out of the game.) And please, go on a few dates instead of sizing every guy up for potential husband/father material *in the first 3 days*. To find the one you're going to "end up with," you usually gotta kiss a few frogs.

Number five....RELAAAAXXXX!!!! Give it a few days. Two days really isn't that long.

 

[4bslbound]

He seemed quite young to be married. Looked about 23/24. (Note: To everyone, I look much younger than 26, so he probably thought I was his age or younger) He said he was in school for engineering and was working also. At most, he probably has a serious/long-term girlfriend. I wish he didn't get my hopes up, by giving me the time of the day. There goes my confidence level for the next few years!

UGH I am going to TEAR MYSELF UP IN THE GYM TONIGHT! I need to ease my mind! I just can't man. Nothing ever works out for me relationship-wise. I give the h*** up. Thanks all you ladies for your advice. I really appreciate it. I am going to delete his number. My heart can't take anymore rejection. Direct or Indirect.

He may be in a committed relationship at least. There is no way he forgot he met you after two weeks. He was def attracted to you. Guys dont stare otherwise, I think (maybe due to age) he may be a litle too immature to say "I have an ole' lady at home"

 

[TrueToHair]

........................

 

[Lenee925]

Ok, ok. When a man is interested, he will pursue/call/stalk/whatever. Rather than trying to figure out "why, why, why" stop and move on, a business man who forgot his phone? Hmmmm. Men are not this complicated, and since he is not responding he's not worth it.

Hugs hun, 5'10? I'm drooling over your sexy height.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G

^This. He will find his balls and find a way to contact you if he really wants to. Even if he's shy, he'll force himself at some point.

Also try not to let yourself get oneitis over this guy. Or any guy really, who you don't know to be material. Try to be open to liking more than one guy every 2 years or so, which kinda sounds like me lol.

If a man wants you, he will approach. Despite your shyness and inexperience, you approached him because you wanted him. He would have mustered the same courage if he liked you as much as you like him. Resist the urge to project feelings based on 'evidence' as ambiguous as stares.

And relax already. Overthinking will not make him text you faster or at all.

I agree with this also, and I don't believe in approaching men, but I approached a guy last week just for the lulz and it was a huge success. It was like a personal challenge to cross off my list, since I'd never done it before.

This white guy was staring at me and smiling, which makes the difference. He was looking so hard I decided to suck up my pride and at least ask him if he knew me from somewhere or something. I walked over slowly and when I came up to him he was acting like a giddy schoolboy. He was cheesing said "hi.....I'm soooo glad you came over here!! You're so beautiful, sexy and outgoing that I was kinda intimidated...what's your name?.... can I buy you a drink....can I have your number....damn...you better call me!" I felt so boss by doing that. I figured the worst he could do was act uninterested but I was feeling pretty confident and didn't really care honestly lol. He called and texted me the next day already setting up plans for dinner and to meet his friends at his bbq lol.

So my point is, don't feel bad for approaching. When done correctly I think most guys will give you props for it and like it.

 

[Theo]

First of all, I don't think you did anything wrong. From what you posted, it does sound like the guy was into you.
I dunno why he hasn't responded, guys are weird like that. Also he may not be in the states yet. I've had something similar happen where I texted this guy that I have a monster crush on, to tell him that I was gonna be in town in the near future. I didn't hear from him for 2 days. Within that time, I deleted all of our previous text messages, erased his number from my phone, and blocked him from showing up on my feed on FB, and cursed myself for being so "forward". Then he hits me up on FB saying he got my msg but his phone was broke and I felt silly.

Either way, I wouldn't do anything. If he's not back, he should receive the message once he gets back into the states right? If you don't hear from him in a wk, chalk it up to game. It happens to the best of us my dear.

 

[softblackcotton]

It doesn't sound like he was interested in you like that. It sounds like he was just being friendly. Sometimes people (men and women) get that mixed up.

It seems like, once he realised you were liking him in a romatic kind of way, he started looking (staring) at you and thinking "what the heck am I gonna do now" "how am I gonna let her down easy".

I didn't read anything in the OP where he seemed interested in you.

In the future, wait for CONCRETE signals that he is interested before you start making your move(s).

I honestly don't agree with this logic based on my actual observations. I wasn't the first to approach him. He initially approached me! He chatted me up! I didn't really think much about him after the first encounter until I kept seeing him day after day. I was very non-chalant. I didn't even mention him to my friend or think about him until I saw him a couple of times after. I started to find myself attracted to him after the first few encounters. I really didn't come onto him that strongly. If he weren't attracted he didn't have to keep staring at me. There were PLENTY of beautiful women there. He didn't have to talk to me. I think you should re-read the OP.

 

[Skyfall]

look there are alot of assumptions up in this thread, which will do you no good, just try to put it out of your mind and move on. I would give him a week and if you don't hear anything then that's that. I don't see how you did anything wrong with approaching him, stop beating yourself up.

 

[softblackcotton]

^This. He will find his balls and find a way to contact you if he really wants to. Even if he's shy, he'll force himself at some point.

Also try not to let yourself get oneitis over this guy. Or any guy really, who you don't know to be material. Try to be open to liking more than one guy every 2 years or so, which kinda sounds like me lol.



I agree with this also, and I don't believe in approaching men, but I approached a guy last week just for the lulz and it was a huge success. It was like a personal challenge to cross off my list, since I'd never done it before.

This white guy was staring at me and smiling, which makes the difference. He was looking so hard I decided to suck up my pride and at least ask him if he knew me from somewhere or something. I walked over slowly and when I came up to him he was acting like a giddy schoolboy. He was cheesing said "hi.....I'm soooo glad you came over here!! You're so beautiful, sexy and outgoing that I was kinda intimidated...what's your name?.... can I buy you a drink....can I have your number....damn...you better call me!" I felt so boss by doing that. I figured the worst he could do was act uninterested but I was feeling pretty confident and didn't really care honestly lol. He called and texted me the next day already setting up plans for dinner and to meet his friends at his bbq lol.

So my point is, don't feel bad for approaching. When done correctly I think most guys will give you props for it and like it.

I'm glad you had a great experience. I just thought the guy was shy. Guess he just was't interested as hard as he looked. Maybe he was thinking "Dam* she is one of the ugliest women, I've ever seen. It's pretty amazing how ugly she looks. I have to ingrain her image in my memory so I could tell everyone back home." Oh well.

 

[softblackcotton]

this is what im thinking myself at no time did he approach you......you took his staring at you to mean he was intrested he could have been staring for many reasons

you waved at him and he still didnt approach you....... he waved back out of politeness as you initiated it and then he walked away um this was your first clue

second clue was him sitting on your number for 2 weeks and not making contact

While im not against approaching a man i feel like if you smiled and waved back any man that is interested is going to jump at your friendly gesture and come to YOU

Cross him off and move on to the next

I agree. Looking in retrospect. Unless he was insanely shy around women he is attracted to. I could understand because I am insanely shy around guys I am attracted to, much to my detriment. One correction: I am the one who has been sitting on his number and email for two weeks. He has been sitting on my text for two days, if he is even back in the States yet.

 

[softblackcotton]

Thank you.

Number one, please stop beating yourself up. He's just one guy. If you really need to make yourself feel better.....remember this: guys are like buses. If you miss one, there will be another in 15 minutes.

Number two, PLEASE stop making excuses for this guy, y'all. If he was interested, he would have made a move. You would have KNOWN he was interested, and if there was a reason he couldn't make a move, he DEFINITELY would have responded to you by now.

Number three, the staring thing kinda creeps me out. Like really.

Number four, past events are NOT an indicator of future relationships or encounters. Just because it's been 4 years since you met a guy doesn't mean it will be another 4 years. Seriously. That is intriguing, though....do you have incredibly high standards or something? (Disclaimer: I'm not saying if one of your standards is "he has to have a job" that you need to change that.... I'm just sayin', things like "I don't usually like tall guys" can knock a loooootttt of good men out of the game.) And please, go on a few dates instead of sizing every guy up for potential husband/father material *in the first 3 days*. To find the one you're going to "end up with," you usually gotta kiss a few frogs.

Number five....RELAAAAXXXX!!!! Give it a few days. Two days really isn't that long.

I've already kissed some frogs. I don't think I'm too particular. I just like what I like. The guys I've been head over heels attracted to are not Adonises, they are regular, cute attractive guys. Some of my friends have even clowned me for my tastes in men. The guy I like four years ago, they nicknamed him "Froggy" because they said he looked sort of froggish. However, I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread, they couldn't tell me anything! I am not attracted to many tall guys, but it wasn't because they were tall. I don't size every guy I meet up at for husband and father material. That is actually the furthest thing from my mind at this moment. I would like to experience my first relationship though or even have a dating life. I don't encounter many men in my daily life. I probably meet about 1 a month, if lucky. My last date was in May. My only date this year was in May. Guys do not come around like 15 minute buses in my life. Where is this bus schedule? I want to know because I keep missing that bus.

 

[SurferBabe]

I have a bad habit of giving my number to guys when they ask just out of courtesy knowing that I won't respond to their texts or answer when they call. Perhaps this guy was just being nice, but knew that he wasn't really up for meeting with someone from out of town once he returned home. It is hard for me to say "no" when someone asks. He found you very attractive, but with the distance and all (actually not sure how far you are from NYC)...it just didn't seem like something he was interested in.

 

[softblackcotton]

I have a bad habit of giving my number to guys when they ask just out of courtesy knowing that I won't respond to their texts or answer when they call. Perhaps this guy was just being nice, but knew that he wasn't really up for meeting with someone from out of town once he returned home. It is hard for me to say "no" when someone asks. He found you very attractive, but with the distance and all (actually not sure how far you are from NYC)...it just didn't seem like something he was interested in.

I do that to guys also. Taste of my own medicine. I live in Atlanta, GA and I hate it.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Often, naturally friendly people approach others and talk to them without having romance on their minds. He was just being FRIENDLY. YOU took it someplace else. You can't just read into STARES. They can mean almost anything.

What EXACTLY did he DO to make you think he wanted you romantically? I couldn't find anything in your post.

If that man wanted you, you'd KNOW it by now.

I honestly don't agree with this logic based on my actual observations. I wasn't the first to approach him. He initially approached me! He chatted me up! I didn't really think much about him after the first encounter until I kept seeing him day after day. I was very non-chalant. I didn't even mention him to my friend or think about him until I saw him a couple of times after. I started to find myself attracted to him after the first few encounters. I really didn't come onto him that strongly. If he weren't attracted he didn't have to keep staring at me. There were PLENTY of beautiful women there. He didn't have to talk to me. I think you should re-read the OP.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Often, naturally friendly people approach others and talk to them without having romance on their minds. He was just being FRIENDLY. YOU took it someplace else. You can't just read into STARES. They can mean almost anything.

What EXACTLY did he DO to make you think he wanted you romantically? I couldn't find anything in your post.

If that man wanted you, you'd KNOW it by now.

And we dont know that he didnt like her romantically. OP, people are overanalyzing and being judgemental. I dont think you did anything wrong. Some men are shy and the woman might need to make a move. Some women will, some wont.
The guy might not be back in the country yet. If he is, there could be so many reasons why he hasnt texted back. No big deal. Pick your ego back up. lol

 

[*CherryPie*]

If the guy wasn't too shy to walk up to you and chit chat it up....being FRIENDY, why in the world would he, all of a sudden, get too shy to call you on the phone. You did all of the work for him. WHY would he be scared to answer the phone?

 

[Theo]

LOL CherryPie you are really going hard about this. Why though?

 

[softblackcotton]

If the guy wasn't too shy to walk up to you and chit chat it up....being FRIENDY, why in the world would he, all of a sudden, get too shy to call you on the phone. You did all of the work for him. WHY would he be scared to answer the phone?

Honestly I don't know. I do weird things like that also when I am very attracted to a guy. I talk them up one day and then I ignore them one day. I don't know and I am starting not to care. I'm not really pressed for a man. I am comfortable being single since I've been single FOREVER. So I'm just going to delete his contact information and chalk it up as FAIL! No need to keep pouring salt in my wounds.

 

[Spiffy]

Just chalk it up to experience. I'm sure it seems like such a huge deal because you don't have a lot of dating experience, but as you gain more stuff like this won't affect you at all.

 

[*CherryPie*]

You are way off base!

I'm just responding to folks when they respond and quote me. Why do I have to be "going hard" just because you don't like/agree with what i'm saying.

I'm not invested in this. I have what I need.

I'm just responding to folks....and telling them what I believe to be true.

LOL CherryPie you are really going hard about this. Why though?

 

[unique4lyfe33]

It's only been two days for him. You made him wait two weeks for you, just have a little more patience. It could be a lot of things, give it some time.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Nobody's pouring salt on your wounds. And I don't want you to stop dating or be single for ever. I just want you to not read things that's not there, then wonder why he didn't call.

You don't have to do all of that to get a man. Just be yourself. Sometimes you can scare men off by doing all of that. If you have to work that hard, he ain't the one.

Keep your head up! You don't have to accept my response. But listen to it. If you still believe what you're doing is working for you, then keep doing that.

Honestly I don't know. I do weird things like that also when I am very attracted to a guy. I talk them up one day and then I ignore them one day. I don't know and I am starting not to care. I'm not really pressed for a man. I am comfortable being single since I've been single FOREVER. So I'm just going to delete his contact information and chalk it up as FAIL! No need to keep pouring salt in my wounds.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Honestly I don't know. I do weird things like that also when I am very attracted to a guy. I talk them up one day and then I ignore them one day. I don't know and I am starting not to care. I'm not really pressed for a man. I am comfortable being single since I've been single FOREVER. So I'm just going to delete his contact information and chalk it up as FAIL! No need to keep pouring salt in my wounds.

Omg! I totally do this. I didn't know other people did this. Okay, now that I think about it, it's not that unique, I guess. Carry on

Also, OP, I just want to say that I don't think this should discourage you. Whether you continue to approach guys or not is up to you but don't take this as a negative reflection on you. It could be anything.

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Ehhh.. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just dust yourself off & try again. If he never calls...oh well! His loss. You never know who you may meet in the near future.

IMO I wouldn't do that backward walking "accidentally" tripping ish again.

I'm married so I don't know if my opinion counts lol.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using SPH-D700

 

[Lenee925]

I'm glad you had a great experience. I just thought the guy was shy. Guess he just was't interested as hard as he looked. Maybe he was thinking "Dam* she is one of the ugliest women, I've ever seen. It's pretty amazing how ugly she looks. I have to ingrain her image in my memory so I could tell everyone back home." Oh well.

Haha yeah, he was feeling himself so much he tried to kiss me lol! Talkin' bout he's shy

Ok, do me a favor and don't ever, EVER think that way again!!! I know you are kidding but even if I am delusional it's always the guy's problem not mine haha...However in your case I doubt you are and he's probably just attached to someone, or just a wasteman. Either way next him

 

[Embyra]

I agree. Looking in retrospect. Unless he was insanely shy around women he is attracted to. I could understand because I am insanely shy around guys I am attracted to, much to my detriment. One correction: I am the one who has been sitting on his number and email for two weeks. He has been sitting on my text for two days, if he is even back in the States yet.

whoops sorry so he didnt get your number my bad i thought you both exchanged its been a long day sorry again