Edited my original reply with:
- No coming over uninvited
- No lingering in the morning if you do spend the night
Friends With Benefits
- Thread starter syze6
- Start date
Edited my original reply with:
Maybe someone else can answer this one because in the past mine have been men I've friend zoned. We were usually just friends then one day...you know the rest.
I have never met a FB online but I know it happens very easily and often.
I have been married for so long, I pretty much have to look at the men I already know. i.e friends that I know have been interested but respected me and my marriage. I actually broached the subject with a potential this past weekend and chickened out. He seemed extremely interested, but when he asked what I wanted, my heart started beating so fast I told him I was too drunk and we would talk later. I got out of his car so fast! It was awkward for me but he did text me afterwards wanting to know when we speak further. My only response was, soon.
jerseyhaircare
Well-Known Member
Usually, I would chose an ex because you know you have good chemistry, but also know there is no desire to return to a relationship status.
Damaris.Elle
Well-Known Member
Well, the situation in the OP is not a FWB situation 
but my f-buddy/ FWB rules are:
-Absolutely NO spending the night with each other. I don't spend the night at his place, he doesn't spend the night at mine. We have sex, then go our own separate ways no matter how late it is...this helps to make the time we spend together only about sex. Not too much cuddling or 'falling asleep in each other's arms'. In my opinion, spending the night (and smelling each other's morning breath) is a little too intimate for a f-buddy or FWB situation...it's only for people I'm in a committed relationship with.
-No calling or texting just to 'talk'. Whenever I call or text, of course I make small-talk, but I quickly get to the main point of my call/text...setting up a time to get the D.
-No showing up unannounced.
-No asking them to accompany you as your 'date' to any events or going with them to an event as their 'date'.
-The f-buddy/FWB can't be my only source of male attention or the only one on my roster. Meaning, while I have a f-buddy/FWB I have to also be seeing/talking to/dating at least one other man. This makes it a lot easier to stay detached and makes it so not all my attention is on the FWB situation because the relationship is not meant for that.
I know some people make a distinction between an 'f-buddy' and a 'FWB' and will say that my rules are more fitting for an f-buddy because I don't really make an effort to create a 'friendship'. But in my experience, it's pretty much impossible for me to both have sex and create/keep a 'friendship' without lines getting kinda blurred and conflicts happening because of some type of feelings developing. When I keep it only centered around sex and have other men I'm talking to, things are great.
I think it has to do with how you conduct yourself during the first couple of times you meet. Basically it seems like a good amount of the things I've read in dating blogs and books about 'how to act on a first date if you want a relationship' can be disregarded...not EVERYTHING, but a lot of it. If you want a FWB, you can talk about sex early on...like if he somehow steers the convo in a kind of sexual direction, just go with it. I basically just do what I want, act super flirty and find excuses to touch him when we're first spending time together.
but my f-buddy/ FWB rules are:-Absolutely NO spending the night with each other. I don't spend the night at his place, he doesn't spend the night at mine. We have sex, then go our own separate ways no matter how late it is...this helps to make the time we spend together only about sex. Not too much cuddling or 'falling asleep in each other's arms'. In my opinion, spending the night (and smelling each other's morning breath) is a little too intimate for a f-buddy or FWB situation...it's only for people I'm in a committed relationship with.
-No calling or texting just to 'talk'. Whenever I call or text, of course I make small-talk, but I quickly get to the main point of my call/text...setting up a time to get the D.
-No showing up unannounced.
-No asking them to accompany you as your 'date' to any events or going with them to an event as their 'date'.
-The f-buddy/FWB can't be my only source of male attention or the only one on my roster. Meaning, while I have a f-buddy/FWB I have to also be seeing/talking to/dating at least one other man. This makes it a lot easier to stay detached and makes it so not all my attention is on the FWB situation because the relationship is not meant for that.
I know some people make a distinction between an 'f-buddy' and a 'FWB' and will say that my rules are more fitting for an f-buddy because I don't really make an effort to create a 'friendship'. But in my experience, it's pretty much impossible for me to both have sex and create/keep a 'friendship' without lines getting kinda blurred and conflicts happening because of some type of feelings developing. When I keep it only centered around sex and have other men I'm talking to, things are great.
I think it has to do with how you conduct yourself during the first couple of times you meet. Basically it seems like a good amount of the things I've read in dating blogs and books about 'how to act on a first date if you want a relationship' can be disregarded...not EVERYTHING, but a lot of it. If you want a FWB, you can talk about sex early on...like if he somehow steers the convo in a kind of sexual direction, just go with it. I basically just do what I want, act super flirty and find excuses to touch him when we're first spending time together.
jeanghrey
Well-Known Member
Well, the situation in the OP is not a FWB situation
-Absolutely NO spending the night with each other. I don't spend the night at his place, he doesn't spend the night at mine. We have sex, then go our own separate ways no matter how late it is...this helps to make the time we spend together only about sex. Not too much cuddling or 'falling asleep in each other's arms'. In my opinion, spending the night (and smelling each other's morning breath) is a little too intimate for a f-buddy or FWB situation...it's only for people I'm in a committed relationship with.
-No calling or texting just to 'talk'. Whenever I call or text, of course I make small-talk, but I quickly get to the main point of my call/text...setting up a time to get the D.
-No showing up unannounced.
-No asking them to accompany you as your 'date' to any events or going with them to an event as their 'date'.
-The f-buddy/FWB can't be my only source of male attention or the only one on my roster. Meaning, while I have a f-buddy/FWB I have to also be seeing/talking to/dating at least one other man. This makes it a lot easier to stay detached and makes it so not all my attention is on the FWB situation because the relationship is not meant for that.
I know some people make a distinction between an 'f-buddy' and a 'FWB' and will say that my rules are more fitting for an f-buddy because I don't really make an effort to create a 'friendship'. But in my experience, it's pretty much impossible for me to both have sex and create/keep a 'friendship' without lines getting kinda blurred and conflicts happening because of some type of feelings developing. When I keep it only centered around sex and have other men I'm talking to, things are great.
I think it has to do with how you conduct yourself during the first couple of times you meet. Basically it seems like a good amount of the things I've read in dating blogs and books about 'how to act on a first date if you want a relationship' can be disregarded...not EVERYTHING, but a lot of it. If you want a FWB, you can talk about sex early on...like if he somehow steers the convo in a kind of sexual direction, just go with it. I basically just do what I want, act super flirty and find excuses to touch him when we're first spending time together.
Girl you need to do a Master class lol
Damaris.Elle
Well-Known Member
Similar threads
