erplexedMy gf called me frantic and the first thing she said was "Did ____ ever try and hit on you back in the day" I was like ooo, yuck no. Literally her dh is like a brother to me. Her now dh and a few us were all and still are good friends in college and have been for years. Now 13 years later, one of our friends has "confessed" that our gf's dh tried to have sex with her!
My gf was basically telling our other gf about some issues that she and her dh were having (bad move I know) she said then our gf was listening, commenting then just blurted out....."Yeah he's just a dog, blah, blah... I know this probably isn't the right time to tell you this but....."
erplexedYeah uh...
ok. She went on to say that when we were all in college, she saw the then boyfriend at a party. A party that me nor my gf went to that night because we were studying (had hard majors) she went with another girl that was a loose acquintance of all of us. She said that they chatted, hung out a little (which would not be out of the norm if we saw your homegirls man out) etc and that the acquiantance left her to hook up with another dude and said "just ask __ to give you a ride" SO he's standing there and he's like "oh yeah, no problem". This is to me where it gets shady.....or rather VAGUE.....she said that "they were sitting on the sofa talking and he (drunk) basically started coming on to her and got his pants un-buttoned and almost down" She said she just kept telling him no, that this is not right because of her friendship with our gf. She said he finally was like ok cool and left. My gf said that's all the specifics she got and she was too shocked to really ask anymore. She also said our gf was like "I just don't even want to get into because the whole thing is just messy" So that's all she said and I'm typing that verbatim. I wanted to call her up and drill her but I digress....
We were all in each other's weddings, when this gf got divorced, my gf's dh and my dh were all trying to set her up with new guys, visited all of at different times, alone with her kids, etc. We've all remained friends but now this, and why now?
I hate to say it but it backs up my belief that some women are just down right shady. I believe it happened, I do...I really do. BUT, I also think there is a very gray area between leaving this party and he jsut "all of a sudden came on to her" She also said she never brought it up again and he never said anything about it and she said she believes he probably doesn't even remember it. Also, most guys would have tried to put salt on the other girl to prevent any "telling" on the get-go, but this has never been the case. He even intervened when these two had a small falling out years ago, he was like "you knwo what, ya'll been friends for years, you need work that out" If he had this major secret, he would want her to have gone away years ago.
My question is why tell her now if this is in fact true? Why not have said something to her then? Gees, let her get married, help throw her a shower, but you're saying that he tried to turn you into a bootycall at 3am? And really what was your role? Why did you let him in, y'all sit around and "talk" at 3am? That to me is telling, he woulda let me out the car, I would have gone inside and said HOLLA. Men go by cues, if you gave them the cue that it was all good, then it was all good.....he had to have thought that he could try this. But she is almost making it sound like some type of attempted rape or something.
Well the issue now is, my gf is like does it matter now? Do I ask him, and of course, he will lie, if it is true and if not, do you lose a friend over some crap from 15 years ago when IMO I think both parties are at fault. I just think the whole thing is shady. I'm VERY shocked because as I said, we've all been very close over the years.
Advice?!!
The friend should have never brought that up.
