For men, it sexually pays to be a loser?

[anon123]

Well, it all depends on what you think it means to win and lose, both in sex and in the rest of life. But I always objected to bf when he said losers get a lot of play from women, even from some women who should be out of their league. I feel like I rarely see that, but maybe it's because of who I'm around? This interview with the authors of "Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying" say these "sub-optimal" men are getting more sexual partners than those who are college-educated and gainfully employed.

Where they talk about the cost of sex:

So how do we measure how people price this? A couple different ways: First, the time until they have sex in a relationship. A second measure is the number of sex partners that "sub-optimal men" have had. I define that group as men who are 22 years old, dropped out of high school and don't have a full-time job -- men who don't have a lot going for them. We compare the number of partners they've had with the number of partners of a male college graduate who is employed full-time. Theoretically, if sex is valuable to her then she's not going to trade it away to just some crummy man, and when we look at the data, we find that those sub-optimal men report a lot more partners than men who actually have a lot going for them.

I have thoughts on this, but I'll leave it open to you guys first.
The source: The sexual cost of female success - Sex News, Sex Talk - Salon.com

 

[Skyfall]

Because the ones that have stuff going on, dont have time to be hitting on dodos on myspace all day.

 

[FlowerHair]

Quality men have to be pickier, because they want to position their offspring to a better life.

I think this corresponds to most women as well. Quality women can be "hard to get" because their eggs are golden, so to speak. They will put a lot of effort into the children they have and go through a lot to find the right father for them.

However, there are some women who have some fun in their younger days with the sub-optimal men before they start getting serious about life...

Perhaps the ratio men/women in the population play a big role too.

 

[Kurlee]

maybe the men just lie

 

[Pat Mahurr]

What FlowerHair said. The article presumes that quantity of partners is more important than quality, and that's only true if you are a loser.

 

[*CherryPie*]

We give men too much credit on this board. lol

Most men lie about how many sex partners they have. So why is this study credible?

 

[antisocial]

I have been saying this for years

Men who are "losers" are usually better in bed. I think educated or "non-loser" men may not get the same quantity of sexual partners because women are on their p's & q's when it comes to a man who is considered "marriage material". Nobody expects to be courted by a man whose unemployed. He's only good for the crayon

 

[anon123]

What FlowerHair said. The article presumes that quantity of partners is more important than quality, and that's only true if you are a loser.

Yeah, I think this is really it. So, okay, losers as a group are more promiscuous. Not too surprising. I don't even think you can conclude that men who have more going for them can't get more women. Maybe they just aren't as driven to h0 around to the same extent as the others. Or maybe like someone else suggested, losers lie about their sexual conquests more.

Bf remains convinced that losers are getting pretty decent girls. And it's not that guys who have something going for them go without (which, I think, is really the critical point). I always point this out and grudgingly admits that's mostly not the case. It's just like he feels losers shouldn't get any girls, especially not ones that are "good" in any way, whether that way be good looks, a good job, etc. Oh well, perhaps we will never agree . . .

 

[afrofaithful]

I have a few thoughts on this. A loser gets more play from women because hes not the one shes trying to marry or be with, so honestly does she really care what he cares? If your trying to marry someone or looking at them as a potential mate, you want their utmost respect and you want to make sure everything is right. Not saying its okay to go degrade yourself with pookie. But honestly who cares what he thinks, you want mr right to think the world of you.