Sexually Active Christian Singles

[Makenzie]

I married at 26 and both me and husband were virgins. We are now divorced and I stepped away from my religion for a while. However, I am repairing my relationship with my Creator and am celibate till I re-marry. If I do.

My brother was 29 and a virgin when he married his wife, who was 25 and a virgin.

Her brother and sister where virgins who married other virgins.

I can actually go on and on listing people I personally know that are virgins marrying other virgins, and other people that are celibate until they are married.

It's not uncommon. However, it must be a determination of yours. And it definitely helps to have close associates who are of the same mind set.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I married at 26 and both me and husband were virgins. We are now divorced and I stepped away from my religion for a while. However, I am repairing my relationship with my Creator and am celibate till I re-marry. If I do.

My brother was 29 and a virgin when he married his wife, who was 25 and a virgin.

Her brother and sister where virgins who married other virgins.

I can actually go on and on listing people I personally know that are virgins marrying other virgins, and other people that are celibate until they are married.

It's not uncommon. However, it must be a determination of yours. And it definitely helps to have close associates who are of the same mind set.

Exactly @ the bolded.

And thanks for sharing your experience.

 

[DaughterOfZion1]

I am 20 my 2 other best friends are 20 and we are virgins.. and staying that way till marriage. Its easy with a network like that. We are all on fire for God so we do not in any way want to hurt Him by doing something that he speaks against soo much. God really holds sex dear to His heart because it is a gift that He made especially for the two people He put together for life.

It is totally doable. Me and my girls do not listen to secular music. It helps when your not feeding your spirit and flesh, I effed that girl and effed this girl and what not...and we dont watch sex scenes...cuz our spirit really cant take it anymore..lol...when you grow in Christ you dont even want to watch certain things, listen to certain things...my mentor at church, she is 27 getting married in august and is a virgin. my virginity is a gift only the flesh of my flesh deserves.

 

[SugarBaby]

Hmmm, This has been eye opening. I have never heard of so many virgins before marriage. Guess that shows who my friends are....

I appreciate hearing all the opinions.

 

[LiberianGirl]

Great thread. I am also celibate.

 

[MissNina]

It's really not difficult to be abstinent. I am and most of my friends are. The one who isn't is also struggling with her faith right now. It's easy to not have sex when you don't put yourself in the position for it to happen. Sex has serious physical, emotionally and spiritual ramifications. God's word is living and breathing but from the old covenant to the new covenant He remains consistent about fornication.

I think it depends on what type of Christian you are. And of course I don't mean that by literal definition, but by beliefs. Some Christians don't believe they should or are really saved if they go to certain places, be friends with certain ppl who live "in the world" or watch/listen to certain things. If you are trying to go the abstinent route, I think that would be the easy way to go.

I think it would harder if you're a more. . .I don't want to give labels or offend anyone, but, for argument sake, let's say progressive or modernized Christian that doesn't believe you have to do all those things. I believe then it can be extreeeeeemely hard and difficult. And it's harder either way when you're with someone who isn't as deep into religion as you are.

And, I personally feel there is a huge difference in difficulty between someone abstaining from sex (who has had it before) and someone being a virgin. If you're abstaining from sex, more times than not, you (general) have had some negative experience in some kind of sexual relationship with someone that probably made you want to stop. Maybe it was hurtful enough that it made you realize the importance of sex and turn your life completely back to God. I hear this very often in church. However, with virginity, you don't have that negative experience to equate out your decision therefore I think it can be a more difficult struggle for that person a lot of times. Does that make sense?

Not saying that either of them should be applauded more than the other, but I think there is a difference that should be taken into consideration when thinking about the OP's question.

I'm abstaining and I feel lots of pressure. I have felt the pressure since high school. I went to an HBCU for college so I had a very large dating pool and trust, there was pressure all around. I've never met anyone who said abstaining was easy, especially if they are young and experiencing the fight right now. I almost wanna get offended by the statement, but I'm not lol.

I have heard ALL KINDS of nonsense from many different kinds of men. Its almost funny to me now, but really, its a frustrating situation to be in, for anyone.

I am close with many women who are abstaining... some were formerly sexually active some weren't. Some have never even kissed a guy, some have done pretty much anything but. I have respect for all of them. I think that if you have really experienced how difficult it can be, its hard for you to judge anyone, because I know personally, the only way I could have made it this far is by grace. And I don't even think I've done all that well really. I also don't think that not having had sex makes it any easier or more difficult to abstain, however I do sometimes get the sense that sometimes those who have led promiscuous lives prior but now choose to abstain overcompensate because they feel like they have something to prove. I've seen it happen a lot.

It gets on my nerves sometimes when older people tell younger people to do something that they themselves were unable to do, but I understand the reason why they do it. I'm a pastor's daughter, so I'm under a lot of pressure to uphold the standard, be a good role model yada yada. It's difficult. But that's a looooong story for another day.

I sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo agree with this post and the way you worded your views! I'm also a PK so, trust me, I soooooooooo feel you Definitely a very long story.

 

[MissNina]

I have a lot of questions on this based upon some of the posts in another thread plus my discussion with my niece in her 20s who is a Christian and still a virgin. Most of the single Christian men she meets are sexually active and can't believe she is not. Very hard for her.

Is this notion contradictory? Under what circumstances is it acceptable (to you) to engage in premarital sex? Do you consider it a sin? Is abstinance too lofty a goal in 2009?

Let's discuss.

Sorry, I forgot to answer your questions! This is such a deep topic.

The notion is contradictory just b/c it goes against The Bible. Pre-marital sex is a sin b/c The Bible says not to do it. However, I find sexual sin no different than other sins in which we should try to abstain from and not commit, but sometimes life happens. And the thing about sex is, it is such a highly personal thing b/w you, God and the person you're with, I don't really think church or any other outside opinions should really come into play. And I have what some ppl would call conflicting views on this subject. I'm fine with that.

I feel that abstinence, in society but most definitely in the church, is such a heavy burden placed on women while men are more easily allowed to engage in such behavior even when subject to the same teachings.

I know of a woman at a friend's church who is 45 yrs old and still a virgin b/c she has never been married. First off, at 45 y/o, her dating pool is very limited to begin with. Then, on top of that, most men she meets have been married and divorced. And although these men are in the church, a lot of them don't really have interest in dating someone without the possibility of sex. They respect her decision but no longer pursue out of not wanting to pressure her or making a bad situation. And then, according to her, the V E R Y few ones that are left, are just not her type or it hasn't worked out for one reason or another.

I feel horrible for her, but at the same time, at what point does reality intersect with religion? It's like she's gotten to the point that it's not even about her at all. This woman is so lonely. We can say "turn to God" all day and all night, and that's great. Wonderful. I believe that. But being unmarried and a virgin for 45 yrs. . .IDK if that advice would have the same affect on me as it did when I was in my 20s. And that is just being honest.

This whole idea of virginity, like other things, can be a set up if taken too far either way. I believe a relationship with God, not necessarily The Bible alone, is the only thing that can guide you on what's right for you in that situation. You live your life and have to make decisions based on a combination of things. . .hopefully with God's will at the forefront of your mind.

It's not impossible in 2009. But the older she gets, the harder it will be. She definitely WILL eventually find someone. If that's truly what she feels she needs to do with her life b/c of the Word AND her heart, then she shouldn't turn that for anyone/thing!!!

 

[Ramya]

I think it depends on what type of Christian you are. And of course I don't mean that by literal definition, but by beliefs. Some Christians don't believe they should or are really saved if they go to certain places, be friends with certain ppl who live "in the world" or watch/listen to certain things. If you are trying to go the abstinent route, I think that would be the easy way to go.

I think it would harder if you're a more. . .I don't want to give labels or offend anyone, but, for argument sake, let's say progressive or modernized Christian that doesn't believe you have to do all those things. I believe then it can be extreeeeeemely hard and difficult. And it's harder either way when you're with someone who isn't as deep into religion as you are.

And, I personally feel there is a huge difference in difficulty between someone abstaining from sex (who has had it before) and someone being a virgin. If you're abstaining from sex, more times than not, you (general) have had some negative experience in some kind of sexual relationship with someone that probably made you want to stop. Maybe it was hurtful enough that it made you realize the importance of sex and turn your life completely back to God. I hear this very often in church. However, with virginity, you don't have that negative experience to equate out your decision therefore I think it can be a more difficult struggle for that person a lot of times. Does that make sense?

Not saying that either of them should be applauded more than the other, but I think there is a difference that should be taken into consideration when thinking about the OP's question.

When you give your life to Christ you renounce the world. You are no longer apart of the world but are apart of the kingdom. you can't keep one foot in the world and one foot in the kingdom and say that Jesus is Lord. The bible is clear that we are to renew our minds and come OUT of the world.

As far as dating someone who doesn't have a serious relationship with Christ, well the bible says to not be unevenly yoked.

For some there may have been a negative experience. I never had a negative experience. I loved me some sex. But I made the decision to abstain once I gave my life to Christ. There's no wiggle room in the instruction manual. It's very clear on this topic.

There is no other way to interpret the scriptures concerning fornication. I don't get why this is such a hot topic. Oh and the reason it's between God and the two people is because when you have sex with someone you are sealing yourself to them with God as your witness. Just because you break up, move on and marry someone else doesn't mean that the bond is broken between you and that last guy. You are carrying all of those covenants you made into every relationship you have.

 

[Shimmie]

I think it's a shame, that men who call themselves Christians are actually behaving as wolves seeking to devour whoever they can by way of sex.

They are supposed to leave that 'life' behind and live honorably. How different are they from the world? They're not. They just simply stole a 'Jesus Pass', to get into Church and steal a precious maidens

They're no different than these two fools: (I Samuel 2)

22 -- Now ELI was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

23 -- And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people.

True men of God are not like Ely's sons, Hophni and Phinehas who blatantly defiled the Temple of God with their sexual exploits.

Sex is a very intimate, private, tender, and sacred expression of love between a man and a woman as husband and wife. It's not a game. Keep the games out of the Church, along with all of the diseases and heartaches that come with it.

It should never be said that the Church is filled with 'Baby Daddies' and Baby Mama's and still no committment of marriage. Keep that mess out of the Church. We have real men and women who DO serve the Lord and love Him and Honor Him. They get married and do so honorably.

No Wed - No Bed ...... No Contract - No Contact

That's it! Period!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

@ Shimmie Right on to your post! If those men exist, I'm praying to come across one. Unfortunately my last two experiences with Christian men who attend church regularly has made me feel I have to be as much on guard with men in church as I had to be in the club. It almost seems as if alot of men are motivated to go to church and motivated to be involved in the church solely to prey on the women. Some of them have very bad pre-conceived notions of women who go to church.

 

[MissNina]

As far as dating someone who doesn't have a serious relationship with Christ, well the bible says to not be unevenly yoked.

There is no other way to interpret the scriptures concerning fornication. I don't get why this is such a hot topic. Oh and the reason it's between God and the two people is because when you have sex with someone you are sealing yourself to them with God as your witness. Just because you break up, move on and marry someone else doesn't mean that the bond is broken between you and that last guy. You are carrying all of those covenants you made into every relationship you have.

I agree with this part. Pre-marital sex is a sin and highly deep personal matter. Honestly, if you are a sexually active Christian and don't feel any guilt or remorse, I think that speaks more than actually falling into that temptation.

I don't want to get into a spiritual debate, but the reason why it is such a hot topic is b/c Christianity itself is a very hot topic based on the questionability of it's foundation. I truly don't wanna go there though. I make a dedicated effort to follow Jesus' instructions, so that's not my main point. In fact, I don't know too many religions outside of Christianity that approve of pre-martial sex either. I just don't believe there is one sin greater than nor less than the other if you have knowledge that it is wrong - Catholicism calls it mortal and venial sin.

Sometimes ppl have tendencies to treat certain sins as if they deserve more attention than the others. I know ppl that abstain from sex and alcohol, but commit sins on a daily basis that they know are wrong but have yet to conquer spiritually. IMO, this person is absolutely, in no way different than a sexually active Christian. Jesus condemned a man even LOOKING at a woman lustfully. We all fall short. I really feel like it's a progress.

I definitely applaud/respect your decision as a part of your personal conviction. I think it's really cool that you made that decision based purely off of your personal relationship with/love of God and not outside factors

 

[aribell]

After hearing about all these "wolves" in sheep's clothing in the church, I have to say that if you're in a church where the men will only date you if you sleep with them, or if most of them are living that lifestyle themselves (which of course, then, includes the women since it takes two), then you really should look for another church home. There will be sinners everywhere (including ourselves), but there is a difference between people who fall and get back up (you know the song, lol), and those who actively choose to do what they want to do, and have the nerve to expect you to do the same.

Find a church where the people are obedient and faithful, and that itself will help a lot. So instead of being tempted by your own "brothers," you can be encouraged to do what is right. Look at the fruit of the lives of the people in that place and see if it relfects God's ways, and if it doesn't then find a church where it does.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

In my case, these men do not go to my church. There are no dateable men in my church. They are all married.

Furthermore, I go to church with the purpose of being spiritually fed, not to man scout. Jumping from church to church to evaluate if there are obedient & faithful and dateable men is kinda...No, I'm not doing it!..LOL Outside of fellowship between my church and other churches or visiting my friends church with her on a Sunday once in a while is about all the exposure I have to other churches.

I'm sure there are obedient/faithful men in the church somewhere but I'm not going on a wild goose chase for one.

These men go to two totally different churches in two totally different cities and to see them in church one might speculate they are obedient & faithful. Not so, in those cases.

After hearing about all these "wolves" in sheep's clothing in the church, I have to say that if you're in a church where the men will only date you if you sleep with them, or if most of them are living that lifestyle themselves (which of course, then, includes the women since it takes two), then you really should look for another church home. There will be sinners everywhere (including ourselves), but there is a difference between people who fall and get back up (you know the song, lol), and those who actively choose to do what they want to do, and have the nerve to expect you to do the same.

Find a church where the people are obedient and faithful, and that itself will help a lot. So instead of being tempted by your own "brothers," you can be encouraged to do what is right. Look at the fruit of the lives of the people in that place and see if it relfects God's ways, and if it doesn't then find a church where it does.

 

[*~*Afrolicious*~*]

The question was asked in the other thread about whether or not God could bless a union if the couple had pre-marital sex. IMO, it is still possible for God to bless your union if at some point you repent and ask forgiveness with sincerity. More importantly though, we should not be looking for loop holes or justifications to actively do wrong. Especially pre-meditating wrong doing. It corrupts the mind. Sins that we commit separate us from God and that is never a good thing.

This is something I've never understood. I use to have lengthy discussions about pre-mediation with my priest during MANY Sunday school lessons lol. Why is it bad to think about sex if your thoughts never cause you to have pre-martial sex?

 

[aribell]

I don't think I read your post in particular. But yeah, the point wasn't to go looking for eligible men, it was just that various posts have mentioned men pressuring/expecting sex who are members of the congregation, and my point was that if that's the case in a church, there's something spiritually wrong there. Not because there's no one to date, but because the people aren't being faithful to Christ. No one should be being tempted by fellow members of their congregation.

Oh, and if I meet someone outside of the church, to me the words "I'm a Christian" or even, "I go to church," don't hold much weight at all. I wouldn't necessarily believe that a man walked with God just because he told me that. Unless people are putting up a really good front, I think most of the time we can know what they're about by their conversation, activities, friends, etc.

In my case, these men do not go to my church. There are no dateable men in my church. They are all married.

Furthermore, I go to church with the purpose of being spiritually fed, not to man scout. Jumping from church to church to evaluate if there are obedient & faithful and dateable men is kinda...No, I'm not doing it!..LOL Outside of fellowship between my church and other churches or visiting my friends church with her on a Sunday once in a while is about all the exposure I have to other churches.

I'm sure there are obedient/faithful men in the church somewhere but I'm not going on a wild goose chase for one.

These men go to two totally different churches in two totally different cities and to see them in church one might speculate they are obedient & faithful. Not so, in those cases.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Yet and still..if you know of a church where ALL the men are righteous and obedient on this subject. Please post the address and their service and meeting schedules. Because I for one, do not believe a church like this exists. You will have to weed through the men, just like any other congregated atmosphere.

I don't think I read your post in particular. But yeah, the point wasn't to go looking for eligible men, it was just that various posts have mentioned men pressuring/expecting sex who are members of the congregation, and my point was that if that's the case in a church, there's something spiritually wrong there. Not because there's no one to date, but because the people aren't being faithful to Christ. No one should be being tempted by fellow members of their congregation.

Oh, and if I meet someone outside of the church, to me the words "I'm a Christian" or even, "I go to church," don't hold much weight at all. I wouldn't necessarily believe that a man walked with God just because he told me that. Unless people are putting up a really good front, I think most of the time we can know what they're about by their conversation, activities, friends, etc.

 

[mrsmeredith]

true enough. what I meant by sins being equal is it doesn’t matter if a person commits one small sin or several huge ones. The result is the same, the person is guilty of breaking God’s law.

The results are not the same especially sins against the body. Yes they may all be sins but no they are not the same punishment

 

[biancaelyse]

I think that the pastor has much to do with the culture and the "tone" of the church. You'll find people having unmarried sex in most congregations but I would prefer to be under the leadership of a pastor who doesn't send out a mixed message, one for the women and one for the men. Wrong is wrong for both. Or know that members are living together and not say anything about it.

A good pastor and therefore a good church is where they call it out and don't turn a blind eye to this or any other sin being done openly.

 

[aribell]

Yet and still..if you know of a church where ALL the men are righteous and obedient on this subject. Please post the address and their service and meeting schedules. Because I for one, do not believe a church like this exists. You will have to weed through the men, just like any other congregated atmosphere.

I don't think the bolded was implied. If it was, that was me being unclear in communicating the point. Again, the point wasn't about finding suitable men, it was about the culture of the congregation overall.

 

[aribell]

I think that the pastor has much to do with the culture and the "tone" of the church. You'll find people having unmarried sex in most congregations but I would prefer to be under the leadership of a pastor who doesn't send out a mixed message, one for the women and one for the men. Wrong is wrong for both. Or know that members are living together and not say anything about it.

A good pastor and therefore a good church is where they call it out and don't turn a blind eye to this or any other sin being done openly.

ITA. It's not that popular in most churches, but there are places that do take church discipline very seriously, so that when it becomes known that such and such is going on (sexual or not), those in leadership address it with the individuals and sometimes even with the congregations as a whole. I've been in a young singles group that had to do some serious "house cleaning," but I'm glad that the pastors actually took time to do it.

 

[biancaelyse]

This is something I've never understood. I use to have lengthy discussions about pre-mediation with my priest during MANY Sunday school lessons lol. Why is it bad to think about sex if your thoughts never cause you to have pre-martial sex?

Let me clarify. When I say "premeditated" I am referring to Christians who say and believe that they'd never marry a man without having sex with him 1st. That to me is actively planning to do wrong when the bible clearly says we are not supposed to.

If you truly believe that this man is the person that God has chosen for you, do you really need to test him in bed?? Suppose he fails the sex test - does that mean that God made a mistake and now you don't want to marry him?? If he passes, then you are ready to become celibate until the ceremony? I've never understood that rationale.

IMO, going down that path is just causing you to do things that compromise your faith and your Christian walk.

 

[fmnnity]

I apologize if this has been discussed as I didn't read the entire thread but I've often wondered what if you are a Christian and you don't plan to marry? I guess then you are just denied one of God's greatest gifts . . . sex.

 

[rara171]

I am personally a Christian virgin.
That is my personal choice with my walk with God.

Just because I am a virgin doesn't mean I don't sin in some type of form or fashion.
For those who have issues with those who do have sex while claiming to be Christian, shouldn't cast judgment.

Christian is not synonymous with "perfect".
and for those who claim it is should re-evaluate the term "human"

 

[LadieCrn]

The results are not the same especially sins against the body. Yes they may all be sins but no they are not the same punishment

What is the punishment for premarital sex? Damnation?

Like I posted before, each of us knows our personal relationship with God. It would serve us all best if we worried about our own relationships with God, instead of looking to point out what others are doing.

 

[MissNina]

What is the punishment for premarital sex? Damnation?

Like I posted before, each of us knows our personal relationship with God. It would serve us all best if we worried about our own relationships with God, instead of looking to point out what others are doing.

I can only thank you once!

 

[1Aleeesha]

It is contradictory. It just that our society has made it "okay." People in their minds have a hierachy of sins, and many have made premarital sex equivalent to a white lie.

Abstinence is difficult in 2009 but not impossible. The problem is social and cultural pressure. Everything screams sex. When I was a teen, on teen TV shows it was a big deal to have sex. I look at teen shows today and it is the norm - people sleeping around, mothers and daughters having sex with the same guy...whatever happened to just making out? lol.

I say, it is best for couples to stay as hands off as they possibly can. If not till marriage, at least the point of being engaged - just to keep clarity about who they are dating, how they really feel about each other without sex and consequences muddling everything up.

It is also very important to stay true to one's personal beliefs. Your niece shouldn't compromise her beliefs because she will lose respect for the man, and loose a piece of herself (in terms of her principles, I don't think being a non-virgin makes her less of a person).

I agree... Encourage her abstinence... When a person is so "conscious" about their beliefs and if they "slip up" it will effect them a lot different than someone who is "unconscious" about fornication being a sin. She can do it, it is possible and she should surround herself with other people who feel the same exact way about it that she does so she doesn't feel "pressure" to get busy - even the men. I believe there are still people out there who are "conscious."

 

[Ramya]

I apologize if this has been discussed as I didn't read the entire thread but I've often wondered what if you are a Christian and you don't plan to marry? I guess then you are just denied one of God's greatest gifts . . . sex.

You get the greatest gift... according to Paul anyway lol. Celibacy. Sex is between a husband and wife period. It is to seal a covenant between the wife, husband and God. God never intended for us to make multiple covenants before Him.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I'm 33(at the end of this month) and I'm still a virgin. I never intended to be this old and unmarried. I'm an old 33 year old maid. Yall do know that it's all down hill after 32.

No but seriously. I'm glad your niece is on the right path. Jay Seculo was recently speaking on this topic on his show. He and a guest speaker made some good points about Christians living life like the world but with Christian principles. One of the problems in the church is people waiting too long for marriage. No you don't get married just to have sex but we have fallen into the trap of the world. We tell young people not to get married at 20 because they are too immature. Well there's a new problem right there. Why aren't we requiring more maturity from our young people.

We tell them they can't commit at a young age. Why? Because they will change their mind and get divorced. Well here's a newsflash. YOUR MIND WILL BE CHANGING THROUGH OUT YOUR LIFE. IT'S NO REASON FOR DIVORCE AND WE SHOULD NOT PUT THAT IN THEIR HEADS.

I agree somewhat with the poster that said it's not natural or something along those lines. Yep, I'm not doing something totally natural. I want sex. I want lots of it. But i want God more. Although there is a reason that the very mother of Christ was around 15 when she had him. When men and women started maturing society didn't tell them to go out and get their freak on and "try" each other out. They know in biblical times that it their sexuality was a vital part of them and there was only ONE way to PROPERLY handle that. Marriage.

I must say also in biblical times there wasn't this emphasis on googly eyed love and romance. Sure it was around but today we seem to have it all backwards. We wait until someone comes along who has us tiptoeing through the frickin' tulips. And then we wonder why all these yound black women are running around with three and four kids by tyrone and 'nem. These women were not just sex obsessed nymphos. Someone got their heart thumping and they made stupid decisions.

I personally think we need to start preparing our Christian youth for marriage earlier. Prepare men to be men and realise that they need to step up and be qualified to lead and support a household. Prepare the men and women to think with their brains.

Men need to learn the same women who look good walking around the block getting stared down by the men may very well be the same woman who will leave your son at her mothers house every chance she gets so she can run around with her girlfriends. And forget about a home cooked men cause she can't cook worth a flying fig.

Women need to learn mister saggy pants and timbs may be a good time now but he is not going to suddenly man up and open a can of act right when it's time to make a home. Which is what our black babies so desperately need now. And hounding him for child support is going to be your new hobby if you choose with your heart and your hormones what looks good now.

This may seem old fashioned to some but please remember the black community has always been in the sorry state we are in now.

It bothers me that some may see something wrong with two people who are not "in love" getting married because they make a decision to come together for physical comfort (yeah I said it) financial security and all the other comforts and benefits of marriage and let love come as the marriage grows. But see nothing wrong with "trying" someone out like they are a new car.


P.S.
Any "christian" man who is surprised that your niece is not sexually active is like someone telling me they are a muslim and eat ham sandwhiches regularly and they totally agree that Jesus is the Son of God. They would get the "so called muslim" title from me just like I will slap a "so called christian" title on some of these suspect folks.

 

[1Aleeesha]

I'm 33(at the end of this month) and I'm still a virgin. I never intended to be this old and unmarried. I'm an old 33 year old maid. Yall do know that it's all down hill after 32.

No but seriously. I'm glad your niece is on the right path. Jay Seculo was recently speaking on this topic on his show. He and a guest speaker made some good points about Christians living life like the world but with Christian principles. One of the problems in the church is people waiting too long for marriage. No you don't get married just to have sex but we have fallen into the trap of the world. We tell young people not to get married at 20 because they are too immature. Well there's a new problem right there. Why aren't we requiring more maturity from our young people.

We tell them they can't commit at a young age. Why? Because they will change their mind and get divorced. Well here's a newsflash. YOUR MIND WILL BE CHANGING THROUGH OUT YOUR LIFE. IT'S NO REASON FOR DIVORCE AND WE SHOULD NOT PUT THAT IN THEIR HEADS.

I agree somewhat with the poster that said it's not natural or something along those lines. Yep, I'm not doing something totally natural. I want sex. I want lots of it. But i want God more. Although there is a reason that the very mother of Christ was around 15 when she had him. When men and women started maturing society didn't tell them to go out and get their freak on and "try" each other out. They know in biblical times that it their sexuality was a vital part of them and there was only ONE way to PROPERLY handle that. Marriage.

I must say also in biblical times there wasn't this emphasis on googly eyed love and romance. Sure it was around but today we seem to have it all backwards. We wait until someone comes along who has us tiptoeing through the frickin' tulips. And then we wonder why all these yound black women are running around with three and four kids by tyrone and 'nem. These women were not just sex obsessed nymphos. Someone got their heart thumping and they made stupid decisions.

I personally think we need to start preparing our Christian youth for marriage earlier. Prepare men to be men and realise that they need to step up and be qualified to lead and support a household. Prepare the men and women to think with their brains.

Men need to learn the same women who look good walking around the block getting stared down by the men may very well be the same woman who will leave your son at her mothers house every chance she gets so she can run around with her girlfriends. And forget about a home cooked men cause she can't cook worth a flying fig.

Women need to learn mister saggy pants and timbs may be a good time now but he is not going to suddenly man up and open a can of act right when it's time to make a home. Which is what our black babies so desperately need now. And hounding him for child support is going to be your new hobby if you choose with your heart and your hormones what looks good now.

This may seem old fashioned to some but please remember the black community has always been in the sorry state we are in now.

It bothers me that some may see something wrong with two people who are not "in love" getting married because they make a decision to come together for physical comfort (yeah I said it) financial security and all the other comforts and benefits of marriage and let love come as the marriage grows. But see nothing wrong with "trying" someone out like they are a new car.


P.S.
Any "christian" man who is surprised that your niece is not sexually active is like someone telling me they are a muslim and eat ham sandwhiches regularly and they totally agree that Jesus is the Son of God. They would get the "so called muslim" title from me just like I will slap a "so called christian" title on some of these suspect folks.

<<Clears throat...How does it go... "Ameen" LOL. You said nothing but the truth.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I am personally a Christian virgin.
That is my personal choice with my walk with God.

Just because I am a virgin doesn't mean I don't sin in some type of form or fashion.
For those who have issues with those who do have sex while claiming to be Christian, shouldn't cast judgment.

Christian is not synonymous with "perfect".
and for those who claim it is should re-evaluate the term "human"

It's not us "casting" judgements. God has already judged it first. So I don't see anyone here judging it. We are calling it as we see it. SIN. Doesn't mean we are perfect and we have never claimed to be.

But if the subject is fornication and you are not fornicating it doesn't call for someone to accuse you of being perfect and dig up some sin you are participating in and use it as a shield to deflect the truth you are offering on the current subject.

Nothing but the truth has been stated here.
God says it's wrong.
You can bring all the other sins that are not the topic of this post into that still doesn't negate the truth. Fornication is a sin against your own body and you don't have to be perfect to offer up that truth nor does it mean you are putting yourself out there as perfect.

Nobody is perfect and I don't see anyone stating they are. Can we just acknowledge that?