Fake Medical?

[Farida]

One of my good friends is getting married to a guy who I believe is a total fraud. But that’s a story for a day when I am not typing on my phone.

Recently she came to me and said she had an abnormal Pap smear and positive HPV and Chlamydia test.

She has been with her fiancé for about 15 months. So I expected her to be angry that he gave her STDs.

But she turns around and tells me she believes she got them from another guy. So I instantly think she cheated on her fiancé.

Nope. She believes she got it from a one night stand almost 2 years ago.

Now I know you can have asymptomatic HPV or HIV for years and not know. But can a WOMAN have asymptomatic clap for 2 years?

And her fiancé was mad at her but when calmed down he told her his friend’s wife had it for 15 years and had no idea. Now that is total BS. That leads me to believe he is telling her that story to convince her he did not give it to her.

She said in his line of work he gets tested every two years (but of course she has never seen the test results...)

Because of what I know about this guy I think he gave it to her. It’s the simplest and most likely explanation.

But ladies, maybe you can school me. Is it really possible to have chlamydia for 2 years and NOT have any symptoms?

 

[lesedi]

I'm mad for your friend! You need to go with them to the doctor! I don't trust any of these men

 

[Farida]

I'm mad for your friend! You need to go with them to the doctor! I don't trust any of these men

I tried. I told her to sit the OB down and ask him to be brutally honest with her.

She wasn’t buying what I had to say. And I think deep down she knows I am right. She is too afraid to ask this guy for his medical records for fear of “offending” him. I honestly think she is so desperate to get married.

 

[LBoogie85]

I tried. I told her to sit the OB down and ask him to be brutally honest with her.

She wasn’t buying what I had to say. And I think deep down she knows I am right. She is too afraid to ask this guy for his medical records for fear of “offending” him. I honestly think she is so desperate to get married.

This doesn't make sense though because even if she has had it for two years (which is nonsense), wouldn't he want to get himself checked out?

 

[Farida]

This doesn't make sense though because even if she has had it for two years (which is nonsense), wouldn't he want to get himself checked out?

Of course he claims he is going to go get checked out. By himself at HIS doctor and she is going to trust him to tell her his results just like before.

And of course he will be positive and just claim she gave it to him. Or he will lie and say he is negative. She believes everything he says.

With all his other lies I told her my opinion and decided I won’t bother anymore because she doesn’t want to hear it. But then she comes to me with this and I am so mad like he’s giving you diseases now? What if next time it is HIV?

Like, I am trying to hard to wash my hands of this relationship of hers but it is so hard for me to watch and listen. Each brand of lies is worse than the other. It keeps escalating.

I honestly don’t even think she knows his real name. And the more she tells me the more I feel like I am watching an episode on investigation discovery.

At first I suspected he is conning her out of money, or maybe he is married and just banging her...

But now I am worried about her safety. I will post more details later.

 

[LdyKamz]

From the story you told I believe he gave it to her. However, years ago my gyno at the time told me something similar. I had a polyp and I was so worried about not being able to have children because of it so I asked her a lot of questions. She started listing all the possible reasons for being unable to conceive and told me a story about a woman who had been trying to get pregnant for years with her husband but was unable. She said the woman refused STD testing because they had been married so long but finally gave in and turned out she had chlamydia and that was why! Apparently she had it for years with no symptoms. That story stuck with me for some reason.

 

[melisandre]

Wow! Untreated chlamydia can cause infertility. I feel for her. No man is worth your health.

 

[Farida]

From the story you told I believe he gave it to her. However, years ago my gyno at the time told me something similar. I had a polyp and I was so worried about not being able to have children because of it so I asked her a lot of questions. She started listing all the possible reasons for being unable to conceive and told me a story about a woman who had been trying to get pregnant for years with her husband but was unable. She said the woman refused STD testing because they had been married so long but finally gave in and turned out she had chlamydia and that was why! Apparently she had it for years with no symptoms. That story stuck with me for some reason.

I was reading online and saw a few anecdotes online about people having it for years but is seems like at least for women symptoms seem to pop up. The women may ignore them or attribute it to something else but in the end they find out it is the clap. So like the woman above looks like her symptom was infertility. If I was infertile I would not immediately think I have an untreated STD. How scary! She probably had PID and never noticed.

I guess it is at least good that my friend gets tested. But many women don’t get tested until their pap smears. And each year they keep pushing the number of years you need a pap. It used to be annual, then every 2 and now they are saying 5. Which means many women won’t get tested for STDs for 5 years.

 

[007PMP]

He gave it to her.

Someone with the clap for two years would be burning, itching, smelling like a seafood market, oozing, sick, tired, etc. So if she or he didn’t have any of these symptoms before and she JUST test positive, he JUST gave it to her.

This also leads me to think they havent been getting STD checked over the course of their relationship (common stupidity) and she herself wasnt getting annual paps.

And I bet she’s going to marry him still....

 

[FlowerHair]

Your friend sounds like she’s delusional about her relationship.

That said, chlamydia can be asymptomatic for years.

I thought “the clap” was gonnorhea?

 

[sgold04]

Did she not get tested after that one night stand all those years ago? Or after any other partner? This doesn’t make any sense.

 

[Farida]

Your friend sounds like she’s delusional about her relationship.

That said, chlamydia can be asymptomatic for years.

I thought “the clap” was gonnorhea?

You are right it is gonorrhea. I thought it was Chlamydia

 

[Farida]

Did she not get tested after that one night stand all those years ago? Or after any other partner? This doesn’t make any sense.

She did not get tested after the one night stand. This is the first test she has had since the one night stand. And she has only been with her fiancé since. She gets tested with her regular paps.

 

[Farida]

Things that convince me he is a total fraud:

1. He has not introduced her to any friends. Says all his friends are back East. How do you live in your current state for over 15 months and have ZERO friends.

2. She has not met any of his family. Says his immediate family lives in the UK. They have never skyped or face-timed or anything. She says they will come to the wedding. He claims not to have enough leave from work to take her to meet them.

3. She has never been to his place. He claims to be military and lives on the barracks. But she has never been on base.

4. He claims to be a nurse but I cannot find his license.

5. His car is registered to a WOMAN. When she confronted him he said he bought it used and the dealer forgot to submit the title paperwork.

6. Again, claims to be military but says he has fainted several times in her presence due to reduced lung function from cancer. No military branch would let you serve with that condition and if you were serving they will discharge you.

7. He said he burned his ex-gf’s car because she cheated on him. He said he punched his sister’s boyfriend for a comment...he said he was suspended without pay for two months for punching someone...

8. I looked for him online and he has zero online presence. I put his last name in google and got ZERO results. So supposedly he is the only person in the entire internet with that last name. Or even that name as a first name. GTOHWTBS.

I COULD GO ON...

But all of this PLUS the STD thing. That is why I fear for her safety. This guy is lying all around, brags about violence and IMO gave her an STD. Doesn’t this sound like a bad lifetime movie, or who the bleep did I marry on ID?

 

[fula97]

Things that convince me he is a total fraud:

1. He has not introduced her to any friends. Says all his friends are back East. How do you live in your current state for over 15 months and have ZERO friends.

2. She has not met any of his family. Says his immediate family lives in the UK. They have never skyped or face-timed or anything. She says they will come to the wedding. He claims not to have enough leave from work to take her to meet them.

3. She has never been to his place. He claims to be military and lives on the barracks. But she has never been on base.

4. He claims to be a nurse but I cannot find his license.

5. His car is registered to a WOMAN. When she confronted him he said he bought it used and the dealer forgot to submit the title paperwork.

6. Again, claims to be military but says he has fainted several times in her presence due to reduced lung function from cancer. No military branch would let you serve with that condition and if you were serving they will discharge you.

7. He said he burned his ex-gf’s car because she cheated on him. He said he punched his sister’s boyfriend for a comment...he said he was suspended without pay for two months for punching someone...

8. I looked for him online and he has zero online presence. I put his last name in google and got ZERO results. So supposedly he is the only person in the entire internet with that last name. Or even that name as a first name. GTOHWTBS.

I COULD GO ON...

But all of this PLUS the STD thing. That is why I fear for her safety. This guy is lying all around, brags about violence and IMO gave her an STD. Doesn’t this sound like a bad lifetime movie, or who the bleep did I marry on ID?

How is she getting married with the first three. They first two would be a no go never-mind the other 5. She is desperate and delusional

 

[Farida]

How is she getting married with the first three. They first two would be a no go never-mind the other 5. She is desperate and delusional

And what baffles me is she has a mom, dad and brother with whom she is close. They have all met the guy and are co-signing on this foolishness. I don’t know her family so I am not comfortable approaching them. And her mom is actually one of my bosses so I am not willing to go to her. If she is delusional about this like her daughter she will get pissed off at me and then it will make my work life weird and possibly hell...

 

[awhyley]

Things that convince me he is a total fraud:
3. She has never been to his place. He claims to be military and lives on the barracks. But she has never been on base.

Can't she just pop up and request to see him? I know that she wouldn't get in, but his name should be on a listing of some sort, yes?

(eta: Her family may be co-signing this to appease her, but I'm sure that he's messed up with some lies, and that they're uncomfortable. No fam after 15 months, er ok . She really needs to put a PI on that @ss before she gets any more entangled with this.)

 

[Farida]

Can't she just pop up and request to see him? I know that she wouldn't get in, but his name should be on a listing of some sort, yes?

(eta: Her family may be co-signing this to appease her, but I'm sure that he's messed up with some lies, and that they're uncomfortable. No fam after 15 months, er ok . She really needs to put a PI on that @ss before she gets any more entangled with this.)

I think it is serious denial because we are in SoCal and ANYONE can get on base as long as you have a valid ID and say why you are there. I have been on base myself several times. They even have a paintball park open to the public so you could even say you are going there to play paintball and they will let you in. I told her she should just show up on base and ask him to take her on a tour or something. But shs is like, “I don’t want to get him in trouble.”

One time he told her he was at the navy hospital and she drove there to see him and fool told her she was at the “wrong” hospital and to meet him at McDonald’s off-base.

That’s why I tried to even look him up myself because I thought if I had some concrete details I could approach her mom with confidence. But that’s how I turned up with ZERO. I even asked her to give me the name of the woman on his supposedly mistake registration so I could look her up. But she deflected and never showed it to me.

That’s why at first I was over it and like if she wants to get conned that’s on her. But once the violence and STD stuff popped up I got worried.

I am considering waiting things out for a bit and bringing it up again. I even thought of maybe meetimg up with her SIL for coffee or something, even though I don’t really know her. I am at a loss.

Anyway, at the very least if something goes down (hopefully nothing violent) she can at least remember I was honest with her. Our mutual friends have been gossiping behind her back and are all too chicken to say anything to her face. And some of them are much closer friends who have known her longer than I have.

I am even wondering what his end game is because I don’t believe he intends to marry her. I suspect sbe may have added him to her accounts and he will drain them and vanish before the wedding. I know some people do joint accounts and stuff leading up to the wedding. And she mentioned even before they were engaged, wanting to add him to her credit card to help him “build credit.” And I gave her a hearty “hell naw.” But if he has given her a fake name how would she even do it? I dunno...

 

[oneastrocurlie]

Is this the same friend who's marrying someone who needs a visa or something? Lol

 

[SexySin985]

Your friend is well aware that the man she is getting ready to marry is shady. At this point I would just let her know that you are here for her but I would not push the matter any further. Hopefully, she'll realize sooner rather than later that she needs to end this relationship before things gets worse for her. You should tell us his name and any other info you have on him. You know the LHCFBI will be on it like white on rice

 

[Farida]

Your friend is well aware that the man she is getting ready to marry is shady. At this point I would just let her know that you are here for her but I would not push the matter any further. Hopefully, she'll realize sooner rather than later that she needs to end this relationship before things gets worse for her. You should tell us his name and any other info you have on him. You know the LHCFBI will be on it like white on rice

My original thought was to post his info on Off Topic along with a picture and sic the LHCFBI on him but. But some of the folks on this board go too hard...next thing you know they’ll link me to her and go IN on my life like they did DLewis

 

[Farida]

Is this the same friend who's marrying someone who needs a visa or something? Lol

Haha that’s someone else. That person already cut me off for my brutal honesty. But then had the nerve to turn around and ask me for free legal advice for the visa. I was like, “nope.” You don’t get to selectively cut me off and I don’t help people execute bad decisions.

I should write a book with all this drama around me. Like if I was not witnessing it myself I would be like “these are all lies. Fake news.”

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

She is desperate. Desperate people put themselves in harm's way all the time, the fear of being alone is a helluva motivator.

 

[Ms. Tarabotti]

So where are the two lovebirds going to be living after the wedding? Is he going to move in to her place with just a toothbrush ' because the moving people screwed up and lost his furniture'? Is he going to keep going to his pretend job or will he suddenly be laid off?

 

[Kurlee]

And what baffles me is she has a mom, dad and brother with whom she is close. They have all met the guy and are co-signing on this foolishness. I don’t know her family so I am not comfortable approaching them. And her mom is actually one of my bosses so I am not willing to go to her. If she is delusional about this like her daughter she will get pissed off at me and then it will make my work life weird and possibly hell...

I been telling ya'll that women feel pressured to marry and many overlook a lot to make it happen. Try your best to help your friend leave this fool before she ends up chronically ill.

 

[Farida]

So where are the two lovebirds going to be living after the wedding? Is he going to move in to her place with just a toothbrush ' because the moving people screwed up and lost his furniture'? Is he going to keep going to his pretend job or will he suddenly be laid off?

He is moving in with her. He conveniently has no furniture because he “lives in the barracks.”

 

[mrselle]

He is moving in with her. He conveniently has no furniture because he “lives in the barracks.”

That's what I was going to say. The barracks provides everything he needs. He can move in with a toothbrush and one suitcase.

Just out of curiosity, how old are they?

 

[007PMP]

clutches pearls....

He sounds like danger.

 

[Farida]

That's what I was going to say. The barracks provides everything he needs. He can move in with a toothbrush and one suitcase.

Just out of curiosity, how old are they?

She in her 30s. He claims to be in his 30s...

 

[Farida]

I haven’t seen him since their engagement party. Next time I see him I’m going to go outside and get his license plate number and run it. I bet you that woman on the registration is his wife or girlfriend.