Do yall think men and women can just be friends?

S

sexyeyes3616

New Member
Specifically if there is sex involved.(This is me talking in general)

And also once you have dated a guy and had strong feelings for him, after not seeing him for a couple of years yall reconnect again. Do you find it hard to just be friends?(I am refering to an actual situation)
 
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I want to say yes to this, but my personal experience says no. Most of my male friends have asked me out at some point and usually the friendship faded once they found a girlfriend. Usually I was the one wanting to be just friends and they kept pushing for more.
 
I think it is unusual when there is sex involved. But it highly depends on the nature of the individuals. I know a couple of women who, from all that can be seen, have no problem keeping f#&*buddies just that...buddies. But I've seen a lot more women who claim that's all they want but then eventually end up messed up over it and often badly hurt.

Men are another story. Generally, if they say they want sex, but not a "relationship" they mean it. Generally.

If there is no sex involved, yes, I think men and women can be friends. I have some male friends. I was once in a relationship with one of my good male friends. I think whether people can be friends after a breakup depends on what happened in the relationship and what kind of breakup it was.
 
Yeah, I think so.

There's a guy I used to date when I was in college. We ended our relationship on a sour note, didn't speak for 2 years, then became friends again. He's also my mother's financial planner.

He lives in Queens, so a few times I've gone to NY and stayed with him and NOTHING happened, not even a kiss.

We don't even talk about our past relationship. You would never know we were once involved if you saw us together.
 
I think it's possible. I knew my ex since we were three and dated briefly when I was 18. We broke up because I met DH. We are good friends to this day. We don't talk everyday, but we are cool. DH and I are also acquaintances with another ex. They actually hung out at the pool hall once last year.
 
Not from my experience it's not. Every one of my male friends that I was close to tried to get at me at some point. I was totally stunned the first few times, cause I honestly thought we were just friends. It was then my dad sat me down and said "Mocha...unless a man is gay, I can promise you that he's thought of being with, kissing, dating, or f***ing you at least once. When it comes to men, no one EVER wants to just be your friend" :lachen:

Case in point: my bff of 11 years and I just took it there in early '08...his first words after we had sex for the first time "I've been waiting 11 looooooong years for that" :lachen:
 
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I think once you've crossed the line and had sex..it's hard to be just friends especially if one person wanted more. If you were in a relationship and broke up..maybe. If it was friends with benefits..not so easy.

I do have a male friend (my best friend) that nothing sexual has ever happened and I think/hope we will be friends for life with no problem.
 
even though i am not enemies with any of my exes, i remained friends with only one ex.

nothing has happened since. ever.

however, deep down, i know if i offered dude some, he'd take it.
 
With sex-involved? I'm going to have to say no. I just think it would be weird to try and switch back to a platonic relationship. A casual friendship at a distance may be possible though.

If sex wasn't involved? Yes.
 
sexyeyes3616 said:
No there wasn't any rolling in the sheets. I just heard from him recently.
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Oh in that case yes I feel you can be friends. I have done that several times with several different dudes. But don't get me wrong if I offered to give them some, they would have taken it. But I was over them I just like kicking it with them because I enjoyed their company and the attention. I think it is possible.
 
For me yes. I can separate sex from emotions. I am still friends with guys that I've slept with. I run into them all the time. We talk like nothing ever happened. There were never an feelings so it's easy for us to transition into friendship. I am still friends with both of my exs. I dont want any of them and they don't want me. If we don't tell you that we dated you'd never know.
 
:scratchch I've tried to be friends with a person I had feelings for and relations with, we ended up :kissing4:
We can't be just friends in person :giggle:...via telephone it kinda works :look:
 
This is a hard one. But I was explaining something to a friend of mine who i feel is having an inappropriate relationship with a girl he has had sex with a couple of times and almost had a relationship with but he fell in love with someone else. I told him that female/male friendships are teetering a line. I love all of my male friends dearly, but I have been attracted to a couple and not physically just the connection we made. I told him with friendship there is mutual respect, then mutual love follows, now this is where it gets sticky, sometimes mutual attraction develops. I just eliminate all that nonsense but not being alone with my male friends I had sex with one of my male friends and to this day he is afraid to be alone with me out of fear that something will pop off and out of respect for his girlfriend I don't even trip, even though there is no chance in hell he's getting some from me again.
 
It depends on the people involved.

I have a strictly platonic male friend of 15 years whom I've never been intimate with. However, I know that if I initiated something, it would happen. :ohwell:

As for exes.... I'm not convinced that can work.
 
sexyeyes3616 said:
Specifically if there is sex involved.(This is me talking in general)
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Nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo. :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: Be friends OR bed buddies because you absolutely, positively CANNOT be both.

sexyeyes3616 said:
And also once you have dated a guy and had strong feelings for him, after not seeing him for a couple of years yall reconnect again. Do you find it hard to just be friends?(I am refering to an actual situation)
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A clean break is best. I found myself in that situation, enjoyed his company, forgot about all the reasons why we didn't work the first time, and wound up becoming an ex X 2. Everyone and every situation is different, but I (having been through both scenarios) wouldn't touch either one of them...
 
MochaEyeCandy said:
Not from my experience it's not. Every one of my male friends that I was close to tried to get at me at some point. I was totally stunned the first few times, cause I honestly thought we were just friends. It was then my dad sat me down and said "Mocha...unless a man is gay, I can promise you that he's thought of being with, kissing, dating, or f***ing you at least once. When it comes to men, no one EVER wants to just be your friend" :lachen:

Case in point: my bff of 11 years and I just took it there in early '08...his first words after we had sex for the first time "I've been waiting 11 looooooong years for that" :lachen:
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LOL! :lol: The men on the askmen.com forum seem to echo this same sentiment, so it MUST be true! :lachen: If you're just remotely attractive...

Sheesh... I can't even imagine being this way. :look: But guys are just wired differently from us. Their "drives" are higher than most women...what can I say?

I'm starting to now see that this is true more often than not. :scratchch ANY straight guy over the age of 18 that speaks to you first, hangs around you, or wants to be your "friend" is usually attracted to you in some way. :yep: Plain & simple.
 
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I have several friendships with males, as I do with females. No hanky panky involved.
For those that I may have liked, or we liked each other in our teens or whatever, we've moved on to talk about our new loves and stuff and just remained cool.
 
NO, For me that cannot be.

Yes, unless he is gay. Hey I do have a gay male friend and he is cool and I love him to death! With that being said we will NEVER cross that line.
 
MochaEyeCandy said:
Not from my experience it's not. Every one of my male friends that I was close to tried to get at me at some point. I was totally stunned the first few times, cause I honestly thought we were just friends. It was then my dad sat me down and said "Mocha...unless a man is gay, I can promise you that he's thought of being with, kissing, dating, or f***ing you at least once. When it comes to men, no one EVER wants to just be your friend" :lachen:

Case in point: my bff of 11 years and I just took it there in early '08...his first words after we had sex for the first time "I've been waiting 11 looooooong years for that" :lachen:
Click to expand...


Mocha I love you and your dad! :yep: This is so true!:yep:
 
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