Do Men Really Respect You More if you "Wait"/Make Him Wait???

[Princess4real]

Are you kidding? It's a part of our body just like any other. We have just chosen to attach special significance to it. Kinda OT, but do you ever wonder why cerain part of our bodies are considered "private." I was trying to explain this to a little kid one day and I couldn't quite explain why certain body parts are private.

Caligirl,

I'm really serious!!! Who doesn't think their private parts aren't special? Don't answer that because I do know some people who will give it away like it's nothing. I was raised to believe my private parts were special and I was scared to get a disease. I'm just grateful that I never had to go to a clinic because I had bumps on my lovely lady lumps.

 

[Farida]

It is not a part of your body just like any other. It is the part of the body through which you bring life into this world, through which you create a bond with another person. The part through which you let someone be a part of you. So, I think it is worth a lot more than my hand or nails.

 

[Princess4real]

Are you kidding? It's a part of our body just like any other. We have just chosen to attach special significance to it. Kinda OT, but do you ever wonder why cerain part of our bodies are considered "private." I was trying to explain this to a little kid one day and I couldn't quite explain why certain body parts are private.

I forgot to try to answer the question about keeping our privates covered. I was just told to always keep your stuff covered so people wouldn't anything. You may have to get Shimmie to answer that one.

 

[caligirl]

It is the part of the body through which you bring life into this world, through which you create a bond with another person. The part through which you let someone be a part of you

That's true, and very beautifully stated.

 

[cocoberry10]

It is not a part of your body just like any other. It is the part of the body through which you bring life into this world, through which you create a bond with another person. The part through which you let someone be a part of you. So, I think it is worth a lot more than my hand or nails.

I totally agree with this. Well said and beautifully written!

 

[MizzBrown]

I had my exboyfriend "test" me once. Fooling around and he pulled out the condom. When i saw just how ready he was with the condom in the his hand I acted a fool and said "hell nah!, we can wait on that..whats the rush?" He said "oh okay" and months later i asked him about that moment and why he as such in a hurry? He said he was horny but if i had given in, he would've taken it and then gotten right up and left me there.

A LOT of my guy friends do these kinds of "tests" on women just to see where your head is at. Make his a$$ wait.

 

[AmilLion]

It is not a part of your body just like any other. It is the part of the body through which you bring life into this world, through which you create a bond with another person. The part through which you let someone be a part of you. So, I think it is worth a lot more than my hand or nails.

Soo beautifully said.

 

[kismettt]

I had my exboyfriend "test" me once. Fooling around and he pulled out the condom. When i saw just how ready he was with the condom in the his hand I acted a fool and said "hell nah!, we can wait on that..whats the rush?" He said "oh okay" and months later i asked him about that moment and why he as such in a hurry? He said he was horny but if i had given in, he would've taken it and then gotten right up and left me there.

A LOT of my guy friends do these kinds of "tests" on women just to see where your head is at. Make his a$$ wait.

oh wow. that is...dumb. personally, i think that's really immature & just bizarre. if a female did that she would be a tease. either way, if either sex really feels as if that's necessary [so to speak], than i guess, do you

 

[Bunny77]

I had my exboyfriend "test" me once. Fooling around and he pulled out the condom. When i saw just how ready he was with the condom in the his hand I acted a fool and said "hell nah!, we can wait on that..whats the rush?" He said "oh okay" and months later i asked him about that moment and why he as such in a hurry? He said he was horny but if i had given in, he would've taken it and then gotten right up and left me there.

A LOT of my guy friends do these kinds of "tests" on women just to see where your head is at. Make his a$$ wait.

And any man who is going to pull that kind of test on me will not be my man.

I had this sorta-kinda happen to me... I waited for a few months, simply because I didn't know the dude well on the first time we had the opportunity to get down. So when it finally happened, he said, "You know, I was hoping you'd invite me in that one time a few months ago, but I respect you more because you didn't."

I was turned off instantly.

And the more I went out with him, the more sexist statements he made. He provided his apartment as a safe haven for one of his boys who was cheating, talked about how he "used" to be a dog but was "reformed,"

I let him go because he was already proving he was the type who would pull a double standard on me anytime... I'd be the type he'd want to "marry," but he'd cheat on me with a "ho" in a quickness.

So... anyone "testing" me gets the boot. The end.

 

[spelmanlocks]

It is not a part of your body just like any other. It is the part of the body through which you bring life into this world, through which you create a bond with another person. The part through which you let someone be a part of you. So, I think it is worth a lot more than my hand or nails.

Definitely!! It is definitely not something I'd treat like my hand or some other body part. I made my SO wait a very, very long time and now we're getting married. It let me know that was a definite keeper. In my opinion if a man is willing to wait you can almost bet he'll be around for a while.

 

[chinadoll]

Definitely!! It is definitely not something I'd treat like my hand or some other body part. I made my SO wait a very, very long time and now we're getting married. It let me know that was a definite keeper. In my opinion if a man is willing to wait you can almost bet he'll be around for a while.

How long???????

 

[spelmanlocks]

How long???????

Years long This approach does not work for everyone, but it worked for us.

 

[AmilLion]

Definitely!! It is definitely not something I'd treat like my hand or some other body part. I made my SO wait a very, very long time and now we're getting married. It let me know that was a definite keeper. In my opinion if a man is willing to wait you can almost bet he'll be around for a while.

I wasn't ready for a relationship, but I was talking to a guy for quite some time. It took us about 5 months before we engaged in any sexual activity. He waited and though we are still "involved" we are not a official couple. I like him a lot, but I know he's not the one for me, at least right now. We've been involved now for 4 years.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

In answer to the OP's question: YES!! Men do respect you more when you make them wait.

They may not want to admit it, and they may be hating you for a day afterwards, but trust me...when you make them wait, your stock/worth goes up.

You know the saying: Anything that comes TOO easy must not be all that great.

 

[AmilLion]

In answer to the OP's question: YES!! Men do respect you more when you make them wait.

They may not want to admit it, and they may be hating you for a day afterwards, but trust me...when you make them wait, your stock/worth goes up.

You know the saying: Anything that comes TOO easy must not be all that great.

I mean, I really don't understand this logic. If he's an butthole, he's going to be an butthole regardless if you make him wait or not.

If he's a respectful man, then why would he try to get into your panties upon the first meeting? Any man that's trying to have sexual relations upon first encounter, he wasn't worth it in the beginning IMO. It works both ways for me.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I mean, I really don't understand this logic. If he's an butthole, he's going to be an butthole regardless if you make him wait or not.

If he's a respectful man, then why would he try to get into your panties upon the first meeting? Any man that's trying to have sexual relations upon first encounter, he wasn't worth it in the beginning IMO. It works both ways for me.

IMO a man who is a butthole is less likely to sit around and wait for a woman. And if he does turn to a butthole over time, its probably more to do with him or some dynamic of the relationship rather than him not respecting you or thinking you are a hoe.

I think its best for a woman to get to know a man first cause over time, stuff really starts flying out of the closet if its in there and you really get to know a person better than say screwing them within the first week of knowing them. Also, this weeds out the ones who may be just around for the goods, unless that's all you want out of it also.

 

[AmilLion]

IMO a man who is a butthole is less likely to sit around and wait for a woman. And if he does turn to a butthole over time, its probably more to do with him or some dynamic of the relationship rather than him not respecting you or thinking you are a hoe.

I think its best for a woman to get to know a man first cause over time, stuff really starts flying out of the closet if its in there and you really get to know a person better than say screwing them within the first week of knowing them. Also, this weeds out the ones who may be just around for the goods, unless that's all you want out of it also.

Basically what I'm saying, any respectful man is going to want to get to know the woman before jumping head first. Just as much as he could be crazy, she could be too. I just don't like the fact that it seems that women have to bare on their shoulders finding the perfect mate by making him wait....when he should equally want to wait because he would like to know what he's dealing with

 

[Bunny77]

If he's a respectful man, then why would he try to get into your panties upon the first meeting? Any man that's trying to have sexual relations upon first encounter, he wasn't worth it in the beginning IMO. It works both ways for me.

RIGHT!!!! Exactly my point!!!!

BTW, I am firmly in the "wait" camp, but not to earn some man's "respect." My waiting is to get to know him better and make sure he's an honorable man who wants me for me, not just for sex.

I don't see why a woman should feel like she got something great because a man tried to get in her panties, she said no, and then he decides she's worthy to be a girlfriend/wifey. erplexed

 

[Bunny77]

Basically what I'm saying, any respectful man is going to want to get to know the woman before jumping head first.

Also in agreement!

The men that I've been involved with (save for that one fool I mentioned... oh well, I was young), NEVER tried anything with me on the first, second or sometimes even third dates. Or if they made a move, it didn't go past kissing and sometimes THEY stopped first!

Any man who tries something waaaay too soon will be kicked to the curb.

 

[spelmanlocks]

Basically what I'm saying, any respectful man is going to want to get to know the woman before jumping head first. Just as much as he could be crazy, she could be too. I just don't like the fact that it seems that women have to bare on their shoulders finding the perfect mate by making him wait....when he should equally want to wait because he would like to know what he's dealing with

That was my point also. I was just trying to say waiting helps you figure out if a man is a butthole and if he is a butthole he's not going to stick around anyway if you make him wait.

 

[dannie]

That was my point also. I was just trying to say waiting helps you figure out if a man is a butthole and if he is a butthole he's not going to stick around anyway if you make him wait.

I agree, and I wanted to share my own recent experience on this subject as well.

I was dating a guy for like 2 months, which admittedly is not a whole lot of time, like 5-6 dates. Didnt even kiss until 2 weeks in. I talked to him all the time, we went out all the time, he would remember my fav artist and make mixtapes for me. If we didnt go out it would be walks thru the park or the beach, all that crap. I dunno even my friends were saying it seemed I had finally met a nice guy.

I never led on I was making him wait, because it really wasnt about him, I was just waiting until I felt comfortable with him, which I did. A few weeks after we had sex his ass split, and I haven't heard from him since.

Then there have been guys who I havent even kissed who've done the same thing. Or guys I slept with quickly who turned out to be relationships.

But basically I feel like if the guy is interested in you he will stay. I think my story kinda supports your quote. It is best to try to wait as long as possible to sort out the situation and how you feel before sleeping with someone and even then you may be wrong.

 

[dannie]

double post

 

[cocoberry10]

I’m really sorry about your experience. I know I would be bummed. He wasn’t worthy of you anyway, and know that someone better is coming!

I agree, and I wanted to share my own recent experience on this subject as well.

I was dating a guy for like 2 months, which admittedly is not a whole lot of time, like 5-6 dates. Didnt even kiss until 2 weeks in. I talked to him all the time, we went out all the time, he would remember my fav artist and make mixtapes for me. If we didnt go out it would be walks thru the park or the beach, all that crap. I dunno even my friends were saying it seemed I had finally met a nice guy.

I never led on I was making him wait, because it really wasnt about him, I was just waiting until I felt comfortable with him, which I did. A few weeks after we had sex his ass split, and I haven't heard from him since.

Then there have been guys who I havent even kissed who've done the same thing. Or guys I slept with quickly who turned out to be relationships.

But basically I feel like if the guy is interested in you he will stay. I think my story kinda supports your quote. It is best to try to wait as long as possible to sort out the situation and how you feel before sleeping with someone and even then you may be wrong.

 

[cocoberry10]

A LOT of my guy friends do these kinds of "tests" on women just to see where your head is at. Make his a$$ wait.

I like this!

 

[cocoberry10]

I mean, I really don't understand this logic. If he's an butthole, he's going to be an butthole regardless if you make him wait or not.

If he's a respectful man, then why would he try to get into your panties upon the first meeting? Any man that's trying to have sexual relations upon first encounter, he wasn't worth it in the beginning IMO. It works both ways for me.

I totally agree with this thinking and I think the same way!!!!!!!!

 

[cocoberry10]

Basically what I'm saying, any respectful man is going to want to get to know the woman before jumping head first. Just as much as he could be crazy, she could be too. I just don't like the fact that it seems that women have to bare on their shoulders finding the perfect mate by making him wait....when he should equally want to wait because he would like to know what he's dealing with

 

[dannie]

I’m really sorry about your experience. I know I would be bummed. He wasn’t worthy of you anyway, and know that someone better is coming!

aww thanx coco!! Dont feel too bad for me though because I was dating someone else anyway. Cant have all my eggs in one basket especially these days.

 

[cocoberry10]

aww thanx coco!! Dont feel too bad for me though because I was dating someone else anyway. Cant have all my eggs in one basket especially these days.

 

[MzLady78]

Same thing - my last boyfriend of 5+ years, I slept with pretty soon after meeting him.

Apparently it didn't affect his perception of me. And we never had the "well, you did ____ with me, you must've done _____ with someone else" conversation.

I personally think that's a cop out to not take the relationship any further simply because they don't want to, not because their perception of you has changed.

I really don't think there is a cut and dry answer to this question. I think it depends on the person and their level of maturity.

And based on some of the stories that have been posted, it's clear that you don't know they're gonna react either way.

That's why I feel you should make your decision based on how YOU feel and what YOU want.

 

[cocoberry10]

I personally think that's a cop out to not take the relationship any further simply because they don't want to, not because their perception of you has changed.

I really don't think there is a cut and dry answer to this question. I think it depends on the person and their level of maturity.
And based on some of the stories that have been posted, it's clear that you don't know they're gonna react either way.

That's why I feel you should make your decision based on how YOU feel and what YOU want.

I totally agree with your bolded.