Do Men Really Respect You More if you "Wait"/Make Him Wait???

Do Men Really Value Having To Wait for the Nookie Anymore?

  • Absolutely! They may say otherwise, but in the end, it’s always worth the wait!

    Votes: 337 66.7%

  • Heck No! If you wait, you may lose out on a “great thing!”

    Votes: 27 5.3%

  • Undecided/I don't know

    Votes: 141 27.9%
  • Total voters
    505
Hmmm
I dont make guys wait....I do it when i'm ready...this could be within a day of meeting, or within 18months of meeting.... This works for me because i respect myself whatever the outcome. If he leaves, i think i enjoyed the sex....Next!
I once made the guy wait for about 10 months, and found out that because i had been holding out, everything for him had become about the thrill of the chase; the gifts, expensive trips and all, just to get in my knickers.
We split up like 4days after the deed was done...and i eventually found out he had a wife!
As i've read here somewhere, If the guy want to get to know you, he will continue getting to know you whether or not he has slept with you.
 
i say WAIT for the simple fact that everyone talks good, walks good, smells good in the beginning, etc. you sleep w/the joker then you find out things/habits about him that far surpass your sexual attraction and that makes you wish you never laid 2 eyes (nevermind laying him) on him. you wish that he could be a figment of your imagination. you've given him sex, something you can't have back, and you don't even like him as a person/man. sad.

if it's only physical attraction (and you dig him) but you don't want him as your steady then maybe satisfying your needs with him can be an option.
 
Candy_C said:
hmmm interesting

when i lost my virginity, i slept with the guy the first day i met him

i'm still seeing him after nearly 5 years.

we love each other a lot, the parents and siblings love me

he treats me good, takes me out, buys me things, the sex is FABULOUS.

when we had a break last year, i made my then boyfriend wait nearly 2 months

after we had sex, he disappeared for like 2 weeks, just calls but no response 2 texes or anything, i never saw him for those 2 weeks, after i made him wait...and he was CRAP in bed, i mean REALLY BAD, LIKE A PEICE OF WOOD.

so when he decided to meet up with me again, i went to his apartment in another town (he was a baller dude) and found a friggin pink razor in his bathroom and perfumey bubble baths, needless to say i cut him off...he then turned into a psycho ( i may have told you guys this before ) saying hes going to kill me..and then i found out he was a convicted killer!!!


so much for making him wait for the sex
hahhaha
Click to expand...

:blush::blush::blush:Whew!
 
ladylibra_30 said:
i say WAIT for the simple fact that everyone talks good, walks good, smells good in the beginning, etc. you sleep w/the joker then you find out things/habits about him that far surpass your sexual attraction and that makes you wish you never laid 2 eyes (nevermind laying him) on him. you wish that he could be a figment of your imagination. you've given him sex, something you can't have back, and you don't even like him as a person/man. sad.

if it's only physical attraction (and you dig him) but you don't want him as your steady then maybe satisfying your needs with him can be an option.[/quote]

I agree with you, but Ewwwwwwwwww. I'd rather get a dildo than to jump on any Tom, DICK and Harry if I'm that horny!!!!:lachen::lachen::lachen:
Click to expand...
 
dildo?! i dunno 'bout sha-boink-boinkin' myself...LOL! i think tom and his d**k is going to have to suffice when i'm worked up! LOL!
 
ladylibra_30 said:
dildo?! i dunno 'bout sha-boink-boinkin' myself...LOL! i think tom and his d**k is going to have to suffice when i'm worked up! LOL!
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen:Your safer using the sha-boink! You don't know where his musty Tom, DICK and Harry have been.:lachen::lachen::lachen:Take the time to find out what soap he uses down there! :lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
princess, you are something else! what, i don't know...LOL! it's no deal on the funky balls (breath, armpits, or attitude for that matter). he won't be my dunk-rider...believe that.

you made me lol.
 
Candy_C said:
hmmm interesting

when i lost my virginity, i slept with the guy the first day i met him

i'm still seeing him after nearly 5 years.

we love each other a lot, the parents and siblings love me

he treats me good, takes me out, buys me things, the sex is FABULOUS.

when we had a break last year, i made my then boyfriend wait nearly 2 months

after we had sex, he disappeared for like 2 weeks, just calls but no response 2 texes or anything, i never saw him for those 2 weeks, after i made him wait...and he was CRAP in bed, i mean REALLY BAD, LIKE A PEICE OF WOOD.

so when he decided to meet up with me again, i went to his apartment in another town (he was a baller dude) and found a friggin pink razor in his bathroom and perfumey bubble baths, needless to say i cut him off...he then turned into a psycho ( i may have told you guys this before ) saying hes going to kill me..and then i found out he was a convicted killer!!!


so much for making him wait for the sex
hahhaha
Click to expand...

Candy this cannot be the same guy you started a thread about "trapping".

Anyway, I think one size doesn't fit all. Personally, if I were still dating I would wait because that just how I roll (even though during those college days I was naive). Waiting not for a game, because as some others have stated it would about me. Bunny said it best.
 
Last edited:
bgsix said:
Candy this cannot be the same guy you started a thread about "trapping".

Anyway, I think one size doesn't fit all. Personally, if I were still dating I would wait because that just how I roll (even though during those college days I was naive). Waiting not for a game, because as some others have stated it would about me. Bunny said it best.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tip!
 
I feel like this thread is wishful thinking (not the thread itself but our responses).

The only way we'll know if men respect you more if you wait is if WE ASK THEM. Not us and our perspectives, but them.

My personal opinion - I think WHEN you decide to sleep with a man has little to do with whether or not you respects you. Because if you're that 100% together sister that he's always dreamed of having by his side, sleeping with him the first or second night isn't going to change the fact that you represent all that he "claims" to want in a woman. At the same time, if you're not what he wants and you wait 8 months to sleep with him (assuming you actually lasted that long), the fact still remains - you are not what he wants. Sex on the first date or night. Sure he might keep you around to have fun with, but at the end of the day, you are what he wants.

...hey, I'm just "keepin it real".
 
Same thing - my last boyfriend of 5+ years, I slept with pretty soon after meeting him.

Apparently it didn't affect his perception of me. And we never had the "well, you did ____ with me, you must've done _____ with someone else" conversation.
 
MsNadi said:
I feel like this thread is wishful thinking (not the thread itself but our responses).

The only way we'll know if men respect you more if you wait is if WE ASK THEM. Not us and our perspectives, but them.

My personal opinion - I think WHEN you decide to sleep with a man has little to do with whether or not you respects you. Because if you're that 100% together sister that he's always dreamed of having by his side, sleeping with him the first or second night isn't going to change the fact that you represent all that he "claims" to want in a woman. At the same time, if you're not what he wants and you wait 8 months to sleep with him (assuming you actually lasted that long), the fact still remains - you are not what he wants. Sex on the first date or night. Sure he might keep you around to have fun with, but at the end of the day, you are what he wants.

...hey, I'm just "keepin it real".
Click to expand...


This is all very true :yep:. I don't think men respect you more for waiting (well, I think many do, but not all) but I think you just give yourself more time to discover is he is a respectable man by waiting, without getting your feelings hurt.

I myself did the do with my ex pretty soon after meeting him, way back when, but we ended up thick as thieves best friends and together for years. However, looking back, not having my sexual emotions added to the mix might have cleared up my head a bit more in terms of what kind of man he actually was - his perception of me didn't suffer at all, but my perception of him was severely clouded.
 
It really does depend on the man, but I say waiting is good. For me, 6 months to a year is ideal. I used to think waiting until marriage is all that, and I still think that staying "pure" is a good thing, but then again... with the divorce rate so high at 70%+, who says waiting until marriage is the best choice morally and emotionally when theres a 70% chance that you'll get screwed over, you know? Just wait until you feel you're ready and you can do it with no regrets. Like someone else said, if you have everything else together, he'll respect you. But as far was waiting in general, I think it's necessary so the guy focuses on YOU, not the "perks" that come with being with you. Most of all, respect yourself and carry yourself well.

My view. =D
 
erokawa said:
It really does depend on the man, but I say waiting is good. For me, 6 months to a year is ideal. I used to think waiting until marriage is all that, and I still think that staying "pure" is a good thing, but then again... with the divorce rate so high at 70%+, who says waiting until marriage is the best choice morally and emotionally when theres a 70% chance that you'll get screwed over, you know? Just wait until you feel you're ready and you can do it with no regrets. Like someone else said, if you have everything else together, he'll respect you. But as far was waiting in general, I think it's necessary so the guy focuses on YOU, not the "perks" that come with being with you. Most of all, respect yourself and carry yourself well.

My view. =D
Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing!
 
MsNadi said:
I feel like this thread is wishful thinking (not the thread itself but our responses).

The only way we'll know if men respect you more if you wait is if WE ASK THEM. Not us and our perspectives, but them.

My personal opinion - I think WHEN you decide to sleep with a man has little to do with whether or not you respects you. Because if you're that 100% together sister that he's always dreamed of having by his side, sleeping with him the first or second night isn't going to change the fact that you represent all that he "claims" to want in a woman. At the same time, if you're not what he wants and you wait 8 months to sleep with him (assuming you actually lasted that long), the fact still remains - you are not what he wants. Sex on the first date or night. Sure he might keep you around to have fun with, but at the end of the day, you are what he wants.

...hey, I'm just "keepin it real".
Click to expand...

I totally agree with you!!!
 
A woman's 'Virtue' is her gift; her value and her right. It is a rare and precious jewel and once given, it can never be retrieved.

As one would protect life itsself, so should one woman protect her Virtue. It's not given freely; nor is it given for 'free'. One must 'earn' the right to even touch her in any manner or form known 'intimate' or even speak the words leading to such.

"Allow" the man 'learn and earn' you, first. Take your time. Why hurry if he's the wrong one to be with in the first place. It's not about those who waited and still dumped neither is about those who did not wait and were not dumped. It's about being with the right one.

Then...only then, when the heart of this man has been established, release the gift of you one jewel at a time. For a rare a precious jewel you are; unflawed in beauty; unflawed in being 'spread' around like rhinetstones without shimmer, or a watered down fragrance; a fragrance which doesn't last.

Treat your Virtue as if it were a 1000-caret Diamond surrounded by Rubies and Sapphires, Emeralds and the rarest of Pearls. Treat it as you would your hair, your crowing glory. The same care which we here give our hair, care more for your Virtue. For like our hair, we went through much to nurture and protect it in order for it to grow and retain it. Such is our Virtue...Priceless! Such are we, Priceless! Such is Love with the right one who earns you.... :heart2:
 
Shimmie said:
A woman's 'Virtue' is her gift; her value and her right. It is a rare and precious jewel and once given, it can never be retrieved.

As one would protect life itsself, so should one woman protect her Virtue. It's not given freely; nor is it given for 'free'. One must 'earn' the right to even touch her in any manner or form known 'intimate' or even speak the words leading to such.

"Allow" the man 'learn and earn' you, first. Take your time. Why hurry if he's the wrong one to be with in the first place. It's not about those who waited and still dumped neither is about those who did not wait and were not dumped. It's about being with the right one.

Then...only then, when the heart of this man has been established, release the gift of you one jewel at a time. For a rare a precious jewel you are; unflawed in beauty; unflawed in being 'spread' around like rhinetstones without shimmer, or a watered down fragrance; a fragrance which doesn't last.

Treat your Virtue as if it were a 1000-caret Diamond surrounded by Rubies and Sapphires, Emeralds and the rarest of Pearls. Treat it as you would your hair, your crowing glory. The same care which we here give our hair, care more for your Virtue. For like our hair, we went through much to nurture and protect it in order for it to grow and retain it. Such is our Virtue...Priceless! Such are we, Priceless! Such is Love with the right one who earns you.... :heart2:
Click to expand...

Beautiful as always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Yes. However, how long should depend on the two people. I won't go into my personal choice on the matter because it would distract from my main point. IMO, women complain a lot about relationships and how men treat them, but rarely look at their actions in the situation. If something keeps happening then maybe one needs to look at their actions.

I think it's best to consider the advice of men in our own lives we trust. Contrary to our hopes, men think differently from us. IME and the advice I have received from the men in my life who have spoken candidly; any man who gets it too soon is going to assume all the guys got it that soon. Who values anything they get easily?
The "I don't normally do this" line has been overused, it rarely works on men anymore. I've heard man laugh about this line as the "guilty good girl excuse". I do think it's possible for two people to click so strongly that having sex soon doesn't damage their relationship. Every woman has to decide for herself what makes her comfortable and works for her, but be honest about how men view certain decisions.

I don't view things in a puritanical, condemning manner. I don't believe it assigning women shame and guilt, but my body is VERY valuable to me and my choices reflect that. Sex takes life energy and I have no desire to drop the kitty on a man who won't call me back the next week, who will pretend he doesn't know me after a few rounds or turns out has a wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend. The best way to prevent that, IMO is to get to know the man. For all I know a man could be nasty as hell, I don't want to take the chance of letting some dirty penis into my body or finding out he's mean, a weirdo, crazy, etc. You are what you eat and what you allow to enter your body. WE determine our value, no one else.
 
SleekandBouncy said:
Yes. However, how long should depend on the two people. I won't go into my personal choice on the matter because it would distract from my main point. IMO, women complain a lot about relationships and how men treat them, but rarely look at their actions in the situation. If something keeps happening then maybe one needs to look at their actions.

I think it's best to consider the advice of men in our own lives we trust. Contrary to our hopes, men think differently from us. IME and the advice I have received from the men in my life who have spoken candidly; any man who gets it too soon is going to assume all the guys got it that soon. Who values anything they get easily?
The "I don't normally do this" line has been overused, it rarely works on men anymore. I've heard man laugh about this line as the "guilty good girl excuse". I do think it's possible for two people to click so strongly that having sex soon doesn't damage their relationship. Every woman has to decide for herself what makes her comfortable and works for her, but be honest about how men view certain decisions.

I don't view things in a puritanical, condemning manner. I don't believe it assigning women shame and guilt, but my body is VERY valuable to me and my choices reflect that. Sex takes life energy and I have no desire to drop the kitty on a man who won't call me back the next week, who will pretend he doesn't know me after a few rounds or turns out has a wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend. The best way to prevent that, IMO is to get to know the man. For all I know a man could be nasty as hell, I don't want to take the chance of letting some dirty penis into my body or finding out he's mean, a weirdo, crazy, etc. You are what you eat and what you allow to enter your body. WE determine our value, no one else.
Click to expand...

:weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird::weird:
 
Shimmie said:
A woman's 'Virtue' is her gift; her value and her right. It is a rare and precious jewel and once given, it can never be retrieved.

As one would protect life itsself, so should one woman protect her Virtue. It's not given freely; nor is it given for 'free'. One must 'earn' the right to even touch her in any manner or form known 'intimate' or even speak the words leading to such.

"Allow" the man 'learn and earn' you, first. Take your time. Why hurry if he's the wrong one to be with in the first place. It's not about those who waited and still dumped neither is about those who did not wait and were not dumped. It's about being with the right one.

Then...only then, when the heart of this man has been established, release the gift of you one jewel at a time. For a rare a precious jewel you are; unflawed in beauty; unflawed in being 'spread' around like rhinetstones without shimmer, or a watered down fragrance; a fragrance which doesn't last.

Treat your Virtue as if it were a 1000-caret Diamond surrounded by Rubies and Sapphires, Emeralds and the rarest of Pearls. Treat it as you would your hair, your crowing glory. The same care which we here give our hair, care more for your Virtue. For like our hair, we went through much to nurture and protect it in order for it to grow and retain it. Such is our Virtue...Priceless! Such are we, Priceless! Such is Love with the right one who earns you.... :heart2:
Click to expand...

:thankyou:
 
Bravissimo!!! :clap::woot::kisses::blowkiss::urock::waytogo::worship2::amen::thankyou::thatsall:
SleekandBouncy said:
Yes. However, how long should depend on the two people. I won't go into my personal choice on the matter because it would distract from my main point. IMO, women complain a lot about relationships and how men treat them, but rarely look at their actions in the situation. If something keeps happening then maybe one needs to look at their actions.

I think it's best to consider the advice of men in our own lives we trust. Contrary to our hopes, men think differently from us. IME and the advice I have received from the men in my life who have spoken candidly; any man who gets it too soon is going to assume all the guys got it that soon. Who values anything they get easily?
The "I don't normally do this" line has been overused, it rarely works on men anymore. I've heard man laugh about this line as the "guilty good girl excuse". I do think it's possible for two people to click so strongly that having sex soon doesn't damage their relationship. Every woman has to decide for herself what makes her comfortable and works for her, but be honest about how men view certain decisions.

I don't view things in a puritanical, condemning manner. I don't believe it assigning women shame and guilt, but my body is VERY valuable to me and my choices reflect that. Sex takes life energy and I have no desire to drop the kitty on a man who won't call me back the next week, who will pretend he doesn't know me after a few rounds or turns out has a wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend. The best way to prevent that, IMO is to get to know the man. For all I know a man could be nasty as hell, I don't want to take the chance of letting some dirty penis into my body or finding out he's mean, a weirdo, crazy, etc. You are what you eat and what you allow to enter your body. WE determine our value, no one else.
Click to expand...
 
caligirl said:
I totally agree. But at the same time I don't think that my vagina should be put on some pedestal. Remember "don't put the P#### on a pedestal!" lol
Click to expand...

:lachen:Mine should be put in a glass case to be seen and adored!!! There is an admission charge to just view her!:yep: For those that know me, no dude can just run up in this.:grin:
 
Princess4real said:
:lachen:Mine should be put in a glass case to be seen and adored!!! There is an admission charge to just view her!:yep: For those that know me, no dude can just run up in this.:grin:
Click to expand...

Are you kidding? It's a part of our body just like any other. We have just chosen to attach special significance to it. Kinda OT, but do you ever wonder why cerain part of our bodies are considered "private." I was trying to explain this to a little kid one day and I couldn't quite explain why certain body parts are private.
 
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