Do I owe her the Money?

[Bublin]

Sarah works in a different team in a different building.
She asked my team if we would like to join her team's xmas lunch.
2 of us initially said yes.
I agreed with her that she would book our place in the restaurant and I would pay my deposit seperately (i was to call the restaurant and pay over the phone).

I now can't make it but hadn't gotten round to telling her but thought everything would be fine because no deposit was paid.

Today she called my colleague and told her that she had paid our £10 deposits.

I am pi**ed because that's not what we agreed. Yes, it was a kind gesture but she made it very clear that she couldn't afford to pay our deposits in the first place.

Whar do you think? Should I just give her the money back?

 

[GoldenRule]

When is it? Is it too late for her to call, change the number and recoup the deposits?

 

[OhTall1]

I am pi**ed because that's not what we agreed.

Honestly, Sarah would be justified in having the same POV. You agreed to go, changed your mind and then didn't tell her. Meanwhile, she's trying to finalize the details for lunch.

When is it? Is it too late for her to call, change the number and recoup the deposits?

This is a good solution. If it was a deposit, then maybe Sarah can use that money towards her final bill.

 

[FlowerHair]

How late did you cancel?

 

[Mai Tai]

You didn't agree on her paying the deposits but she didn't agree on you not coming. Neither one of ya'll are communicating with each other effectively.

If you want to keep your relationship on good terms, I would call her to cancel, and offer to pay your portion anyway.

 

[LiftedUp]

Sarah was wrong. You didn't ask her to pay your deposit and she should've called and ask your permission first before spending the money.

I think that a solution would be for her to call the restaurant and ask if the deposit could be contributed to her lunch. If not and the professional relationship with her and within your company is worth salvaging, then you're probably out of 10 pounds.

 

[hopeful]

I agree with Mai Tai and LiftedUp. They both make good points. She shouldn't have paid for you without speaking to you first. But on the other hand, she was probably excited about coordinating and wanted to make sure everything went smoothly. Also, I wonder how you can know for sure she paid? All that said, if it were me, I'd just give her the money and let it go. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant no harm and that it was all a simple misunderstanding. To me it's not worth going back and forth and fussing over 10 pounds. I would tell her that I was sorry I couldn't make the event and confirm that she does indeed need to be repaid (maybe she will have figured something out?), and then pay her promptly without any hassle. No use in making her feel bad or possibly creating an enemy in the workplace. One day she may repay you the favor of being kind.

 

[Naveah2050]

Not to be brash but it's only 10 I would just give it to her and call it a day and maybe never make plans with her again.

 

[ThickHair]

I agree with Mai Tai and LiftedUp. They both make good points. She shouldn't have paid for you without speaking to you first. But on the other hand, she was probably excited about coordinating and wanted to make sure everything went smoothly. Also, I wonder how you can know for sure she paid? All that said, if it were me, I'd just give her the money and let it go. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant no harm and that it was all a simple misunderstanding. To me it's not worth going back and forth and fussing over 10 pounds. I would tell her that I was sorry I couldn't make the event and confirm that she does indeed need to be repaid (maybe she will have figured something out?), and then pay her promptly without any hassle. No use in making her feel bad or possibly creating an enemy in the workplace. One day she may repay you the favor of being kind.

As usual, hopeful is on point. ITA

 

[LiftedUp]

I dislike poor planners, if you're planning something, do it well or don't do it at all

I plan a Christmas dinner every year and some pay in full up front and some repay me on the day (we're scattered all over). However, it is made clear that if you agree to come and request that I pay for you, if you change your mind then you still have to pay me in full. It is in writing either via e-mail or Facebook and there is absolutely no confusion.

 

[hopeful]

But there was poor planning on both parts. If Bublin had just gotten back to her in time and cancelled there would be no problem. Or better yet, said no thank you in the first place. In life people drop the ball and make mistakes sometimes. Nobody's perfect. We should cut ourselves and others some slack sometimes IMO.

 

[LiftedUp]

^^^ I would never pay for someone unless they explicitly ask me to or we explicitly agree that I would pay and he/she will repay. Otherwise, I'd be responsible.

 

[sunnieb]

I personally feel Sarah should eat the 10 pounds, but at the same time, I would take partial responsibility for not getting back to get after my initial acceptance.

Just pay her the money for the sake of office harmony.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using LHCF

 

[nlamr2013]

I'd give her half. Tall were both wrong. You for deciding not to go but not bothering to let them know you weren't going her for jumping the gun and giving them the money

 

[TayMac]

I would agree to pay 1/2. You all did not have a firm agreement however you neglected to inform her in a timely manner that you could not come.

 

[Bublin]

Long story short instead of playing email ping pong I picked up the phone.

She agreed that what she did wasn't part of the plan.
She called the venue and they refunded the money. It was for next Tuesday.
This woman, Ive been told has a reputation for doing what she wants and screw everyone else.

Oh it's £10 not $10.

We don't work together or in the same building...we share the same Manager.

I completely forgot to cancel with her and Im usually on the ball so I do accept my part.

Also, she got our Manager to go back to the venue and pay our deposits...so it wasn't even her money and I would have owed him!

Thanks for the replies everyone.

 

[nlamr2013]

What if it was that easy to get a refund why did she come to you Like she spent her last pounds paying your deposit lol glad it worked out op

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm glad it worked out but this is a good lesson for others.
Just because YOU believe YOU are doing something good, doesn't mean it
actually is.


They are both wrong but I put more blame on the person who paid without permission. How did she know you hadn't paid? If she found out other than from your mouth, why didn't she check to see if you were 1) still going 2) if there was another reason why you hadn't paid.
The agreement was for HER to book and you to PAY. She booked AND paid. It doesn't seem to me that you broke the agreement. Perhaps your action was inconsiderate for not cancelling early on BUT was there a deadline for cancellation? If not, where did you go wrong? And why should there be a financial penalty for being inconsiderate? (debatable I guess lol) What's the etiquette on things like this? And to make it worse she asked someone ELSE to pay for you? What if you weren't comfortable with that NEW arrangement? I do not like people taking liberties with my money or time! Mind you, I can see myself getting caught like this and doing what Sarah did. So hopeful is right maybe a little understanding is warranted but on who's part?


That being said, I'd pay and come and ***** on LHCF just to keep the peace at work and I'd let her know I'm paying for it but really I shouldn't....


But wouldn't it be nice if she offered to pay half?! Hmm.


Interesting....and no more xmas arrangements for you young lady! j/k

 

[Bublin]

There wasn't a deadline for paying the balance....well before next Tuesday lunchtime.