PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I'm so confused. We've gotten to the nitty gritty. It is ten months before our wedding and I don't frankly know if I want to go through with it or not.
I have a great man. He is smart. Great career. Ladies swooooon when they find out he's an engineer and tell me, "I did good." He treats me very well. He has never left me during my deepest times where I needed him the most. He is a family man. He loves being around my family and my family loves him. What I ask for he will get even if he doesn't have the funds
Buuuuut it's so many factors that I'm trying to figure out are they my deal breakers or am I just being a petty 26 year old that doesn't understand the world out there
He is not financially stable to me. I make roughly $1000 less than him monthly but he is the one that does not save, seems to have trouble with bills, and it seems really doesn't wang my help when it comes to finances. His credit is bad. Mine is good. He doesn't sabe well. The only reason I'm able to save tho is cause he splits our bills. I complain that as a married couple we need to talk finances and he seems open to the idea but we never go thru with it. We got into an argument months ago about me discovering he has less than 2000 in the bank despite him making over 50000 yearly. To this day he still doesn't save. The reasons he said is because he sacrificed a lot for me.
He moved out from his mothers house to a house with me. His job is 10 min from his mothers house but one hour from our house. He commutes. As soon as he got his nice job he bought a new car (not flashy but in my head to expensive for HIM) racking up 1000 of expenses ($400 note 150 insurance $300 in gas) he also pays half the mortgage and pay Adt comcast and water. When we moved he agreed he could pay these bills. Now I see he's behind on the Adt bill. The cable had a notice saying he's $200 behind and he just now is paying water it was due last week. Water and day are in my name. He still has to pay on my ring. He claims it's not he can't pay but he forgets to pay the bill.
I try not to b petty because many guys are not good with money. And I do realize he racked up a lot of bills for ME (200 monthly for the ring 400 mortgage 300 cable/Adt/water 300 gas commuting 400 reliable truck that's half of his paycheck for me) but I didn't ask him to. I was fine with us living separate. He chose to move here. In many relationships I see the man give the woman his portion if the money since she us usually better at these things than a man.
He's a slob. I have to ask him to help around the house. Not beg but ask. But I hate asking. You see the house is a mess just like I do. Why can't you help clean up without me asking? Instead of washing clothes he will wear the same pants days and days until I do them. He can see things broken around the house and they don't get fixed or mentioned about. Everything is fine UNTIL I SAY SOMETHING. He will do it or fix it when I say something but until then nada. I feel that without my voice all these little things would add up and make bigger things. He feels I don't give him a chance to do these things. He's not going to jump and do things as soon as it happens like me because frankly I don't thing he has the funds or know how.
Doesn't keep up appearance
I know a woman can't look for swag to pay the bills or be there but dang take care of yourself. I wang him to do the basics. Keep a haircut and iron his clothes. You are a professional. He is a country boy and his appearance matters to him but His money matters more. He'd rather do his own haircut rather than pay for it because it's "too expensive and his hair grows fast" but he doesn't know how to properly line or shape. So I can b slayed to the gods and he looks like a damn grizzly bear. It's embarrassing. My friends talk about him (like say dang u know u could have told him to get a haircut or wtf does he have on) and I never know what to say cuz it's true. Should I say my man looks good even though it's been three weeks since his last haircut?
He is a pushover in my head. We go bAck n forth about it. He says he is not a pushover but doesn't fight a battle that a girl doesn't want to b fought. Like I've had guys flirt with me in front of him. I don't want him to fight or b rude but instead give the impression I am his step off. His rebuttal is why would I say something and you're smiling when they flirt and don't verbally say something for yourself. Other instances are like when I have company over and they park in his spot. Instead of saying hey this is my spot. He says I should speak up and say this is my mans spot. Move. When I say I want to be taken out on a date he never plans it out it is always " whatever you want to do bae" when we went to counseling and times were rough and she would ask do u want to stay in the relationship he always says "well if depends in if she still wants me" he never has an opinion. It's whatever I want. He says he's assertive in other ways like when he tells me to do things around the house. I take it as whining. He is really unselfish though.
I mean that commendable right? But annoying? I want someone who is not that darn nice all the time and "unselfish" to actually have their own opinion about things around them.
Church. I have relocated because he claims my church wasn't inviting and he's in my life (moved to my city, my friends, my fam) but. It kinda like pulling teeth to get him to go even now. He makes excuses like "I wouldn't really know what to wear or I didn't know these clothes were appropriate or you weren't at the house so I assumed u weren't going. Like call me dude and ask. And I kinda want someone who will light fire to my butt and b assertive like Bad where are you? While u are out with your friends I hope u have on nice clothes so we can go to church. I want it a two way street not just a when PRISS goes to church I will too
I hTe being the leader in this relationship. He causes me to verbally mean to him and go "in" to small things such as him forgetting to take out the trash or forgetting to buy me a graduation present, or not speaking up but whining to me. We haven't planned the wedding. He waits on me. He doesn't even have any idea on his groomsmen. He doesn't have any friends. He has seriously two friends. They live an hour away and are bums to me. He always has to go to them. They never come here because of funds.
I see it all the time. You don't ask questions you already know the answer to but should I leave? It's hard tho. I've built this little life. The dog. The house. The couple together three years. I hate to pull away from it all and then figure out 5 years later I was being petty and won't find another that loves me unconditionally and would sacrifice anything to make me happy.
Should I just do more? Iron. Take on finances. Make him get a haircut. Remind him to take out the trash. Keep urging him to church.
Should I accept that guys do not exist and with the next guy he may b assertive but have other problems I don't like (kids, financial problems, not as high on the career pole as I)
Should I focus on me? But how do u do that and better myself while living with a guy.
Do I just have cold feet?
I absolutely don't know.
I have a great man. He is smart. Great career. Ladies swooooon when they find out he's an engineer and tell me, "I did good." He treats me very well. He has never left me during my deepest times where I needed him the most. He is a family man. He loves being around my family and my family loves him. What I ask for he will get even if he doesn't have the funds
Buuuuut it's so many factors that I'm trying to figure out are they my deal breakers or am I just being a petty 26 year old that doesn't understand the world out there
He is not financially stable to me. I make roughly $1000 less than him monthly but he is the one that does not save, seems to have trouble with bills, and it seems really doesn't wang my help when it comes to finances. His credit is bad. Mine is good. He doesn't sabe well. The only reason I'm able to save tho is cause he splits our bills. I complain that as a married couple we need to talk finances and he seems open to the idea but we never go thru with it. We got into an argument months ago about me discovering he has less than 2000 in the bank despite him making over 50000 yearly. To this day he still doesn't save. The reasons he said is because he sacrificed a lot for me.
He moved out from his mothers house to a house with me. His job is 10 min from his mothers house but one hour from our house. He commutes. As soon as he got his nice job he bought a new car (not flashy but in my head to expensive for HIM) racking up 1000 of expenses ($400 note 150 insurance $300 in gas) he also pays half the mortgage and pay Adt comcast and water. When we moved he agreed he could pay these bills. Now I see he's behind on the Adt bill. The cable had a notice saying he's $200 behind and he just now is paying water it was due last week. Water and day are in my name. He still has to pay on my ring. He claims it's not he can't pay but he forgets to pay the bill.
I try not to b petty because many guys are not good with money. And I do realize he racked up a lot of bills for ME (200 monthly for the ring 400 mortgage 300 cable/Adt/water 300 gas commuting 400 reliable truck that's half of his paycheck for me) but I didn't ask him to. I was fine with us living separate. He chose to move here. In many relationships I see the man give the woman his portion if the money since she us usually better at these things than a man.
He's a slob. I have to ask him to help around the house. Not beg but ask. But I hate asking. You see the house is a mess just like I do. Why can't you help clean up without me asking? Instead of washing clothes he will wear the same pants days and days until I do them. He can see things broken around the house and they don't get fixed or mentioned about. Everything is fine UNTIL I SAY SOMETHING. He will do it or fix it when I say something but until then nada. I feel that without my voice all these little things would add up and make bigger things. He feels I don't give him a chance to do these things. He's not going to jump and do things as soon as it happens like me because frankly I don't thing he has the funds or know how.
Doesn't keep up appearance
I know a woman can't look for swag to pay the bills or be there but dang take care of yourself. I wang him to do the basics. Keep a haircut and iron his clothes. You are a professional. He is a country boy and his appearance matters to him but His money matters more. He'd rather do his own haircut rather than pay for it because it's "too expensive and his hair grows fast" but he doesn't know how to properly line or shape. So I can b slayed to the gods and he looks like a damn grizzly bear. It's embarrassing. My friends talk about him (like say dang u know u could have told him to get a haircut or wtf does he have on) and I never know what to say cuz it's true. Should I say my man looks good even though it's been three weeks since his last haircut?
He is a pushover in my head. We go bAck n forth about it. He says he is not a pushover but doesn't fight a battle that a girl doesn't want to b fought. Like I've had guys flirt with me in front of him. I don't want him to fight or b rude but instead give the impression I am his step off. His rebuttal is why would I say something and you're smiling when they flirt and don't verbally say something for yourself. Other instances are like when I have company over and they park in his spot. Instead of saying hey this is my spot. He says I should speak up and say this is my mans spot. Move. When I say I want to be taken out on a date he never plans it out it is always " whatever you want to do bae" when we went to counseling and times were rough and she would ask do u want to stay in the relationship he always says "well if depends in if she still wants me" he never has an opinion. It's whatever I want. He says he's assertive in other ways like when he tells me to do things around the house. I take it as whining. He is really unselfish though.
I mean that commendable right? But annoying? I want someone who is not that darn nice all the time and "unselfish" to actually have their own opinion about things around them.
Church. I have relocated because he claims my church wasn't inviting and he's in my life (moved to my city, my friends, my fam) but. It kinda like pulling teeth to get him to go even now. He makes excuses like "I wouldn't really know what to wear or I didn't know these clothes were appropriate or you weren't at the house so I assumed u weren't going. Like call me dude and ask. And I kinda want someone who will light fire to my butt and b assertive like Bad where are you? While u are out with your friends I hope u have on nice clothes so we can go to church. I want it a two way street not just a when PRISS goes to church I will too
I hTe being the leader in this relationship. He causes me to verbally mean to him and go "in" to small things such as him forgetting to take out the trash or forgetting to buy me a graduation present, or not speaking up but whining to me. We haven't planned the wedding. He waits on me. He doesn't even have any idea on his groomsmen. He doesn't have any friends. He has seriously two friends. They live an hour away and are bums to me. He always has to go to them. They never come here because of funds.
I see it all the time. You don't ask questions you already know the answer to but should I leave? It's hard tho. I've built this little life. The dog. The house. The couple together three years. I hate to pull away from it all and then figure out 5 years later I was being petty and won't find another that loves me unconditionally and would sacrifice anything to make me happy.
Should I just do more? Iron. Take on finances. Make him get a haircut. Remind him to take out the trash. Keep urging him to church.
Should I accept that guys do not exist and with the next guy he may b assertive but have other problems I don't like (kids, financial problems, not as high on the career pole as I)
Should I focus on me? But how do u do that and better myself while living with a guy.
Do I just have cold feet?
I absolutely don't know.
) and it's just something we had to come to an agreement on. He had to bend my way some and I had to bend his way some. 
plus it gives her better control of the household finances. 
. You just have to set expectations and house rules for you both to follow. 
