It was very hard. People in the know thought it would be a piece of cake for me since I sought the divorce but it wasn't. I am not going to lie to you, I cried daily the first year of our seperation. I kept it together long enough to go to work, but after work, I was a mess. I had started counseling soon after the seperation and that did help some even though I was still a mess.
Little by little, each day got better. I started finding the positives about my situation. I read self help books and positive literature. I had constant support from my family and they let me rant in a safe environment. I never did the man bashing with my GF's. I didn't tell them about the seperation until way later. One day I realized that I had not cried in over him in a week, then a month then several months.
Tensions where high between the ex and I, because I wanted to talk about what went wrong and he didn't. Finally I said "F" it. Once I received that decree in 2007, I exhaled and smiled. Now the ex and I can talk about everything under the sun except what went wrong in our marriage. I am ok with that. I received closure in my own way. No, I do not want him back. Plus, I never did sex with the ex, which helped a lot. I stopped having sex with him 8 months before I ask for the seperation. Now if he touched me I think I would have the hebbie jebbies.
You have to make due your own way, I just would like to caution you to not let too many people into your private greiving area, because some people, mainly women, will take that opportunity to dog your ex out. Even when things were at it's worst I never dogged my ex out. No need to dog him out if I was going to stay. I hate when folks talk trash on their mate, but stay with them. Yes, the ex and I didn't work out, I think he would make a great husband for some other woman.
ETA: I went to grad school because I had too much time on my hands, I didn't have children.
