I'm finally divorced - shoutout to LHCF.

[Ladybelle]

I had drinks yesterday with a woman who was newly divorced. She was celebrating.

It really makes me thank God that as much as I want to be married, I need to pray that God places me in the path of the right man.

I've been tempted to throw a party, not to celebrate my divorce but to celebrate being a survivor. I haven't finalized my decision yet. And, amen to ou praying that you are placed in the path of the RIGHT man & not be blinded by your desire to get married. That is very important. It's better to wait and marry the right man, than to rush and marry the wrong one. I pray your King finds you!

I love the bolded! I know what you mean. You are FREEEEEE! Free to be the outstanding YOU that you always were without anyone fighting to take it away again!

I'm so happy to hear that you KNOW in your heart of hearts there is no turning back. I left my exH four times before I finally left for good and when I left for good that day....I KNEW I was friggin DONE! It's so funny, I was just telling a friend earlier today....my exH and I, when we are in the same space for the children, it's cool now. And, generally for the most part, I don't think about the past....but last weekend, he and I were together all weekend for the children (my DS had an activity that we both needed to be at) and the conversations we were having....just reminded me once again how LITTLE he and I have in common. I mean, he's not even my TYPE ! What the hell was I *THINKING*? I just had to chuckle to myself and think, "Really, ~Charlotte?, Really? Seriously?" Because he's not even the type of person I even jibe with. Why I could not see that prior to marrying him, I have no idea....or, rather, why I refused to accept it...IDK.

But, nevertheless, I got two amazing and very beautiful children out of the deal. And, YOU my dear, will have a lifetime of pride and joy from your babies and because you took back yourself from a situation that was beneath you, you get a very special and very real DO-OVER. Make the most of it and ENJOY IT!

I totally understand, especially the bolded. I haven't gotten to the place where I can truly put my entire marriage in perspective, but I have wondered did he change or did I not see who he really was? I guess time will answer that question. You say it took you four times to leave, it took me 7 times which just happens to be the same number that statistics say it takes a woman to finally leave a bad situation. Thank God for another chance, some women don't live to see that chance. There was just an article in glamour magazine talking about the very real dangers of domestic violence, 1 in 4 women will be in an abusive relationship in her lifetime,it's disheartening to say the least.

You are so funny, I LOL @ "really Charlotte, really?" I ask myself that sometimes. My Dad told me that it is a very good thing that even the most jacked up people can make beautiful,intelligent children. I was like is that a compliment or an insult?

God bless you and your children. You are strong.

People keep telling me that I'm strong, I don't see it. I really didn't have a choice and I guess you find out how strong you are during times of weakness. If I am indeed strong, my strength comes from the Lord and the support system he has provided me with, without the support I couldn't have saw my way out. Thanks for the blessings & encouragement!!

 

[WhoIAm]

I've been tempted to throw a party, not to celebrate my divorce but to celebrate being a survivor. I haven't finalized my decision yet. And, amen to ou praying that you are placed in the path of the RIGHT man & not be blinded by your desire to get married. That is very important. It's better to wait and marry the right man, than to rush and marry the wrong one. I pray your King finds you!



I totally understand, especially the bolded. I haven't gotten to the place where I can truly put my entire marriage in perspective, but I have wondered did he change or did I not see who he really was? I guess time will answer that question. You say it took you four times to leave, it took me 7 times which just happens to be the same number that statistics say it takes a woman to finally leave a bad situation. Thank God for another chance, some women don't live to see that chance. There was just an article in glamour magazine talking about the very real dangers of domestic violence, 1 in 4 women will be in an abusive relationship in her lifetime,it's disheartening to say the least.

You are so funny, I LOL @ "really Charlotte, really?" I ask myself that sometimes. My Dad told me that it is a very good thing that even the most jacked up people can make beautiful,intelligent children. I was like is that a compliment or an insult?



People keep telling me that I'm strong, I don't see it. I really didn't have a choice and I guess you find out how strong you are during times of weakness. If I am indeed strong, my strength comes from the Lord and the support system he has provided me with, without the support I couldn't have saw my way out. Thanks for the blessings & encouragement!!

First bolded is soooo key. In every relationship that's a question that needs to be answered really honestly. Sometimes the answer may be tough to swallow.

Second bolded. You are strong. In the midst of your situation, you are too busy trying to survive to think about it. Years from now, when you look back and say "I don't know how I did it", you'll realize how strong you are. Trust me.

 

[jerseygurl]

I'm just now seeing this thread. Congratulations Asuperwoman (that's your name, claim it)! I remember some of your threads and when you had your baby. I'm happy you got away from that man and you are in a better place.

Your story could easily be any of ours and I thank God that you and your children made it.

 

[prettynatural]

I am happy for you and may God continue to bless you and your children

Sent from my SCH-I400 using SCH-I400

 

[Ladybelle]

I'm just now seeing this thread. Congratulations Asuperwoman (that's your name, claim it)! I remember some of your threads and when you had your baby. I'm happy you got away from that man and you are in a better place.

Your story could easily be any of ours and I thank God that you and your children made it.

You are right about that, I need to see about changing my name back. I appreciate your kindness & support.

First bolded is soooo key. In every relationship that's a question that needs to be answered really honestly. Sometimes the answer may be tough to swallow.

Second bolded. You are strong. In the midst of your situation, you are too busy trying to survive to think about it. Years from now, when you look back and say "I don't know how I did it", you'll realize how strong you are. Trust me.

@ 1st bolded, it really can be a tough pill to swallow. But, it is an answer that I have to definitely know & resolve so that I will never be in a situation like that again. I know that some of my weaknesses were being naive and insecure. @ 2nd bolded,You're probably right, there are some other things I look back on and ask myself the same thing.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I never thought this thread would come, but it's finally here. I am officially, legally divorced. It was a long, tumultuous road. For safety reasons, the thread(s) I started about my situation last year were deleted. I was in an abusive relationship and I have to tell you all, that some of you ladies here contributed to my strength, my will, my desire, and my ability to get out of my marriage. Some of you guided me, pm'd me and shared your stories with me. Some of you reached out to me and I even made a new friend or two and for that I am eternally grateful.

I would like to especially thank:

@~Charlotte*York~-your encouragement & your story helped me tremendously.
@ThatJerseyGirl - even though that thread was deleted, the advice & wisdome you gave me helped me to not only get out, but stay out. I remember asking you, "how do I know he won't change" and your response was something like "cuz still water run deep chile". And I tell you, that helped me to focus on reality instead of the fantasy I had about making my marriage work.
@BullGirl2010- you and I were >>>here<<<. You will never know how much you helped me through.
@Spring you listened to me, you heard me, you helped me and you were just a source Christian inspiration.
@MyAngelEyez~C~U - You were the first person to reach out to me and give me advice, a few years ago when I wrote the first thread about my situation and said it was "my friend." You saw through that and reached out to me.
@MissMasala5,@serenitypeace,@ambergirl, you ladies reached out to me despite our political beliefs, despite some conflict that had occurred in the political forum (thanks to my exdh) and I just really appreciate you all being able to see past all of that and reach out to me.
@justicefighter1913- you pm'd me and showed genuine empathy & concern - so I thank you.
@Guitarhero - you were so real and genuine in your advice to me and I needed the confidence you had, it helped me tremendously
@Supergirl, you just sent me a pm, and an e-hug as several other ladies did, but you don't know how the little things like that can make a world of difference to someone who is going through something, so thank you so much.

There are several others who contributed to the thread, but I can't remember your names. To each and every one of you - I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I made it through just fine. And, I'm so glad I got out. My kids and I are doing sooooooo much better and things keep getting better.

Just in the short time since I left my husband (September 23rd, 2010)

-i have gotten a new car
-fixed my credit
-got pre-approval on a new home
-got a job promotion & a raise
-will be relocating to another state via this promotion & raise
-I have gotten my inner peace back & that in itself is worth more than anything else in my life. It's so good to come home & not have to walk on eggshells.

So, I know I can do this. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth every single tear, hurt & dollar.

Again - thank you all. And a million hugs to you all. (((((Hugs)))))


As for the divorce details:

-I got sole custody of the kids, my exdh didn't try to fight me in court because he has to protect his precious political reputation.
-I got all the other basic stuff a married woman with kids get: child support, life insurance, college tuition, etc.
-We were only married for 4 years, so in my state no alimony.
-he kept the house, he had it before we got married & I didn't want it.I could have gotten it though. That house to me is like a constant reminder of the pain me & my kids endured there. I wanted nothing to do with it, I'm moving anyway.


Oh, and maybe some of you don't remember who I am, my old username was asuperwoman- if that helps jog your memories.

I came into this sub-forum just to check on you and the woman in Canada. I am so glad things worked out for you and the kids.

As for the bold... things always get better when you release those things that are dragging you down!

 

[WhoIAm]

I came into this sub-forum just to check on you and the woman in Canada. I am so glad things worked out for you and the kids.

As for the bold... things always get better when you release those things that are dragging you down!

The lady in Canada is @shineyBlackHair. I hope she's doing okay. I haven't seen her around recently.

 

[Ladybelle]

The lady in Canada is @shineyBlackHair. I hope she's doing okay. I haven't seen her around recently.

I hope shinyblackhair is doing okay too, haven't heard from or seen her on LHCF in awhile.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[BullGirl2010]

Ladybelle "People keep telling me that I'm strong, I don't see it. I really didn't have a choice and I guess you find out how strong you are during times of weakness. If I am indeed strong, my strength comes from the Lord and the support system he has provided me with, without the support I couldn't have saw my way out. Thanks for the blessings & encouragement!!" You are indeed very strong, my friend. Very strong!!

 

[prettygrl]

Thank u for posting this. Gave me some courage today at my divorce hearing.