Did you find true love after heartbreak?

SurferBabe

Well-Known Member
Is it possible? How did it happen and how did it change your outlook on love and romance? I keep feeling like after my last heartbreak, I'll never find the right one--or I'll get stuck with another non-quality guy. I need something to keep me believing that it can happen.
 
That pretty much sums it up, but I am still going to be FABULOUS.

I don't even see the point ThickHair. I swear i've always been invisible to decent, eligible men. I only make an effort when i go to work because i have to.
 
I don't even see the point ThickHair. I swear i've always been invisible to decent, eligible men. I only make an effort when i go to work because i have to.

This is me exactly. For some reason I only attract the ones who want a friends with benefits, nothing serious type a relationship. I don't get it, I'm through with relationships and dating like i cant anymore. Rant Ova!
 
Don't give up, Ladies! If you desire a relationship/marriage it will happen.

I had a series of bad relationships and heartbreaks......

I met DH and let me tell you he was worth the wait.

We just celebrated our 1st anniversary last month.
 
Is it possible? How did it happen and how did it change your outlook on love and romance? I keep feeling like after my last heartbreak, I'll never find the right one--or I'll get stuck with another non-quality guy. I need something to keep me believing that it can happen.

Yes! I posted this before so I just copied and pasted it.
I dated the same guy from my freshman year in high school to my senior year in college. And aside from us breaking up a few times, and me going out for a night or two with other guys, he was the only boyfriend I ever had. I thought he was the one and once we graduated college he'd marry me and we'd live happily ever after. Well it never happened. I kept hoping and thinking he just needed more time but long story short it took me years to realize he just wasn't the one.

I went into a serious depression having "wasted" 8 years of my life waiting on him. I just wish I would have opened my eyes sooner to the facts that were there all along.

My depression wasn't just because of mourning the loss of that relationship but with what was going on with life in general.

It took me about a year and half before I even opened my heart to trying to date again. I did the match.com and eharmony thing but in alot of ways those sites just made it worse. I'm a nurse, so in a female dominated field, plus I work with babies, and most doctors just don't date nurses so no prospects there. I felt hopeless and just closed my heart to finding someone {else}.

I didn't feel like I had an identity without my ex so I stupidly went back to him thinking this time he would be different. Big mistake. Wasted another year thinking again he'd change but finally just had to face the facts...he just didn't love me. It was hard to let go even knowing that he just wasn't it....I didn't know anything different and I wanted him to be it.

Moved on for good but then became content with just being alone. I made my life about my family, career and traveling and that was that.

Fast forward a few years and I was in the library researching another trip I was going to take. I hadn't dated since I left my ex and wasn't even looking to date. I was minding my business when my now fiance, struck up a conversation about the travel books I was looking at. I made small talk with him but didn't think anything of it.

A few weeks went by and I ran into him again.... at the library. We talked more and eventually he asked me out. I blew him off 3 times before I finally agreed to go out with him. It was a great first date but things didn't go so smoothly after that. Dating was awkward for me, because a part of me still identified myself as I was with my ex.

But my fiance didn't give up on me and I started to relax and be myself around him. But there was another problem in that I traveled for a living for my job so while I loved having him around I still hadn't opened my heart to anything other than a friendship which made it easy for me to leave the city once it was time to move on from my job. He however, never let the distance or the wall I put up destroy our relationship. I almost ruined it. Almost.

To make a long story short I eventually realized that if I kept pushing this man away that I was going to lose him for good and would have had no one to blame but myself. I had to wake up to the fact that my ex was long gone and I was worthy and capable of being loved and loving someone else. The past was indeed the past.

We dated for a year and 4 months before he asked me to marry him. i posted our engagement story in the Wedding section.

So in my case, the person that was supposed to be in my life came and I almost didn't let him in. In my case it was so true that he showed up when and where i least expected it.

So never give up hope, I had, but I guess hope didn't give up on me. I'm the happiest I've ever been in a long, long time.
 
And here is our engagement story also posted before:


My fiance basically recreated our first date.

Earlier in the week he called me and asked me if he could take me to dinner on Friday. I said sure and he said, Great I'll pick you up at 6.

I love sunflowers so on our first date he gave me a beautiful arrangement that had sunflowers in it so for this date he did the same and on the card he wrote the same message: Looking forward to a perfect night with the most beautiful girl in the world.
We went to the same italian place to eat and then we went salsa dancing--just like our first date-- and afterwards we went out for icecream.

We went for a walk in the park and on our first night there was a live jazz band concert in the park so we stayed and listened and did a little dancing.

On this date there was no live concert so he just said, "will you dance with me". I was like there's no music to dance to and he said we don't need any, just dance with me. I was a little embarrassed but I did.

On our first date as we were leaving the park he bought me a rose that lights up that this guy was walking around selling and we went home after that.

So on this night as we were leaving the park he says he has a surprise for me. He pulls out that light up rose and says remember this? Then he said do your remember what I told you when I gave it to you. I did, he said he was the luckiest man alive.

So he got down on his knee and he said, I'm the luckiest man alive. Would you make this the perfect ending to a perfect night by becoming my wife.

He pulled out the ring and put it on my finger and said, I love you, will you marry me?

And I said yes.

Afterwards we went home and there was a big surprise engagement party he set up at my place. He even flew my 3 sisters in for the party and somehow made it happen that I got a special recorded message from my brother who was serving in Iraq at the time but couldn't be there obviously.

It was perfect. I still get teary telling that story.
 
I think I did... Let me explain

I was in an abusive relationship for about 6 years. Needless to say, I've got some issues because of it. We parted ways about 6 years ago and since then I had a couple of relationships that were basically FWB situations. (Hey, they were easy, I didn't have to commit, and was emotionally detached enough that me feelings weren't terribly hurt when things didn't pan out... Don't judge me :look:) I was online looking for a new FWB and that's where we met. Since we're both grown a lot of things were put on the table within the first week.

Fast forward to today, so far he has kept his word, deals with my issues from the past and takes care of me. And I love him for it. He wants to be the one that I can lean on, to make sure the little things in my life are straight. And the one I can trust always. He has been these thing so far and I love him for it.

I don't know if its true love or even if its meant to last forever, but the bottom line is don't close yourself off to the possibility. Because you really don't know what's around the corner.
 
Don't let your past block your future. I've experienced several heartbreaks that I thought would kill me. But I never cut myself off from men or the possibility of love. I met my husband after being dumped by a man I thought was the one. Just because one man is blind doesn't mean that the next one won't have 20/20 vision.
 
Yep and it helped prepare me to meet the love my life.

I've always felt like the heartache I endured in my last relationship would somehow prepare me to find/pursue the RIGHT man so I hope it is not all in vain. When you put your all into one relationship it is so scary to think that you'll have to start all over again. I'm trying not to give up hope but it's hard.
 
Chile please one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch. Don't carry that negativity with you. We are all subject to a heartbreak or two but oh well dust yourself off and give love onemo try.

If you don't experience a few bad times you won't know how to appreciate the good times. That doesn't mean bad men that treat you like po po though. What it means is you have to learn from all experiences and people that are put in your life for a reason or season. Don't let a jackarse that didn't appreciate your love dictate your future period point blank.
 
Not only was it possible for me but I found someone BETTER!!

It took a loooonnnnnng time (5 years) but I stayed faithful to MYSELF and trusted in God and we finally found each other.

And to make matters better. I used the lessons learned and apply them to make this marriage work.

It is possible.
 
Always wondered why few people use the word "better" to describe a new relationship. Anyone after a current one has to be BETTER to me or else what's the point? Unless I'm not the one who wanted to move on...maybe it's not the psychologically PC thing to say lol?

BTW- this thread is helpful as its possible I might have to leave the best relationship I've had thus far in my life. It's good to know that there could be even better. My worry has always been that I won't be able to have a child as I'm approaching 40. I'd like to be married or a least enjoy the father a few years before bringing in children...that's my ideal at least.
 
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I always think the future has to be better because if you've grown as a person, you will love better, have clearer expectations, higher standards. Things will be better if we take the time to learn and grow and be better than we are today.
 
Always wondered why few people use the word "better" to describe a new relationship. Anyone after a current one has to be BETTER to me or else what's the point? Unless I'm not the one who wanted to move on...maybe it's not the psychologically PC thing to say lol?

BTW- this thread is helpful as its possible I might have to leave the best relationship I've had thus far in my life. It's good to know that there could be even better. My worry has always been that I won't be able to have a child as I'm approaching 40. I'd like to be married or a least enjoy the father a few years before bringing in children...that's my ideal at least.

I agree. I actually was the one to break things off. But after 5 long years and what felt like forever it was hard not to look back and think that I made a mistake even though my reasons for leaving were valid.

5 years is a long time and plenty enough time to settle but I'm glad I didn't and did end up with the 'better' man that I knew was out there for me. :yep:
 
Not only was it possible for me but I found someone BETTER!!

It took a loooonnnnnng time (5 years) but I stayed faithful to MYSELF and trusted in God and we finally found each other.

And to make matters better. I used the lessons learned and apply them to make this marriage work.

It is possible.


Trusting in God is important, but staying faithful to myself was also very key. I had to CHOOSE not to let failed relationships change who I am at my core. I had to realize I am beuatiful in all ways. I am fine the way I am, flaws and all, and it was just a matter of finding the right man (friends too now that I think about it :look:) who knew that too.

Once I got cool with me, it was easier to put myself out there again. The difference was I was very, very clear about who I was. what I needed from someone else and what was not acceptable in my space. I truly believe that made the difference in who I attracted to my online profile and cut out the riff raff.
 
I don't even see the point ThickHair. I swear i've always been invisible to decent, eligible men. I only make an effort when i go to work because i have to.

This is me exactly. For some reason I only attract the ones who want a friends with benefits, nothing serious type a relationship. I don't get it, I'm through with relationships and dating like i cant anymore. Rant Ova!

Awwww....ladies don't tell yourselves this!!! You might unknowingly be causing a self-fulfilling prophecy! :ohwell:


I think true love after heartbreak CAN exist. :yep: I have seen it happen w/my own eyes..............to others.. :look:


But just because we haven't found it YET, doesn't mean we will NEVER find it. There is a difference! :yep:


Keep the faith ladies! :grin:
 
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