Dating Woes: First Date, Guy Asks To Pick Him Up..

[FemmeFatale]

So I had a date scheduled for tonight and the guy sent me a message asking if I could pick him up since his brother has his truck (claims his brother just had a baby which that part is true and that he had his other kids with him and needed a bigger vehicle). Nevertheless I was turned the hell off..why is he asking me for favors already? There are cabs, buses and trains..and your feet I basically told him that I don't know him like that and I'm not comfortable letting ppl I don't know in my car.

Am I mean or wrong for being disgusted?

 

[Syrah]

No. Pride.

 

[pookaloo83]

So I had a date scheduled for tonight and the guy sent me a message asking if I could pick him up since his brother has his truck (claims his brother just had a baby which that part is true and that he had his other kids with him and needed a bigger vehicle). Nevertheless I was turned the hell off..why is he asking me for favors already? There are cabs, buses and trains..and your feet I basically told him that I don't know him like that and I'm not comfortable letting ppl I don't know in my car.

Am I mean or wrong for being disgusted?

 

[carcajada]

What a loser. Drop him. It can only go down from here.

 

[RocStar]

Not wrong, totally right.

If the date and making the right impression on you was important, he would have came up with something else.

I understand that things and situations come up...but the first date? Not really setting a good precident.

 

[cami88]

Lord.

I had a 'date' with this one guy (wasn't really a date, he worked at my school and he hassled me for so long and I felt bad so I agreed to 'go out' with him....I said he could come with me to Wal Mart while I picked up some stuff ) Anyway, it was the worst. First, he was the biggest downer I've ever met. I had to pick him up because he didn't have a car. Then he talked on and on and ON about how he could not get a girl...he couldn't afford nice clothes for dates....girls were always blowing him off.....his mom abandoned him....his dad commited suicide....all of this while walking the aisles of Wal Mart)

Then, as we were leaving Wal Mart he asked me for $5 for a bag of weed. I gave it to him and never spoke to him again. I would run into him on campus occasionally and look the other way. *shudders*

 

[mech]

girl, hell no. what kinda man asks a woman to pick him up for the first date? men are just not ashamed anymore.

 

[Menina Preta]

Hmm, I kinda think you overreacted. Let me put it out there that I now live in the walking/subway part of my city and don't own a car, but the part of the city where I grew up, most people drive. If a man has an issue with their car, it isn't frowned upon if the woman picks the man up. I remember I used to date this dude when I was living at home and I picked him up or drove over to his house a few times, b/c he didn't have a car (he commuted to work via subway). It wasn't that big of a deal to me...He had a valid reason not to have a car, IMO.

 

[carcajada]

Lord.

I had a 'date' with this one guy (wasn't really a date, he worked at my school and he hassled me for so long and I felt bad so I agreed to 'go out' with him....I said he could come with me to Wal Mart while I picked up some stuff ) Anyway, it was the worst. First, he was the biggest downer I've ever met. I had to pick him up because he didn't have a car. Then he talked on and on and ON about how he could not get a girl...he couldn't afford nice clothes for dates....girls were always blowing him off.....his mom abandoned him....his dad commited suicide....all of this while walking the aisles of Wal Mart)

Then, as we were leaving Wal Mart he asked me for $5 for a bag of weed. I gave it to him and never spoke to him again. I would run into him on campus occasionally and look the other way. *shudders*

Sorry but

 

[Mortons]

He couldnt do a one day car rental? There are some pretty inexpensive places to rent from for a night or weekend.

 

[Cheleigh]

Well things do come up, and unless you live in a big taxi/public trans town, where were you going once he got there anyway? Yes, he could have rented a car (I've had a guy do this once when he car was in the shop), but it's not that serious to me. His mistake was not just rescheduling the date by sharing with you that an emergency had come up.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Hmm, I kinda think you overreacted. Let me put it out there that I now live in the walking/subway part of my city and don't own a car, but the part of the city where I grew up, most people drive. If a man has an issue with their car, it isn't frowned upon if the woman picks the man up. I remember I used to date this dude when I was living at home and I picked him up or drove over to his house a few times, b/c he didn't have a car (he commuted to work). It wasn't that big of a deal to me...He had a valid reason not to have a car, IMO.

I'm not disgusted that he doesn't have a car, I'm disgusted that he asked me for a favor so soon. Don't ask me for ish on a the first date or ever

 

[nlamr2013]

In one sense I would have been like oh heck no. but after hearing about his bro and the kiddies I would have been like aww helping out the fam. Idk I don't think I would expect the man to rent a car though. And he should have called instead sending a message.

 

[lux10023]

he had a planned date--sorry he shouldve told his brother to use someone elses vehicle

not happening--im not picking up a man on a first date--wtf--dinner and a movie andddddddddd drop him home....
nah-not happening--

listen--call me when you have a whip--if im still avail

 

[pookaloo83]

I'm not disgusted that he doesn't have a car, I'm disgusted that he asked me for a favor so soon. Don't ask me for ish on a the first date or ever

Maybe It was either that or cancel the date for him. So he must really want to go on the date. It may cost him to much to do a cab and pay for dinner at this time, So he just thought to ask you for a ride. No biggie if you ask me. I know it may be a bit of a turnoff but it looks like he really wants to go on this date. Like I said, he could have cancelled. But he didn't.

 

[MizAvalon]

If his brother needed a "bigger" vehicle then I assume he has one that is "smaller"? Why didn't he just switch cars with his brother?

 

[lux10023]

^^^ good point---something soundin kinda fishy nowwwww...hmmmmmmmmm

"martin voice" tommyyy you aint got no damn carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr menggggggggggg

 

[Bublin]

The gif had me busting out laughing.

 

[SmileyNY]

"martin voice" tommyyy you aint got no damn carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr menggggggggggg

Lmao! Right. For the next date his car is going to be "in the shop"

 

[carcajada]

he had a planned date--sorry he shouldve told his brother to use someone elses vehicle

not happening--im not picking up a man on a first date--wtf--dinner and a movie andddddddddd drop him home....
nah-not happening--

listen--call me when you have a whip--if im still avail

Okay! And you only have ONE "car"? Boy, bye.

 

[menina]

i can appreciate his honesty, but he could've made some other preparations than having you pick him up.

i'm sorry but

 

[bosswitch]

Dudes can't take the bus anymore? smh...

It's a good thing you didn't go...ol' boy would probably have is cousin there with him, asking you to give him a ride to the subway

 

[Mortons]

I'm not disgusted that he doesn't have a car, I'm disgusted that he asked me for a favor so soon. Don't ask me for ish on a the first date or ever

I feel where you are coming from. I would expect someone to try to impress me a wee bit on a first date and I would prefer the person to act self sufficient

 

[RedVelvet310]

I'm not gonna jump on him and say that he's a loser/scrub, but he has no .... what's the word? I want to say "couth", but I feel that's too strong of a word.. whatever. What I feel he should have done is call you and apologize profusely for not having a car and rescheduled the date for a later date when he did have one. The excuse IMO sounds legit. Then (if you choose to) YOU should have been the one to offer to pick him up. I don't like men who don't have that awareness.. we wouldn't mesh

 

[Ogoma]

Where is that Oprah's No gif when one needs it.

I think you made the right call.

 

[gabulldawg]

He couldnt do a one day car rental? There are some pretty inexpensive places to rent from for a night or weekend.

i'm pretty sure one guy I went on a date with rented a car just for our date. I don't know if he didn't have a car or what, but at least he tried.

 

[BlueEra]

I had two guys do this to me out here. Both times I met them both at a mutual location and assumed that they had their own transportation. Out here it's just a hassle to deal with someone who doesn't have a access to a car or other transportation especially when people are scattered across the city.

The first guy and I were at a children's fundraiser where he was volunteering, and after the event he asked me to take him home...When I asked him if he had a car he said no, and he just hitched rides with other people. He said his roommate had dropped him off at the fundraiser and wasn't able to pick him up...I felt like he kind of used me in a sense because it didn't seem like he had a ride home otherwise. I never spoke to him again after that.

The second guy, I met him at a restaurant with a group of friends. He and a friend took a cab to the restaurant but instead of taking a cab back, he asked me to take him AND his friend back to their place. En route the friend asked if I could stop by his house so that he could pick up some items before dropping them both off at their final destination. I was not happy at all...but the guy I was seeing filled my tank up, gave me extra money to refill it, and money for food. The guy has a bike, so I don't know why he doesn't use it more often.

 

[sj10460]

So I had a date scheduled for tonight and the guy sent me a message asking if I could pick him up since his brother has his truck (claims his brother just had a baby which that part is true and that he had his other kids with him and needed a bigger vehicle). Nevertheless I was turned the hell off..why is he asking me for favors already? There are cabs, buses and trains..and your feet I basically told him that I don't know him like that and I'm not comfortable letting ppl I don't know in my car.

Am I mean or wrong for being disgusted?

You are not mean for being disgusted but the way you communicated with his was harsh IMO.

 

[FemmeFatale]

You are not mean for being disgusted but the way you communicated with his was harsh IMO.

I was much more diplomatic about it.

 

[carcajada]

I had two guys do this to me out here. Both times I met them both at a mutual location and assumed that they had their own transportation. Out here it's just a hassle to deal with someone who doesn't have a access to a car or other transportation especially when people are scattered across the city.

The first guy and I were at a children's fundraiser where he was volunteering, and after the event he asked me to take him home...When I asked him if he had a car he said no, and he just hitched rides with other people. He said his roommate had dropped him off at the fundraiser and wasn't able to pick him up...I felt like he kind of used me in a sense because it didn't seem like he had a ride home otherwise. I never spoke to him again after that.

The second guy, I met him at a restaurant with a group of friends. He and a friend took a cab to the restaurant but instead of taking a cab back, he asked me to take him AND his friend back to their place. En route the friend asked if I could stop by his house so that he could pick up some items before dropping them both off at their final destination. I was not happy at all...but the guy I was seeing filled my tank up, gave me extra money to refill it, and money for food. The guy has a bike, so I don't know why he doesn't use it more often.

wtf?

Who does this?!