Dating & Hiv Testing

007PMP

007PMP

INTJ
What are your thoughts? When do you request one? Have you ever? If/when you did, what was the persons response?

If you’re married, do you and your spouse still get tested?
 
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I just hung up with a couple girlfriends who were appalled when I said that I request an HIV test up front. I did with beau and will do it again. If they say no, that’s a dealbreaker.

They said I was crazy and the beau was an exception to number of men who will respond favorably.

WHAT?!!!
 
hopeful said:
Good for you! I assume you’re doing a broad STD test that includes HIV? Your friends are crazy. Nobody is worth putting your health at risk. Pure foolishness.
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Yeah everything one could contract sexually he and I both got tested for. I told him that before I walk down the isle we will do it again and reoccurringly during the marriage we will. He said he’s never met a woman (he’s divorced) who asked prior to me. Not like he’s been with a lot of women but the fact that none of them did is right up there with my two girlfriends (1 white and the other AA)
 
When I was still dating it was a requirement for me along with routine follow up testing. Any dude that protested was not worth my time and never got access to my cookies. Simple as that.

My husband is in the military and gets it as part of his job. I do mine at least yearly with my annual checkup/physical.
 
Here’s a story that changed my entire perspective, his, and I sent it to my friends. I told her (white one) I bet you’ll think twice about raw dogging after watching this ladies testimony. :yep:


(She has a series of her entire journey)

Thing is I wonder if there more witpipo who forego testing?

I remember there was this huge push for testing and awareness in our community, which made it seem like we are the only race that is susceptible or high risk—which is a fallacy. However I have yet to see the same type of effort within other cultures (not that it hasn’t been done but I just haven’t seen it).
 
I'm a hypochondriac so I always asked for recent test results which eliminated quite a few penii from being added to my final body count. Honestly, if I had realized that genital herpes could be passed from kissing I might have never dated at all. I thought the worst I could get was mono from smooches but I am thankful yet horrified for my former lack of knowledge.

I'm married and am tested for STD's when I go in for my pap smears. I also have them test me for TSS. Did I mention that I'm a hypochondriac?
 
Mai Tai said:
When I was still dating it was a requirement for me along with routine follow up testing. Any dude that protested was not worth my time and never got access to my cookies. Simple as that.

My husband is in the military and gets it as part of his job. I do mine at least yearly with my annual checkup/physical.
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:yep: beau is career military (officer) so he had no issues getting another test even though he gets the yearly PHA.

I’m like you—no test no cookie. I don’t care how fine, educated, morally sound the guy is. I want the panel! Show me the $$$ and the Panel!! :lol:
 
007PMP said:
I just hung up with a couple girlfriends who were appalled when I said that I request an HIV test up front. I did with beau and will do it again. If they say no, that’s a dealbreaker.

They said I was crazy and the beau was an exception to number of men who will respond favorably.

WHAT?!!!
Click to expand...
No woman should be that fearful of losing a man. The risk is not worth it. They may be doing him a favor as well as he may discover that someone from his past (or present) may have given him an STD that he never considered.
 
Shimmie said:
No woman should be that fearful of losing a man. The risk is not worth it. They may be doing him a favor as well as he may discover that someone from his past (or present) may have given him an STD that he never considered.
Click to expand...

Agreed but I bet there are a ton of women who “hear you” but are still fearful. Just a guess based upon the sheer volume of women compromising themselves in other areas—HIV and STD testing is just one of the many areas.
 
007PMP said:
Agreed but I bet there are a ton of women who “hear you” but are still fearful. Just a guess based upon the sheer volume of women compromising themselves in other areas—HIV and STD testing is just one of the many areas.
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This is an eye and mind awakening topic. Good for you! Don't stop sharing this with people, both male and female. :yep:

We live in a society where one cannot afford to be unaware.
 
I'm exclusively dating someone now and once we decided this we both got std testing done and shared the proof of results with each other. We will do this yearly.

I'm really surprised some women would think this is asking too much of man.

I briefly talked to a guy that was divorced from his wife that cheated on him all the time. This was her second marriage, her first husband had 3 outside babies on her. And the dude I was talking to had a random kid with one of his longtime friends.
Just yuck to all of it. When he told me all of this I had to drop him. I couldn't stop looking at him as a walking disease.
 
I'm all for doing a FULL STD panel out of the gate. No test, no cookie. Any guy that protests would get the side eye right before they get the boot.

...and yearly check ups / retesting would be required. Any guy that protests only cares about the precious "P" and not the person -- definitely not worth time or energy.

Great topic! We need to raise our awareness as women and what other way to get men to visit the doctor more regularly (funny how the precious "P" can be such a motivational tool!!!)
 
laCriolla said:
do you have his doctor send you the report, or take his word for it?
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First time he reported back negative and thought it was a closed book. I said nope go back and I want to see it with my eyes, so he took a picture of what was in his chart and text it to me.

The beau knows I don’t play. Just off of GP I have asked him to get an STD panel so he could get use to me asking and wanting results. If I ask for an entire copy of his medical records he needs to be prepared to not resist or I’ll have some issues.

I never use to do this (didn’t do this with my ex) until I had a coworker share her story about how her husband (high school sweetheart) got a guttersnipper pregnant and she found out through her GYN telling her she caught something. She asked her husband and he lied, then finally cane clean about the girl, the baby, and the STD. They have been married for 20 years. He’s a deacon, community volunteer, executive, and a mentor.

I’ve always said although I divorced my ex he’s a good man and father...he never cheated. She then said “don’t be so naive lil bit” and proceeded to share. I heart that woman because she dropped some knowledge on me that day.
 
Thank you for bringing this up. I work in the lab. Recently I've seen a newly wed husband testing positive, people who have tested positive and don't follow through with confirmation/ treatment. So ladies please know that people will lie and they don't care. If they are not willing to get tested and share their results with you, someone they are willing to share their body with....RUN!
I ask potentials for their reports and get my report card done every 6months -year.
 
Interesting since a friend of mine was recently freaking out after having sex with a new partner and she told me all her other friends told her to stop worrying. I was the only one who told her to get tested. :look: These are married women in their 30's who thought she was being "extra."

People really out here in these streets listening to what others say (i.e. he said he was clean) or how they look (i.e. he don't look sick) to rely on their health! I pulled out my phone and made her an appt with PP that night. :lol: I had to promise her I'd take her to get ice cream afterwards, she was a nervous wreck.
 
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