Is this normal to you guys? Should the woman be alarmed?
The guy treats her nicely and they're in a committed relationship however he's not the affectionate type. She's "tried everything" too, good sex, keeping her figure super tight, etc.
My heart would've been broken.
The bigger question is if this is important to her then why has she allowed herself to get so deep with someone that is unwilling to meet her needs?
The fact that other women don't need to hear "I love you" means nada if you do.
And in typical LHCF fashion I'm going to point out the "couching" of your first post. Your initial points that he treats her nicely and they are in a committed relationship is not backed up with your follow up posts regarding her basically doing tricks just to get a reaction out of him.
The hard truth is he's not a nice guy FOR HER.
Maybe he looks good on paper but for whatever reason its not working and she needs to back up if its not entirely too late.
Why did she cut off any other prospects for this dude? Doesn't sound like he did a bait and switch so what happened? Did they go on 4 dates and she decided he was it? Why do so many girls think being in a "relationship" with anything is better than nothing?
How did they decide to be committed without any conversation about feelings?? Did it ever happen or is she assuming that because she is sexing him up she has him?
What is she going to do when he meets "the one" that he feels is worthy of his attention and "that girl" gets what she had to beg for in scraps?
I'm not expecting answers....just points of thoughts I have when having these discussions with others in real life. People say what sounds nice with little effort on what those words mean. Dig deeper and see if they are matching up. Usually the answer is sitting right in front of you even when you pretend not to know.
Call a thing a thing. She will never get to the root of whatever is going on if she (or you as her friend) feel the need to tiptoe around what she has chosen to settle for. This is no one's fault but her own. Those that don't need verbal assurances of love that's fine but certainly the men in your life
show you and reaffirm your place in their life beyond those words. This young lady needs to know its not about just the words.
Its about knowing your worth and believing that you are valuable enough to hold out for the one that recognizes that you are the prize and not just jumping into a situation with someone because he's there or 30 is around the corner. She should be dating (not sexing) more than one person until the one that has proven by action and deed has earned the promotion to "committed relationship". At this point it doesn't matter that they've been together 1 year 2 months but its her choice whether she will still be with him 1 year 2 months and a day.
Someone asked what should she say to him when he asks why? I certainly doubt he will ask. His actions spoke volumes and she should allow her actions to do the same. If he is "misunderstood" then the fear of losing h
er will spark him to do better but the question would then be if he was capable of doing what she wanted all along why didn't he? There is no good answer to that question. When you find yourself making excuses for a man then its past time to go.
