Could You Date Someone Who Smoked (weed And/or Cigarettes) And Drink Alcohol?

Dating someone who smokes (weed and/or cigarettes) and drink alcohol on most days of the week?

  • No (to all forms of smoking, drinking)

  • Yes (to all forms of smoking, drinking)

  • NO to smoking (this includes weed and cigarettes), but YES drinking is fine

  • YES to smoking (this includes weed and cigarettes), but NO to drinking alcohol

Results are only viewable after voting.
No to all. I don't drink or smoke anything at all.

For the guy in my life: Occasional drinking is okay but 4-5 times a week is too much. I have alcoholics in my family and am not interested in taking that crazy train.

I am not down with second hand smoke or the smell of cigarettes so no to that.

Weed is unacceptable as I am not a hippie :giggle: and don't like the smell. Plus weed heads are super unmotivated which is the opposite of sexy to me.
 
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I can't do smokers anymore. Stale smoke on clothes, hair. No.

Weed smokers no. Special occasion use maybe.

Drinking socially or to relax is ok.
 
*~*Afrolicious*~* said:
No to cigarettes, they are toxic. Weed is natural and has scientifically proven medicinal properties so I wouldn't care about that or drinking. I think it comes down to is this person using weed and alcohol to surpress unresolved issues or is it to unwind?

The last relationship I was in caused me to reconsider weed. I thought he smoked for the wrong reasons, but he inspired to do more research on marijuana. I end up recommending it to a friend that had severe thyroid problems (one eye bulges out of her head, enlarged lymph nodes, etc. Her doctor performed a biopsy and there was a 50% change she had malignant cancer cells). She smoked every day for 3 months and everything improved, EVERYTHING. Her eye and lump nodes went back to normal and there was no trace of cancer in her body. All her signs went back to normal and her doctors now want to conduct a study on the effects of marijuana with hyperthyroidism.
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Well this is interesting. There are people with cancer who take it for pain. To me that's different than some dude just smoking weed almost every day for no reason. Most who smoke aren't for health reasons...at least that is how it appears to me. Also the type who smokes all the time (just because) usually has a specific personality. And without a prescription it is illegal so now dude could end up in jail. My half cousin is in jail for just marijuana. His life is altered for being caught so when people say it is no big deal, I can't get on board. If you're a minority,you may not get the slap on the wrist like the majority and just do community service. ..you could end up in jail. So besides having a typical unmotivated personality (that comes with heavy use sometime from people I have seen), you could end up behind bars.

As for your friend, that is a fascinating story and use of marijuana for legal health purposes. If it isn't legal they are super lucky they didn't get caught and thank goodness.

Wonder if it was the relaxing that changed everything and reversed it? Stress does a lot to us. Maybe the weed helped with that.
Or pehaps it was the weed that cured it. Either way good for your friend!
 
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luckiestdestiny said:
Well this is interesting. There are people with cancer who take it for pain. To me that's different than some dude just smoking weed almost every day for no reason. Most who smoke aren't for health reasons...at least that is how it appears to me. Also the type who smokes all the time (just because) usually has a specific personality. And without a prescription it is illegal so now dude could end up in jail. My half cousin is in jail for just marijuana. His life is altered for being caught so when people say it is no big deal, I can't get on board. If you're a minority,you may not get the slap on the wrist like the majority and just do community service. ..you could end up in jail. So besides having a typical unmotivated personality (that comes with heavy use sometime from people I have seen), you could end up behind bars.

As for your friend, that is a fascinating story and use of marijuana for legal health purposes. If it isn't legal they are super lucky they didn't get caught and thank goodness.

Wonder if it was the relaxing that changed everything and reversed it? Stress does a lot to us. Maybe the weed helped with that.
Or pehaps it was the weed that cured it. Either way good for your friend!
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There are states that have legalized weed. My state has decriminalized anything less than once ounce (50 dollar fine which isn't enforced. There are plenty of articles taking about the cancer killing power of weed and cannibis oil.
 
*~*Afrolicious*~* said:
There are states that have legalized weed. My state has decriminalized anything less than once ounce (50 dollar fine which isn't enforced. There are plenty of articles taking about the cancer killing power of weed and cannibis oil.
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That's really cool (about cancer killing powers). I realize that States are doing that now but I also know that my Cousin is still in jail unfortunately. He was caught with weed at 19 and sent to jail and he didn't get a diversion or community service. He did have a crap lawyer though so who knows what would happen with a good one. It was quite shocking for us as no one in our family ever went to jail EVER with the exception of protesting during the civil right's movement. They did sit ins, etc and were arrested for daring to think they could sit where a white person could. This, to us is different from going to jail for b.s. And we realize that b.s happens to black people all the time sometimes without fault, but we try to avoid it at all cost if possible.

Jail changed him. His whole demeanor and everything. Once you go to jail...you have to work hard to change your mindset because it will be completely different. My mom did talk to him about going to school and he is super smart. I will correct that and say he is genius level smart. His SAT scores were insanely good and he also had excellent grades in class. We thought he could get in because the first time was a misdemeanor so he didn't have to mark that on a college application. Go figure. BUT alas it was not meant to be. Even though we researched colleges while he was in there, followed up with him... and though he was super excited about going to school upon leaving jail and started to prepare by applying, etc...it was only a few weeks later that he was caught up again in b.s.
He got out and went back in the same cycle. He rode in a car with a bunch of his friends who were driving faster than the speed limit. Cops pulled them over and the car smelled like...you guessed it...weed. Went right back to jail for years. This is because between his friends, they had a little over an ounce. That can give up a decade of your life because that is considered a felony. This time his friends testified that he did not do the drugs and was only riding in the car but it doesn't matter because he's in Georgia. This time he was a repeat offender in this little hick town and people weren't hearing it:

http://www.mygeorgiadefenselawyer.com/georgia-criminal-offenses-penalties/marijuana-possession/:
"you can be charged with possession of marijuana even if you are not “holding” the drugs.

That’s right – if you are “in control” of the marijuana you can be found to be in possession of it. This means that if the drugs are within your reach and a reasonable person would believe you had knowledge of it, you possess it. This could be in the glove compartment, on your coffee table, or under your seat."

He's promising this time to do things different and stay away from his old friends and avoid being anywhere near that ish and should be out in a year or so. I hope so because he went to jail right out of highschool. He doesn't know anything else.

So for that reason, I do know that having weed is not just harmless as it can screw you over and change your entire life. I'm not down with dating a guy that can do that to us. Again in some States they are decriminalizing it. Good for that. But really, the black people in other states are going to jail for one to ten years, while their white counterparts skip off with fines or community service. Plus I don't like the smell. So unless it's for an illness and they have a prescription or in a town where it's legalized and they're sick and need it (then I'd understand)...I really don't want anything to do with it.

The cancer killing thing is fantastic though. I will do some research on that as I know someone who may need this information. I'm all for it in cases like this with a prescription, or where it's legal. But I'm not down for jail unless you are fighting for a cause.
 
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No to cigs and no to weed. Drinking wine, beer or a little something more is fine with dinner...but not getting stupid drink or violent.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
That's really cool (about cancer killing powers). I realize that States are doing that now but I also know that my Cousin is still in jail unfortunately. He was caught with weed at 19 and sent to jail and he didn't get a diversion or community service. He did have a crap lawyer though so who knows what would happen with a good one. It was quite shocking for us as no one in our family ever went to jail EVER with the exception of protesting during the civil right's movement. They did sit ins, etc and were arrested for daring to think they could sit where a white person could. This, to us is different from going to jail for b.s. And we realize that b.s happens to black people all the time sometimes without fault, but we try to avoid it at all cost if possible.

Jail changed him. His whole demeanor and everything. Once you go to jail...you have to work hard to change your mindset because it will be completely different. My mom did talk to him about going to school and he is super smart. I will correct that and say he is genius level smart. His SAT scores were insanely good and he also had excellent grades in class. We thought he could get in because the first time was a misdemeanor so he didn't have to mark that on a college application. Go figure. BUT alas it was not meant to be. Even though we researched colleges while he was in there, followed up with him... and though he was super excited about going to school upon leaving jail and started to prepare by applying, etc...it was only a few weeks later that he was caught up again in b.s.
He got out and went back in the same cycle. He rode in a car with a bunch of his friends who were driving faster than the speed limit. Cops pulled them over and the car smelled like...you guessed it...weed. Went right back to jail for years. This is because between his friends, they had a little over an ounce. That can give up a decade of your life because that is considered a felony. This time his friends testified that he did not do the drugs and was only riding in the car but it doesn't matter because he's in Georgia. This time he was a repeat offender in this little hick town and people weren't hearing it:

http://www.mygeorgiadefenselawyer.com/georgia-criminal-offenses-penalties/marijuana-possession/:
"you can be charged with possession of marijuana even if you are not “holding” the drugs.

That’s right – if you are “in control” of the marijuana you can be found to be in possession of it. This means that if the drugs are within your reach and a reasonable person would believe you had knowledge of it, you possess it. This could be in the glove compartment, on your coffee table, or under your seat."

He's promising this time to do things different and stay away from his old friends and avoid being anywhere near that ish and should be out in a year or so. I hope so because he went to jail right out of highschool. He doesn't know anything else.

So for that reason, I do know that having weed is not just harmless as it can screw you over and change your entire life. I'm not down with dating a guy that can do that to us. Again in some States they are decriminalizing it. Good for that. But really, the black people in other states are going to jail for one to ten years, while their white counterparts skip off with fines or community service. Plus I don't like the smell. So unless it's for an illness and they have a prescription or in a town where it's legalized and they're sick and need it (then I'd understand)...I really don't want anything to do with it.

The cancer killing thing is fantastic though. I will do some research on that as I know someone who may need this information. I'm all for it in cases like this with a prescription, or where it's legal. But I'm not down for jail unless you are fighting for a cause.
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Damn....I'm so sorry this happened to him sis. It sounds like you really love and care for him. I hope things will get better for him once he's home.
 
I am a hippie. Yes to the ganja, lol. Several holistic practitioners recommend it here. I have high functioning anxiety. I tend to be quite perfectionist, borderline OCD, and every so often implode into a knot. My level of functioning I am always assessing risk. So imagine thinking of a minimum of three different results each decision you make. I am always thinking about time and the future. It is the fear of choosing an incorrect state which alters the future. I do well in business settings, but I burn out easy if I am not allowed to step way from the process. So I shy away from leadership. To make me more present, I partake, before bed as needed with a nice glasss of red and melatonin, so I do not discount others. When I am creating a plan of action for the next day, if there is a stressor, I will do my ritual.

I cannot date a person who smokes cigarettes though. My granddad died of lung cancer.

Drinking: I am not a heavy drinker and I prefer my gentlemen not to be. I can get personable on a glass of wine or two. Anything heavier, for me, is showing out lol.
 
Nope definitely not to weed or cigarettes. I did it for 6 or 7 years and he was a serious hardcore weed smoker. I mean this guy would wake up in the morning before he clocked in(he worked in IT and from home) and he would smoke, before lunch, before he worked out, before he went out , at night before going to bed-- so very much a hard core smoker. It was so bad that he I could tell the difference when he was smoking and when he wasn't smoking. His mood would change so much. He was totally different when he wasn't smoking. He just really acted selfish and moody when he was smoking.

My new SO used to smoke cigarettes but that was a very long time before I came along and he doesn't anymore but he will have his drink on the weekends but he begins on Friday after work and has a certain time he stops on late Saturday/early Sunday mornings. I'm not a heavy drinker so I'm very light weight when it comes to drinking.

Its a total turnoff to see a guy that smokes weed, cigarettes and drinks heavily.
 
I'm a former smoker, both weed and cigarettes but I wouldn't want to date anyone who smokes or drinks a lot. I know, but I'm older so smoking is so passe. I only drink red wines and Baileys Irish Cream, nothing else, so if he have an occasional drink of beer or wine, no problem but if he's drunk all day, and smokes pot all the time then we have a problem.:afro:
 
NO.

HELLLLL NO.

I do all of those things. :look:

No shame in my game, I party hard. Get lit and turn all the way up!

However, I have no problem with having an inflexible double standard. I'm the only person in that's going to be undercover unpredictable emotional train wreck.. I do not like people who drink or smoke. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't trust them. They make me feel unsafe and ubstable. I want someone self disciplined. Focused. Structured. Someone who can protect me when I'm a *****up HAM.....

As coincidence would have it that's usually what I attract.

My current SO doesn't drink at all. He orders OJ at the bar while I'm slurping down my 3rd kettle one lol
 
as for drinking, depending on the career, men are gonna end up drinking at least 3 times in a week..investment bankers, stock brokers blah blah wall street dudes are always on some liquid meeting. either you can get with that or not, most women would despite claiming otherwise.

luckiestdestiny said:
. Plus weed heads are super unmotivated which is the opposite of sexy to me.
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you'd be surprised.

I've never done any drug but i do know quite a few who smoke weed regularly with phDs doing big things. the whole unmotivated thing seems to be quite the stereotype imo. i used to believe it, not anymore.
 
Was engaged to a man who had stopped smoking for years. A year prior to our break up, he began to smoke weed again, eventually smoking it 3+ times a day, seven days a week. He became addicted, which led to him being unmotivated and very distant. What people don't understand is, weed does not affect everyone the same. One person may smoke weed and only do it occasionally. Other people start off smoking it occasionally and five years later, their a full blown addict. People underplay weed addiction, but at the end of the day it is addiction, which causes apathy, lack of motivation, mood swings, irritability, etc. I will never date another man who even looks at weed, let alone smokes it.
 
LoveLiLi said:
I have before and I wouldn't do it again. He said I thought I was "too good" because I didn't smoke and rarely drank. Plus, it seemed he was self medicating instead of addressing whatever issues he had.
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Same with my ex. After a while it got boring because that's all he wanted to do. Plus I think he was self medicating
 
Done it before
wouldn't do it again

My ex liked to smoke cigarettes and weed.

He liked to drink too but more socially and that suited me.

The smoking is what annoyed me though. Not even the so much the weed it was the cigarettes. You'd be spending time together at a restaurant or shopping or even just watching tv and he'd have to go outside to smoke. and then come back reeking and tasting nasty.
Antisocial

Not to mention the money. It's an expensive habit. He was motivated and ambitious. But It felt like self medicating to me
 
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