Could/would you be a swinger w/s.o.?

Could/would you consider becoming a swinger w/s.o.

  • Yes...!

    Votes: 1 1.7%

  • No, never.

    Votes: 55 93.2%

  • We've discussed it, but I'm not sure...

    Votes: 3 5.1%

  • I'm interested, but he/she is not....

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    59
  • Poll closed .
B

Blyss_curls

Well-Known Member
Recently viewed Lisa Ling's show featuring Swingers (think it originally aired quite a while ago).

I was surprised to see a black woman featured...:blush:, which made me feel bad. I get mad when those outside of the culture stereotype and pidgeon hole us as only participating in certain activities, behaviors, etc.

Also, my nail tech once shared w/me that she'd viewed a swingers episode of HBO's Real *ex. She said if her husband was into it, she would totally be open to it--which surprised me. (yes, she is black, catholic, married, etc.)

So in an effort to be more open minded on this issue, I thought I'd start a thread/discussion on it.

I'll start.

No, I could not be a swinger. I don't want my partner to color in anyone else's book....nor do I want anyone else, coloring his. But think it's interesting that others do this. :grin:

Please have an open mind. Please utilize civility and no judgements of other's sharing their choices in this thread.
 
Last edited:
With LHCF's elephant memory in mind...I doubt if most people who would or have done so will say so. It may be held against them in a future thread about unicorns or shoes or eyelashes....basically any seemingly unrelated thread.

Back on topic...I will say No. I would never ever consider it.

 
ZedianChic said:
With LHCF's elephant memory in mind...I doubt if most people who would or have done so will say so. It may be held against them in a future thread about unicorns or shoes or eyelashes....basically any seemingly unrelated thread.

Back on topic...I will say No. I would never ever consider it.
Click to expand...

LOL! I know you make a good point, and I appreciate your bringing this up.

I also considered this, which is why I added the poll.

Anyone that is uncomfortable sharing in the thread, is free to just vote in the poll (I didn't click on the public option), so it should be anonymous. :grin:
 
lushcoils said:
If we say yes, we're ****** ***. If we say no, we get the, see this is why bw can't keep men. #cantwin
Click to expand...

LOL, very true! But I'm from the school of thought that if I got to do something I'm not comfortable with doing to keep you then...you can go! I'll be hurt but I'll get over it and still have my pride!!!!
 
lushcoils said:
If we say yes, we're ****** ***. If we say no, we get the, see this is why bw can't keep men. #cantwin
Click to expand...

Ewww. I hate those type of comments. :wallbash: It's super sexist, and places all responsibility for a relationship w/the woman. Which is totally b.s., imo.

Unless somone is psychic and has tapped into the minds of every man on earth--there is no way anyone can assert such a thing. :crystalba

It's just people offering an opinion, and a rude, sexist one at that.
 
Last edited:
Nope, we're just way to territorial for that. That kinda stuff is for when you're single, and free, and noones feelings can get hurt.
 
One of my sister's college roommates recently shared with my sister that her and her husband were swingers. Yes, they are both black! My sister was visiting from another state and stayed at her friends house when this was brought up! I remember her calling me during her stay and sharing this with me...I died laughing because she felt like she may have been propositioned at some point during her stay, LOL she wasn't-thank goodness!
 
Marriage is difficult enough to maintain. Bible thumping aside, why complicate it by bringing in additional players that will cause nothing but confusion, jealousy, strife, etc.

IMO, it is extremely unhealthy for the marriage and even if a couple finds in enjoyable in the short term (EWWWWW), I see no good coming from it in the long term.
 
Last edited:
Buckeyecurlz said:
One of my sister's college roommates recently shared with my sister that her and her husband were swingers. Yes, they are both black! My sister was visiting from another state and stayed at her friends house when this was brought up! I remember her calling me during her stay and sharing this with me...I died laughing because she felt like she may have been propositioned at some point during her stay, LOL she wasn't-thank goodness!
Click to expand...

That's so interesting to me!

I've participated in discussions like this (years ago) w/other women of color (latina, asian, black, etc.) and the consensus generally was--this was something only caucasian women did.

So when I hear and see black (and other women of color) doing this, I think.....Wow. Then, "ok. Good for you, doing something and not avoiding, based on cultural pressures, etc." One scene in the Lisa Long show, showed asian women at a play party (in addition to the black woman).

On HBO's Real S*x, swinger events featured were always pretty culturally diverse....surprising, right?
 
Last edited:
I saw some of that episode this weekend. I found it interesting that the white couple from TN said they have no feelings of jealousy or anything like that from doing this. They do it in a room together. I get the montonony of marriage and the desire for change, but there is no way *I* could be ok with knowing my SO is sleeping with someone else or worse, watching him pipe down another woman. I know for sure there is no way in helllll he'd allow me to do the same.

I found the episode very interesting and I didn't look at them with disgust, more like amazement and interest. If it works for them, kudos to them.
 
I have a friend that does this often with her boyfriends. I have never and couldn't unless it was someone I really didn't care about and we knew a couple and I really wanted to sleep with the guy.
 
Brittster said:
I saw some of that episode this weekend. I found it interesting that the white couple from TN said they have no feelings of jealousy or anything like that from doing this. They do it in a room together. I get the montonony of marriage and the desire for change, but there is no way *I* could be ok with knowing my SO is sleeping with someone else or worse, watching him pipe down another woman. I know for sure there is no way in helllll he'd allow me to do the same.

I found the episode very interesting and I didn't look at them with disgust, more like amazement and interest. If it works for them, kudos to them.
Click to expand...

Ita!
Though I watched w/my dh, and he watched w/disgust....:lol: He kept calling the couple's,"nasty." :blush:

I also wondered how the southern couple avoided people learning their "secret." It seems in small southern towns, somehow people always learn other's business....especially after the show was televised.
 
MrsJaiDiva said:
Well, I'd imagine you'd only do it with those who's smells, and liquids were pleasing to you.. :lachen:
Click to expand...

:lol:
Every time I imagine swinging... I just think of the smells. Everyone smells funny to me. Not necessarily offensive, but people who aren't my loved ones always smell kinda off to me. I can only imagine what another puss smells like :ohwell:

Does everyone shower together before swinging to ensure that all parts are properly washed? :look:
 
Blyss_curls said:
That's so interesting to me!

I've participated in discussions like this (years ago) w/other women of color (latina, asian, black, etc.) and the consensus generally was--this was something only caucasian women did.

So when I hear and see black (and other women of color) doing this, I think.....ok. Good for you, doing something and not avoiding, based on cultural pressures, etc.
Click to expand...

I know I've always felt swinging was what the "others"were into, not "US"!!

I've only meet this young lady a couple of times and I must say she in no way seems like the type!!! She's very sweet and sorta shy, so I was completely bewildered by the revelation?!?! Her and her husband don't have a traditional marriage though, he is her second husband, I believe her first husband was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. She meet her 2nd husband at a gym-he was her personal trainer. Once the got married, he stayed home and took care of her son from the first marriage. They now have a totally of three boys. She's a nurse anesthetist, so I guess financially it was better for her to keep working ...which is something else that would be hard for ME to do?! I hate being so judgmental but...guess I am. Any-who, they are really very nice peeps though!!!
 
Brittster said:
I saw some of that episode this weekend. I found it interesting that the white couple from TN said they have no feelings of jealousy or anything like that from doing this. They do it in a room together. I get the montonony of marriage and the desire for change, but there is no way *I* could be ok with knowing my SO is sleeping with someone else or worse, watching him pipe down another woman. I know for sure there is no way in helllll he'd allow me to do the same.

I found the episode very interesting and I didn't look at them with disgust, more like amazement and interest. If it works for them, kudos to them.
Click to expand...

Yea, that's the part that would kill me. I would be soooo hurt if DH didn't fly into a rage watching me get some random dudes buddy. And I know for a fact that seeing my hubby's peen anywhere Near some other woman is going to cause a blackout moment. I thought that was the point of marriage...forsaking all others, because you're totally satisfied with each other. Have those threesome's, and foursome's before the vows, not after. To each their own I guess... :ohwell:
 
Not my thing and I don't have to try it to know its not for me.

There is a poster that has shared that she and her husband are swingers.

I was added to a black unicorn (single female swinger) group on Facebook. Initially I was pissed that someone would think I'd be down and I honestly feel like she added me to see if I was down. But I would observe the conversations when I was bored at work. People in Atlanta joke about Trapeze (I have ex coworkers that went and told me about it) but the group was almost anti trapeze and talked about a black owned swingers group and they'd always have outings there or at one of the girls's house. The pictures always shocked me because I imagine swingers like I imagine nudists :look: but for the most part everyone in the group was fairly attractive, especially the women.

I'm way too territorial. I don't even want to see my man holding another woman's hand. I don't know what type of rage I'd fly into if I saw him balls deep in someone else :mad:
 
Urban said:
Smells and liquids?? What about diseases??!!! People be playin' smh :nono:

To all the swingers, yes I'm judging you. Carry on ...
Click to expand...

In response to the bold--
The play parties featured (on Lisa Ling's)made a note to show the variety of condoms and dental dams participants could choose from.

At another party, participants shared the time of their last std tests, and results. So others would be aware of what they have, and be able to make choices about whether or not they wanted to "play" w/those w/certain std's.
 
Nope, could not do it under any circumstances:nono:

I watched that episode with Lisa Ling as well..

Cant say I feel one way or the other about the stories shared. Works for them, well okay...

However, I do get that one couples statement about relating to other swingers as friends because of the openness..

I would imagine so...
 
ZedianChic said:
With LHCF's elephant memory in mind...I doubt if most people who would or have done so will say so. It may be held against them in a future thread about unicorns or shoes or eyelashes....basically any seemingly unrelated thread.

Back on topic...I will say No. I would never ever consider it.
Click to expand...

Yep. "Oh you're stuck at BSL? " Probably because you said you might swing. :lol:

Sent from yacht with Beyonce & Blue
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
You are NOT a princess.
4 5 6
Replies
171
Views
5K
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
Back
Top