Continued Contact Because They Care What You Think...why?

I remember this guy, with the ex/kid drama that he seemed to enjoy. Glad you got rid of him.

Is he doing 12 step or something, making amends? If not, it may be time to get a restraining order.
 
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ElizaBlue said:
Honestly looking back he always invited drama into our marriage with either the first or the second wife. I used to wonder why after I capped the first wife...Jesus let me say that in a different way, after I explained Texas Penal Code 33.07 to her and made it clear to them both DA's love these types of cases...she got in line...he on the other hand seemed honestly miserable that she was no longer able to bother him. So what would he do...go to pick up his daughter and of course naturally a fvck you no fvck you shouting match would break out.

That spoke volumes to me and pretty much lit a fuse (he likes confusion) that eventually went boom (Let's not do this marriage thing no mo)
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Oh there it is. Yeah he is doing all this to maybe start some ish.See, by you not responding, how is he supposed to get you to participate in some drama? Some people looove causing issues and they get bored when everything is peaceful in their life.I got people like this in my family like this. If he is like anything like my family members he may do this:

1.get you back to talking to him. he will be all friendly and be reminiscing "remember when we used to..."
2.then he would eventually bring up some past crap that happened when ya'll were married which will cause you to get pissed and curse him out. He will respond accordingly.
3.He will then get his current wife on board with this and make her think your a crazy jealous ex wife trying to ruin their marriage. She of course will want to defend her marriage. So now she will be getting in on the action.

All the while he will be acting like HE is the victim but in reality he will be instigating all of this.

So see you are supposed to Participate and respond so all of this can happen ok? He isn't getting the drama he needs!
 
SpeechieGirl said:
Oh there it is. Yeah he is doing all this to maybe start some ish.See, by you not responding, how is he supposed to get you to participate in some drama? Some people looove causing issues and they get bored when everything is peaceful in their life.I got people like this in my family like this. If he is like anything like my family members he may do this:

1.get you back to talking to him. he will be all friendly and be reminiscing "remember when we used to..."
2.then he would eventually bring up some past crap that happened when ya'll were married which will cause you to get pissed and curse him out. He will respond accordingly.
3.He will then get his current wife on board with this and make her think your a crazy jealous ex wife trying to ruin their marriage. She of course will want to defend her marriage. So now she will be getting in on the action.

All the while he will be acting like HE is the victim but in reality he will be instigating all of this.

So see you are supposed to Participate and respond so all of this can happen ok? He isn't getting the drama he needs!
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Yep! All of the above! People who are happy and have everything they want have no need to walk down memory lane. None. I predict the next email will be about someone wanting to engage me in real estate. This is why I screen all and any potential clients as to where they came from and how they came to contact me.

Right after we got divorced, my cell phone starting being bombarded with telemarketers asking for Billy Bob and it was all for insurance products....his side job. Like someone had gone on the interwebs and posted my information. Whomever it was had/has to be awfully childish and immature. I really hoped it wasn't him.
 
joy2day said:
Oh Snap! ... Not SC, girl! I was there for that, that my dear was one of, if not the most, epic thread of all time up in this camp ... I'm still waiting on the grown folks edition...:lachen:
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Awww...thank you sweetie. That makes me smile. Girl I was on a roll with that story...when we broke up I didn't know how to end it...because everyone wanted a fairytale happy ending. I may have to just tell it like it is though and send it off to the publisher.
 
hopeful said:
What's the one-year move rule? Also I hate you and SC broke up too. I never got the grown folks edition either but the PG one was lovely.
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Girl folks got preggo off the Big Girls Only Edition...actually wrote me and thanked me....:toocool:

But the one-year move rule was his promise to me that he would move to Houston within the year if I agreed to date him long distance. Well I did my part we both went back and forth visiting for the whole year and when it came time for him to move his parents told him not to....and he listened. Later he tried to make it happen but the fact that he put them and not us as his primary reason just made me feel some way. And actually it worked out better I feel, because he now has an absolutely beautiful wife and child.

We are still friends but I feel he needed distance from me even though he claimed the wife was okay with it. So I keep him at a distance...mainly because I don't trust him to do what's best for his marriage when it comes to me.
 
ElizaBlue said:
Awww...thank you sweetie. That makes me smile. Girl I was on a roll with that story...when we broke up I didn't know how to end it...because everyone wanted a fairytale happy ending. I may have to just tell it like it is though and send it off to the publisher.
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You should. People need to hear that part too. We get too caught up in the fairy tale, nobody know how to gracefully end things anymore.
 
ElizaBlue said:
Awww...thank you sweetie. That makes me smile. Girl I was on a roll with that story...when we broke up I didn't know how to end it...because everyone wanted a fairytale happy ending. I may have to just tell it like it is though and send it off to the publisher.
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I always wondered what happened. :cheers: to hoping that you find the real one or two or three as you continue on the journey.
 
Honey Bee said:
You should. People need to hear that part too. We get too caught up in the fairy tale, nobody know how to gracefully end things anymore.
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Thanks Honey Bee there was a lot more to that story than just he and I. Writing really helped me deal with losing my parents almost back to back, and then all we went through with Ike...I think it was just all too much for him and for me too.
ArrrBeee said:
I always wondered what happened. :cheers: to hoping that you find the real one or two or three as you continue on the journey.
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Thank you ArrrBee yeah life happened. But failed marriage afterwards and all I still wholeheartedly believe in love. How could I not?
 
Good for you for not responding to him. And trust me, if you changed your contact info he would find another way to get in touch with you.
 
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bluevalentine said:
Good for your for not responding to him. And trust me, if you changed your contact info he would find another way to get in touch with you.
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Yep he would....I'ma leave it just like it is...one way lane on the highway of crazy...headed to a dead end.
keyawarren said:
:lachen:

This dude really sounds like my friend's ex-husband. I only know because there's screen shots of that man's foolishness.
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Girl it's probably a whole crock of em. These days men act more and more like women than ever....too damn emotional. I need a man's man...but that ain't him.
 
ElizaBlue said:
Background:

We divorced in 2014...six months later he remarried. He's supposed to be over the moon happy. But yet...YET while I've never reached out to him...every couple of months or so I get some type of communication from him. It's either a "mistake" text to his new wife...so apologies to me I sent that to you by mistake...something random like "can you pick up another bottle of wine" type text. Or it's a long missive of an email pouring out his heart about something he thinks I think...or today a long ass email itemizing all the reasons why he needs to be vindicated form every single issue we ever had....

Here is a brief excerpt:

"I hope that this finds you and your family in good health, and blessed. I know that the last few times I reached out, you maintained radio silence, so I'm praying that today is no exception.
I want to clear up some things that have been dogging my thoughts pretty much since before the marriage ended. Perhaps they are things that you no longer think about and I'm hoping that after today, they'll be things I don't think about either. Believe it or not, I have actually achieved and found happiness, I'm not saying this in a bragging way or trying to throw anything in your face so please don't think that I hope that we spent enough time together that you know that I'm not that type of person.
one of the last things you told me was that it was your wish to see me smiling and happy with someone that I love and loves me, so if you meant it, it has happened. God has truly blessed me, I'm doing better financially than I've ever done,...
..........

Dear Ex Husband ....in the event you're lurking on this board...as you might well be...yeah...the worst has come to past we all laugh at you...now please go away and live your now perfect life...because you never should have happened to me.

Eliza Blue
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You and YOUR family? Did you have kids with this man? If so, it's still his family. If not, mazel tov! Um, if you don't have kids, can you please get a new phone account...change providers totally? Please! He's petty, insecure, jealous, manipulative, rude, suspicious,...just trying to see if you have a new man. Just trying to see if he can drive a nail in you. Cut off ALL communication with him and even here for when he's lurking. Boy, BYE! Talk about PETTY!
 
kanozas said:
You and YOUR family? Did you have kids with this man? If so, it's still his family. If not, mazel tov! Um, if you don't have kids, can you please get a new phone account...change providers totally? Please! He's petty, insecure, jealous, manipulative, rude, suspicious,...just trying to see if you have a new man. Just trying to see if he can drive a nail in you. Cut off ALL communication with him and even here for when he's lurking. Boy, BYE! Talk about PETTY!
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Lordt no....my children were grown before I met him. He knows my kids don't want to even see him on this side of town...lol
 
Dang he sounds like an abuse victim that needs closures and having issues letting go of his abuser. OP can you look back and see some issues that may hotbed f come off as mental or verbal abuse.

He has to move on and the best think you can do is ignore him. Any reply will pull him back in deeper. He needs help
 
God_Favor said:
Dang he sounds like an abuse victim that needs closures and having issues letting go of his abuser. OP can you look back and see some issues that may hotbed f come off as mental or verbal abuse.

He has to move on and the best think you can do is ignore him. Any reply will pull him back in deeper. He needs help
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You sound like a professional! Yes to all of the above.

Ok walk with me...a victim personality (not the same as someone who may have been a victim) will always see an abuser in everyone just as an abuser personality typically sees everyone as potential victims. He told me once toward the end that he has always (all his life) expected everyone to screw over him. I asked him why if he felt that way did he ever get married...no answer.

So this explained a lot to me why I never had the benefit of the doubt when joking with him...he always took whatever I said as life or death. There was never any redemption afterwards no matter what happened it was always remember that time you said you'd....

I would tell him I was joking, why do you not understand that I was making light of something. His response because when we met you told me you don't find things funny the way most people do. I was referring to sitcoms...particularly Family Guy, I don't find most sitcoms to be funny. In my opinion it was poor reasoning on his part.

I use to ask him why do you always expect the worse from people...life in general, he responded because that's just how it's always been....again victim personality. My response...when you change the way you look at things the things you look at begin to change...his response...why do I have to change the way I look at things (so I chose to stay miserable in a world of abusers)

All that to say this, I was no more his abuser than a person he's yet to meet....everyone is an abuser to a victim personality.
 
ElizaBlue said:
You sound like a professional! Yes to all of the above.

Ok walk with me...a victim personality (not the same as someone who may have been a victim) will always see an abuser in everyone just as an abuser personality typically sees everyone as potential victims. He told me once toward the end that he has always (all his life) expected everyone to screw over him. I asked him why if he felt that way did he ever get married...no answer.

So this explained a lot to me why I never had the benefit of the doubt when joking with him...he always took whatever I said as life or death. There was never any redemption afterwards no matter what happened it was always remember that time you said you'd....

I would tell him I was joking, why do you not understand that I was making light of something. His response because when we met you told me you don't find things funny the way most people do. I was referring to sitcoms...particularly Family Guy, I don't find most sitcoms to be funny. In my opinion it was poor reasoning on his part.

I use to ask him why do you always expect the worse from people...life in general, he responded because that's just how it's always been....again victim personality. My response...when you change the way you look at things the things you look at begin to change...his response...why do I have to change the way I look at things (so I chose to stay miserable in a world of abusers)

All that to say this, I was no more his abuser than a person he's yet to meet....everyone is an abuser to a victim personality.
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Do you think someone abused in his past? Maybe a controlling mother? Him bringing up feeling bad about towels is sad. I think Something happened to him and he wants you to feel bad for him. And then to jump right into another relationship?? He can't even concentrate and really move forward because he is so wrapped up in "why YOU didn't want him", and how you were "mean" to him. I've had a relationship on this end of the spectrum too. He was so draining , but i felt the need to care for him because he didn't realize his greatness and saw the worst in everything situation. His parents were verbally abusive and called him "dumb, slow" a lot. This really did a number on him till this day....


Eta: just read more of the thread. I think he is just a drama king. I feel bad for him no more lol
 
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God_Favor said:
Do you think someone abused in his past? Maybe a controlling mother? Him bringing up feeling bad about towels is sad. I think Something happened to him and he wants you to feel bad for him. And then to jump right into another relationship?? He can't even concentrate and really move forward because he is so wrapped up in "why YOU didn't want him", and how you were "mean" to him. I've had a relationship on this end of the spectrum too. He was so draining , but i felt the need to care for him because he didn't realize his greatness and saw the worst in everything situation. His parents were verbally abusive and called him "dumb, slow" a lot. This really did a number on him till this day....


Eta: just read more of the thread. I think he is just a drama king. I feel bad for him no more lol
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:And there it is!

It started much younger (but I will leave that out of this post) however, a big issue he's always had with me was that he vilified his daughter's mom. And to be true, she was probably very mean to him and is supposedly bi-polar.

But BUT that is still your child's mom and no matter how bad she is you can't take all the credit for the good a child does and assign all the negative to the other parent. I used to tell him she can't be that bad you have a beautiful and very respectful daughter. He insisted that had nothing to do with her...all him. The way he would react toward the mom was completely unhealthy and I didn't like it at all. At any rate, you can't hate someone that much without still loving them.

Granted the mom did write me a 2 page letter letting me know she now knew my address. But also that if anything ever happened to her that she's already told all her family to look at me because she knows last night I shot out all her car windows (I have no idea why I did that ya'll I guess I somehow just knew there'd be no evidence and no witnesses) so yea...she was probably certified.

But regardless...both them folks had assigned seats :happydance::happydance:....I had no business even being in that class.
 
ElizaBlue said:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:And there it is!

It started much younger (but I will leave that out of this post) however, a big issue he's always had with me was that he vilified his daughter's mom. And to be true, she was probably very mean to him and is supposedly bi-polar.

But BUT that is still your child's mom and no matter how bad she is you can't take all the credit for the good a child does and assign all the negative to the other parent. I used to tell him she can't be that bad you have a beautiful and very respectful daughter. He insisted that had nothing to do with her...all him. The way he would react toward the mom was completely unhealthy and I didn't like it at all. At any rate, you can't hate someone that much without still loving them.

Granted the mom did write me a 2 page letter letting me know she now knew my address. But also that if anything ever happened to her that she's already told all her family to look at me because she knows last night I shot out all her car windows (I have no idea why I did that ya'll I guess I somehow just knew there'd be no evidence and no witnesses) so yea...she was probably certified.

But regardless...both them folks had assigned seats :happydance::happydance:....I had no business even being in that class.
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If that doesn't sound like a TP movie, "Why did I get married 3" lol! Prepare to be the next villain in the next chapter of his life , smh
 
This is funny!!
I'm cracking up at a grown man sending accidental texts to his ex, pretending that they were for the new wife. Ctfu, loser!!
Unless you only text two people, or they are saved under the same name, then that **** isn't possible. :lol:
He is quite entertaining if you don't take him seriously. Lol
 
This dude has a history/cycle of marrying and bringing the previous ex into the marriage and with his most recent (and 4th- oh lordt) marriage he wants to bring you into the mix per usual, but you won't allow it and he is TRIPPING BALLS!:pullhair:
His attempts are F'ing hilarious and juvenile at the same time. Please keep updating us. And I agree with the other poster(s)- you should not have to change jack schit!

eta: I can't believe you're in your 50's:worship2:
 
Jas123 said:
This dude has a history/cycle of marrying and bringing the previous ex into the marriage and with his most recent (and 4th- oh lordt) marriage he wants to bring you into the mix per usual, but you won't allow it and he is TRIPPING BALLS!:pullhair:
His attempts are F'ing hilarious and juvenile at the same time. Please keep updating us. And I agree with the other poster(s)- you should not have to change jack schit!

eta: I can't believe you're in your 50's:worship2:
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Awww...thanks sweetie...yes I am...he on the other hand is only 4o something and looks like a young 55 now...he stresses himself out for absolutely no reason. If there is no stress he will surely get to making some. Not the kid tho...not with the kid.
 
JerriBlank said:
This is funny!!
I'm cracking up at a grown man sending accidental texts to his ex, pretending that they were for the new wife. Ctfu, loser!!
Unless you only text two people, or they are saved under the same name, then that **** isn't possible. :lol:
He is quite entertaining if you don't take him seriously. Lol
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It's so transparent I'm embarrassed for him...and for the new wife too...I just want to say girl...you wanted to trade places with me...now lookatcha!
 
ElizaBlue said:
Awww...thanks sweetie...yes I am...he on the other hand is only 4o something and looks like a young 55 now...he stresses himself out for absolutely no reason. If there is no stress he will surely get to making some. Not the kid tho...not with the kid.
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I see.. So, he's a schit starter on gp because he like to be in/around/involved in stressy messy situations?
 
@ElizaBlue Is this man a Scorpio? This whole thing reads like a Scorpio man.

Also, you mentioned you were the 3rd wife. Does he swap wives every year or year and half? LOL Chile.
 
Solila said:
@ElizaBlue Is this man a Scorpio? This whole thing reads like a Scorpio man.

Also, you mentioned you were the 3rd wife. Does he swap wives every year or year and half? LOL Chile.
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Chile no a Leo....totally unlike any Leo I've ever met...or Scorpio for that matter. I got hooked by a Scorpio once and I still remember that sting...they have mind games on a whole "nother" level....
 
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