Continued Contact Because They Care What You Think...why?

[Topsido]

@Cherrypie,

It's not so easy to change your email address every time someone is causing you distress except it is extremely major. We use it for work and other important and major contacts.

Op can just set up her email with rule that uses his name as an identifier. Any email received that is signed with his name automatically goes to the junk box.

 

[beingofserenity]

Exactly! Some of the stuff he brings up h3ll I don't even remember...I'm like your feelings were hurt when?

Here is another excerpt:

"There were things that you thought about me that I wrestle with daily, and just please read with an open mind and I promise you that I will never bother you again."

Daily....daily...as in every day...really dude I'm not that special and neither were we.

how long were y'all married?

 

[ElizaBlue]

OP could stop him from contacting her if she really wanted to. It's weird that he has contacted her so many times and she hasn't put a stop to it. I think it probably gives her some kind of pleasure thinking that he is pining for her.

Did you miss the part where I said he uses different phone number to text me than the one I blocked. I don't even have his new number so I can't block it. As well as different emails. Pleasure? I think not...he's a joke.

 

[ElizaBlue]

NO.
any from of contact in this case then opens the door for him to say more and contact her more.
He's using reverse psychology pretending he's ok with her not saying anything.

Has happened to me...is currently happening to me.
All I have left is total silence and blocking any calls.
Msgs/texts/emails come through and all I can do is delete.
There is no "egging him on" or taking any perverse pleasure in this.

Exactly...and the fact that he clearly says you are radio silent to me...that alone should let him know I have no discussion for him. As soon as I reciprocate in any fashion that would open the door for more direct casual conversation. Not happening. All that I hope you're happy will just lead to have you found someone and on and on. Then the new wife finds an email or text back and it looks like I've been in consort with him. Not happening.

 

[qchelle]

Ohmygoodness he sounds crazy and hilariously annoying

 

[ElizaBlue]

What are you talking about?? None of this has anything to do with that post.

She could change her phone number and email address. You can block people on social media. There are ways to stop people from contacting you if you really want to.

HE keeps using different numbers and emails. If SHE changed HERS, he can't contact her no matter what numbers he calls from....because he won't know the number...and that goes for other contact info. It's not difficult to change that stuff if you really want somebody to leave you alone.

Change my phone number and email? Are you nuts? I have had this number since 1998 and my emails are how my clients contact me. I'm not changing a pair of socks in honor of this fool.

He has nothing and it cost him nothing to change his number or add an email. I on the other hand have a govt cell and email, plus company email and phone, in addition to my private cell and email which a lot of my clients still use to contact me.

I'm sorry I know you're not nuts you caught me off guard there...but no mam I'm not restructuring a damb thing. He's not so much harassing as fodder for a new chapter. He's like I said at this point what my house uses as a punch line.

 

[ElizaBlue]

how long were y'all married?

Chile...what 6 seasons...that's all...not long. But I've written before how I was the 3rd wife and the first two wanted and probably still want him back. I think he's used to women never getting over him...well there's a first time for everything.

 

[ElizaBlue]

@Cherrypie,

It's not so easy to change your email address every time someone is causing you distress except it is extremely major. We use it for work and other important and major contacts.

Op can just set up her email with rule that uses his name as an identifier. Any email received that is signed with his name automatically goes to the junk box.

And that's only if I know the email to block it.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Okay to all of this. You're handling it the way you want to. If the situation is not bothering you, what's the problem??

Change my phone number and email? Are you nuts? I have had this number since 1998 and my emails are how my clients contact me. I'm not changing a pair of socks in honor of this fool.

He has nothing and it cost him nothing to change his number or add an email. I on the other hand have a govt cell and email, plus company email and phone, in addition to my private cell and email which a lot of my clients still use to contact me.

I'm sorry I know you're not nuts you caught me off guard there...but no mam I'm not restructuring a damb thing. He's not so much harassing as fodder for a new chapter. He's like I said at this point what my house uses as a punch line.

 

[*CherryPie*]

It's my opinion. I'm going to leave you with your crazy ex chile. Y'all deal with that.

Did you miss the part where I said he uses different phone number to text me than the one I blocked. I don't even have his new number so I can't block it. As well as different emails. Pleasure? I think not...he's a joke.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Okay to all of this. You're handling it the way you want to. If the situation is not bothering you, what's the problem??

It's my opinion. I'm going to leave you with your crazy ex chile. Y'all deal with that.

Ah come on...this is a woman's place to come and share opinions and talk about our woes...and chuckle at it all. Don't be like that.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

@Cherrypie,

It's not so easy to change your email address every time someone is causing you distress except it is extremely major. We use it for work and other important and major contacts.

Op can just set up her email with rule that uses his name as an identifier. Any email received that is signed with his name automatically goes to the junk box.

Maybe I'm stubborn but I'd hhhattteee to have to change my phone number and/or email address in this situation. Like why can't the other person be the adult and leave me the heck alone.

 

[Desert Skye]

OP I think you are handling the situation very well! I love how your not it giving him any type of attention he is looking for. He can't stand this and he wants you to pine for him like his others exes do for his ego.

Your right don't you change a damn thing in regards to email or phone. But do you think it's possible he may come around to your house/job? I heard some guys can't handle the no contact and resort to doing that.

 

[ElizaBlue]

OP I think you are handling the situation very well! I love how your not it giving him any type of attention he is looking for. He can't stand this and he wants you to pine for him like his others exes do for his ego.

Your right don't you change a damn thing in regards to email or phone. But do you think it's possible he may come around to your house/job? I heard some guys can't handle the no contact and resort to doing that.

Thank you kindly. No...he won't come anywhere near me...he's actually quite afraid of me. No need to be though. I guess perhaps if anything that is why he's trying to make sure I hold no ill will toward him. That's sad because I wouldn't even hurt a fly *Norman Bates voice

He wants us to be friends like so we can chat up each other and talk about the good ole days...that I'd be hard pressed to remember. He's the type that if I were to be his friend...he'd get around to "remember that time we...." that kinda ole lame ass sh!t.

 

[BrickbyBrick]

Remarried in 6 months.....dang

#i miss her so much
#maybe this new one will help me forget
#not working
#stalking is underrated

OP, sounds like you really dodged a bullet there.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Remarried in 6 months.....dang

#i miss her so much
#maybe this new one will help me forget
#not working
#stalking is underrated

OP, sounds like you really dodged a bullet there.

You made me laugh...well I married him...so I guess I got some ricochet!

ETA: I think he might be a serial husband...if there is such a thing.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Naw chile. Go ahead and do your thing. I ain't mad at you. I just don't like going back and forth disagreeing when I don't have a dog in this fight.

Ah come on...this is a woman's place to come and share opinions and talk about our woes...and chuckle at it all. Don't be like that.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Naw chile. Go ahead and do your thing. I ain't mad at you. I just don't like going back and forth disagreeing when I don't have a dog in this fight.

I get it and your opinion is always wanted and respected. I don't post threads for full allegiance...I post because I one am a writer and two I just don't mind hearing what others think of my highs and woes...lol. I live and I learn based on my as well others experiences too...you know?

 

[awhyley]

Everybody works differently. He's not flirting or asking her business or anything. Don't sound like he's flirting. People have so many reasons why they do strange things.

CherryPie, this dude is grasping at straws. He's dying for OP to reach out to him. The fact that he married so quickly isn't a sign that he moved on. Just the opposite in fact.

OP could stop him from contacting her if she really wanted to. It's weird that he has contacted her so many times and she hasn't put a stop to it. I think it probably gives her some kind of pleasure thinking that he is pining for her.

But then, she would have to reach out to him, (which is exactly what he wants).

[eta: Didn't read the entire thread. Why should OP have to change her number? I would have on to the msgs/texts though, just in case you may need a restraining order or something].

 

[TCatt86]

I don't think he's trying to get you back...and he could truly be happy in his marriage.

A lot of times, when people start trying to work on themselves, they try to fix the past. Try to settle issues with people the think they've done wrong or that's angry with them. They're just trying to become more positive and right the wrongs they've had with people that was important to them....and get rid of past guilt.

If he were trying to get your attention as in wanting you back, he would probably say flirtatious things or ask you personal things about yourself. He didn't do ANY of that.

I think he's trying to find peace....and make peace.

That's possible and I would agree with you. If not for the "I hope this time is no exception" line regarding her not contacting him back. That's an attempt to manipulate her into contact. Because how are you going to email someone and then say no need to contact me back. For all that he could've written a letter and burned it. Most people would be like "hell naw. You aren't going to tell me what to do!" He knows that and is hoping he can bait her into a response.

 

[ElizaBlue]

That's possible and I would agree with you. If not for the "I hope this time is no exception" line regarding her not contacting him back. That's an attempt to manipulate her into contact. Because how are you going to email someone and then say no need to contact me back. For all that he could've written a letter and burned it. Most people would be like "hell naw. You aren't going to tell me what to do!" He knows that and is hoping he can bait her into a response.

Lol...girl you make him sound a lot smarter than he is...but yeah in his mind he thinks he's quite cunning. Some of the vitriol he use to write on Huffpost was embarrassing. He use to tell me to read something he'd written and it'd be like two whole screens with no paragraphs...my eyes just refused to even cooperate.... but yeah...even the dumbest of them all can be controlling and he is passive aggressive to the nth degree.

I was going through deleting all his presence from my laptop and found that he was on this site called "I hate my wife" or something like that. Doing his most to say why he was so unhappy...the guys on that site went in and were like "damb man you again" "can I have your wife she sounds like an angel" "dude why you washing clothes anyway go outside and cut the yard" it was hilarious.

 

[ElizaBlue]

CherryPie, this dude is grasping at straws. He's dying for OP to reach out to him. The fact that he married so quickly isn't a sign that he moved on. Just the opposite in fact.

It does make me feel a tad bit sorry for ole girl. I mean if my new husband was doing this type of stuff...I'd really have to step back and evaluate what do I actually have here.

But then, she would have to reach out to him, (which is exactly what he wants).

[eta: Didn't read the entire thread. Why should OP have to change her number? I would have on to the msgs/texts though, just in case you may need a restraining order or something].

Yep I was just telling my daughter, that I have all the text and all the messages. I don't think he would ever come at me, but just in case he tried to make some implication toward me to the wife or something. Then again folks can change...I never put anything past anyone.

 

[junipertree]

I don't see why you should change your number. You're clearly just venting here - it's not that deep.....

I have an ex that does this same thing. And I haven't seen dude in over 10 years. Every 6 months or so he will text me or call me with some craziness. I used to respond thinking maybe he just wanted closure but then I realized he's just crazy. Now I just block his number or when he uses a new number to text I just ignore. Too much hassle to change my cell number I've had for over 10 years for someone who I can simply ignore......

 

[Mortons]

I have had my number for double digit years and I ain't changing it for no fool. He needs to come to some kind of peace about the end of the relationship and stop contacting her. He will eventually but op need not change her life to make it happen.

 

[C@ssandr@]

OP , my friend's ex-husband does mess like this too. They have 2 daughters together. He'll write them letters but add passive aggressive messages in there. Like wtf? They're only 4 and 5 this part definitely wasn't for them

It's crazy how they'll get hung up when you don't respond the way they want you to. I can understand months. But years and he has a new wife? Come on bro!

 

[lux10023]

i def see why you divorced him..i cant even tell you how draining this dude sounds..omggg....
barffffffffff...like barrfffffff

 

[chocolatethai]

I would reply with a restraining order and/or an email to his current wife with all the messages he sent to me and cc him on it . I had a crazy ex that sent me a message on Facebook I think 2 years after I ended it, why was this fool talking about he now works for NASA yes NASA lol and lost 70 lbs and all kinds of nonsense that I didn't believe. How does one go from debt collector to Rocket Scientist in 2 short years??? I just ignored him and laughed with my friends

 

[ElizaBlue]

Well ladies....I...really don't know what to say now....this was in my company email when I came home...let me also add...I have several linked in accounts and he sent an invite to all three

 

[qchelle]

yo this is great

 

[hopeful]

Pure comedy .