Congratulations Zaynab!!!

[PretteePlease]

Haha not really. I just only told people I wanted to know but no more than maybe 20 people. And probably five of y'all from here that I know. Yes, people who didn't know were/are BIG mad

So when we going to a wine bar Tasting Room in City Centre, Wine Dive and a couple of others are good . I'll buy the first round MOSCATO ON ME

 

[negrita desesperada]

I know I'm late , but congratulations Sis!!!

 

[Zaynab]

So when we going to a wine bar Tasting Room in City Centre, Wine Dive and a couple of others are good . I'll buy the first round MOSCATO ON ME

I'll pretend I didn't see the use of Moscato

 

[JFemme]

So, so happy for you Z... (one of my fave posters)

thought about you all evening... moving on like a boss...lol

Wishing you much happiness gal...

 

[bajandoc86]

Congratulations @Zaynab!! Wishing you and your hubby all the best! Blessings and Love!

 

[ShortyDooWhop]

Sent

Ditto, please!

 

[ShortyDooWhop]

Congrats Zaynab!

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Congratulations!!!

 

[hopeful]

You already know how happy I am for you! But I will go ahead and add my congrats . You deserve all of the happiness your beautiful heart can hold. I wish you many years of happiness and joy.

 

[Zuleika]

Congratulations!

 

[khadicurls]

Congratulations to you and your hubby!

 

[pink gator]

Congratulations, Soror!!!

 

[Zaynab]

Gangsta @Zaynab, when and if you feel like it, would love a recap of how you went about post divorce life and got what you wanted. So many women are afraid to leave these dead end relationships bc they're afraid of what's out there but you're a testimony that you can find love again and quickly too!

I don't think marriages that end are failures. The time was just over. That's what women get hung up on in relationships, married or not. It ended and there are a million more men and many more years of happiness out there.

ETA: Oh sure I will recap. Which refutes the fear mongering and negative media alot of women believe, there are no 'good' black men/BM don't marry BW/Can't find a man and I'm 30 so I'm gonna adopt, etc. So the argument many members used against me when I would say here's how to date to marry...ended with 'oh Z but you got married when dating was different.' Well 17 years later, I'm here to tell you, at 41 divorced and two kids, nope dating is the same and so are men.

 

[Zaynab]

You already know how happy I am for you! But I will go ahead and add my congrats . You deserve all of the happiness your beautiful heart can hold. I wish you many years of happiness and joy.

Thank you so much for all our chats and counting down the days with me!

 

[Zaynab]

So, so happy for you Z... (one of my fave posters)

thought about you all evening... moving on like a boss...lol

Wishing you much happiness gal...

Awwww thank you that means alot since you've been like my pretend mom (in my head) around here through the years

 

[awhyley]

Oh he proposed after 4 months but logistics/moving, etc. so I coulda sealed the deal sooner Like @Femmefatal1981 and I always say, my mama and grandmama taught me

Dang, that was really fast. *Heads back to the 'Wife School' thread for more pointers*

 

[Mai Tai]

Congrats @Zaynab !!!!!!!

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

Congrats!!!

I remember you giving me pointers a few years back re respect and marriage and some good reading material.

 

[hopeful]

Thank you so much for all our chats and counting down the days with me!

It was my pleasure! So fun and exciting. You were a beautiful bride. Your new dh is very lucky.

 

[NICOLETHENUMBERONE]

Congratulations! Don't know why I missed this.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Congratulations! Wishing you wedded bliss!

 

[Menina Preta]

I don't think marriages that end are failures. The time was just over. That's what women get hung up on in relationships, married or not. It ended and there are a million more men and many more years of happiness out there.

ETA: Oh sure I will recap. Which refutes the fear mongering and negative media alot of women believe, there are no 'good' black men/BM don't marry BW/Can't find a man and I'm 30 so I'm gonna adopt, etc. So the argument many members used against me when I would say here's how to date to marry...ended with 'oh Z but you got married when dating was different.' Well 17 years later, I'm here to tell you, at 41 divorced and two kids, nope dating is the same and so are men.

Yup. You are clear proof that a lot of the advice on how to get the right man to act right and propose is timeless! I am a full believer in that.

 

[GoingBack]

Many congratulations, Zaynab!

 

[hopeful]

I don't think marriages that end are failures. The time was just over. That's what women get hung up on in relationships, married or not. It ended and there are a million more men and many more years of happiness out there.

ETA: Oh sure I will recap. Which refutes the fear mongering and negative media alot of women believe, there are no 'good' black men/BM don't marry BW/Can't find a man and I'm 30 so I'm gonna adopt, etc. So the argument many members used against me when I would say here's how to date to marry...ended with 'oh Z but you got married when dating was different.' Well 17 years later, I'm here to tell you, at 41 divorced and two kids, nope dating is the same and so are men.

ITA with the bolded. We break up with friends, jobs, organizations, etc. all of the time. It's part of life. Learn what you need to learn, grow up some more, and KIM.

 

[Zaynab]

Yup. You are clear proof that a lot of the advice on how to get the right man to act right and propose is timeless! I am a full believer in that.

I think men have changed, a bit. But we still hold the power. And I find it interesting most women think men drive the dating, they don't. If you set the standard, they must meet it. I don't need my feminists crew saying I'm blaming women, I'm not.

Example: (Because literally someone inboxed me about dating/texting and here's my reply):

In my post divorce dating, if a guy texted me, I didn't reply. Like not at all, no. If you want to seriously date me, then do so. They were then forced to either 1) stop texting/calling or 2) pick up the phone and have a conversation. I never had one that didn't pick up the phone. The thing is, I also never explained or mentioned why I never replied to any texts, if you set a standard, it stands on it's own. If you have to explain it, then what you're saying is, you don't believe/respect it yourself -then why would he? So, women are like "all he does is text, etc. I want to be called, courted." Well don't reply. Because you hold the power.

 

[Zaynab]

ITA with the bolded. We break up with friends, jobs, organizations, etc. all of the time. It's part of life. Learn what you need to learn, grow up some more, and KIM.

Right. We will put more effort into a career.

I think if a woman wants to get married, she should treat it like a full time job. And not be ashamed to say and do so.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

Oh he proposed after 4 months but logistics/moving, etc. so I coulda sealed the deal sooner Like @Femmefatal1981 and I always say, my mama and grandmama taught me

Tell it...

 

[hopeful]

I think men have changed, a bit. But we still hold the power. And I find it interesting most women think men drive the dating, they don't. If you set the standard, they must meet it. I don't need my feminists crew saying I'm blaming women, I'm not.

Example: (Because literally someone inboxed me about dating/texting and here's my reply):

In my post divorce dating, if a guy texted me, I didn't reply. Like not at all, no. If you want to seriously date me, then do so. They were then forced to either 1) stop texting/calling or 2) pick up the phone and have a conversation. I never had one that didn't pick up the phone. The thing is, I also never explained or mentioned why I never replied to any texts, if you set a standard, it stands on it's own. If you have to explain it, then what you're saying is, you don't believe/respect it yourself -then why would he? So, women are like "all he does is text, etc. I want to be called, courted." Well don't reply. Because you hold the power.

Women worry he won't call then and will stop pursuing them. Please tell them that if this happened you wouldn't have cared. Pretty please.

 

[Zaynab]

Tell it...

You know, as we say. These grandmas and mamas are failing. My grandmother had 9 kids by her first husband, she met and married a man with NO kids, then dropped #10 on him. In 1950.

 

[Allandra]

Amen. I wish women would stop believing texting is communicating / 'talking'. It is not.

I think men have changed, a bit. But we still hold the power. And I find it interesting most women think men drive the dating, they don't. If you set the standard, they must meet it. I don't need my feminists crew saying I'm blaming women, I'm not.

Example: (Because literally someone inboxed me about dating/texting and here's my reply):

In my post divorce dating, if a guy texted me, I didn't reply. Like not at all, no. If you want to seriously date me, then do so. They were then forced to either 1) stop texting/calling or 2) pick up the phone and have a conversation. I never had one that didn't pick up the phone. The thing is, I also never explained or mentioned why I never replied to any texts, if you set a standard, it stands on it's own. If you have to explain it, then what you're saying is, you don't believe/respect it yourself -then why would he? So, women are like "all he does is text, etc. I want to be called, courted." Well don't reply. Because you hold the power.