Congrats!! your getting married..but wait,., HUH?!

What would you do?

  • Say nothing..mind your business?

    Votes: 23 48.9%

  • Offer advice to wait and meet him first?

    Votes: 24 51.1%
  • Total voters
    47
M

*~Mocha~*

Well-Known Member
You've never met the GUY!! what!!

my moms friend is getting married in a few months and its to a guy thats shes NEVER met and shes going to Panama to get married.. She has been so desperate for a man.. she has met several man after chatting on the phone/online for while, once they met here they decided the want to run.. She has never had a real relationship.. she even had her friend hook her up one time and once they met after telephone courting.. he called his friend and ask why the hell did you set me up with an ugly girl..

Ok, this wedding is Bad news IMO.. it could also prove to be a well lasting relationship..what would you do?
 
If it were my friend I would just keep asking her lots of questions that would reveal that she does not know him well enough and that it is a hasty decision. If she is resistent and determined to marry him I would just pray for her because the odds of this working out are very very slim. The odds of her being hurt or scammed are very high. I feel sorry for her.
 
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Yea..everyone we spoke to thinks shes CRAZY.but no one is stopping her.. She lives with her sister and her sister isnt even going to the wedding..
 
HairCrisis07 said:
once they met after telephone courting.. he called his friend and ask why the hell did you set me up with an ugly girl.
Click to expand...

Yeah this is going to end badly, but if she really is unattractive then this might be her only shot at getting married.

I know I know...all a woman needs is confidence....well, confidence ain't go turn a 2 into a 10. :drunk:

Sometimes the medicine that people need is to get what they want. :ohwell:
 
Why is she meeting him in unknown territory?

Why can't come to her?

Desperate or not, she's endangering her life.

Have they seen pics of each other, and if so, how do they know it's them?

How old is she?
 
I agree with Hopeful. Keep asking her questions about him and his past. Hopefully she will see that she doesn't know him and that marriage is a bad idea right now.

If a guy didn't want to keep dating her after their first meeting, how she figures on marrying this new guy?
 
If she's that desperate as described there's not much else one can do, she's an adult.

If it's a friend of family member I would talk endlessly about her making sure she is safe in Panama, discuss what's going on from all angles and wish her well.
 
sky_blu said:
That sounds crazy but to each their own. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

I agree, sound weird to me but who am I to say. A lady that use to work at the local printing shop married someone she had never met online. She went out to be with him a week before the wedding. I saw her recently and her has a child and looks to be happy. He has moved here so she can be close to her family. They has been married longer than I have, so lets say they have been married for 12 years.
 
JCoily said:
Yeah this is going to end badly, but if she really is unattractive then this might be her only shot at getting married.

I know I know...all a woman needs is confidence....well, confidence ain't go turn a 2 into a 10. :drunk:

Sometimes the medicine that people need is to get what they want. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but that is funny :lachen:

She must be well beyond ugly if she can't find anyone or something else must be wrong with her mental state and or personality. Because even the ugliest of the people get and stay happiliy married.
 
pisceschica said:
I'm sorry but that is funny :lachen:

She must be well beyond ugly if she can't find anyone or something else must be wrong with her mental state and or personality. Because even the ugliest of the people get and stay happiliy married.
Click to expand...

:lachen::lachen::lachen:that's the truth.
 
Normally I would advocate not saying anything, but with kidnapping and deaths happening because of that sort of thing, I say talk to her about it. It's not as if she's going to the otherside of the country - a phone call or text/email away, she's going to Panama. Trust me, I have been in Panama (was there a month and a half for a missions trip- going back yea!) and you don't want to get lost out there. I'm concerned, frankly. Why can't she pool her money together and have him come here?
It'd be safer, and if it doesn't work out, he can take a flight back sooner rather than later.
HTH!
 
Oh no! I wish she hadn't already set her mind on marrying him.

It is fine to meet people online... but that is really just a meeting... one really gets to know the real person in real life and that cannot really be substituted by phone calls or emails.

I wish she just said she is going to meet him first and see where it goes. If she goes to Panama with the mindset that she is going to meet her future hubby and she is desperate to get married her judgement may be severely clouded and she may be blind to the red flags that may be there.
 
See, I'm torn on this issue. There are so many variables involved.

At first, I thought so what that she has not met him, in person. There are many cultures that it is perfectly normal to marry someone that the person has never met. I am thinking of arranged marriages here. These marriages last longer, on average, than traditional Western style arrangements.

But then the desperation she appears to have and the fact that she is going to Panama is sort of scary. However, his people could be telling him the same thing...that she just may be a whack job, no offense.

Iono, LOL! I hope everything works out for the best for her.
 
dlewis said:
I agree, sound weird to me but who am I to say. A lady that use to work at the local printing shop married someone she had never met online. She went out to be with him a week before the wedding. I saw her recently and her has a child and looks to be happy. He has moved here so she can be close to her family. They has been married longer than I have, so lets say they have been married for 12 years.
Click to expand...

Off Topic:
@DLewis. ah suki suki now your siggy photos are smoking
 
I would give 1 warning of caution from my opinion. If she further pursued the issue I'd lay all my cards out on the table for her. If she didn't want to hear anymore about it I'd keep my mouth shut.
 
oooooooh that is very risky!!!!!! Why the rush to get married? why can't they just meet and hang out first??????? You can't really know someone too well without actually spending time with them..not just over the phone but face to face. I hope that it works for them..you never know.... it may...
 
I'd advise her not to take that plane. No problem spending the money{still questionable as he should take on the expense of coming to her} then give the ticket to him, have him fly here. No way should she go to Panama for this man.:nono::nono:
 
I see that this was on the 1st page.. I guess someone voted and it got bumped.
so i decided to follow up..
*** the wedding happened.. I didnt go but the pictures were beautiful, shes in love and is pregnant.. I just hope the guy isnt using her for visa..lol but sad.. I do hope for the best for her.
 
*~Mocha~* said:
I see that this was on the 1st page.. I guess someone voted and it got bumped.
so i decided to follow up..
*** the wedding happened.. I didnt go but the pictures were beautiful, shes in love and is pregnant.. I just hope the guy isnt using her for visa..lol but sad.. I do hope for the best for her.
Click to expand...

All I can say is wow!!!!!!!
 
I have family in Panama and trust me, it's no playground. You need to try and talk to her because it's not a joke.
 
Sometimes, there's nothing anyone can say, when you're determined...especially with matters of the heart. It will be a tough lesson to learn. Hopefully, she'll learn from this sooner rather than later.

Maybe, recommend pre-marital counseling??

ETA: Hi, sorry, I just saw that this was an old post and the wedding happened.
 
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panamoni said:
Sometimes, there's nothing anyone can say, when you're determined...especially with matters of the heart. It will be a tough lesson to learn. Hopefully, she'll learn from this sooner rather than later.

Maybe, recommend pre-marital counseling??

ETA: Hi, sorry, I just saw that this was an old post and the wedding happened.
Click to expand...


I'm just seeing this for the first time too. Any other updates, OP?
 
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