Can't Tell My Friends/family Because I'm Too Embarrassed

[natural_one]

but I have to tell someone..

My boyfriend got a woman pregnant while we were broken up. Beyond everything, i'm embarrassed because he has met all my family, we share a group of friends and had made plans to get married. I feel like a fool to think I had a "good" man and that I would get my happily ever after. I'm in shock right now, mad, confused, and a bit numb. I probably wont reply to this thread because i'm about to lay down and cry myself to sleep...I just needed to tell someone...

Edited to add: We broke up after he told me

 

[Cheleigh]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's one of the worst feelings. It hurts now, and will hurt for a long while, but one day...one day you'll thank your lucky stars that this didn't happen after you were married.

 

[Keen]

 

[LivingInPeace]

OP, you aren't the fool, he is. Chalk it up to the game and walk away now.

 

[Foxglove]

Are you still together?

 

[KimPossibli]

Are you staying together?
If you're not.. Cry as long as you need to

if you are staying.. I don't know

Either way.. my thoughts are with you.

 

[natural_one]

Are you still together?

Negative..He just came by ,told me and we broke up

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Awwww I'm so sorry to hear this OP....

Like it was mentioned earlier....you have absolutely NOTHING to be embarrassed or ashamed of. HE'S the one who should be feeling embarrassed and ashamed. You did nothing wrong.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but maybe it is good you found this out NOW and not after you two got married.

I wish you all the best....

 

[TayMac]

I'm sorry OP, . I'm sure you are a bundle of emotions at this point, please take care of yourself.

Don't be embarrassed. His actions are not a reflection on you.

 

[ThickRoot]

Hugs and love. Sorry you're going through this I know you are hurting and in shock. Since you guys broke up don't be worried about who you have to tell and when. Focus on your own healing first. If you chose to share that info with your people you'll know when the time is right.

 

[God_Favor]

U should not be embarrassed! His actions have no reflections on you. Why are you carrying his load ? It's not yours to carry. Let it go and don't carry this into your next relationship.

And if they"break baby" takes you to a raw and emotional place, you may just need to cut off all contact. Don't take on this dudes "ish"!

You can and will heal, you have so many more great things in life to look forward too. This will be a distant memory before you know it

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

ehuggs

 

[kandake]

I'm sorry.

 

[hopeful]

So sorry OP. This is really sad. How could he? Trust that this too shall pass and you will be fine, and you will end up with a much better man. Hang in in there dear.

 

[PretteePlease]

we rebuke break babies :NONO:

OP run from him shun him don' t reply to him

 

[Buckeyecurlz]

I'm sorry hun but you should definitely NOT be the one who feels embarrased-he should!

*hugs*

 

[Layluh]

I'm so sorry this happened...you'll love that it happened later though. Promise.

 

[MrsTimberlake]

Hugs OP! Like everyone else has stated, you definitely should not feel embarrassed.

 

[aviddiva77]

I'm so sorry he treated you that way and hurt you so badly. But I agree with the other ladies. Consider it a hurtful blessing that you found out before you two got married. Cry all you need to. *hugs*

 

[Kimbosheart]

I'm so proud of you for knowing your worth and breaking up with him.

Everything your feeling is ok right now. This is a brutal betrayal. Cry your heart out, go get some comfort- your mom's arms, bible, girlfriends. Whatever you need. Give yourself a timeline to wallow in this and let it out with all you have. (maybe stay inside if you're anything like me when I'm in pity mode) When your time is up step out of the house looking fly as all get out, cut that hair, get some new clothes and makeup and go have a party. Even a fun one night stand (protected of course). You are amazing and beautiful and your path is now clear for something so much better to come your way.

I know I always say it, but if you can go see a counselor to help you process through these feelings and move forward.

 

[Always~Wear~Joy]

E-hugs. Sending positive vibes.

 

[onyxdreams]

Negative..He just came by ,told me and we broke up

OP you tell them just that! You have nothing to be ashamed of as a matter of fact you dodged a bullet. I know it's painful right now but you did the right thing. Hold your head high!

 

[awhyley]

I'm assume that he came by to tell you because the other woman was going to make the announcement. Like onyxdreams stated, you truly dodged a bullet, and you may hurt right now but in the long run, you'll be able to smile at this. It's none of your family's business anyways.

Take it day by day, and the pain will receded. Hugs to you.

 

[LiftedUp]

Break ups are hard especially under these types of circumstances.

These men are just idiots sometimes. Sigh.

Cry as much as you need to, we're here for you

 

[natural_one]

Thanks everyone for your replies...I feel and look like sh*t right now..my eyes are so swollen that i need to take the day off..I dont understand men, and I swear i never will..you give them everything..EVERYTHING...and it's still not enough..smh

 

[God_Favor]

Thanks everyone for your replies...I feel and look like sh*t right now..my eyes are so swollen that i need to take the day off..I dont understand men, and I swear i never will..you give them everything..EVERYTHING...and it's still not enough..smh

Awwwww, sending tons of positive vibes your way! Take your day to take care of you. Sometime mental health days do wonders.

He was unworthy of having been given your everything. You are more than enough for a man that is ready for a real commitment.

Don't lets his actions dictate your reality. Don't bring this into your world. U have all the power to not let his actions rule your thoughts and outlook.

He has offered a great opportunity for growth . Am sure the break up occurred for a very valid reason .

 

[lana]

I'm sorry too @natural_one. I really don't feel as if you have anything to be embarrassed about. Are you worried about the backlash from social media?

Like I'm wondering - is the other woman going to post "I'm having Tyrone's baby!!!" on her facebook page and all your friends/family will know?

I hope that's not the case. In most cases, I never ask people why they broke up. If anyone asks you, just realize that they should be more concerned about YOU than the reasons why. You could even tell them that. No need to share the details with anyone unless you want to.

Try a cool cloth for the eyes, cry when you need to and don't worry - this too shall pass.

Not telling you what to do, but if he broke up with you - cut off all contact, don't respond to texts, shoot change your number and don't ever EVER speak to him again. That drives men crazy! No response, is the best response.

 

[LadyPBC]

I'm with you @natural_one! I can imagine why you feel embarrassed even though you did nothing wrong. You pour so much into a relationship and commit yourself only to have the guy act as if it meant nothing and seemingly move on as if he's not pining away for you or trying to repair the broken relationship. Wish I could take your pain away unfortunately I can't. On the bright side you will emerge wiser and stronger. Blessings!

 

[Kimbosheart]

You've had some great advice, cut off all contact with him for at least 6 months. Even if there is a chance that you want to get back with him and forgive him, give yourself some time to make that choice and him some time to show you how he has changed. Don't do anything on anyone else's timeline.

Also, regarding embarassment, hopefully you've got some good people in your camp who will shut ish down on social media and gatherings. Don't bring him up and when people ask just tell them you'd rather not say and the relationship is over. end of story.

I've seen this happen a few times in real life and have a similar experience myself- just remember that all things are working for your good.

 

[lana]

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, but can you imagine if this happened WHILE you were married? Dodged a bullet, isn't even the half of it.