Can Y'all Look At This With Me Pls????

msbettyboop

msbettyboop

Well-Known Member
So I have a friend who's been seeing this guy for a year. They moved in together after they'd being dating for less than a month because he was laid off and he needed somewhere to stay and they cared about each other :drunk:.....

Anyhoo, dude eventually got another job (great paying one) and all seemed well then she started complaining about a few things specifically, a penchant for packing his suitcase at the last minute and then informing her literally five minutes before heading for the door that he's spending the weekend with his boys watching the play offs or world series or something (he's Bahamian). I tried to tell her as gently as possible that this **** isn't normal but she put up with it.

Finally, things went south a few days ago when he waited for her to fall asleep, snuck out of the house and sent a text message 10 mins later saying he's spending the night outside. No explanation as to where....:eek:. Who lives the comfort of a warm woman in a warm bed at 1 am in the morning to go chill with the boys??????

My friend packed his bags and set it outside for him right nice and told him to move in with his boys since he loves spending so much time with them.

So my question is - this isn't normal, right? Because dude is back and trying to convince her she is insane, overreacting and behaving totally crazy....

Is it normal for a man to pack his bag and tell you 5 minutes before heading out that he's going to chill with the boys for 2 nights??? And keep on doing it after you've told him repeatedly how upsetting you find this? And you're supposed to be in a committed relationship together?
 
SuchaLady said:
It should've ended here. No, that is not normal and he is not chilling with his friends. He is spending time with his other girlfriend.
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Tell me about it. I tried to tell her it was bullcrap at the time but she'd woven this fairy tale in her head about why it was valid to let a man you've dated less than a month move in with you...
 
You know what's up and so does she. But yeah I would stay out of it. She'll get tired soon enough. You know that none of this is normal. I can't imagine someone allowing anyone to move into their home after only a month. That boggles my mind. And it if she wants to believe he's hanging with his boys and not other women then oh well. What can you do? All I can say is that she must be very lonely and/or very naive.
 
Bahamian or not, this dude sounds like a lying manipulator. He's coming off as 'entitled' and spoiled, used to getting his own way. The next time he leaves the house with his stuff, she needs to change the locks. (Next time, tell her to stop shacking up with people she's only known for a month).
 
hopeful said:
You know what's up and so does she. But yeah I would stay out of it. She'll get tired soon enough. You know that none of this is normal. I can't imagine someone allowing anyone to move into their home after only a month. That boggles my mind. And it if she wants to believe he's hanging with his boys and not other women then oh well. What can you do? All I can say is that she must be very lonely and/or very naive.
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I think she's one of those women that are incapable of being alone, even for a little bit. She NEEDS to be in a relationship, like she needs to breath..... oh well, staying my butt out of it now. Hope she doesn't drag my bu**t out of bed at midnight for support the next time this **** goes down.
 
msbettyboop said:
I think she's one of those women that are incapable of being alone, even for a little bit. She NEEDS to be in a relationship, like she needs to breath..... oh well, staying my butt out of it now. Hope she doesn't drag my bu**t out of bed at midnight for support the next time this **** goes down.
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Personally, I wouldn't answer calls like that . . .

IronButterfly said:
At least she had enough sense to finally kick him out. Some women would have put up with this mess for years.
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Re-read above thread from OP, her friend and the guy they're back on.
 
When they start telling you you're crazy, you know they're up to no good. Your friend is just plain stupid and she will eventually pay the price for that stupidity. I hope it doesn't cost her her life (HIV). Cause if it's women or he's on the DL (hanging with the boys) both are situations for a LOT of germs to be exchanged. Good luck to her, but it couldn't be me.
 
Just to update y'all, he said he left because she was snoring and he couldn't sleep. Yep, you heard it here first. If you're snoring and your man can't sleep, he sneaks out after midnight to spend the night somewhere else because he's really tired and needed to rest. Apparently, the very comfortable couch in the living room or the second bedroom in the house wasn't far enough away from her snoring :perplexed: :perplexed: :perplexed:....

She still doesn't know where he spent the night, spent an hour on the phone blaming herself for driving him away with her snoring and now things are back to normal between them and they looked at a house together over the weekend...

Lord, I can't believe I'm friends with someone THIS foolish.... in the end I told her she needs to make the best decision for herself and her happiness and she needs to love herself, and I don't think anyone should be in a relationship where they're having such hassles after only a year together when you should still be in the honeymoon phase...

PS. He also said he's an adult and a grown man and he can come and go as he pleases and doesn't require her permission.
 
msbettyboop said:
Just to update y'all, he said he left because she was snoring and he couldn't sleep. Yep, you heard it here first. If you're snoring and your man can't sleep, he sneaks out after midnight to spend the night somewhere else because he's really tired and needed to rest. Apparently, the very comfortable couch in the living room or the second bedroom in the house wasn't far enough away from her snoring :perplexed: :perplexed: :perplexed:....

She still doesn't know where he spent the night, spent an hour on the phone blaming herself for driving him away with her snoring and now things are back to normal between them and they looked at a house together over the weekend...

Lord, I can't believe I'm friends with someone THIS foolish.... in the end I told her she needs to make the best decision for herself and her happiness and she needs to love herself, and I don't think anyone should be in a relationship where they're having such hassles after only a year together when you should still be in the honeymoon phase...

PS. He also said he's an adult and a grown man and he can come and go as he pleases and doesn't require her permission.
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Lawwwd
 
Well if they are looking at a house together, THEY are thinking about moving. THIS is a GOOD TIME 4YOUR FRIEND TO MOVE ON!!!!!!

1. He's creeping,
2. He's creepy
3. He's telling her she's crazy for having legitimate concerns
4. (it doesn't sound like) He's put a ring on it.
5. They are looking to buy a house together?....despite (1-4?)
6. He thinks it's good to leave the house at O'Dark-thirty cause his partner snores
7. He's a grown man ....doing childish and possibly risky stuff; and calling her crazy
8. He ain't no prince charming


But if your girl want's to hang in there a few more years. Good for her, but (if I were you OP) I wouldn't waste not nary minute of my life listening to her complain nor worrying about their "grown arses" given all you know about them.

As they say there is a lid for every trashcan, and if she thinks this is a good fit, then.......:confused::mad::D OK :drunk: !
 
Last edited:
msbettyboop said:
Just to update y'all, he said he left because she was snoring and he couldn't sleep. Yep, you heard it here first. If you're snoring and your man can't sleep, he sneaks out after midnight to spend the night somewhere else because he's really tired and needed to rest. Apparently, the very comfortable couch in the living room or the second bedroom in the house wasn't far enough away from her snoring :perplexed: :perplexed: :perplexed:....

She still doesn't know where he spent the night, spent an hour on the phone blaming herself for driving him away with her snoring and now things are back to normal between them and they looked at a house together over the weekend...

Lord, I can't believe I'm friends with someone THIS foolish.... in the end I told her she needs to make the best decision for herself and her happiness and she needs to love herself, and I don't think anyone should be in a relationship where they're having such hassles after only a year together when you should still be in the honeymoon phase...

PS. He also said he's an adult and a grown man and he can come and go as he pleases and doesn't require her permission.
Click to expand...

IJUSTCANT.gif



I have no words..... You know it's bad when I don't have any words to say lol.... :lol:
 
:lachen:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I busted out laughing. I like the nasty man from afar for being ballsy. Lol, I've head some bs but this has to be up there.

Reminds me of my ex's brother in law. Went to work on Friday and didn't come home. The wife started calling and looking for him. He switched off his phone.

Called his job and they confirmed that he came to work and left as usual. On Saturday, my ex and his sister went and filed a missing person's report with the police.

The whole family and lots of friends were going all over looking for man, putting fliers and posters up.

Long story short, this fool came home Sunday night, talking about he fell asleep on the train for 3 days. They live at Elephant and Castle (UK ladies help me out here). It took the grace of God not to be planning a funeral that night.


msbettyboop said:
Just to update y'all, he said he left because she was snoring and he couldn't sleep. Yep, you heard it here first. If you're snoring and your man can't sleep, he sneaks out after midnight to spend the night somewhere else because he's really tired and needed to rest. Apparently, the very comfortable couch in the living room or the second bedroom in the house wasn't far enough away from her snoring :perplexed: :perplexed: :perplexed:....

She still doesn't know where he spent the night, spent an hour on the phone blaming herself for driving him away with her snoring and now things are back to normal between them and they looked at a house together over the weekend...

Lord, I can't believe I'm friends with someone THIS foolish.... in the end I told her she needs to make the best decision for herself and her happiness and she needs to love herself, and I don't think anyone should be in a relationship where they're having such hassles after only a year together when you should still be in the honeymoon phase...

PS. He also said he's an adult and a grown man and he can come and go as he pleases and doesn't require her permission.
Click to expand...
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
IJUSTCANT.gif



I have no words..... You know it's bad when I don't have any words to say lol.... :lol:
Click to expand...

It's insane, right? I tried to reason with her that he could have slept on the couch in the living room or the other bedroom. They live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I asked her, do you snore like Godzilla or what???? But she RATIONALISED it. She explained it away.

This guy said goodnight to you at 11:30 after dinner and you went to bed while he took a shower. You woke up at 12:30 and he was gone and sent you a text message that he'll sleep outside. Nothing about why or WHERE!!! Lordddddddddddddddd........

I should leave it alone but it's painful to watch your friend being played. Aaarghhhhhhh.....
 
msbettyboop said:
PS. He also said he's an adult and a grown man and he can come and go as he pleases and doesn't require her permission.
Click to expand...

Well he should have his adult, grown man ass in his own place then. SMH!

Topsido said:
Long story short, this fool came home Sunday night, talking about he fell asleep on the train for 3 days. They live at Elephant and Castle (UK ladies help me out here). It took the grace of God not to be planning a funeral that night.
Click to expand...
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
msbettyboop said:
It's insane, right? I tried to reason with her that he could have slept on the couch in the living room or the other bedroom. They live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I asked her, do you snore like Godzilla or what???? But she RATIONALISED it. She explained it away.

This guy said goodnight to you at 11:30 after dinner and you went to bed while he took a shower. You woke up at 12:30 and he was gone and sent you a text message that he'll sleep outside. Nothing about why or WHERE!!! Lordddddddddddddddd........

I should leave it alone but it's painful to watch your friend being played. Aaarghhhhhhh.....
Click to expand...
CRAZINESS!!! :dizzy:

On one hand I feel bad for your friend, but on the other hand I just don't believe that someone can be this naive. :nono: What is this voodoo mojo mess that men put on women???? :confused:

She is clearly not thinking rationally with all of her thinking faculties. The only reason why I'm not going off on her is because I too have been in the situation before where I was so "crazy in love" that I let a guy do things to me that now I wonder what in HICKORY HILL was I thinking???? :whyme: :lol:
 
Topsido said:
:lachen:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I busted out laughing. I like the nasty man from afar for being ballsy. Lol, I've head some bs but this has to be up there.

Reminds me of my ex's brother in law. Went to work on Friday and didn't come home. The wife started calling and looking for him. He switched off his phone.

Called his job and they confirmed that he came to work and left as usual. On Saturday, my ex and his sister went and filed a missing person's report with the police.

The whole family and lots of friends were going all over looking for man, putting fliers and posters up.

Long story short, this fool came home Sunday night, talking about he fell asleep on the train for 3 days. They live at Elephant and Castle (UK ladies help me out here). It took the grace of God not to be planning a funeral that night.
Click to expand...

That is nonsense! If you fall asleep on the train, at the close of day, cleaners clean the train so they would have woken him up. I know for sure because it has happened to me before. Who the hell stays on a train for 2days undetected???
 
Topsido said:
:lachen:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I busted out laughing. I like the nasty man from afar for being ballsy. Lol, I've head some bs but this has to be up there.

Reminds me of my ex's brother in law. Went to work on Friday and didn't come home. The wife started calling and looking for him. He switched off his phone.

Called his job and they confirmed that he came to work and left as usual. On Saturday, my ex and his sister went and filed a missing person's report with the police.

The whole family and lots of friends were going all over looking for man, putting fliers and posters up.

Long story short, this fool came home Sunday night, talking about he fell asleep on the train for 3 days. They live at Elephant and Castle (UK ladies help me out here). It took the grace of God not to be planning a funeral that night.
Click to expand...

Gurrlllllll, you win! :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
CRAZINESS!!! :dizzy:

On one hand I feel bad for your friend, but on the other hand I just don't believe that someone can be this naive. :nono: What is this voodoo mojo mess that men put on women???? :confused:

She is clearly not thinking rationally with all of her thinking faculties. The only reason why I'm not going off on her is because I too have been in the situation before where I was so "crazy in love" that I let a guy do things to me that now I wonder what in HICKORY HILL was I thinking???? :whyme: :lol:
Click to expand...
Jedi mind tricks. I have been there too. The stuff we fall for because we are in love. Some times we ignore signs that we will pay for later on heartbreak.
 
claudzie said:
That is nonsense! If you fall asleep on the train, at the close of day, cleaners clean the train so they would have woken him up. I know for sure because it has happened to me before. Who the hell stays on a train for 2days undetected???
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but.... :lachen: :rofl: :lachen: :lol: :rofl: :lachen:



Country gal said:
Jedi mind tricks. I have been there too. The stuff we fall for because we are in love. Some times we ignore signs that we will pay for later on heartbreak.
Click to expand...
So true.... :nono: :nono:

OP if I were you and you've already mentioned to her that there is something "up" with him, I would just let it go, don't force your opinion on her...just let whatever is supposed to happen happen, and then when she's sobbing to you over drinks one night, you can just help dry her tears and pick her up.

See, the thing with situations like these is that you as the rational friend can already see that she's heading towards a train wreck. :nono: You try to give your friend good advice and tell her to open her eyes and dump this man, but she keeps going back to him. I've learned in the past that once I've said my "piece" (what I REALLY think about her dude), it's sometimes better to just leave it alone (even if she comes complaining to you), and until she is finally REALLY through with the guy and they've broken up, THEN you can support her to move on. But I find that I waste my breath (and even lose a friendship) when I keep trying to force them to see what's right in front of their eyes. :nono: Not only that, but I look like a dummy when they run back to their ex time and time again. :nono: I said no way..no more.. :nono2:

Once I've said my part, I can have peace of mind that I at least tried to warn her. If she chooses not to listen that's on her. But she's not going to make ME into an emotional wreck with her up and down rollercoaster..... :nono: I had to learn that the hard way... :ohwell:
 
Topsido said:
:lachen:
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I busted out laughing. I like the nasty man from afar for being ballsy. Lol, I've head some bs but this has to be up there.

Reminds me of my ex's brother in law. Went to work on Friday and didn't come home. The wife started calling and looking for him. He switched off his phone.

Called his job and they confirmed that he came to work and left as usual. On Saturday, my ex and his sister went and filed a missing person's report with the police.

The whole family and lots of friends were going all over looking for man, putting fliers and posters up.

Long story short, this fool came home Sunday night, talking about he fell asleep on the train for 3 days. They live at Elephant and Castle (UK ladies help me out here). It took the grace of God not to be planning a funeral that night.
Click to expand...


I thought that the London underground stopped running after a certain time at night. Did you ever find out where he really was?
 
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