Calling In The One And Femme Belles..........

[CurlyMoo]

You act like being half black is a disease or that he "picked" her out of the gutter. She's young and pretty and interesting and has a "glamourous" career. Harry is hardly the first of his kind to frolic with a celebrity. When he marries her and makes her a legitimate member of the royal family, then it'll be something to ooh and ahh over. In other words, when she becomes a "Kate". But, hey, if it makes you feel giddy to make her a magical unicorn at this point, so be it.

This doesn't address what you said but what you said made me think of something.
I have found that when you carry yourself a certain way and think of yourself a certain way; even a Royal will ask himself if is he good enough for YOU. Not that being a Royal is the end all, be all of the bee's knees. I get the feeling Prince Harry is very concerned about his circumstances ruining what he is developing with MM.

 

[CurlyMoo]

The fact that he PUBLICLY shut the racist press down is a huge signal...and there are now public photos of the together. I'm keeping my eye on them...this might end up being a Letizia of Spain/Mette Marit of Norway situation.

I agree I liked that he defended her in the press.
I won't say it's because he is deeply and emotionally involved because I don't know but I can see him being concerned because the press was way more aggressive with her and her family than they were with his other girlfriends. I can see him being concerned that this ended in the same kind of tragedy that ended his mother's life.

Since he released that statement they press seemed to back off.

What is that situation you mentioned?

 

[IronButterfly]

The fact that he PUBLICLY shut the racist press down is a huge signal...and there are now public photos of the together. I'm keeping my eye on them...this might end up being a Letizia of Spain/Mette Marit of Norway situation.

Harry shutting down the press, though commendable, is nothing spectacular. His generation is quite vocal about things like that. Who knows? Maybe this relationship will make Meghan a member of the royal family. But until then, she is just a girlfriend.[/QUOTE]

 

[IronButterfly]

This doesn't address what you said but what you said made me think of something.
I have found that when you carry yourself a certain way and think of yourself a certain way; even a Royal will ask himself if is he good enough for YOU. Not that being a Royal is the end all, be all of the bee's knees. I get the feeling Prince Harry is very concerned about his circumstances ruining what he is developing with MM.

What makes you think that? What has he done? Do you mean his "position" in the royal family? See, it's hard for me to get all giddy over this relationship at this point, because there is always that pressure, said or unsaid, from the royal family and the people regarding their image. I mean, Charles had a hard enough time with that "commoner" Diana...and she was young and white! What may seem acceptable in terms of dating can be challenged in terms of marriage. If Prince Harry can overcome those petty obstacles and put a ring on it and follow through with a ceremony, then, I too, will bow down to the magical powers of Meghan Markle. Just keep in mind, dating is not the same as wifing.

 

[almond eyes]

You act like being half black is a disease or that he "picked" her out of the gutter. She's young and pretty and interesting and has a "glamourous" career. Harry is hardly the first of his kind to frolic with a celebrity. When he marries her and makes her a legitimate member of the royal family, then it'll be something to ooh and ahh over. In other words, when she becomes a "Kate". But, hey, if it makes you feel giddy to make her a magical unicorn at this point, so be it.

When did I say anything about being half black as a disease or that he picked her out of the 'gutter' those are your words not mine. I mentioned she was half black because that is a fact. Perhaps I should have said she was mixed race. It's like I said this but you are hearing that.

Again, if it is occurring to you that I am making her out to be a magical unicorn that's the choice you are making to see it that way. I never said she was a magical unicorn. The purpose of my post is about how when you have a big dream for yourself you can attract big things.

All of my friends and cousins in the U.K. are all like wow, the Prince doing this says a lot regardless of the outcome especially with his releasing that press statement.

My intent is to turn this into a positive thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I agree I liked that he defended her in the press.
I won't say it's because he is deeply and emotionally involved because I don't know but I can see him being concerned because the press was way more aggressive with her and her family than they were with his other girlfriends. I can see him being concerned that this ended in the same kind of tragedy that ended his mother's life.

Since he released that statement they press seemed to back off.

What is that situation you mentioned?

Both Letizia and Mette Marit were also deemed "unsuitable" because Letizia was divorced and MM had a child out of wedlock. Both married heirs of royal families. Letizia is now Queen of Spain.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Both Letizia and Mette Marit were also deemed "unsuitable" because Letizia was divorced and MM had a child out of wedlock. Both married heirs of royal families. Letizia is now Queen of Spain.

Oh My. Times have changed.

 

[IronButterfly]

When did I say anything about being half black as a disease or that he picked her out of the 'gutter' those are your words not mine. I mentioned she was half black because that is a fact. Perhaps I should have said she was mixed race. It's like I said this but you are hearing that.

Again, if it is occurring to you that I am making her out to be a magical unicorn that's the choice you are making to see it that way. I never said she was a magical unicorn. The purpose of my post is about how when you have a big dream for yourself you can attract big things.

All of my friends and cousins in the U.K. are all like wow, the Prince doing this says a lot regardless of the outcome especially with his releasing that press statement.

My intent is to turn this into a positive thread.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Ok.

 

[CurlyMoo]

What makes you think that? What has he done? Do you mean his "position" in the royal family? See, it's hard for me to get all giddy over this relationship at this point, because there is always that pressure, said or unsaid, from the royal family and the people regarding their image. I mean, Charles had a hard enough time with that "commoner" Diana...and she was young and white! What may seem acceptable in terms of dating can be challenged in terms of marriage. If Prince Harry can overcome those petty obstacles and put a ring on it and follow through with a ceremony, then, I too, will bow down to the magical powers of Meghan Markle. Just keep in mind, dating is not the same as wifing.

We know the difference between wifing and dating. We don't care. We like the potential and implications of it all. They do it all the time with royal girlfriends. Why should this be the exception?

He told the press to back off. Which is "unpresidented" (Donald Trump spelling) Tee hee.
Yes it is very early. Have they even made the first 3 months yet? Maybe it's 7 months now.
That's more than enough time to know how you feel and if it's serious enough for marriage.
I am very curious but I haven't seen enough of them together to see real chemistry and potential.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hi ladies,

I so want to discuss this Meghan Markle and Prince Harry relationship. She clearly worked on herself inside and out to attract the Prince. Meaning she had to remove the obstacles in her mind and now allow her confidence to dwindle.

I am so happy for her.

I am sure if she had told anyone two years ago that Harry would be courting her they would have told her she could never have a chance.

Just like Kate, people were not checking on Kate for William, yet in the end she broke through as a someone from a completely different class.

Also just like Ciara anything can happen in the area of romance even when it seems like there is no way. Even Meghan Goode was told no way for her husband.

CaribbeanDiva and CrystaliceQueen123 thoughts.

Let's get inspirational for 2017!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes

Thanks @almond eyes for directing me to this thread!


Wow.... Interesting discussion. There are so many thoughts swirling (no pun intended lol) in my head right now, I don't know where to begin!


First of all, I will admit that I don't really know too much about Ms. Markle, so I am not really in a position to say too much about her. But based on the few things I've read about her in this thread already, she seems like a delightful young woman.

I'm happy to find that she seems intelligent, well-spoken, well-read, insightful, genuinely happy with herself, goal-oriented, and dedicated to public service and humanitarian efforts. I'm impressed! I can see why Harry is smitten by her.

You really are what you attract. A lot of women want a man who is a great catch. Who doesn't? Why should that man go for you though? Are you a great catch yourself? Would YOU wanna marry YOU? This is where internal work comes in. It's also why I love books like: "Boundaries, Calling in the one, Men don't love women like you, and Madly in love with me". Those books are a great start if you're new to working on yourself. I'm always recommending books because you grow the most from applying what you're reading.

SO very true. I will also add the reverse.... You attract what you really are...

I will even add that a lot of women tend to attract, not necessarily what they are, but what they FEEL they deserve in life. That's why you see some women get frustrated because they have all of this education, money, good paying jobs, the fancy car/condo, etc.... But yet, they find that they always attract deadbeats/hoodrats and not guys on their level, or they settle for guys who aren't on their level at all. You see it happen all the time in Hollywood. You start to wonder: "why is such a wonderful accomplished woman with a man like that?" But then that goes back to what does the woman deep down internally believe she deserves?

THAT in itself makes all the difference in the world.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

This doesn't address what you said but what you said made me think of something.
I have found that when you carry yourself a certain way and think of yourself a certain way; even a Royal will ask himself if is he good enough for YOU. Not that being a Royal is the end all, be all of the bee's knees. I get the feeling Prince Harry is very concerned about his circumstances ruining what he is developing with MM.

^^EXACTLY.

I also feel that how you truly believe yourself to be, is how others will see you as well. So watch what you tell yourself and how you carry yourself. People usually adopt the feelings you have about yourself.

This is why I also keep in mind a popular quote that has been credited as being a quote from former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

SO true.



I think that ANY woman can attract the type of man she so desires. I know for me personally, I've definitely stepped up my game for the past few months, and I do see a subtle change, not only in how I view myself, but also how others view me. I also don't give much attention to "haters" or "naysayers" anymore. I don't allow them to occupy too much head space in my head.

I truly do feel that any woman can become a "Ms. Markle" or "Princess Kate" in society with a little effort.


I don't know if Harry will indeed propose to Meghan (that's not really my point), but one thing I do know is that when men marry, they usually marry the woman that is "different" from all the others they've seen/dated in the past. I also know that they usually (though not always) end up marrying a woman who is intelligent (or at least capable), passionate about her own life and interests, and has more going for her than just a "pretty face".

Look at George Clooney.... He was a self-proclaimed bachelor for YEARS. Used to date tons of models and actresses. Nobody thought he would ever get married. Then look.... He ended up marrying a woman with class, grace, intelligence, etc. She's not even the prettiest woman he dated, but there was something special/mysterious/alluring/different about Amal he just had to get to know. That's why I feel that men don't marry the woman who is "perfect", they marry the woman who is different or interesting. Hence what the "Spartan book" preaches.

I sense Harry has also met his match in Meghan. The fact that he publicly told the press to "cool it" speaks VOLUMES to me. When a man wants to PROTECT you, PROVIDE for you, and/or PROFESS their feelings openly for you, that means a man is serious and views you as different from all the others he's dated. Those who have read TQC know what I'm talking about. I'm not calling for an engagement or anything, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did eventually pop the question. If she plays her cards right, she could possibly be going down that road with him.

Personally for me, I have no stock in this relationship. I'm just happy to see Harry happy and FINALLY dating a woman who seems worthwhile and full of depth and intelligence. The other girls he was dating or rumored to be dating seemed to be (no offense) just "play things" imo. This girl (Ms. Markle) seems to be more real, down to earth, and the "game changer" for him. This is just based on what I've read/seen him do with her compared to the others he's been "attached" to in the past.

Imo, Ms. Markle is definitely a catch, and Harry is fortunate to be dating her. She's also probably a little more mature than most women he's dated.

 

[LaFaraona]

You really are what you attract. A lot of women want a man who is a great catch. Who doesn't? Why should that man go for you though? Are you a great catch yourself? Would YOU wanna marry YOU? This is where internal work comes in. It's also why I love books like: "Boundaries, Calling in the one, Men don't love women like you, and Madly in love with me". Those books are a great start if you're new to working on yourself. I'm always recommending books because you grow the most from applying what you're reading.

Let's face it. Most of us grew up in dysfunctional homes. Children repeat what they see modeled. If you were abused growing up, you'll end up in abusive relationships because it's familiar to you. If there were addictions of any kind, same thing. You'll attract these unhealthy people who always "need" your help. You'll think it's great because you feel needed and wanted. You want to rescue them from themselves. Then you'll find peace and happiness right? Wrong. Those people are just using you. As soon as you get a backbone and stand up for yourself, they'll drop you like a hot potato. I had to figure all that out for myself. Even though other people told me that's what was happening I wasn't ready to see it. I'm glad I came to my senses though. I'm so grateful for that experience because I discovered therapy and support groups because of it.

Ignoring people's bulls*it and focusing on your self is the best decision you'll ever make. They're quick to put you down because your striving for excellence exposes their mediocrity! Be very selective who you share your goals and moves you're making with. Sometimes it's the ones closest to you who sabotage you. You should take it as a compliment when you have haters. It means you're doing something right. Don't let it stop you. Otherwise you'll be busted just like them. Keep doing you. When people say that there's something special, different about you, it's because they're sensing that you know who you are, where you're going, and you won't put up with anybody's crap. Either get in line or get out of my way. The only approval you need is your own. That, my friends, is true freedom.

I've read a few more of Meghan Markle's blog posts and I feel like we are kindred spirits. I can see why Harry fell for her.

This. I already had a soft spot for her from Suits. But I really like her from her blog. She is cool people to me.
I am loving this discussion very much.
I totally agree on the part of seeking and getting help to get out of patterns and beliefs that you many not even know you have.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Interesting.

 

[caribeandiva]

SO very true. I will also add the reverse.... You attract what you really are...

Amen

 

[caribeandiva]

You act like being half black is a disease or that he "picked" her out of the gutter. She's young and pretty and interesting and has a "glamourous" career. Harry is hardly the first of his kind to frolic with a celebrity. When he marries her and makes her a legitimate member of the royal family, then it'll be something to ooh and ahh over. In other words, when she becomes a "Kate". But, hey, if it makes you feel giddy to make her a magical unicorn at this point, so be it.

Speaking of Kate, what do you think it was about her that made William want to marry her?

 

[IronButterfly]

Speaking of Kate, what do you think it was about her that made William want to marry her?

I don't really keep up with those folks, so beats me! What is it about any woman that makes a man want to marry her? Is there really one thing? I don't believe all wives are the same, so I think each man has something specific he may be looking for.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Speaking of Kate, what do you think it was about her that made William want to marry her?

Well, I can't speak for what William was looking for exactly cuz I don't know him and don't really follow the Royal family all that closely....

But what I DO know about Kate is that her "snagging" of Prince William seemed a little more....how shall I say...strategic then most people realize.

She knew he was going to be going to her university so she made sure she introduced herself. While other girls were fawning all over him and treating him like a celebrity, she treated him like a normal guy and never gushed about him....at least not in HIS presence lol. She found a way to be in his "circle" of friends (this is KEY). She eventually stepped up her game, changed the way she dressed, lost weight etc. She befriended Wills (as he's so affectionately called by most everyone who's close to him) and made him trust her. She wore that dress.....


So..... while he may have been always looking in her direction (which I kind of doubt), make no mistake....homegirl pulled some very strategic moves and eventually got what she wanted. I don't think they would have ended up together had she not done some of the stuff she did.

Granted, some feel she waited waaaay too long, and should have given him the boot long time ago. But hey.... She ended up with him so....

Idk...

 

[Flourishnikov]

Great thread!! May I suggest a thread title change to include Megan? I know the thread isn't about her per se but everyone is looking for/trying to attract their "Prince Charming" and this thread is practically outlining how she was able to do it from within. Lots of gems in here that the ladies in the "attract a rich man" thread could use, too.

ETA: I will say there are a lot of "advanced" ideas ideologies being shared here that may seem extremely foreign if you haven't read the referenced materials or aren't familiar with the "outer reflects the inner", so I can understand the title remaining as is. Im enjoying the discourse though, conflicting opinions and all.

 

[caribeandiva]

Well, I can't speak for what William was looking for exactly cuz I don't know him and don't really follow the Royal family all that closely....

But what I DO know about Kate is that her "snagging" of Prince William seemed a little more....how shall I say...strategic then most people realize.

She knew he was going to be going to her university so she made sure she introduced herself. While other girls were fawning all over him and treating him like a celebrity, she treated him like a normal guy and never gushed about him....at least not in HIS presence lol. She found a way to be in his "circle" of friends (this is KEY). She eventually stepped up her game, changed the way she dressed, lost weight etc. She befriended Wills (as he's so affectionately called by most everyone who's close to him) and made him trust her. She wore that dress.....


So..... while he may have been always looking in her direction (which I kind of doubt), make no mistake....homegirl pulled some very strategic moves and eventually got what she wanted. I don't think they would have ended up together had she not done some of the stuff she did.

Granted, some feel she waited waaaay too long, and should have given him the boot long time ago. But hey.... She ended up with him so....

Idk...

I had no idea she put in that much work! Also remember that when they broke up she did NOT sit at home miserably waiting for him. She kept living her life, got even hotter and was going out with her friends most of the time (knowing dang well the tabloids were watching her every move so William was sure to see it ). I have a newfound respect for her.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I had no idea she put in that much work! Also remember that when they broke up she did NOT sit at home miserably waiting for him. She kept living her life, got even hotter and was going out with her friends most of the time (knowing dang well the tabloids were watching her every move so William was sure to see it ). I have a newfound respect for her.

YUP!!! You hit the nail on the head lol!

Kate knew what she was doing. She used the paparrazzi to her advantage. I'm not mad at her. Homegirl knew how to be strategic.

I don't even really consider what she did "work" per se.... To me she just made sure to put herself in his line of vision and then allowed him do the work. To me, putting in work is trying to pursue/chase/force a guy who's only lukewarm about you to be into you. But what she did was more like, hey....here I am.... We're just friends.... But I'm going to keep close and put myself in your line of sight just in case you want to be more than just friends later on down the line.

She didn't strike me as one to be stuck at home crying her eyes out over William, and I think he sensed this.

Even one friend made a statement to her once saying something to the effect of how lucky she is to be with him and I LOVED her response back. She said:

Except that, when a friend at St. Andrews told her how lucky she was to be going out with Prince William, a smiling Kate replied: “He’s lucky to be going out with me.”

Source

 

[almond eyes]

Thanks @almond eyes for directing me to this thread!


Wow.... Interesting discussion. There are so many thoughts swirling (no pun intended lol) in my head right now, I don't know where to begin!


First of all, I will admit that I don't really know too much about Ms. Markle, so I am not really in a position to say too much about her. But based on the few things I've read about her in this thread already, she seems like a delightful young woman.

I'm happy to find that she seems intelligent, well-spoken, well-read, insightful, genuinely happy with herself, goal-oriented, and dedicated to public service and humanitarian efforts. I'm impressed! I can see why Harry is smitten by her.




SO very true. I will also add the reverse.... You attract what you really are...

I will even add that a lot of women tend to attract, not necessarily what they are, but what they FEEL they deserve in life. That's why you see some women get frustrated because they have all of this education, money, good paying jobs, the fancy car/condo, etc.... But yet, they find that they always attract deadbeats/hoodrats and not guys on their level, or they settle for guys who aren't on their level at all. You see it happen all the time in Hollywood. You start to wonder: "why is such a wonderful accomplished woman with a man like that?" But then that goes back to what does the woman deep down internally believe she deserves?

THAT in itself makes all the difference in the world.

Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[almond eyes]

For sure, the purpose of this thread is just to say that 2017 is coming up and we can truly have the men we desire if we are willing to dream big. I am also personally stepping up my own game. I would say 2016, was a learning time for me. Met lots of interesting men, however have been focusing on my creating my new career.

Like I said it's not about Meghan and the Prince. I have no stake in their relationship though I think it has potential.

There are so many examples of women in my own life who got the man they exactly wanted.

So, I want to encourage all of us to go for it big in 2017 and support one another against limiting beliefs that we may hold or others may hold for us. Sky is no limit. If you do the work within yourself and put yourself out there, it will happen. And you can find your own prince charming.

You really have the power to create who comes into your life and who you let into your life and how you project yourself to the world.


Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[almond eyes]

Great thread!! May I suggest a thread title change to include Megan? I know the thread isn't about her per se but everyone is looking for/trying to attract their "Prince Charming" and this thread is practically outlining how she was able to do it from within. Lots of gems in here that the ladies in the "attract a rich man" thread could use, too.

ETA: I will say there are a lot of "advanced" ideas ideologies being shared here that may seem extremely foreign if you haven't read the referenced materials or aren't familiar with the "outer reflects the inner", so I can understand the title remaining as is. Im enjoying the discourse though, conflicting opinions and all.

Yes, let's do that!!!!!!!!!!!

Can we start a new thread with this topic. We can discuss books, coaching, therapy, looking our best. Coaching/Advising each other on dating. And also how to stop the limiting beliefs and the negative patterns.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[almond eyes]

Speaking of Kate, what do you think it was about her that made William want to marry her?

I think Kate from the start was very smart, she knew William was a keeper. Her mother was also very instrumental in helping Kate marry well. They were from the upper middle class crowd, however not royalty.

In life you have to have a plan in all areas of your life and of course exercise flexibility. Many people when they hear of plan, they create that a plan means devious. When a plan is just to others smart and to not go flying in blind.

Kate and her mother planned. I think Kate did some internal work on herself. People do these things and they don't talk about it, you just see the presentation. She could have had a coach, etiquette teacher, an image consultant.

You know CaribeanDiva from the Allison Armstrong books, how she snagged her guy. Kate zeroed in on the fact that William really wanted to marry someone who was like his mother a kind heart however was also strong. He also wanted to marry someone who was family oriented and close to their family. Kate presented this from the start. A friend of mine told me that he wasn't attracted to his wife physically, however he married her because she came from a close tight knit family and her father was a great person who always offered great advise.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

There are so many examples of women in my own life who got the man they exactly wanted.

So, I want to encourage all of us to go for it big in 2017 and support one another against limiting beliefs that we may hold or others may hold for us. Sky is no limit. If you do the work within yourself and put yourself out there, it will happen. And you can find your own prince charming.

You really have the power to create who comes into your life and who you let into your life and how you project yourself to the world.


Best,
Almond Eyes

^^THIS right here!!!

I want black women to stop encouraging limiting beliefs against EACH OTHER. I think we sometimes can be our own worst enemies when it comes to this. How many times have you told your family members or close friends some of your hopes and dreams and it is met with scoffing, or "girl, you know you can't afford/snag/manage/attract that!"

I think we need to help boost each OTHER up for a change. Start telling ourselves and our little girls that "yes we can".

A good education, financially-stable lifestlye is NOT just for the elite 1%.

A good, stable, happy, in-tact, marriage and family life is NOT just available for women of other races/cultures.

Finding a "good man" isn't an anomaly if you're a black woman.

We need to get rid of these limiting beliefs as bw.

Go where you are loved, supported, and treated well. Don't settle.

A friend of mine told me that he wasn't attracted to his wife physically, however he married her because she came from a close tight knit family and her father was a great person who always offered great advise.

Best,
Almond Eyes

Wow...... Wonder how his wife feels about that lol....

I think I would want my husband to have been initially attracted to me (even if I wasn't his typical "type"), but I see what you're saying.

I didn't even know that attraction could "grow" on men. I thought with men it was pretty much either they are attracted to you, or they're not. I think a man's attraction can GROW once he gets to know you, but I never realized they could go from "zero to sixty"

 

[almond eyes]

^^THIS right here!!!

I want black women to stop encouraging limiting beliefs against EACH OTHER. I think we sometimes can be our own worst enemies when it comes to this. How many times have you told your family members or close friends some of your hopes and dreams and it is met with scoffing, or "girl, you know you can't afford/snag/manage/attract that!"

I think we need to help boost each OTHER up for a change. Start telling ourselves and our little girls that "yes we can".

A good education, financially-stable lifestlye is NOT just for the elite 1%.

A good, stable, happy, in-tact, marriage and family life is NOT just available for women of other races/cultures.

Finding a "good man" isn't an anomaly if you're a black woman.

We need to get rid of these limiting beliefs as bw.

Go where you are loved, supported, and treated well. Don't settle.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes



Wow...... Wonder how his wife feels about that lol....

I think I would want my husband to have been initially attracted to me (even if I wasn't his typical "type"), but I see what you're saying.

I didn't even know that attraction could "grow" on men. I thought with men it was pretty much either they are attracted to you, or they're not. I think a man's attraction can GROW once he gets to know you, but I never realized they could go from "zero to sixty"

I know what you mean. My cousin also told me he too married a woman that there was zero chemistry and she was physically not his type. However, he said her personality and being a woman of strong faith really bowled him over. In the end he said those were things he felt a good wife would make and he would close his eyes to the other parts. Now of course he has grown to really love her.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[SpiritJunkie]

Alison Armstrong would be proud of you ladies. Reach One.... Teach One.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Alison Armstrong would be proud of you ladies. Reach One.... Teach One.

Thank you!!

You know, I never realized just how much we as women tend to bash men or have a negative view of them until I read TQC, and now listen to my good girl friends. It's like, "wow....I used to sound just like them...full of so much hate, resentment, bitterness and cynicism when it comes to men"

It's so clearly obvious now. Idk about anyone else. Now when I listen to them I see just how much I've changed, because I no longer think the same way they do anymore.

Then I think to myself.... "Hmm...well no WONDER you ladies are single.... Men are probably subconsciously picking up on your negative views about them..". : look:

Don't get me wrong, I still have some work to do, but I can see how I've come a looong way. Men used to be "the enemy", and now they are more the "partners". I feel like I understand men SO much better now. I feel much happier too

 

[SpiritJunkie]

@Crystalicequeen123 yup..Exactly...they have feelings too. We have to be aware of our words and be clear and what we want. And most importantly, work and love ourselves. Whatever new thread y'all start to discuss further...I'm in there.

 

[almond eyes]

@Crystalicequeen123 yup..Exactly...they have feelings too. We have to be aware of our words and be clear and what we want. And most importantly, work and love ourselves. Whatever new thread y'all start to discuss further...I'm in there.

I agree with your sentiments, co signing on your thoughts.

I believe that many of us me included go wrong when we aren't clear with others and also not asking for clarification when we don't understand someone's communication or actions. In the past, when a guy flirted with me on several occasions and I wasn't sure if he had a girlfriend or not, I should have had the guts to be upfront from the start and say, "Hey do you have a girlfriend?" Instead of being in denial and continue to play a fantasy game. If you feel something isn't right or a certain man isn't approaching you, have the guts to ask in a way that leaves the door open and will allow him to tell you the truth. I find that men in the early stages of meeting a woman or flirting with her can be the most honest because they have nothing to lose nothing is really at stake and this is when you have to go for that truth serum and ask and also tell them about yourself quickly without going over board.

With many people, the issues lie in communication and how you choose to interpret a situation. I am learning that when I speak to a man unless the man is married or a complete hot mess, always leave the door open in my communication. Once you say something harsh or rude, you close the door.

Best,
Almond Eyes