Black People have the Worst Kind of Hair...

[danysedai]

"Dominicans have 'black blood' (to varying degrees). I acknowledge this. They do as well. But they ain't black. Just as PR's, Brazillians and Cubans, etc...ain't black."

Hi Phoenixx
I'm Cuban, and I'm black, and something else, the taino blood in Cuba is not as present as in Puerto Rico and Dominicana(a very small island, a few aboriginals that were almost exterminated by the Spaniards, today in Cuba you'd have to go to Guantanamo, the most eastern province and see people with "some" amerindian features).
I agree with most of what you said, but my ancestors were slaves, same as a slave in the US, some white spaniard blood in the mix that makes me a bit light skinned, but I'm black, my dad was black, mom is black, sisters are black.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

It's been said before, but I'm going to say it again: Some people are just too ignorant for words . They are so brainwashed by what they hear other racists say about people and the images that they see on the television that they can't even decide for themselves what is beautiful and what is not. The funny thing is that she finds black people attractive enough to date but not attractive enough to marry and breed with. I know she's your mother-in-law and everything, but you aren't marrying HER. Your only obligation is to her son, and my philosophy is that if a person is nothing but negative and disrespectful to me, then they don't have any place in my life. Life is far too short to waste time being unhappy because someone else doesn't think that your good enough. As long as you and your man think you're good enough, then that's all that matters .

ITA! I'm not even stressing that woman! I barely see her anyway, I was just trying to make an effort, but I'm done.

When I met my SO, he hadn't spoken to his mother in years, they started speaking b/c of me. Now he's ready to burn all bridges again. b/c she just won't quit.

She left a message on his answering machine trying to justify her behavior...She's just disgusting

How did you two even meet? Is he going to cut her off?

His cousin and I went to High School together. She invited me to her sweet sixteen...Girl meets boy (boy is fine!!!), they go on a few dates but didn't really mesh well (we argued too much), after seeing one another at various parties, we decided to be friends (with some benefits )...a year later, we decide to be exclusive.

At the time, he and his mother weren't cool b/c of the way she treated his little brother (I didn't know she was mean to him b/c she was always on her best behavior the few times I did get to meet her). He avoided her for the most part, but when he wanted to see his little brother he would have to interact with her.

I don't want him to stop speaking to his mother, but I sure as hell will have nothing to do with her. He's angry right now, but I don't think he will completely shut her out. She won't be around my kids or at my wedding...etc, but that doesn't mean he can't spend time with her....He does hold grudges though, so IDK

Im angry just reading this but I do realize your future MIL isn't the only one who thinks like that...You handled yourself well OP, Im impressed and surprised lol; but she was extremely rude, nasty & all out disrespectful and I would have had to check her even if that was my SO's mama because she shouldn't feel that she can always treat you any way and talk to you any way. I wouldn't curse her out out of respect for my SO but still I would've had to speak my mind that day. That's too much.

[LOL Im laughing now because I know if it were me in your shoes and I went to my mama and told her that story, the first thing out her mouth would be " What? And what did you say?" ]

When I told my mother what happened, the first thing she said was...Where does she live? What's her number?? She is pissed that I didn't tell her off.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

With regards to the original topic, I would have got in that ass. She is in line for an ass beating, dumb *****.

I know that's right!

 

[d-rock]

OKAY...i was staring like

completely o/t but nazarite27... why is your son soooooo friggin HANDSOME (sexy)!

I don't think his hating mother is any reason to leave the man... he clearly has a different pov on things.

I know right! Them two handsome dudes just make you wonder...how can you not like blacks? i mean seesh...look how good we look...

Ok so, I'm glad I wasn't the only one staring. I was scrolling down and paused, like "who is that?" Very handsome.

 

[d-rock]

Wow! I just finished reading this entire thread and I am so sorry this happpened. I am sorry for you LadyKapypnyc, but also to that poor 4 year old girl. If exposed to this toxic woman, she will grow up with complexes about her hair and looks, and that is unacceptable...

I'm worried about the future of your relationship with your now fiancee (congrats by the way). This woman's dislike of you just because of the shade of your skin or the texture of your hair will not go away and will translate to her treatment of your children. My fear is that her poison will creat problems in your relationship. In this particular situation, you showed restraint and fortitude, but you will not always be so calm, and things might escalte and get ugly. So good luck to you...

On another note, the Domincan mentality is an unfortunate one. There is a saying that every Domincan has "black behind the ears", no matter how white they are. Basically, it translates to every Domincan person has black blood in them or is related to someone who is black. Ironically, there is a mentality that the lighter skinned you are, the better you are. Period. I know not everyone feels that way, but many people do. This goes back to the War of Independence and a whole lot of historic stuff, but unfortunately, they've never managed to move on from that. The sad thing is that the majority of the Domincan population is NOT white, yet they won't accept their reality...

So again, I'm so sorry this happened to you and I do wish you and your fiancee the best. Good luck with this and I hope that child won't be scarred for life from her aunt's ignorance.

None of them are "white." Like I said on like the second page, a fraction of every Dominicans' ancestry is non-white (be it from the Natives that were there first, Africans, or an Asian influence, including the real Indians), they're all muts just like the dark skinned people living on the mainland. What's sad is the fact that they've adopted this disdain for pigment and made it a part of their culture. This kind of self-hate was introduced by the whites and for some reason Dominicans and non-white Americans continue to perpetuate such foolishness.

 

[PeggyFair]

I hope this craziness didnt come from her father.

I'm thinking that it probably did. If you have a father that looks like a *Steve Harvey*, and he has a daughter that looks White, which means the mother was probably lighter or white, and the daughter acts the way that this woman acts, then he probably passed down his own color complex to her.

 

[PeggyFair]

it just sucks to see us... as... hm whats the word... 'ethnic' women.. women of colour putting each other down because of the colour of our skin... when .. IMO women of colour (meaning tanned latinas.. east asians.. south asians.. africans) are the most beautiful women in the world (note: in my opinion lol).. we hate ourselves and try to look "whiter" or more european while european women are are injecting collagen in their lips... silicone in their butts and breasts... toasting under tanning booths to look more like US. It krayyy-zeee!!!

*Ethnic women* have NEVER been united so it is not shocking to see one *ethnic* woman putting down another(in this case a Black American). As a matter of fact, they give White supremacists a run for their money when it comes to discriminating against Blacks...

 

[girlyprincess23]

What really amazes me about people that comment on "Black Hair" Is the fact that "Black People" aren't the only ones with kinky hair. You can go to any race and find someone with "nappy" hair.

And you know what I always say to people that dislike anything about OUR Culture is if you hate black people you hate yourself, cause at one point we were all "Black".

And the best things on earth came from Color,

imma go head and second, third, and fourth ALL of that!!!!

 

[girlyprincess23]

Indeed - they were most likely over the moon at having a light/bright/damnearwhite woman on their arm, the fact that she HATED their skin faded into the haze of their own color issues.

im trying to tell you...i listen to some of this rap music...(rarely mind you but sometimes it slips in there) and all you hear is redbone...redbone....redbone....like wow many AA men/ women have issues they don't even know about!!!! i'm like wow do they see all the beautiful shades we come in and the gorgeousness of all the tones..i'm like GEEZ slavery sure did a number!!! i'm so glad my eyes are open I think almost everyone is beautiful (there are some i'd have to leave out b/c i just don't find them attractive I won't say who) but it's just like woe people are confused..they have it BACKWARDS and that's all imma say!!

 

[d-rock]

*Ethnic women* have NEVER been united so it is not shocking to see one *ethnic* woman putting down another(in this case a Black American). As a matter of fact, they give White supremacists a run for their money when it comes to discriminating against Blacks...

That's so not true. There was definitely a time when unity was our priority, not materialism and conformity, but those days are gone. Self-hate was a seed planted during slavery, look how it's blossomed into such an ugly weed.

 

[aloof one]

im sorry you had to go through this

OT: OMG your style in your siggy is cute! I think you're doing a wonderful job!

 

[PeggyFair]

That's so not true. There was definitely a time when unity out weighted materialism and conformity, but those days are gone.

There was never a time when *women of color* or *people of color* were united. There has ALWAYS been animosity among the groups. This is what I was saying in response to Bri's post.

 

[d-rock]

What really amazes me about people that comment on "Black Hair" Is the fact that "Black People" aren't the only ones with kinky hair. You can go to any race and find someone with "nappy" hair.

I was thinking about this last night! Especially when I think about the Jewish people I know. They have seriously curly, "kinky" hair. I knew an Irish/Italian girl with hair like mine and I was amazed that she went through the same frustrations with her hair that most of us go through.

 

[Ganjababy]

The saddest thing about this is the influence her hateful words will have on the little girls subconscious. I have experienced similiar behaviour from my in-laws and they are Jamaicans AND black. My husbands family are light skinned except for my husband and one of his sisters and they are treated differently by most of the family because of this. They are extremely proud that they are descended from Scottish stock and denies any African blood (they are light, not white). One of his sister commented that her niece (the dark sisters child) was so ugly because she is so black. When my husband was a child his other siblings would tell him that he was so black because their mother had an affair with a black man and he was a bastard (what they call 'jacket'). I am dark skinned and had to endure their ignorant comments many times (I dont see them as often now). It was once suggested that I bleach my skin and wear a wig or hair extension and I would not look so bad after all. My parents are from Jamaica and I was brought up around Jamaicans and never saw this kind of behaviour until I met my in-laws. As a child my parents always thought me to love my blackness and afro hair, so this attitude was a shock. I have never experienced such racism as I did from some of my in-laws. I would often get upset but my husband thought I was too sensitive, but I was not used to such behaviour. He was used to it so he has become immune to it and ignores it. I have tried to talk to them about it but it then turns into a big brouhaha and I am accused of causing strife in their family. They are very ignorant and can't help themselves. We don't have kids, if we did there is no way I would leave my kids alone with them. The good thing for you LadyKaypnyc is that your partner backs you 100%

Ok, so I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 8 years. When we initially started dating, his Dominican family didn't like me, but I just chalked it up to them not wanting him to get too serious too fast (which was completely understandable).

It never occurred to me that they (well, not his whole family, just his mother and his little brother) are SERIOUSLY RACIST. His mother dates Black men, but she refused to marry them or have Kids with any of them becasue she doesn't want a child with (and I quote) NASTY KINKY BAD HAIR

I didn't used to hang around his family often because they can be very obvious in their dislike of me, but since he proposed, I felt like I needed to mend bridges, so in the past year, I started attending family functions...etc.

Well, last night, his uncle (who IS married to a Black woman) begged me to do his Daughter's hair b/c his wife is out of town. So I get there, and my SO's mother was geared and ready to put a re.laxer in that poor (4 year old's) beautiful hair. Not only was she combing her DRY HAIR but she was using a fine toothed comb. There were globs and globs of hair on the floor.

After I managed to get the re.laxer out of her reach and Luis (his uncle) tells her to let me take over, she gets pissed and starts screaming about how a Re.laxer is the only way to tame BAD HAIR and how she wishes her brother wouldn't have married a Black woman becasue we have the WORST HAIR in the world.

Then she tells me that I should be embarrassed to walk around with my Kinky hair b/c it looks and feels disgusting. According to her, Dark Skin Black people are the worst kind of people, and she cries just thinking about how Black her grandbaby's are going to be. Then she trys to convince my SO that he should find a Dominican girl to date, becase Black children are ugly (as she says this, she points at her 4 year old neice) ...That's when Luis gets into it with her...

Out of respect for my SO, I didn't say anything. I let him handle his mother, but I've been wanting to tell that ***** off for years!! I just let her go on her rant, while I braided his cousin's hair.

But my BLOOD WAS BOILING!!! Steam was coming out of my ears ya'll!
I don't know how I managed to stay calm, but if I ever have to be around that woman again...I don't know what I will say or do.

Anyway, I just needed to vent.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I'm thinking that it probably did. If you have a father that looks like a *Steve Harvey*, and he has a daughter that looks White, which means the mother was probably lighter or white, and the daughter acts the way that this woman acts, then he probably passed down his own color complex to her.

I think she got it from her Grandmother, her parents are so sweet, they have always been kind to me...genuinely kind. She did spend a lot of time with her maternal grandmother (who didn't want her daughter marrying a Dark skinned dominican).

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Your in laws are horrible! They really should be ashamed of themselves, I'm glad you don't have to see those fools often You need that LHCF Bail money more than me

The saddest thing about this is the influence her hateful words will have on the little girls subconscious. I have experienced similiar behaviour from my in-laws and they are Jamaicans AND black. My husbands family are light skinned except for my husband and one of his sisters and they are treated differently by most of the family because of this. They are extremely proud that they are descended from Scottish stock and denies any African blood (they are light, not white). One of his sister commented that her niece (the dark sisters child) was so ugly because she is so black. When my husband was a child his other siblings would tell him that he was so black because their mother had an affair with a black man and he was a bastard (what they call 'jacket'). I am dark skinned and had to endure their ignorant comments many times (I dont see them as often now). It was once suggested that I bleach my skin and wear a wig or hair extension and I would not look so bad after all. My parents are from Jamaica and I was brought up around Jamaicans and never saw this kind of behaviour until I met my in-laws. As a child my parents always thought me to love my blackness and afro hair, so this attitude was a shock. I have never experienced such racism as I did from some of my in-laws. I would often get upset but my husband thought I was too sensitive, but I was not used to such behaviour. He was used to it so he has become immune to it and ignores it. I have tried to talk to them about it but it then turns into a big brouhaha and I am accused of causing strife in their family. They are very ignorant and can't help themselves. We don't have kids, if we did there is no way I would leave my kids alone with them. The good thing for you LadyKaypnyc is that your partner backs you 100%

 

[Mis007]

WOW!!!

 

[Spongie Bloom]

that is a terrible situation to be in OP i do hope you wont live near your soon to be MIL when you get married cause remeber when you marry a man you marry his family as well whether we like it or not, GOOD LUCK!!

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I was thinking about this last night! Especially when I think about the Jewish people I know. They have seriously curly, "kinky" hair. I knew an Irish/Italian girl with hair like mine and I was amazed that she went through the same frustrations with her hair that most of us go through.

a white British girl i knw who was in my class has VERY kinky hair it is mousy in colour and it is basically a fro it takes her ages to comb and tame it probably wouldnt take her as long if she did her hair like we did but using a 'white girls' brush it takes her ages and it is hella frizzy

 

[CurlyMoo]

Domini's, Ricans and South East Asians (also known as Negritos) are some of the most delusional ignorant people on the face of the earth! These people are apart of the African diaspora and therefore BLACK!

Black denial

 

[caligirl]

wait, don't Dominicans have some African ancestry?

 

[The Princess]

How is the 4year old hair? It can't be that bad, the hair is still soft. Im trying to understand why she is putting a relaxer in the hair. Did she try to put some conditioner or some moisturizer on it?

 

[carameldiva]

Unbelievable. I am so sorry that you and that poor 4-year old baby had to be subjected to this horrendous woman's callousness and ignorance. I remember about 18 years ago, I dated a young man whose who family was "high yella" as was he and I am brown-skin. They all had fine, curly hair. I recall them (the sister and mom) trying to put a bantu relaxer in my hair in an effort to get it to behave. Ya'll know, no happenings. I was a little miffed but not as angry as I would be now.

 

[crazydaze911]

That is a horrible story, i hope the majority of dominican women dont feel that way b/c they make TONS OF MONEY off of hair like ours. I was made fun of as a child for my hair and color so i know how that can effect a little girls self esteem.
I didnt read all the pages in the thread, but i was wondering (sorry if u already answered) how was the little girls hair after you took over. was the relaxer in long enough to loosen her curl or is her hair ok?

 

[crazydaze911]

wait, don't Dominicans have some African ancestry?

Most everyone in the world does in some form, but yes dominicans are normally in the dark category of hispanics. And haiti is right next door to DR so im sure they intermix.

 

[PretteePlease]

All I can say is you handled this ***** like a lady.

 

[softblackcotton]

I completely empathize with your little neice. My childhood was filled with adults just like your mother-in-law. My grandmother, my aunts, my cousins, neighbors, family friends, hairdressers, my own mother...it was very rough on the self-esteem of a very dark skin child with 4b hair.

 

[tdc1978]

I feel really bad for that little girl. I hope that she is never left alone with that little girl again, she might actually go through with it next time.

 

[motherpopcorn562]

Wtf that is horrible.

She sounds jealous. her old man prolly cheated on her with a black woman or prefered black women...
You got to go into that family with the armor of prayer. for real!

 

[Miss_C]

This is so sad! My eyes were welling up as I read this, beacause this could easily become that little girl's first memory, and she will always think she has "bad", ugly hair, and that she is ugly too because of some ridiculous stuff her horrible grandmother had to say. Sadly, alot of people, dominican or otherwise, feel this way.
The good thing is that you can be a support system for her, teaching her to do her own hair and to love herself. Just keep her away from the Dominican salons when she gets older, because the first chance she gets, she'll slap a relaxer in her "bad" hair to satisfy someone else's standards of beauty.