being your man's strength

[sunshinebeautiful]

Background: Just finished watching "Girlfriends" and I was struck by the final scene where Darnell broke down crying about the baby he and Maya lost. I was shouting at the TV screen, go over there and HOLD your man! He needs you!

Since relationships require give and take, eventually there will come a point when your man may be going through something and you need to be strong for him. How have ya'll handled this? Does it feel comfortable to be the "strong" one?

ETA: I'm not using the above example to say Maya was being strong. It was just running commentary on how I came to pose the question.

 

[foxxymami]

Wait a minute....what baby?????!!! You're not talking about the baby she's carry now?

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Wait a minute....what baby?????!!! You're not talking about the baby she's carry now?

Yes. You missed it? Or are you on central time? If so, ooops. erplexed

 

[foxxymami]

Background: Just finished watching "Girlfriends" and I was struck by the final scene where Darnell broke down crying about the baby he and Maya lost. I was shouting at the TV screen, go over there and HOLD your man! He needs you!

Since relationships require give and take, eventually there will come a point when your man may be going through something and you need to be strong for him. How have ya'll handled this? Does it feel comfortable to be the "strong" one?

To answer your question, yes I think there comes times where the man wants to be comforted and have his head rubbed, his forehead kissed, and your arm around his shoulder telling him it's gonna be okay. It didn't feel weird for me. He's a shoulder when I need him, so it felt natural to be that for him

 

[foxxymami]

Yes. You missed it? Or are you on central time? If so, ooops. erplexed

Girl, I'm all up in Heroes on NBC

I'm gonna catch Girlfriends tomorrow on cw.com

 

[bluediamond0829]

I dont have a man but i think being a relationship is meaning that being supportive of each other is very important.....i havent watched it i tivo'd it..but frm what you are saying i basically think she was more than being selfish about the entire thing...she was told what she had to do and to take it easy....and if she acted like tht and didnt go and show luv for her man over the matter than thats crazy...and selfish

its time when in a relationship a man needs to be held and supported and by who else....if not then he'll just have anger..

 

[PaperClip]

Background: Just finished watching "Girlfriends" and I was struck by the final scene where Darnell broke down crying about the baby he and Maya lost. I was shouting at the TV screen, go over there and HOLD your man! He needs you!

Since relationships require give and take, eventually there will come a point when your man may be going through something and you need to be strong for him. How have ya'll handled this? Does it feel comfortable to be the "strong" one?

Gotta be careful about gauging how people process their emotions. I was glad to see Darnell be so vulnerable. Maya has not come across as the most affectionate person, either.... Just because Maya did not do the "conventional" thing and go and hold him does not mean she's stronger. In fact, it could be a sign that she is about to explode from holding her emotions in.... Plus Maya was feeling so guilty about everything....

Sometimes when I am really deeply affected like that, it takes me time to process my emotions, esp. because I'm SO overwhelmed.... I feel like I can't control my responses/reflexes....

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Gotta be careful about gauging how people process their emotions. I was glad to see Darnell be so vulnerable. Maya has not come across as the most affectionate person, either.... Just because Maya did not do the "conventional" thing and go and hold him does not mean she's stronger. In fact, it could be a sign that she is about to explode from holding her emotions in.... Plus Maya was feeling so guilty about everything....

Sometimes when I am really deeply affected like that, it takes me time to process my emotions, esp. because I'm SO overwhelmed.... I feel like I can't control my responses/reflexes....

Oh, I wasn't saying that she was "stronger" for not holding him. I thought she was being kinda callous, actually, like she didn't know how to take it that he was crying.

For me, being strong in that situation would have been holding him close and letting him cry on my shoulder.

 

[PaperClip]

Oh, I wasn't saying that she was "stronger" for not holding him. I thought she was being kinda callous, actually, like she didn't know how to take it that he was crying.

For me, being strong in that situation would have been holding him close and letting him cry on my shoulder.

She probably didn't know how to take it. The one man I have LOVED with all my heart... he was on the telephone calling me the day his mother died...crying.... I wanted to collapse 'cause I had never seen him cry.... the man who had been a rock to me, when he called crying, I knew it was bad... real bad.... It's like you want to move and act and comfort, but you don't know how because you're frozen in fear.... numb....

Now that I think about it, we have seen Maya vulnerable... the Mother's Day episode when her mom was gonna move away... She took that hard.... I felt for her on that episode....

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

She probably didn't know how to take it. The one man I have LOVED with all my heart... he was on the telephone calling me the day his mother died...crying.... I wanted to collapse 'cause I had never seen him cry.... the man who had been a rock to me, when he called crying, I knew it was bad... real bad.... It's like you want to move and act and comfort, but you don't know how because you're frozen in fear.... numb....

Now that I think about it, we have seen Maya vulnerable... the Mother's Day episode when her mom was gonna move away... She took that hard.... I felt for her on that episode....

I've had a man cry on my shoulder before. I definitely did not know how to take it at the time, but now I'm a big ole softie. If my man broke down, he would definitely get a big, warm embrace.