ARE WE GETTING OFF TRACK? relaxed vs naturals etc.

[Highly Favored8]

This saddens the wool offa' this little lamb.

I'll be posting my 158th and 159th reviews over the next to weeks and it would BREAK MY LITTLE FREAKING HEART TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE WOULD REFUSE TO READ A REVIEW I WROTE BECAUSE I AM NATURAL AND THEY ARE NOT.

Seeing this thread I went through my guest lists and fotki friends and...yes...the majority are natural. Which is cool, because as others have stated being relaxed IS STILL THE NORM.

That said:

CONDITIONER IS CONDITIONER! SHAMPOO IS SHAMPOO!

Trust me! Please!

Do I mention in my reviews where one may do more for a relaxed head than another? Yes. Why? Because chemicals alter hair. No brainer.

BUT IT IS STILL HAIR!

RELAXED, NATURAL, TEXLAXED, BONELAXED, JACKLAXED, OR I-DON'T-GIVE-A-WHAT-WHAT-LAXED!

Conditioner conditioners ANY type of hair.

Shampoo CLEANS any type of hair.

Combs COMB all types of hair (albeit not as well as others. A rattail isn't touching my napps anytime soon. But you know what I mean).

RELAXED HEADS CAN GET AS MUCH FROM MY REVIEWS AS NATURALS BECAUSE HAIR IS HAIR.

WE ALL WANT IT LONG AND STRONG.

THE DIFFERENCES ARE IN THE DETAILS ONLY!

One poo may have too much protein for a natural hair. Big deal, a relaxed head reading the same review should think: Imma' jump on that!

Take from each other what you can.

My regimen for a relaxed head may involve a little more protein and a light mist versus a styling lotion. WOW! OMGosh! Big Divide!

Head 'fer da' hills momma'!


I'm sorrowful people sense a divide just because more people are becoming natural. People saying they are glad they aren't relaxed because of no more burns is NOT AN ATTACK on relaxed heads.

Someone saying, "I could never go natural", is NOT AN ATTACK on naturals.

I think a lot of "attacks" (a lot, not all) are in people's perceptions.

There ARE differences in relaxed hair care and natural hair care, but not enough to be worth causing it's own thread!

That said, OP, you did a brave and wonderful thing! Let's hope it's the last time it will be needed!

AMEN! I also think that is why some people leave the forum for good! When they can be a blessing to help others. Each one teach one!

 

[discodumpling]

I must have missed the shift...cause it's the same LHCF as when I was a lurker. Take what you need and leave the rest. The information can be overwhelming.

 

[Candy_C]

i was thinkin the same thing!!!

lets growwwwww sisters


forget about natural/perm etc etc

GROOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW

either way

the hair is afro hair

so lets do this thing!

 

[shocol]

On the whole, it is a good environment, but there is a nasty undercurrent here imo. If there wasn't one, I doubt this thread would have been made/ replied to so much.

This is what I see as well and it just takes the right or the wrong thing said for things to flare-up and get out of hand.

Most of us are bringing our own beliefs and practices from society at large when we join. Perhaps we should remember that people don't come here as blank slates ready to soak up the LHCF branded point of view.

But it's okay, a little patience, some understanding, and an open mind works wonders.

 

[Candy_C]

yep

LHCF has definately changed

i wouldnt say it if i didnt realise it

 

[cutiebe2]

You can only talk about growth for so long. When I joined there were more growth thread but now that info is in the archives are you can look it up if need be. No need to make a new thread about it. Not everyone has the same length goals. I myself am searching for a "look". So if I just had relaxed long hair I would not be happy. The look includes texture, cut, color, and length



ETA: I don't see the horrible undercurrents that people are talking about. Maybe there are more hot threads but I don't see that as a big deal. I think that some sub-forums are in more trouble than others.

 

[OneInAMillion]

I agree with this.

It's like white folks hollering about becoming the minority, when in reality, there are still more of them and they still have the power.

Relaxers will never go out of style, so there is nothing to worry about. There may seem to be more naturals now, but so what? I don't get this last of a dying breed thing. It's not like relaxers are being discontinued or something...so why the worrying? I'm not asking to be snarky, I'm just wondering.

Anyhoo, I don't think we're off track. Summer brings change. Some relaxed heads are BCing, and some naturals are relaxing/texlaxing. Once fall comes, everything will settle again.

I couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think there's a change here in the board at all, this happens EVERY year. Summer brings change, period. Aside from that, I appreciate having a group of natural and relaxed ladies and the tide is always changing, we always want to do something different with our hair, it's normal.

I honestly stay out of the silly natural vs. relaxed threads because at the end of the day, none of it matters here or IRL. I want long, healthy hair period and I want to see women of varying hair types who have achieved that, whether relaxed or natural. For the most part, I can say that the ladies here want that too so that's what I stick around for.

 

[Gracie]

Maybe haven't visited the threads that you all are. The only negative thread that I've been in was one where one person had reaches a few conclusions and tried to pass it on as fact. So far I haven't seen a relaxed vs naturals posting.

Most if not all of the information about growth hasn't changed and has been discussed already and to be honest that why I read the archives so much and why I haven't had to start a thread. The information is already out there.

So I guess my answer is...no we are not getting off track and no I don't think that relaxed and naturals should help like stranded people. I read it all. Besides when hair is sprouting out of your scalp it's natural so the advice from people that are natural is useful for the ones that are relaxed. There are a lot of people who have dry fragile ends and the advice of the people that are relaxed is useful for the ones that are natural.

And....it is not all about growth, it's about health too.

 

[Aggie]

It's a cycle. All forums go through them - it's like a hormonal cycle, on an internet scale.

Lately, the tone, overall, has been angrier, sharper, more divided, and overall b!tchier. I'm sensing a lack of sisterhood, on the real. Maybe we need to turn the A/C on, or something?

*shrug*

The only way to move forward is for EACH of us to take responsibility, and to carefully weigh and judge our words before we let them hit the screen.

Just because you would LOVE to say it, doesn't mean it needs to be said.

Right on sista

]Yeah the atmosphere has really changed for the worse [/B]
Way different then when I first started posting here.


Rinse and repeat and throw a few up dates and that's the hair board.... basically

TRUE TRUE.

Dizang!!!!!! What is going on today it seems like its about to be a war on LHCF. WE NEED TO SET A EXAMPLE TO THE NEWEST LADIES THAT IS LOOKING FOR HAIR CARE. THIS IS NOT WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SIGNED UP FOR, IT'S UNFORTUNATE THAT WE'RE TAKING COMMENTS OUT OF CONTEXT. IT'S OK TO AGREE TO DISAGREE HOWEVER, THIS ISH HAS JUST OPENED UP A CAN OF WORMS.

CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO HAIR CARE..... ALL THESE SLY REMARKS NEEDS TO GO STR8 TO THE ENTERTAINMENT THREADS WHERE THEY BELONG.

SERIOUSLY THIS ISH HAS GOTS TO STOP!!!!!

ITA

I agree. I'm newly natural and I know I've been preachy a few times, but that's human nature. Newly saved, newly married, new parent...you are excited and want to share what you've learned. After awhile, you settle into your new status and it's not as serious.

On the other side, we have to read stuff like "I could NEVER be natural" and "thank God for relaxers!" and what not. People are excited about their relaxed hair too, and good for them.



Besides, at the end of the day, we're still family, at least in my mind.

Say it loud.
.

It's an option now, jus like the option not to use it. idk, its all confusin to me. jus grow some hair, post some pics, unlock your dang fotki so i can stalk!

Yeah ya'll, unlock dem fotkis, what up with all the locks? I need to get my stalkin' on:.

 

[Kurlee]

like I stated in an earlier post it's all good to seek out information that is useful to YOU... but the problem is when threads are created downing relaxed or natural heads. The problem is also when people start shutting down others because you THINK what they are saying isn't relevant to you.
The great thing about our sorority-like community is the common goal of wanting long hair and assisiting one another with achieving those goals.
Unfortunatly some folks are tearing that down and building up a wall between well, Everybody!!

oh ok, haven't seen any of those. I thought u were referring to the threads that specify a certain hair type of natural or relaxed with a question

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Originally Posted by JustKiya
It's a cycle. All forums go through them - it's like a hormonal cycle, on an internet scale.

Lately, the tone, overall, has been angrier, sharper, more divided, and overall b!tchier. I'm sensing a lack of sisterhood, on the real. Maybe we need to turn the A/C on, or something?

*shrug*

The only way to move forward is for EACH of us to take responsibility, and to carefully weigh and judge our words before we let them hit the screen.

Just because you would LOVE to say it, doesn't mean it needs to be said.

This is a great post. Thanks JustKiya!

 

[Casarela]

I LOVE HUUUUR WETHER UR NATURAL OR PERMED I LIKE....However if someone is giving info on how to ease the process of transitioning by using a certain technique thats not being offtrack your just catering the needs of a specific segment (ladies transitionning) . on this board we find relaxed , texlaxed , transitioners and naturals so its normal to have a variety of posts to cater the needs of each segment. IMO when people debate on the natural vs relaxer and vice versa on which one is better it comes down to a personal choice and thats useless to argue on that. On the other hand , I would not generalize about were getting off track thats just not the case.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

i've noticed this as well...

I want to grow my hair LONG, LONG, LONG, and i want to do it in the shortest time possible! I feel like in order to do so, i have to have the healthiest hair possible, and I have to be happy with it's state (be it natural, transitioning, or relaxed). That means (for me) learning to adjust to being natural, learning how to care for it etc. I've always thought that the flux of natural, transitions and relaxed threads were just some ways that people were aquiring info to better care for their hair... thus making it grow longer, in the shortest, and healthiest way possible.

Also, with the warm weather, it seems as though this is the season of the BC. Many who recently bc'ed, thinking about bc, or are transitioning just need some support, advice, opinions etc. Its hard to adjust to newfound texture in the heat, (at least it is for me), so i see why there are so many threads about this.

ITA thank you for writing my thoughts and just think, next year this time all of us newly BC laides will be talking twist outs, braid outs and roller sets with our longer haired relaxed girls. I think its a cyclical thing.

 

[Artemis]

It's a cycle. All forums go through them - it's like a hormonal cycle, on an internet scale.

Lately, the tone, overall, has been angrier, sharper, more divided, and overall b!tchier. I'm sensing a lack of sisterhood, on the real. Maybe we need to turn the A/C on, or something?

And, since this is a hair board, and we are black women, one of the main ways those 'vibes' flare up is in the constant relaxed vs. natural vs. pressed vs. texlaxed vs. mixed vs. 100% african vs. wtfever, because we still reflect the issues and attitudes we grew up with around hair & texture - good vs. bad, better vs. worse, easier vs. harder.

*shrug*

The only way to move forward is for EACH of us to take responsibility, and to carefully weigh and judge our words before we let them hit the screen.

PM's are wonderful things, as is the ignore button. We are all (mostly) grown women here, we should have learned by now how to activate the brain/mouth (or brain/fingers, as the case may be) filter by now.

Just because you would LOVE to say it, doesn't mean it needs to be said.

I agree with every thing here, esp. the bold.

It gets like this every so often... It'll pass, and then double back, just like the economy, or the political climate. In the long run, it's no big deal IMO.

 

[SouthernTease]

LHCF... semantics... semantics...
it's really a board about BLACK WOMEN & Their hair...
so that's how I feel about it...
plus "long hair" is subjective...
to some people it's SL to some it's Knee Length...
it doesn't it really matter... does it...
we have a place to come to talk about everything
I don't think we should pigeonhole the conversations
to just talking about long hair...
that's my 2 cent

 

[Duchesse]

LHCF... semantics... semantics...
it's really a board about BLACK WOMEN & Their hair...
so that's how I feel about it...
plus "long hair" is subjective...
to some people it's SL to some it's Knee Length...
it doesn't it really matter... does it...
we have a place to come to talk about everything
I don't think we should pigeonhole the conversations
to just talking about long hair...
that's my 2 cent

I totally agree with ya!

I think it's great that there is so much conversation/debate/arguments/enlightenments about OUR hair. Even if certain sentiments are offensive to others, there is a place for evryone's opinion whether you agree with it or not.

OT: Your hair looks way pretty!

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

This is a great post. Thanks JustKiya!

I agree with Nice &Wavy, JustKiya your post is totally on point. And you are also one of those who lead by example. Thanks for all your advice in my DC thread.

 

[CHEEKQUEEN]

I feel that all of our hair will continue to grow no matter what. I can sit and talk about my hair growing all day long. But, that won't get me the answers that I need for how to manage it. I am on a new journey and I really want to educate myself in order to gain and retain length. I am open to talk about hair period. I don't care if it is relaxed, natural, long or short. I support everyone! I get pretty bored talking about my length goals and I spent so much time making charts, graphs, and gestimating the future of my hair length. My brain was so caught up in all that. My main focus is to have healthy hair. Growth will always be in constant motion. Ok, I just fell off the track talking about that. I could have been commenting or giving someone some advice.......

 

[Country gal]

Not everyone is obsessed with long hair despite being on LHCF. I just want healthy and thick hair.

 

[sylver2]

LHCF... semantics... semantics...
it's really a board about BLACK WOMEN & Their hair...
so that's how I feel about it...
plus "long hair" is subjective...
to some people it's SL to some it's Knee Length...
it doesn't it really matter... does it...
we have a place to come to talk about everything
I don't think we should pigeonhole the conversations
to just talking about long hair...
that's my 2 cent

didn't you start some relaxer is the devil type threads or natural vs relaxed threads????

 

[Mrs. Verde]

this evening DC'ing with kenra care and honeyquat.

 

[DivaD04]

This saddens the wool offa' this little lamb.

PEOPLE WOULD REFUSE TO READ A REVIEW I WROTE BECAUSE I AM NATURAL AND THEY ARE NOT.

CONDITIONER IS CONDITIONER! SHAMPOO IS SHAMPOO!
!

just to get the basics of what your saying i had to cut the rest of your post although i agree with u totally....it shouldn't matter what your hair type is info is info and if it benefits one or benefits all...i also think folks shouldn't pass it up just b/c they don't like someone's hair status. when it comes to info i'll take what i can and give what i know!

 

[SouthernTease]

didn't you start some relaxer is the devil type threads or natural vs relaxed threads????

Ummm... WHAT ??? No...

My views on relaxers are like any other product review I'd do...
my hair is better off without them...

In the end... honestly... I could care less what another women
decides to do / not do with her own hair, but many people don't
have time to read books, scholarly articles and search the forum for hours and hours to find what they need to know and find value in
my opinion/knowledge.

I rarely ever engage in the natural/relaxed discussions anymore
if I do it's only to say that my hair is like a million times better since I stopped getting them...
but different strokes for different folks.

But even if I did start a thread like that...
so what??? like another previous poster said...
there's room for everybody's opinions...
I just choose not to...
you live and you learn...
I don't like the negative energy...

Moving on...

 

[naturalgurl]

I just came here to get info. I got it and now I'm gone....


Not really. I've met a few people here that I really like and talk to off this site. Some people here are too emotional and take other people's opinions too seriously. I try to stay away from that. But like all boards, people are people and the disagreements are inevitable.

 

[Kurlee]

Man i really hope silly season on the board ends soon

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

I know. I just recently touched up after stretching my relaxer. I had to look long and hard for info about caring for relaxed hair. It almost got to a point where I thought I had to be natural to gain some length. NOw, I know it is easier to regain it, naturally. But, I found it harder to find information on growing hair with a relaxer verses, growing hair being natural!

I disagree with that statement. I think it is just the search engine and/or our techniques of conducting a search. Cause as a natural I often feel the opposite of you...that it is hard to find info for naturals. But in the end I realize majority of the time for me it is the search engine I shy away from even using it lately because I HATE seeing that white screen show up!

 

[cocoberry10]

I definitely think good haircare practices are the key, no matter whether you are natural or relaxed.


HOWEVER, for me, many of the things I could do relaxed, I cannot do natural (and vice versa).

Overall, I apply the same shampoo and conditioning principles I applied when I relaxed. But as far as things like heat and other issues, my hair textures are quite different relaxed and natural, so some things have had to change.

I have no problem learning from both and hope that anyone with good advice will continue to share!

 

[Mestiza]

I have noticed that there has been more discussion about relaxed, texlaxed, transitioning and natural hair. We are going to fall into one of those categories unless we don't have any hair. Long hair and healthy hair is an option for all of those. So, I hope that we all realize that we can learn something from each other.

I strongly dislike the us versus them mentality. That does not help any of us progress.

 

[TaurusAngel]

didn't you start some relaxer is the devil type threads or natural vs relaxed threads????

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=204817&highlight=southern+tease

 

[BostonMaria]

I've only been on this forum for about 2 or 3 weeks now and I never noticed any hostility between the relaxed and natural folks. Then again I only frequent threads that are relevant to my hair and needs. I don't look down upon anybody that relaxes their hair. At the same time if somebody wants to transition and needs advice I'll give them all the help they want and need.

Most of the sites I have joined are geared towards curly and/or natural hair. This is the only board I've joined where its a free for all of hair types. Either way it doesn't bother me one bit. The way I see it I'm a PJ and obsessed with hair so as long as everybody's talking about hair I'm good LOL

Oh and as far as soul searching goes... going back to my natural hair has definitely been a "spiritual" experience of sorts. I love my hair and can't imagine going back to relaxers, but that's just me.