ARE WE GETTING OFF TRACK? relaxed vs naturals etc.

[DeepBluSea]

Maybe I missed the thread, but can someone point me to the thread where folks got attacked for being either relaxed or natural?

 

[QT]

Maybe I missed the thread, but can someone point me to the thread where folks got attacked for being either relaxed or natural?

it's a mad HOUSE

 

[QT]

It's the "i gotta reach these hair goals/ The natural r catching up"

enter if you dare erplexed

 

[sunnydaze]

It's the "i gotta reach these hair goals/ The natural r catching up"

enter if you dare erplexed

It was bumped back up..went in..went out..nothin goin on in there...

 

[LongiLox]

Yes, we are getting off track. We need to stop this ridiculousness and unite once again. This site is about HEALTHY long (or short) hair. Not about relaxed versus textlaxed versus natural. That's the problem with us. We AA are always on some divide and conquer ****. Why can't we just live as one for once? Please people, I'm begging you, let's reunite.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I'm going back to creamy crack...but my reason isn't b/c it's a fad, when I shaved...clippered it all off, my hair was easy and i was personally in love. my 4b is supppppper thick and i start sweating when it's time to do anything to it. so i don't see it as a fad but realistically find it a big challenge not to mention my snapps aren't retaining and um, i'm trying to keep what i grow, and i can easily do that w/ a laxer.

ETA: I've been on cream for 20yrs, that's a long time. it really does feel good to know that i can give it up if i wanted to. it took alot just to go 6mths w/o a laxer, ah not to mention cutting off the laxer. but i don't think one's focus should be whether i'm down for the natral crew or the relaxed crew, but on the lhcf crew side. and if that is not the intentions them folks should stop posting cuz beef'n on whether ur natural or not is not cool at all.

I just went back and clarified my quote. I didn't even read that other thread that this one is based on. But once I did I was like I don't want people to think that's what I meant.

I guess being on this board, I feel the fever and sometimes I have wild, vivid dreams of just cutting off all my relaxed hair! I've thought about transitioning, but my hair is so thick, it gives me a headache to even manipulate my NG sometimes, I couldn't imagine my whole head being natural hair (although I think it would be beautiful). It's just a lot for me to handle right now and I don't think I'm ready for it.

I know a lot of ladies are really doing it right now on the board and that's the only reason I'd refer to it as a "fad/trend" for lack of a better term.

I don't think relaxed it's better than natural or whatever. If you read the welcoming page on my fotki, it states what I truly believe: If it's growing out my scalp, it is mine, no matter what it's "state" is.

People with all diff. hair persuasions have beautiful and jacked up heads just the same. I don't never feel like I'm in a race with others, that's silly. Everybody's body is different. It's really all about you and what you prefer.

Who knows what I will do with my hair in the future? People do what they gotta do.

 

[Prettyeyes]

THANX ladies! I love hearing everyones opinions.HHG!

BTW, this thread isn't a spin off but recent threads did make me finally create a poll to see how everyone is feeling!!

 

[Southernbella.]

I think its like a majority vs. minorty thing, or "powershift" or something.

I think it's also because people are so proud to be natural, and usually when people go natural they have alot of reasons why they dont like relaxers anymore or decided to stop using them, and they have the "finally natural" "natural and proud" ect. in the siggys. (nothing wrong with that )

When the majority of people were relaxed, it may have been more comfotable for the minority people with natural hair because no-one is saying "relaxed and proud", "natural hair/products are declining yay!" ect.

Also, it may feel like people are leaving your "team" when they go natural. Because even though it may be backwards, most people are relaxed, and this is their first time leaving relaxers.

And i think that if like 90% of the board were natural, and in a couple of years the majorty started relaxnig and were really happy about it, then the same feelings may come up again because relaxed isnt the "normal" anymore, natural is.


ETA---Also wanted to add that natural hair can never be a fad, but relaxers could be a fad thats dying off and that can be something that causes worry.

I agree with this.

It's like white folks hollering about becoming the minority, when in reality, there are still more of them and they still have the power.

Relaxers will never go out of style, so there is nothing to worry about. There may seem to be more naturals now, but so what? I don't get this last of a dying breed thing. It's not like relaxers are being discontinued or something...so why the worrying? I'm not asking to be snarky, I'm just wondering.

Anyhoo, I don't think we're off track. Summer brings change. Some relaxed heads are BCing, and some naturals are relaxing/texlaxing. Once fall comes, everything will settle again.

 

[divya]

I think its like a majority vs. minorty thing, or "powershift" or something.

I think it's also because people are so proud to be natural, and usually when people go natural they have alot of reasons why they dont like relaxers anymore or decided to stop using them, and they have the "finally natural" "natural and proud" ect. in the siggys. (nothing wrong with that )

When the majority of people were relaxed, it may have been more comfotable for the minority people with natural hair because no-one is saying "relaxed and proud", "natural hair/products are declining yay!" ect.

Also, it may feel like people are leaving your "team" when they go natural. Because even though it may be backwards, most people are relaxed, and this is their first time leaving relaxers.

And i think that if like 90% of the board were natural, and in a couple of years the majorty started relaxnig and were really happy about it, then the same feelings may come up again because relaxed isnt the "normal" anymore, natural is.


ETA---Also wanted to add that natural hair can never be a fad, but relaxers could be a fad thats dying off and that can be something that causes worry.

Seems so...good post.

 

[LynnieB]

Just wow.

I'm here to grow my hair long and i happen to be newly natural. this is the LHCF right?

Others are here to grow their hair long and happen to be relaxed. this is the LHCF right?

Some other folks are here to grow their hair long but are learning how to stretch the time between touch-ups. this is the LHCF right?

Some people even make decisions to relax or go natural but still their ultimate goal is to grow their hair long. this is the LHCF right?

Aren't people going to ask questions about what concerns their particular head of hair? Of course alot of that information can be applied across the various kinds of hair but sometimes the answers need to be hair specific.

If someone posts a Help Me thread, don't we ask her if she's relaxed or natural first? If you (not OP but any of us) need suggestions on a hair problem, isn't it logical to identify yourself as relaxed or natural to get more specific help for that particular problem?

Now if the OP is referring to the relaxed is better than natural or natural is better than relaxed threads - these usually end up going south within the first few posts and do have a tendency to cause divisiveness and lot of unnecessary drama.

I guess i just do not understand the purpose of this post.

 

[Swanky]

...getting off track? hmmm, I don't know. What I DO know is a journey to healthy, strong and of course long; and getting there by any means necessary... for me part of that means happily going Natural. See, the info on here, I 'extract what I need/bite of what I can chew' and leave the rest alone.

 

[DeepBluSea]

It's the "i gotta reach these hair goals/ The natural r catching up"

enter if you dare erplexed

Okay, so that's one weird thread. But where are the others, since apparently this has been going on a long time?

I don't know. I think this war is going on in people's head. They feel convicted, so they come out swinging. But no one has really attacked anyone. I also think some people like to create drama where there is none.

 

[Prettyeyes]

Just wow.

I'm here to grow my hair long and i happen to be newly natural. this is the LHCF right?

Others are here to grow their hair long and happen to be relaxed. this is the LHCF right?

Some other folks are here to grow their hair long but are learning how to stretch the time between touch-ups. this is the LHCF right?

Some people even make decisions to relax or go natural but still their ultimate goal is to grow their hair long. this is the LHCF right?

Aren't people going to ask questions about what concerns their particular head of hair? Of course alot of that information can be applied across the various kinds of hair but sometimes the answers need to be hair specific.

If someone posts a Help Me thread, don't we ask her if she's relaxed or natural first? If you (not OP but any of us) need suggestions on a hair problem, isn't it logical to identify yourself as relaxed or natural to get more specific help for that particular problem?

Now if the OP is referring to the relaxed is better than natural or natural is better than relaxed threads - these usually end up going south within the first few posts and do have a tendency to cause divisiveness and lot of unnecessary drama.

I guess i just do not understand the purpose of this post.

I created a poll to find out how others were feeling about the focus of the forum. I love to know how others view things!

 

[divya]

Just wow.

I'm here to grow my hair long and i happen to be newly natural. this is the LHCF right?

Others are here to grow their hair long and happen to be relaxed. this is the LHCF right?

Some other folks are here to grow their hair long but are learning how to stretch the time between touch-ups. this is the LHCF right?

Some people even make decisions to relax or go natural but still their ultimate goal is to grow their hair long. this is the LHCF right?

Aren't people going to ask questions about what concerns their particular head of hair? Of course alot of that information can be applied across the various kinds of hair but sometimes the answers need to be hair specific.

If someone posts a Help Me thread, don't we ask her if she's relaxed or natural first? If you (not OP but any of us) need suggestions on a hair problem, isn't it logical to identify yourself as relaxed or natural to get more specific help for that particular problem?

Now if the OP is referring to the relaxed is better than natural or natural is better than relaxed threads - these usually end up going south within the first few posts and do have a tendency to cause divisiveness and lot of unnecessary drama.

I guess i just do not understand the purpose of this post.

Good post.

But kinda OT...your hair looks beautiful!

 

[Prettyeyes]

I agree with this.

It's like white folks hollering about becoming the minority, when in reality, there are still more of them and they still have the power.

Relaxers will never go out of style, so there is nothing to worry about. There may seem to be more naturals now, but so what? I don't get this last of a dying breed thing. It's not like relaxers are being discontinued or something...so why the worrying? I'm not asking to be snarky, I'm just wondering.

Anyhoo, I don't think we're off track. Summer brings change. Some relaxed heads are BCing, and some naturals are relaxing/texlaxing. Once fall comes, everything will settle again.

If I was brave enough(or if I could get my hair back each fall) I would love to BC every summer cause I love short wash and go hair when it's HOT. But like I said I am too into length for that!

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

I know this is off track but...
EVERYTIME I see your hair LynnieB I just

Carry on.

 

[Duff]

It seems as if the focus is becoming less about LONG HAIR and GROWTH and more about relaxed vs natural or BC or transitions. I LOVE all these subjects but I want to focus on LONG HAIR and GROWTH. I have goals to reach. I will be inspired by long hair no matter if they are relaxed ,natural or transitioning.I'm here for PICS, progress and help and to be helpful

I didnt read the whole thread but I dont understand the separation desire. it's all just hair people (sounding like Ateya!!) why cant I look at a moisturizer that a natural is using and think, this sounds good or I need to try that. or naturals look at a bun pic from a relaxer and it inspires her to try something new. if you close yourself off to what others are using that are different, you could be missing out on something very beneficial to you.

 

[Prettyeyes]

This thread's not a spin off. It's a poll and all views are welcome!

THE QUESTION IS ARE WE OFF TRACK?

 

[DivaD04]

I just went back and clarified my quote. I didn't even read that other thread that this one is based on. But once I did I was like I don't want people to think that's what I meant.

I guess being on this board, I feel the fever and sometimes I have wild, vivid dreams of just cutting off all my relaxed hair! I've thought about transitioning, but my hair is so thick, it gives me a headache to even manipulate my NG sometimes, I couldn't imagine my whole head being natural hair (although I think it would be beautiful). It's just a lot for me to handle right now and I don't think I'm ready for it.

I know a lot of ladies are really doing it right now on the board and that's the only reason I'd refer to it as a "fad/trend" for lack of a better term.

I don't think relaxed it's better than natural or whatever. If you read the welcoming page on my fotki, it states what I truly believe: If it's growing out my scalp, it is mine, no matter what it's "state" is.

People with all diff. hair persuasions have beautiful and jacked up heads just the same. I don't never feel like I'm in a race with others, that's silly. Everybody's body is different. It's really all about you and what you prefer.

Who knows what I will do with my hair in the future? People do what they gotta do.

i agree, i was just like wow why are people so preoccupied on what everybody else got going on with each other's heads...u know! for me personally, i got my inspiration to go natural here but it took alot for me to give up the cream and i am so ready to get it back. i wanted to stay natural, but after this thick tihs started to grow.....ah man, i feel like i'm at tugawar w/it. but ur right, i'm entering threads and folks are going at it over relaxed vs. natural. and all the while we should be focused on healthy growing hair whether its long or short. we all know that thread...QT... girl why that child...let me sigh some relief over here "huh", ya'll the title and the post collided in every direction it could have gone.

 

[DivaD04]

This thread's not a spin off. It's a poll and all views are welcome!

THE QUESTION IS ARE WE OFF TRACK?

some folks are off track, yes

 

[FAMUDva]

This thread's not a spin off. It's a poll and all views are welcome!

THE QUESTION IS ARE WE OFF TRACK?

There wasn't a response on the poll for me...

No, I don't think we are off track. I think EVERYONE here is concerned with achieving healthy long hair (eventually ).

 

[mezzogirl]

I'm fairly new ( about 4 months). I haven't read many threads where I sense a battle. I do tend to look at post that I feel will meet my need at the time. I am relaxed but will look at a transitioning thread or natural thread because I'm stretching and my ng is natural. Whatever helps me keep my hair on my head is what I read. I haven't noticed a relaxed vs. natural thing.

Everything seems to be on track (at least to me).

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Yes..... but many hair forums can get off track - then they can turn themselves around.

Hopefully LHCF will

 

[shocol]

Are we off track? Not completely, but I have seen some threads where the tone is questionable. Personally I love the mix, the combo of natural and relaxed hair advice. If I hadn't learned to care for my relaxed hair here, going natural would never have been an option for me. Also because I don't share some political/social views on relaxed/nappy hair, I would never be comfortable in some nappy hair only forums. LHCF suits me just fine.

 

[QT]

Yes..... but many hair forums can get off track - then they can turn themselves around.

Hopefully LHCF will

I’m curious as to what is off track ? I’m guessing the vets are the ones who can enlighten us on why it’s off track and how we can fix it . Vets are the ones who has seen the actual changes, as a “newbie” I’m thinking that everything is “normal.”

 

[LaPetiteCoquette]

Are we of track? As a newbie, but a newbie that has lurked for a long while. Yes. Um -- I think the hostility and separation is totally uncalled for. It's just hair. I don't see why everyone has to get all up in arms about everything. I don't know about anyone else -- but I am here to grow my hair as long as I can. And yes, I can learn from everyone - 1A to 4Z. Relaxed, natural, transitioners. When it comes to my hair and its health, I am not going to discriminate against anyone who offers help. And when I ask questions, at least for my threads, I've had naturals and transitioners as well as relaxed girls respond to me. And I love it. I just wish people would just use the "ignore" button if someone really gets under thier skin instead of flame warring a thread. It makes the forum a very not nice place to be.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Are we of track? As a newbie, but a newbie that has lurked for a long while. Yes. Um -- I think the hostility and separation is totally uncalled for. It's just hair. I don't see why everyone has to get all up in arms about everything. I don't know about anyone else -- but I am here to grow my hair as long as I can. And yes, I can learn from everyone - 1A to 4Z. Relaxed, natural, transitioners. When it comes to my hair and its health, I am not going to discriminate against anyone who offers help. And when I ask questions, at least for my threads, I've had naturals and transitioners as well as relaxed girls respond to me. And I love it. I just wish people would just use the "ignore" button if someone reallt gets under thier skin instead of flame warring a thread. It makes the forum a very not nice place to be.

ITA. I take advice from everybody texed, laxed, or natural. I think we all have something to offer each other to reach our particular goals. I don't think this board has gotten off track, but I think the vibe has changed over the few months I've been here.

 

[*Frisky*]

I really dont know think we are off track per say and the separation between natural and relaxed is nothing new at all. I have been a member for almost 3 years, not as long as some but longer than alot of people in this thread and this has been a constant controversy the whole time. It comes in cycles it seems like and I dont think it will ever change. Everyone just needs to give respect to others choices about their hair and keep it moving. Mind you this does not just apply to just natural vs relaxed. Products and methods have gone under attack as well and it just repeats it self as new members join and feel like they want to voice their opinions. Its nice to think optimistic about it but honestly all you can do is try not to involve yourself and leave it for other folks to fight it out if they choose to .

 

[Neroli]

IMO, LHCF is most definitely not off track. Over the years, I've seen these controversies flare up and go away in a flash because the lovely ladies on this forum are caring, nurturing, highly intelligent, highly educated people who know how to zero in on the essentials and ignore the irrelevant and superficial.

Even for an old timer like me, the forum continues to be a great source of awesome information on all things hair and of course, there's the entertainment factor when reading some of these threads. LOL! I'm very very comfortably with my "regimen" (such as it is!) and I love my relaxed hair (THANK YOU, LHCF!), I'm constantly learning something new here all the time. It has been months since my last post but I lurk at least a couple of times a month just to check on things.

Keep up the good work, ladies . . .

 

[JustKiya]

It's a cycle. All forums go through them - it's like a hormonal cycle, on an internet scale.

Lately, the tone, overall, has been angrier, sharper, more divided, and overall b!tchier. I'm sensing a lack of sisterhood, on the real. Maybe we need to turn the A/C on, or something?

And, since this is a hair board, and we are black women, one of the main ways those 'vibes' flare up is in the constant relaxed vs. natural vs. pressed vs. texlaxed vs. mixed vs. 100% african vs. wtfever, because we still reflect the issues and attitudes we grew up with around hair & texture - good vs. bad, better vs. worse, easier vs. harder.

*shrug*

The only way to move forward is for EACH of us to take responsibility, and to carefully weigh and judge our words before we let them hit the screen.

PM's are wonderful things, as is the ignore button. We are all (mostly) grown women here, we should have learned by now how to activate the brain/mouth (or brain/fingers, as the case may be) filter by now.

Just because you would LOVE to say it, doesn't mean it needs to be said.