Relaxed vs. Natural: Stop the Beef

[MeccaMedinah]

OT: Hey Delight! Welcome back!

I personally think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and have a right to voice that opinion.

I think that there really isn't a beef...some people are just more sensitive than others.

I think it is unrealistic to expect everyone in a thread to agree or sing kum-ba-ya.

I was natural...now I'm back to a relaxer. There is talk about mindsets...but the reality is that you don't know a person's mindset. I loved my natural hair. I love my hair now. Being around natural folks taught me that everyone natural is not the same. Some folks act like gatekeepers of all things nappy. They are not. Alot of assumptions are made that are not true. There are some ignorant nappy headed folks just like there are ignorant relaxed, texturized, white, black, chinese, etc.

To each his own. Do you. Learn. Love. Live.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

OT: Hey Delight! Welcome back!

Hey beautiful! Thanks!

 

[Tee]

I tend to disagree with your opinion on unsolicited advice. Sometimes people are afraid to ask a question, or they are just lurking, or wouldn't have even thought of a particular subject if it hadn't been brought up by someone else. This is a HAIR BOARD, so I think advice of any kind should be welcomed and encouraged! If someone doesn't like the advice given or the topic being discussed, leave the thread and don't comment. I noticed that there was a ratings discussion in CG's thread as well, but I never rate threads or pay attention to them anyways, so that really doesn't matter to me. If the advice is helpful, I take it and move on. If there are folks rating these types of threads badly, I think it's b/c they probably ASSUME that it's the same old natural vs. relaxed debate and rate it without reading the entire thread. I think CG's thread was positive, and even contained some constructive criticism of her original post without getting nasty. The whole relaxed/natural thing is always gonna be a touchy subject, but if everyone remembers that you can do what you want to do with YOUR hair, then there's really no need for debate. I think this topic flares up when you have ppl with deep seeded issues that they haven't dealt with on BOTH SIDES. This response is in no way meant to offend the OP, but I just think that we all need to remember that our real purpose on this forum is to grow long, healthy hair, whether it's relaxed, natural, or anywhere in between.

You are so on the money Ayannopoo. I dont rate threads either. If I find the information useful, good. If not, I just go on.

I dont see alot hate or beef here either. I find good info from relaxed and naturals. I am just here to grow!

 

[Ms_Twana]

Whew. I need to start catching these topics before they become too much for me to read.

Okay, I disagree with those that say everyones opinions and feelings are respected, because they're not. In fact, IMO, that' what the main problem is. You can't force you opinions and feelings on someone else.

I do, however, totally agree with those that say the controversy will be down of people just watch their tone. I found myself having to re-read a post over and over again a second ago. The funny thing is, I never saw the controversy until the other post on not going natural. But then again I've been a member for all of 3 days, I think.

I don't think that seperate boards will be the answer though, because we do need to cross "sides" to seek advice. I've gotten a lot of haircare tips from naturals and I'm relaxed. I started coming to this site to learn how to grow my hair out. In the short time, I learned a lot about what it takes to transition and be natural. And I don't think I would have gotten that if the boards were seperate, because I would have stayed on the relaxed side.

 

[MizaniMami]

I see beef! Even tho I was natural for most of my life, I generally avoid threads started by naturals unless the subject says something atypical. I don't like being called corrupted, a slave, or scared because I changed my hairstyle. Call me crazy.

ETA: I LOVE my hair! (natural or relaxed)

I was planning on not saying anything but when I read this i knew I couldn't leave you hanging.

I totally agree with everything Sareca said. Sometimes it seems like when one says something to uplift themselves they have to down the other. This to me spews agner/bitterness which can come of to me as kinda rauchy, just my opinion.

 

[sareca]

I was planning on not saying anything but when I read this i knew I couldn't leave you hanging.

I totally agree with everything Sareca said. Sometimes it seems like when one says something to uplift themselves they have to down the other. This to me spews agner/bitterness which can come of to me as kinda rauchy, just my opinion.

Exactly! I always think, if you're making this big of a deal about your hair being natural you must have some pretty low self-esteem. Is this all you have to be proud of? Seems a bit like grasping at straws, IMO.

 

[firecracker]

I never knew about any beef between natural and relaxed on LHCF. (maybe some other beefs)
The women here encourage each other no matter what hair journey your on at any given time. I know many existing and old members that I witnessed go relaxed to perm, back to relaxed etc just because they could and it was a choice. They never received or gave any negative feed back or girl you sold out comments.

 

[1QTPie]

I personally think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and have a right to voice that opinion.

I think that there really isn't a beef...some people are just more sensitive than others.

I think it is unrealistic to expect everyone in a thread to agree or sing kum-ba-ya.

I was natural...now I'm back to a relaxer. There is talk about mindsets...but the reality is that you don't know a person's mindset. I loved my natural hair. I love my hair now. Being around natural folks taught me that everyone natural is not the same. Some folks act like gatekeepers of all things nappy. They are not. Alot of assumptions are made that are not true. There are some ignorant nappy headed folks just like there are ignorant relaxed, texturized, white, black, chinese, etc.

To each his own. Do you. Learn. Love. Live.

CORRRUPTION.
You relaxed your hair. Do what you gotta do lady, but I loved your nappy hair... I'm sure your relaxed hair is just as gorgeous though. I haven't looked in your album in two years though. I will stalk your album later.

 

[peacelove]

I come on this board to share tips and suggestions and hear about what works and what doesn't based on my own hair. So if it does not apply to me, I do not participate. I am relaxed, and my hair is fine, so I tend to really look at those who have similar hairtypes and what works for them. That is it. I think that some people make too many general statements based on their own experience. Natural may be hard for some to deal with, but not others. Some may decide that chemicals destroy their hair and want them all gone, and others may love the results of a relaxer. I think it would be helpful if those who are going from natural to relaxed or those going from relaxed to natural just share their experience from an informative standpoint on what is working and not working for THEM, rather than make general statements.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Unfortunately some people internalize certain comments. I learn from everybody, relaxed and natural. I often hear the "so what comments re: 3b hair...so you think you're special!!!!dripping quite heavy." Being 3b is okay too. Relaxed is okay. Natural is okay.

Let's all just grow some hair. bonjour

 

[Peachtree]

I haven't noticed the tension, however, i'm not here as much as I used to be.

This has always been a site where relaxed, naturals & text'd heads could come together in with 1 common goal... grow long, healthy hair.

... I truly hope whateva' beef there is gets squashed!!!