Anyone thinking of throwing in the "NATURAL" towel for 2012?

[southerncitygirl]

carriea

chile i'm co-signing.

DDTexlaxed it takes time to learn various hair styling techniques. learn how to do one thing at a time well, then move on to the next. i don't straighten my own natural hair, but i can do a twistout like nobodies business! i will probably just leave that up to my stylist and play with more natural styles. natural hair gets to be so much fun once its past sl. unlike most folks the longer mine gets the easier it is to handle, i guess because my pre-poo/wash/condish,detangle pt of my reggie is on point. stop flipflopping before i bust ya upside yo head fo real j/k.

 

[Smiley79]

@Smiley79

do you have a shower filter? i don't see that you clarify your hair either based on your reggie. any conditioner that has cones could be leaving deposits on your hair and not allowing moisture to get in. unfiltered water can do the same which is why i suggested a shower filter. you may also have porosity issues. some people love roux porosity control. maybe @darlingdiva can explain more about how she uses it on her hair and how often. you seem frustrated we know relaxing is not official for you but if you don't get the dryness under control things could be much worse for you once you become chemically treated.

No I do not have a shower filter...i rent a room at a family friend household and I dont think they have that here. I need to look into this, hopefully its something I can try. I am more than open to try this tip. I have seen the sample packs of Roux Porosity control at my local BSS. Not sure how to use it, but I know there are tons of threads about it. Thx for this tip.

 

[Smiley79]

Your hair may not be silky but it should be soft it shouldn't feel hard and crunchy, if it does try whole head baggying or a few overnight DC's. There's several recent threads about dry natural hair floating around here. It could be you're not accustomed to the texture of your hair and mistake your hair when it's dry as being dry and thirsty. That happened to me as well early on. IDK I'm just throwing around some ideas.

Yes, it feels hard and crunchy. hate it. the one thing I wish a i could afford is a steamer to do my deep conditioning. Wonder if that would make a difference also.

Also, I see your point about me possibly not being used to the new hair texture, but my issue still is that I cannot handle this hair...I cant style it, I cant do anything to kinky, crunchy dry looking hair. The only way I can is when I plunk my hair under the running shower and have it soaking wet, and freshly coated with products, then I can do whatever I want and it looks so gorgeous like cotton candy!!! But Im not a fish, I cant keep staying under water for the sake of managing my hair. You know what I mean. I sure wish I was out this TWA phase, what a pain in the butt styling it. The more I type, the more I realize, a sew in is really a good option for me right now so I dont have to deal with the styling of my hair.

 

[Anaya-Amani]

I will not make the mistake of perming again- I didn't last a yr b4 I was missing my curls. I had to learn through trial & error, what my curls like/don't like and/or need/don't need. I'm happier w/having the option of wearing curls or straight hair.


"...Forgetting what is behind and looking forward to what is ahead,..."
Philippians 3:13

 

[dicapr]

No but I am considering giving up on being self-styled. I couldn't style my relaxed hair and I can't style my relaxed hair. I have gone been natural 2xs in the last 4 years. I texlaxed after a year of being natural because I just couldn't make my hair look or act the way I wanted to. All my hair had broken off within the year. If you went natural because your hair couldn't handle the chemical you are just trading one headache for another. I am budgeting to have someone put in twists every month. My hair is retaining moisture, it is in a cute style, and I don't have to fuss with it. I have also fallen in love with WEN. Wen and S Curl in the summer and grease in the winter keep my hair moist. I was adding too much product when I first went natural and I think that was adding to my dryness issue.

 

[Rocky91]

Just out of curiosity, those of you who share my natural hair frustrations, are your 4Cs? Coarse, tight, kinky textures? No offense, but I wonder if those who are cruising down natural street, are you dealing with a texture hair that is not quite as challenging to manage, a softer texture perhaps? For sure, not all natural hair is difficult to deal with, just like not all relaxed hair is easy to deal with. But Im just curious amongst you all who replied, how many of you are in my boat, being a very coarse tightly curled girl.

well, i would say I'm a mixture of 4a/b.
I didn't cruise down natural street until I threw out all the "rules" I had learned from Nappturality. I had to start doing what worked for me-blowdrying every once in a while, not washing my hair as often, using lots of cones to help smooth my strands, and ditching protective styling.
Smiley79, how do you wear/style your hair? you listed your products, but what do you do with it after a typical wash day?

 

[Rina88]

Yes, it feels hard and crunchy. hate it. the one thing I wish a i could afford is a steamer to do my deep conditioning. Wonder if that would make a difference also.

Also, I see your point about me possibly not being used to the new hair texture, but my issue still is that I cannot handle this hair...I cant style it, I cant do anything to kinky, crunchy dry looking hair. The only way I can is when I plunk my hair under the running shower and have it soaking wet, and freshly coated with products, then I can do whatever I want and it looks so gorgeous like cotton candy!!! But Im not a fish, I cant keep staying under water for the sake of managing my hair. You know what I mean. I sure wish I was out this TWA phase, what a pain in the butt styling it. The more I type, the more I realize, a sew in is really a good option for me right now so I dont have to deal with the styling of my hair.

As others have stated maybe it is a porosity issue, frequent cowashing tends to add more moisture for a lot of ladies, but there is a theory that it may cause damage to cuticle layers from the frequent lifting, the condition is called hygral fatigue. I believe it may lead to porosity issues here's a quick article about it: http://www.hairliciousinc.com/2011/08/could-hygral-fatigue-be-damaging-your.html. I suggest checking your porosity level, a few overnight DC's (after clarifying if you want), and seeing what using less product can do for you. Someone upthread mentioned that using less product helped them and that has been the same case for me. Continue to peruse the board because you're nuances have definately been experienced and fixed by many others on the board, you're retaining length so that's good right! Good luck OP I feel your pain that's why I can't seem to get away from this thread lol.

 

[darlingdiva]

No I do not have a shower filter...i rent a room at a family friend household and I dont think they have that here. I need to look into this, hopefully its something I can try. I am more than open to try this tip. I have seen the sample packs of Roux Porosity control at my local BSS. Not sure how to use it, but I know there are tons of threads about it. Thx for this tip.

I have highly porous hair & I use Roux Porosity Control at every wash. I dilute it with water and pour it on my hair at the end of each wash. I find that it really helps to close my cuticles. They changed the formula, though, and I still have the old version, so I'm not sure how much of a difference that makes.

 

[Smiley79]

well, i would say I'm a mixture of 4a/b.
I didn't cruise down natural street until I threw out all the "rules" I had learned from Nappturality. I had to start doing what worked for me-blowdrying every once in a while, not washing my hair as often, using lots of cones to help smooth my strands, and ditching protective styling.
Smiley79, how do you wear/style your hair? you listed your products, but what do you do with it after a typical wash day?

I usually do wash & go's. Add a flower or scarf to jazz it up. My shrinkage is serious though because I look like I have an inch of hair but really I have 3 1/2. So I just rock the TWA; other times I rock half wigs.

 

[hair4today]

Smiley79 I sympathize because I was where you are now just a few months ago in terms of frustration with dry hair that was dry and breaking no matter what I did. What made a difference for me was figuring out that I had low porosity hair which meant moisturing products just were not getting through the hair shaft to maintain the proper level of moisure that hair needed. What changed? I read a thread on low porosity hair a few months back and it was like a light bulb went off. I applied some of the techniques mentioned in the thread such as steaming my DCs, apply moisturizing products to damp hair not wet and I also found out my hair loves light protein which I think is important to maintaining the protein/moisture balance in low-po hair. Also, I found that I needed to clarify or detox my hair to allow moisture based products to penetrate. I loved the Terressentials mud shampoo which worked wonders for eliminating product build-up. The mud wash is pricey but you can try a bentonite clay, avj and essential oils mix as an alternative. Honestly I love my natural hair now but it's cause I finally understood what it needed from me. I don't know how to link to that low porosity thread but try to do a search on porosity for more information then test your hair's porosity to see if it's high or low porosity and then take it from there. Whatever your decision, relaxed or natural, I wish you all the best with your HHJ.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Do what works for you OP..I am going to relax next year some time..I have been natural for 4 years and no mind blowing results for me..I do what I am suppose to and nothing so I think its time for a change and I want to be less self-aware of myself with my hair ie not being so dependent on wigs..Natural is pretty for some not so much for others like me.

 

[Smiley79]

@Smiley79 I sympathize because I was where you are now just a few months ago in terms of frustration with dry hair that was dry and breaking no matter what I did. What made a difference for me was figuring out that I had low porosity hair which meant moisturing products just were not getting through the hair shaft to maintain the proper level of moisure that hair needed. What changed? I read a thread on low porosity hair a few months back and it was like a light bulb went off. I applied some of the techniques mentioned in the thread such as steaming my DCs, apply moisturizing products to damp hair not wet and I also found out my hair loves light protein which I think is important to maintaining the protein/moisture balance in low-po hair. Also, I found that I needed to clarify or detox my hair to allow moisture based products to penetrate. I loved the Terressentials mud shampoo which worked wonders for eliminating product build-up. The mud wash is pricey but you can try a bentonite clay, avj and essential oils mix as an alternative. Honestly I love my natural hair now but it's cause I finally understood what it needed from me. I don't know how to link to that low porosity thread but try to do a search on porosity for more information then test your hair's porosity to see if it's high or low porosity and then take it from there. Whatever your decision, relaxed or natural, I wish you all the best with your HHJ.

I really do need to look into this porosity issue for sure. That may be my problem. I dont have a steamer so I cant use that method. But I will see what other tips I find. Thanks girlie.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

@carriea

chile i'm co-signing.

@DDTexlaxed it takes time to learn various hair styling techniques. learn how to do one thing at a time well, then move on to the next. i don't straighten my own natural hair, but i can do a twistout like nobodies business! i will probably just leave that up to my stylist and play with more natural styles. natural hair gets to be so much fun once its past sl. unlike most folks the longer mine gets the easier it is to handle, i guess because my pre-poo/wash/condish,detangle pt of my reggie is on point. stop flipflopping before i bust ya upside yo head fo real j/k.

I can already do twists and twist outs. I hate how they look on my hair. I am no longer flip flopping. I am just trying to figure out if I can wear my hair the way I want without relaxing. If I can't I'm going to relax. Sorry to tell you, but I am seriously not thinking I want long natural hair. I know you mean well, so I am not taking offense to your joke. This is no longer the old me struggling with this decision. It is being based on what goals I have for the future and if I really do want to remain natural. Most of my decision to go natural was because I craved to achieve a goal of going natural. I liked how long natural hair looked on others and the like. The longer my natural hair gets, the more I am convinced that I just don't want to deal with it curly. I will be using heat even more and that is going to lead to loss of curl pattern. I am just wondering if this journey is for me, anymore. I am no longer challenged with my natural hair, but I am no longer in love with it. Sometimes I think I remain natural, just for the sake of this site. I have to figure out what I really want to do with my hair in the future. This thread is for those thinking about relaxing in 2012. I am thinking about it. No apologies.

 

[empressri]

There is nothing nothing nothing in this world that would make me relax again.

It takes time, and it doesn't come overnight. When I first started I didn't know what to do with my hair and I got frustrated a lot. But I stuck in there and it was worth it.

It gets easier believe me.

 

[Kerryann]

just sitting by waiting because its coming

 

[Smiley79]

lol Kerryann

 

[Kerryann]

im just saying

 

[LilMissSunshine5]

I wouldn't go back! I have thick 4a strands...I transitioned for 11.5 months and have been fully natural 5.5 months. Even in my short time as a natural, it hasn't been always easy, but it has definitely been doable. I had a moment a couple months ago when my hair was truly frustrating me and I kept thinking "I know why my momma gave me a relaxer" God bless her heart for hanging in as long as she did My hair just would not act right! But I realized my regi needed to change because my hair was longer and needed different things (partly bc of the weather change). Also, whenever I feel that way, I put in longer lasting styles so I don't have to deal with it for awhile (just came out of mini twists for 5 weeks). I finally figured out I have low porosity hair, which explained a lot of my issues. I can't afford a steamer either, but I do the homemade steam treatments in the meantime until I can afford the real thing.

Bottom line, there are plenty of available solutions on this board and on other forums, but you have to decide if you care enough to utilize them And if you don't, that is fine too...you gotta do what is right for YOU!

 

[jada1111]

Just out of curiosity, those of you who share my natural hair frustrations, are your 4Cs? Coarse, tight, kinky textures? No offense, but I wonder if those who are cruising down natural street, are you dealing with a texture hair that is not quite as challenging to manage, a softer texture perhaps? For sure, not all natural hair is difficult to deal with, just like not all relaxed hair is easy to deal with. But Im just curious amongst you all who replied, how many of you are in my boat, being a very coarse tightly curled girl.

I'm 4a. I'm not mixed and my hair has never been considered "good hair" by anyone.

Nobody ever beat me up cause of my hair.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Just out of curiosity, those of you who share my natural hair frustrations, are your 4Cs? Coarse, tight, kinky textures? No offense, but I wonder if those who are cruising down natural street, are you dealing with a texture hair that is not quite as challenging to manage, a softer texture perhaps? For sure, not all natural hair is difficult to deal with, just like not all relaxed hair is easy to deal with. But Im just curious amongst you all who replied, how many of you are in my boat, being a very coarse tightly curled girl.

Current hair situation in sig. My hair is happy and nappy. Ain't nothing loose and silky going on lol

 

[faithVA]

Just out of curiosity, those of you who share my natural hair frustrations, are your 4Cs? Coarse, tight, kinky textures? No offense, but I wonder if those who are cruising down natural street, are you dealing with a texture hair that is not quite as challenging to manage, a softer texture perhaps? For sure, not all natural hair is difficult to deal with, just like not all relaxed hair is easy to deal with. But Im just curious amongst you all who replied, how many of you are in my boat, being a very coarse tightly curled girl.

I'm a 4B as you can see in my siggy. There's no magic going on with my head or my hair. With the right techniques and products I can do many things with my hair. If I don't care for it, its a different story.

I would say my hair takes more time and preparation especially between the shorter lengths of EL and APL.

And I didn't say this in my original post but I think whichever way you decide to go for you is the right way.

I was any more successful with a relaxer. I got my hair texturized twice and I couldn't tell the difference between my texturized hair and my natural hair so I stopped getting it down. My hair just didn't do well with chemicals.

 

[brittle_hair]

Smiley79 you said the length of your hair is not the issue, but I reckon the problem is two-fold. You've got the 1-inch shrinkage, coupled with the new texture to deal with. If it was longer you would have more styling options and therefore you may be less fed up. Why not braid/weave/wig it till you are full SL and then see how you feel about it when you can get it in a banana clip with a puff hanging at the back and rock some fro-hawk styles with it blown out...?

Can you tell this is my plan? I wore my natural hair out in October and came to the realization that the length accompanied with the shrinkage wasn't cutting it for me, so i'm now braided and plan to rock my fro when it is in between SL and APL (in April hopefully). Weather will be warmer by then too.

In any case, good luck with whatever you decide

 

[Phaer]

nope, not me. Still enjoying my hair. Not in love, I get tired on wash day; but I am still liking it.

 

[gforceroy]

delete....

 

[sky_blu]

Once I get touted of my color o think I may relax again and wray a short hair style. It was so much easier than. I've come to find out I'm not a big fan of long hair. The longer my hair gets the harder it is to manage. I'm almost 2.5 years natural and my hair is past my collarbone. Ive cut it several times through the years so I can't imagine how much harder it would've been with the inches I've cut. Relaxed or natural the longer hair frustrates me.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier

 

[Smiley79]

Brittle Hair, that is definately one of my plans.

I do have some good news though; i went to a professional natual hairdresser in my area, and the short story is she saved me, lol. I'm back on track with hope. I cant tell you all enough how much all your advice has helped me too. The porosity issue, clarifying tips, patience and more patience; i got it all from you. The hairdresser gave me a good clarifying, deep conditioner and she shingled my hair. It looks lovely!!! I'm going to observe my hair over the next few days and see how it goes and really roll up my sleeves to learn how to manage my hair. Trial and error and patience and LHCF ofcourse, lol. Im in a hurry, so will be back to chat more about this!

 

[BostonMaria]

OP, have you considered getting a Brazilian Keratin Treatment? Its temporary and if you truly hate it you can just wait 6 months and never do it again. Just a thought.

As far as my hair... my relaxed hair was thin, fragile, never grew past my shoulders and I looked a HAM. My natural hair is the complete opposite and I love it. I'll never go back to relaxers. Sometimes I think about doing a BKT because my hair shrinks up so bad, but I am too chicken to do it.

 

[Smiley79]

OP, have you considered getting a Brazilian Keratin Treatment? Its temporary and if you truly hate it you can just wait 6 months and never do it again. Just a thought.

As far as my hair... my relaxed hair was thin, fragile, never grew past my shoulders and I looked a HAM. My natural hair is the complete opposite and I love it. I'll never go back to relaxers. Sometimes I think about doing a BKT because my hair shrinks up so bad, but I am too chicken to do it.

I would only consider it if my hair were long. 3 1/2 inches isnt enough for me to to do a BKT. But I will be doing some sew ins to get me over the TWA hump.

 

[hothair]

I relaxed this year after 3+ years natural. It was a good decision for me. I think you should think about your lifestyle and the styles you enjoy wearing your hair in before making the decision, if you're usually bunned up or wearing curly styles you may want to stick it out, for me I was enjoying straighter, wavier styles so it made more sense for me.

 

[ryanshope]

Heck to the no. I am loving the versatility and now that I have my flat iron game on lock..I am winning!!