brucebettye
New Member
Hang in there. I am texlaxed and still have problems with single strand knots. Sometimes hiding your hair for a month or two will help with your hair problems.
Thinking about throwing in the natural towel...
- Thread starter HeavenlySkies
- Start date
AvaSpeaks
New Member
Re: Thinking about throwing in the natural towel...1 year later.
You have a nice texture, whatever it is.
Once it gets some inches on it, then you will begin to really see the true texture of your hair and it will straighten out. That's what happened to my hair. I would try twists until you can get some lenght. That Afro puff, although pretty and traditional is probably one of the worst styles that we could have. Yep I said it
No I don't think you should cut you hair, I like the texture.
lol I know ok so here's my dilemma. It's been 22 months of being natural with my transition time included and I still have no hangtime (hair that hangs down) no matter what it's still an afro unless its wet even then still a semi lopsided afro. Ok so after a few setbacks I'm thinking I would have already been shoulder length but now I'm not. Soooooooooooo I just straightened the front of my hair partially only to find single-strand knots AGAIN. Last time I found them I just cut all my ends off. But the knots, lack of hangtime and styles in this awkward stage has me ready to perm this crap. Like the only thing I can do now is the puff with the elastic goody bands whatever I cant just wear my hair without anything containing it because it has like 4 textures some parts hang and are curly some are just frizz and like I said before it just doesn't hang down and now I'm not sure if it will ever do so. I was going to give this til the end of the year but I'm not sure if I will make it that long. I can add pictures to get an idea of my hair later. Sorry for the jumbled rant any ideas?
Pictures!!!
Can anyone tell me what my TEXTURE(s) is/are?
With KCCC
WET
NAPE
Brushed
Side wet
Side dry
Top
And lastly side part acting weird.
You have a nice texture, whatever it is.
Once it gets some inches on it, then you will begin to really see the true texture of your hair and it will straighten out. That's what happened to my hair. I would try twists until you can get some lenght. That Afro puff, although pretty and traditional is probably one of the worst styles that we could have. Yep I said it
No I don't think you should cut you hair, I like the texture.
AvaSpeaks
New Member
you look like a mix of 3c/4a and your hair is absolutely gorgeous. Give your hair some time
I think you got a mixture of some 3b and 3c and it's just really, really thick. Maybe a small amount of 4a but very little.
DMJ's Mom
Well-Known Member
Hi! Sometimes I feel like giving up too but I'm not going to tell you not to relax your hair but maybe texlaxing might work for you. I've been natural for 3 years but before that I was natural for almost 2 years then texlaxed for a couple of months then I went back natural. It'll give you the best of both worlds and probably loosen your curl pattern enough to get some decent hangtime and for me personally I had less problems with tangling and knots. In the end its really all about what is best for you and what you want.
mscocoface
Well-Known Member
Your mindset is not in tune to your hair structure and make up.
You are in the 4 category but you are wanting your hair to do things that it may or may not do. Instead of going with the flow you have a preconceived notion of what you thought it would do.
You have to change your mindset, in short it is a journey you have never ventured upon as an adult. You have to watch to see what it wants to do. With relaxed hair you knew what your hair could and could not do.
But with natural hair, you have no idea all the things it will be able to do because you have not had natural hair or your natural hair that long. The longer it gets the more time you spend with it, it will show you what it is capable of.
Free your mind, the hair knows that it will do it is trying to show you, the question is will you want to accept and appreciate what it is showing you.
That is not a judgement but however it is growing out of your head you will have to listen and take care of it the way it wants to in order for it to flourish.
The question you ask yourself is do you have the patience and adventerous spirit to take that journey?
I hope that makes sense. Best wishes to you. Your hair is gorgeous by the way.
You are in the 4 category but you are wanting your hair to do things that it may or may not do. Instead of going with the flow you have a preconceived notion of what you thought it would do.
You have to change your mindset, in short it is a journey you have never ventured upon as an adult. You have to watch to see what it wants to do. With relaxed hair you knew what your hair could and could not do.
But with natural hair, you have no idea all the things it will be able to do because you have not had natural hair or your natural hair that long. The longer it gets the more time you spend with it, it will show you what it is capable of.
Free your mind, the hair knows that it will do it is trying to show you, the question is will you want to accept and appreciate what it is showing you.
That is not a judgement but however it is growing out of your head you will have to listen and take care of it the way it wants to in order for it to flourish.
The question you ask yourself is do you have the patience and adventerous spirit to take that journey?
I hope that makes sense. Best wishes to you. Your hair is gorgeous by the way.
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nnmiles
Active Member
I know this doesn't help...but I love your hair!!! I would do braidouts and twistouts maybe to show its length better. And there's nothing wrong with straightening it every now and then to see it's length. I'm natural and once you relax, you may love it for a time but you might regret it too..... I don't know... I say be frustrated for a while and then just accept it...
HeavenlySkies
Active Member
Thanks everybody! Let me say by my saying "hangtime" I didn't mean I was hoping my hair would pull a 360 and look like Mya lol I'm saying I thought on this hair type chart I saw some 4's with hangtime let me make sure. Well damn nevermind all this time I was thinking this chick
Was in the 4's 4a to be exact. Well now that that idea is out the picture I guess I have to make it do what it do lol Like you guys know there is no way I can make the top blend in with the rest of my head. Even with the KCCC it did nothing and will never do anything it's weird though because it starts to curl on the ends when I use the Denman brush on it but whatever.
Anyway like I said I was attempting to straighten it and then style it but once I saw how jacked the knots were making the ends having a straight style was no longer an option so I just put conditioner on it and kept it moving. I have no prob with the 4b hair on the top or whatever it is when it's wet. I actually think it looks fine when its wet because if I do try to style that part it will just straighten out so I don't have to try to blend it to the more defined parts.
It's just hard dealing with all these different areas of my head that behave differently even with the puff u have one part frizz and then lil curlies sticking out all through it. I guess I don't have the patience I thought I had when it comes to wearing my hair like I would like. I had a sew in for like a month and was sick of it but I think I'm going to get another one and say skip it.
My hair is uneven from me cutting the knots off the ends last time so straight isn't going to work for the moment but if I did perm it I guess I would have to deal with another awkward stage too lol But thanks everyone for the ideas...I'll look into more "stretchy" styles and see if it's anything I can do myself.
P.S.
Me and the blow dryer do not get along at all.
Was in the 4's 4a to be exact. Well now that that idea is out the picture I guess I have to make it do what it do lol Like you guys know there is no way I can make the top blend in with the rest of my head. Even with the KCCC it did nothing and will never do anything it's weird though because it starts to curl on the ends when I use the Denman brush on it but whatever.
Anyway like I said I was attempting to straighten it and then style it but once I saw how jacked the knots were making the ends having a straight style was no longer an option so I just put conditioner on it and kept it moving. I have no prob with the 4b hair on the top or whatever it is when it's wet. I actually think it looks fine when its wet because if I do try to style that part it will just straighten out so I don't have to try to blend it to the more defined parts.
It's just hard dealing with all these different areas of my head that behave differently even with the puff u have one part frizz and then lil curlies sticking out all through it. I guess I don't have the patience I thought I had when it comes to wearing my hair like I would like. I had a sew in for like a month and was sick of it but I think I'm going to get another one and say skip it.
My hair is uneven from me cutting the knots off the ends last time so straight isn't going to work for the moment but if I did perm it I guess I would have to deal with another awkward stage too lol But thanks everyone for the ideas...I'll look into more "stretchy" styles and see if it's anything I can do myself.
P.S.
Me and the blow dryer do not get along at all.
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Rei
New Member
Re: Thinking about throwing in the natural towel...1 year later.
girl your hair is gorgeous. I'm not even saying that to make you feel better, it is actually really nice looking. Way better than mine lol, I'm in the awkward stage too but I cant even put it in a nice puff like you have pictured.
Stick with it. Give it a week or so, and think about whether your hair was really easier to manage and better looking when relaxed. if at the end of that week you think so, then go ahead, but remember transitioning is not fun if you change your mind
girl your hair is gorgeous. I'm not even saying that to make you feel better, it is actually really nice looking. Way better than mine lol, I'm in the awkward stage too but I cant even put it in a nice puff like you have pictured.Stick with it. Give it a week or so, and think about whether your hair was really easier to manage and better looking when relaxed. if at the end of that week you think so, then go ahead, but remember transitioning is not fun if you change your mind
Nonie
Well-Known Member
Aww...Mous, I don't have different hair textures, but can sort of see how that can be frustrating/confusing.
The lady you posted, Rachel True has type 3 hair...so there may be parts of your hair that do that, if that is part of the mix. Here's another photo of Rachel's hair that gives a better view of her texture:
The kind of hair that can sort of have some hang in the 4 department as it gets longer and with the right products is 4A and it looks kinda like Nadia Turner's hair but notice that even it tries to stand up and defy gravity:
You can turn this into a great adventure of finding out things you can do with your hair. Maybe wear it up with hanging tendrils on the sides or back because the hair on the sides or the back can do that? Maybe wear a half wig that matches the sides and hide the parts that don't match and look one way one day, and another another day?
The lady you posted, Rachel True has type 3 hair...so there may be parts of your hair that do that, if that is part of the mix. Here's another photo of Rachel's hair that gives a better view of her texture:
The kind of hair that can sort of have some hang in the 4 department as it gets longer and with the right products is 4A and it looks kinda like Nadia Turner's hair but notice that even it tries to stand up and defy gravity:
You can turn this into a great adventure of finding out things you can do with your hair. Maybe wear it up with hanging tendrils on the sides or back because the hair on the sides or the back can do that? Maybe wear a half wig that matches the sides and hide the parts that don't match and look one way one day, and another another day?
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HeavenlySkies
Active Member
Aww...Mous, I don't have different hair textures, but can sort of see how that can be frustrating/confusing.
The lady you posted, Rachel True has type 3 hair...so there may be parts of your hair that do that, if that is part of the mix. Here's another photo of Rachel's hair that gives a better view of her texture:
The kind of hair that can sort of have some hang in the 4 department as it gets longer and with the right products is 4A and it looks kinda like Nadia Turner's hair but notice that even it tries to stand up and defy gravity:
You can turn this into a great adventure of finding out things you can do with your hair. Maybe wear it up with hanging tendrils on the sides or back because the hair on the sides or the back can do that? Maybe wear a half wig that matches the sides and hide the parts that don't match and look one way one day, and another another day?
That all makes sense but what I was saying is my hair textures are strategically placed to find the point where I cant pull things off lol like I would love to wear my hair like the nadia chick but from the wet pictures you can see my hair doesnt do that either. If I could get this stuff in a ponytail I would be happy. When I was relaxed I kept it in a ponytail. I really dont know my ultimate goal was just long hair passed my shoulders but now im thinking im not going to be able to achieve that as a natural.
bravenewgirl87
New Member
Where you went wrong Mouse is stressing. My first year (and even now) I wore extensions, weaves and braids. You might think this sounds backwards but, just because you are natural does not mean you HAVE to wear your hair out. At this point, all you need is a style that you feel pretty in and will keep you from reaching for a box of perm.
tocktick
Well-Known Member
1) It takes a while to get hang-time depending on your texture. Imo, 22 months isn't a whole load of time to be natural. At most, you hair is about 12" so it's not really surprising if you have no hang-time. Based on your tex, it probably will come. eta: I didn't factor your transition time (how long was this for?) but I do know for some people it didn't come for a while anyway.
2) You're not unique in going through the awkward stage. I've been natural for a minute and went through it. Yeah, it is frustrating as hell but I just protective styled. After a year or so, I moved out of it.
3) For a whole lot of naturals, SSK's are part and parcel of being natural. Personally, I found I could minimise them by really babying my hair by oiling ends regularly, keeping my hair stretched and I also found bentonite clay helped too.
Unless you really think relaxing is the solution to all these problem and you ultimately prefer the relaxed look, I suggest you hold on for a little while yet. It's unwise to do something to your hair when in a state of heightened frustration. Consider your options. Many of your problems with your hair are not exclusive to you and that's a good thing because it means people have tired to combat them on this board before. I suggest you do a few searches and take your time reading some old threads to see how people in similar situations coped.
The first two shots and the 1st wet one look like mine when unmanipulated. I'm 4a but some of your curls look bigger than mine. I'd peg you as 4a/3c.
eta: I read through the thread after posting but I'd like to say my own hair hangs down after it's washed and moisturised and I'm in the "type 4" category. The top flops over but doesn't hand as much but it's not surprising. I think my hair being dense contributes to that.
2) You're not unique in going through the awkward stage. I've been natural for a minute and went through it. Yeah, it is frustrating as hell but I just protective styled. After a year or so, I moved out of it.
3) For a whole lot of naturals, SSK's are part and parcel of being natural. Personally, I found I could minimise them by really babying my hair by oiling ends regularly, keeping my hair stretched and I also found bentonite clay helped too.
Unless you really think relaxing is the solution to all these problem and you ultimately prefer the relaxed look, I suggest you hold on for a little while yet. It's unwise to do something to your hair when in a state of heightened frustration. Consider your options. Many of your problems with your hair are not exclusive to you and that's a good thing because it means people have tired to combat them on this board before. I suggest you do a few searches and take your time reading some old threads to see how people in similar situations coped.
The first two shots and the 1st wet one look like mine when unmanipulated. I'm 4a but some of your curls look bigger than mine. I'd peg you as 4a/3c.
eta: I read through the thread after posting but I'd like to say my own hair hangs down after it's washed and moisturised and I'm in the "type 4" category. The top flops over but doesn't hand as much but it's not surprising. I think my hair being dense contributes to that.
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I Am So Blessed
I'm easy going.
OK WOW, YOUR HAIR IS SOOOO PRETTTY!!!
l understand how you feel about not having any "hangtime" thats why i texlaxed and l now have all the hangtime l could ever want and then some. so its up to you, but your hair is just lovely!!
l understand how you feel about not having any "hangtime" thats why i texlaxed and l now have all the hangtime l could ever want and then some. so its up to you, but your hair is just lovely!!
SEMO
Well-Known Member
I just wanted to come in and give you an e-hug. 
I really felt the frustration in your OP. And to be real: I love being natural, but I've had some days recently where I've felt like relaxing again. I won't, but I was surprised I even had the urge to.
So I don't think anyone's natural journey is all roses. Hopefully this is just a bump in the road for you.
I really felt the frustration in your OP. And to be real: I love being natural, but I've had some days recently where I've felt like relaxing again. I won't, but I was surprised I even had the urge to.So I don't think anyone's natural journey is all roses. Hopefully this is just a bump in the road for you.
BrooklynSouth
New Member
Your hair is so naturally beautiful. As suggested, a warm to cool blow out may help you get the desired hang without eliminating your beautiful pattern. Banding may also help get some hang or be patient because as your growth increases it will hang more.
godsflowerrr
New Member
Your hair is really beautiful and I love your curls! I suggest that you just hang in there because natural hair takes a while to get that "hang time" I am just now starting to get some 'hang time' in my bang area. My sides are kinkier and still have very little ht. I suggest that you hang in there because everyone goes through a wired in between stage. Once your hair grows out, it will be so worth it. I can tell that by looking at your hair now..as it grows out, it will be stunning!!!!
Your hair reminds me of one of my fotki faves at her starting point
http://public.fotki.com/serenity326.../winter-20082009-mon/comparisonshotsoney.html
Your hair reminds me of one of my fotki faves at her starting point
http://public.fotki.com/serenity326.../winter-20082009-mon/comparisonshotsoney.html
Laela
Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
wow! wonderful response...
Your mindset is not in tune to your hair structure and make up.
You are in the 4 category but you are wanting your hair to do things that it may or may not do. Instead of going with the flow you have a preconceived notion of what you thought it would do.
You have to change your mindset, in short it is a journey you have never ventured upon as an adult. You have to watch to see what it wants to do. With relaxed hair you knew what your hair could and could not do.
But with natural hair, you have no idea all the things it will be able to do because you have not had natural hair or your natural hair that long. The longer it gets the more time you spend with it, it will show you what it is capable of.
Free your mind, the hair knows that it will do it is trying to show you, the question is will you want to accept and appreciate what it is showing you.
That is not a judgement but however it is growing out of your head you will have to listen and take care of it the way it wants to in order for it to flourish.
The question you ask yourself is do you have the patience and adventerous spirit to take that journey?
I hope that makes sense. Best wishes to you. Your hair is gorgeous by the way.
motherpopcorn562
New Member
maybe try rolling with flexi rod rollers it or bantu knots
IrisDaVirus
New Member
Please don't follow your mind and "perm this crap" like you said. Your natural hair is not crap. It is absolutely beautiful. Keep your hair conditioned and experiment with styles like braid outs and twist outs.
HeavenlySkies
Active Member
I think a few of the responses are based on misconceptions from the way I talk lol I dont hate my natural textures because I call it crap nor do I desire another looser texture...i just want to be able to wake up and wear my hair in a way that doesnt require an elastic band in order to look tamed. I cowash everyday so twists and things of the like most likely wouldnt last long because of that. And to quest no I dont get compliments I get clowned pople calling me macy gray, chaka khan etc. But yeah im more frustrated at having to do this puff style than anything about my texture. Im guessing I want hangtime so bad so I can just wash and go not wash and puff.
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Nonie
Well-Known Member
You say you CW every day. I CW more often when in twists and my hair dries a little stretched if it dries in the twists. If you woke up early enough to wash your hair in tiny twists and let it drip dry so the twists hang down, and then undid the twists--hoping you do them small enough to sort of mimic the average size of your coils, you could probably get some hang and be able to wear your hair how you want.
To get your hair to do things you want it to do--and it's capable of so much--you have to adjust your regimen for the spell in which you want the change. If you want to be able to put in a pony, you may have to skip CW for a day and instead wear it stretched after being in braids or twists so that it can make it to the pony. Even a puff pushed further back can look like a pony.
This is my hair:
But one day, after undoing my twists, I thought wetting them could make them fluff out a bit and look like other twist-outs I see on folks--especially since I see how water makes twists have weight, and so I thought that I'd still get some bounce/weight even with the fluffing out. But instead I started to get shrinkage and lost the waves of the twist-out look. But it was too late to do anything different, so I still went out with what I thought was a flop and a few people actually liked it, although I personally wished I'd left it alone when it looked uniform and like wavy locs (I have a thing for things looking even, you see). Anyway, this was the end result of my meddling with my twist-out--notice how some parts look like fluff with no shape and others still look wavy:
I know braids and twist can create uniform waves of different size from your own hair pattern and allow you to wear your hair stretched and with texture, if you CW'd the braids, let them dry, preferably drip dry (drape towel around shoulders) and then when completely dry, undo the braids and let them be. You could probably get a look like Nadia but only with waves instead of coils. I wear twisted bangs but when I wore braided bangs, and undid them, I got uniform waves that hang down, even though my hair doesn't do "hangtime"
I tell you all this so you can know that just because your texture it isn't all uniform all through doesn't mean you cannot make it look uniform. My twist/twist-out is usually done w/o products. I'm sure there's a product that others use to lock in the style reacted by braids or twists and if you do the braids or twists all the same and not mess too much with your hair when you careful undo, I'm sure you can make it look as if it's all even in design.
Trust me when you discover the versatility of your hair, you'll come to realize just what an awesome mane you have. I am yet to create a real pony puff. Even when my hair is somewhat stretched, I still only do a pulled back puff. The puff in your OP is so darling and I know if your hair was shingled (a tedious and really unnecessary task when you have so many other simpler options) you could get to wear bouncy curls. But experiment and see what your hair can do.
I'm tired so don't feel like looking for better examples so pardon the ones I used below. People pay stylists to create styles that show different "designs" which would be so easy to do for someone with different textures. Like this chick below, looks like someone went to great lengths to make her look like it's made up of many different patterns:
This chick had her wavy hair curled tightly to create a "puff" and then her natural waves were left hanging down, the way I was saying you could leave some coils on the side while everything is brushed up to a puff:
I think you just need to spend quality time with your hair, without any pressure...and you will be surprised what it can do.
One of my all-time favorite hairstyles (no matter what others think, I think it's HAWT) was a style that didn't turn out the way I wanted. I was trying to create a puff like I had here:
And because my cornrows were so fat, the end sections that would have made tails just would not blend with each other as seen above. And no matter how much I tried to comb them into each other, they were not going to cooperate and stayed distinct. In the end, I gave up and
presto!
My
Lisa
Simpson
Hairdo
was
born.
For those getting annoyed by my vertical way of posting, it's supposed to keep you in suspense and heighten the excitement.
Drum
Roll
Please!!!
Voilà!
By the end of the day, my new do had grown on me and my coworker even said she prefers it to my puff as it looks more professional.
*shrug*Still you see, your hair can surprise you and do things you were not even aware it can do and expand your styling options. So listen to it. Let it guide you. And when you have time on your hands, experiment with styles. If twists don't look uniform, do an updo, leaving some down. Add accessories.
Remember when some chick shaved half her head and folks started to do the same? Girl, you might go out one day and find people texlaxing part of their head coz your hairdo looks so hawt, they swear that's what you did.
I'm just saying. You have a goldmine there. 
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Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
Stop the presses!!
Your hair is beautiful. Hang in there. Everyones hair is different. Find what products and techniques work for you.
Your hair is beautiful. Hang in there. Everyones hair is different. Find what products and techniques work for you.
HeavenlySkies
Active Member
Remember when some chick shaved half her head and folks started to do the same? Girl, you might go out one day and find people texlaxing part of their head coz your hairdo looks so hawt, they swear that's what you did.
lol You're funny. And you already know! I had to jack your style.
So I do come here to get inspired and all that but I can't do my own hair like you can that's why I call up moms lol I'm going to try to learn how to do the flat twists and then work from there because yeah I think that would be cool. I'm going to experiment some more and I will keep yall posted. Thanks for all the advice ladies!
lilsparkle825
New Member
I think puffing it is what's making your ends jacked, TBH, especially if that's the only style you have been doing for 22 months. My sister is straight up 4b and went from NL to BSL in 9 or 10 months because we kept her hair braided/twisted the whole time. If she had let her hair shrink to 100%, there is NO WAY that would have happened. Heck, my mom is a 4a/b and it's the same way -- we never allow our hair to shrink to 100% because the resulting effort it takes to detangle from dry is ridiculous. I think it's a matter of realizing your regimen isn't for you, if it's resulting in stagnant growth and frequent cutting, and altering it to fit what your hair is screaming at you for.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
And you already know! I had to jack your style.
So I do come here to get inspired and all that but I can't do my own hair like you can that's why I call up moms lol I'm going to try to learn how to do the flat twists and then work from there because yeah I think that would be cool. I'm going to experiment some more and I will keep yall posted. Thanks for all the advice ladies!
You made it look so good, and look at you making it even cooler with the bow.
Aww...I can see it now: you will really enjoy your hair in due time.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
The bold line made me remember a discussion where 4B-ers shared about that their hair being straight. The consensus was that it happens when you keep hair stretched for a long time. Most people found the hair along the perimeter somehow became straight because of being worn pulled back all the time. I wonder if that may be OP's reason for different textures....
If you want to cowash everyday and wear your hair loose, you can do that. If I'm understanding correctly, you don't do this because you think it doesn't fall right. Is that right? If that's the case, go to a curly hair specialist and get your hair cut for the style you want to wear it in. They will be able to cut your curls so that they hang how you want them to while your hair is loose and shrunken.
Nonie
Well-Known Member
Except Mwedzi, if she has my type of hair, it may hang A BIT with the weight of water and conditioner but when it dries, it shrinks up. No cut will make it hang, if it is not the hanging kind.
I think the only way she can get hanging is by stretching it somehow. Maybe shingling?
When I talk of 4B hair looking straight in my previous post, I mean as discussed in the thread below. And by that token, the halfway point to being so straight is getting wavy, so I am just wondering if OP isn't just seeing her manipulated 4B hair in the area it is most manipulated (when she wears a puff) appearing to look different from the crown coz she wears it in a puff:
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=401344
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