Anyone ever go natural only to discover . . .

[Evolving78]

ITA with Rei...sometimes it's not up to society to determine that I don't like my texture...I'm all about being black and proud!; I personally, am not liking my texture right now for a number of reasons: it is forever dry, it is two or three different textures, and it's actually not easy to deal with. I am pretty lazy and with my type 4A hair, styling is not for the lazy. Does that mean I'm about to slap some relaxer in my hair? Probably not, because that also takes work and like I said, I'm lazy.

Also, I wanted to be able to wear WNG's because it seemed easy: Conwash, leave-in, gel, shake shake shake, go! But I can't and that's annoying for me; all the 4A'a I see with length seem to only do twist-outs or braid-outs or PS's. Throw all the tomatoes at me that you want, but if things don't get better for me at the 18-month mark I am seriously considering texlaxing or something.

Just my humble opinion...

hang in there! i am 4a and all wear is WNG's. i cowash 5 days a week. my hair is SL stretched. just make sure you detangle really good to prevent shed hairs getting tangled(causing knots)

 

[darlingdiva]

I'm transitioning now, not necessarily because I'm dying to have natural hair but because my scalp just couldn't take the relaxers anymore. My main problem is that is feel as though I have no hair type. It's really just a big fluffy bush. I can flat iron on 300 and get my roots straight, so I'm pretty sure I don't have 4b hair texture. However, I don't see a curl or anything. It's really frustrating how easy it is for my hair to pouf up. The moment it gets a little humid or I start sweating and the first 4 inches of my hair goes to crap. I have enough hair to big chop but I'm not mentally ready for that, so I'm currently rollersetting and then bumping my roots in the front or wearing a banana clip or bun. I need to figure out how to do some textures styles but as of now whenever I try to do a braidout or twist out it just doesn't look right. Sometimes I'm kinda like ehhh, but I know it'll get better. It just takes time and I'm sure once I get rid of my relaxed ends it'll look a lot better. ::shrug::

Maybe it will get better when you get relaxed ends. Do you put perm rods on the ends of your hair when you braid or twist it for braidouts and twistouts? That helps to provide extra curl.

I also style with pomade in the summer, and I blow dry on cool with Redken's Smooth Down Detangling Cream. All of these things, plus applying avocado oil on top of my conditioner before DCing, helps combat frizz as well.

 

[Lucie]

My only remorse is not BCing sooner. I am not used to short hair and there are so many basic things I want to do and can't. What's worse is I don't like wigs/weaves so there goes my length option. Some women can do any style with their puff and it looks cute. I have a huge mullet 'fro.

 

[firecracker]

Lucie does mallet style mean most of your growth comes from the crown?

 

[LiftedUp]

I got a relaxer in my mid teens. Though I like my hair type I didn't like the effort and limited styling options I had. Oh and of course I did not like the shrinkage I had to deal with.

I have a friend who had thick cottony hair with about 75% shrinkage back in the day. Her plaits were beautiful!

 

[CrueltyFree]

I love my texture and honestly I wasn't expecting anything different than what I have. I knew I wasn't going to have type 3 ringlets and I was okay with that. I didn't have to prepare myself for that. What I did have to prepare myself for, and maybe I didn't enough, was the reactions I would get from other people, which I eventually concluded that didn't matter much at all. While I was relaxed and heat frying my hair, because I thought I had to, stylists were the one's that made me self conscious about my hair texture.

This one stylist asked me if I was from Zimbabwe while she was giving me a perm and everyone in the salon was laughing at me. I didn't understand why my hair texture needed to be the butt of the joke all the time. I noticed the prejudice of my hair type before I even knew everything I know now about hair types. That's why it bothers me when people treat their hair like it's a problem that needs to be fixed. To me, it's in the same category as treating your skin color, or eye color, or whatever you were born with like it's a problem.

Anyway, no I didn't have a problem with my hair texture or curl pattern. Other people did though. In my transitioning phase I wore kinky twists for over a year so while my hair was growing I did a lot of research on hair, the chemistry of hair, hair care, style tutorials and hair products. When I decided to rock my hair I was pretty prepared to deal with it without wearing kinky twists. I was scared because of the many negative experiences I've had with being teased about my hair texture, but I couldn't keep letting the fear prevent me from embracing what my hair is...so I rocked it.

 

[ebonylocs]

No. I had natural hair until I was 16 and have been natural on and off since then, so I knew what my hair was like. The reason I have gone back to processed hair repeatedly is because of manageability issues. I love how my natural hair looks and feels, I just dislike the shrinkage, tangles, multiple-hour detangling sessions, and single strand knots. I'm going back there though (I always do). This time it's for good.

 

[MaryJane3000]

Maybe it will get better when you get relaxed ends. Do you put perm rods on the ends of your hair when you braid or twist it for braidouts and twistouts? That helps to provide extra curl.

I also style with pomade in the summer, and I blow dry on cool with Redken's Smooth Down Detangling Cream. All of these things, plus applying avocado oil on top of my conditioner before DCing, helps combat frizz as well.

No, I haven't tried that but I'm doing my hair today so I will def. try using perm rods! Thanks!

 

[Nelli04]

I didn't really care about my hair type, I just knew I didn't want to have a perm anymore. Plus I was planning to be a flat iron natural.

I just find it interesting that if everyone transitioned and their hair turned out to be like 3b and silky...no one would even consider getting their hair relaxed again.

 

[Lucie]

@Lucie does mallet style mean most of your growth comes from the crown?

I couldn't even tell you, LOL! I haven't combed my hair in how over a month and change. I just know the front and back hang. I cannot even imagine what it will look like as it gets bigger. erplexed

 

[andromeda]

I went natural thinking I would have undefined "4b" hair with nary a wave, curl or coil in sight. I was looking forward to having this hair - the hair of my childhood. Even though I was natural until the age of 13 (or 14:scratchch) , my hair was always brushed out, twisted or braided. Even though I was natural under weaves for a total of several years during my teens, my hair was always cornrowed and when it was loose, it was a massive bush that I was in awe of (I wish I had taken pictures at the hairdressers during the takedowns).

It turns out that my hair is very tightly coiled. It's also not that thick (on account of manipulation and nature) and I have fine strands. I love my texture (although it would be nice to have coarse strands). While you could pay me $1 mil to relax, you could not pay me to stay relaxed because I would miss my napps too much.

I think when we get to a place where we're truly comfortable with our hair as a people, having an apathy or a mild dislike of one's own specific head of hair will be ok. Some people are already there. Based on the tone and language of your post, I could wager a guess of where you stand but ultimately only you know the sources of your apprehensions; only you can determine the extent of your investments (emotional, psycho-social, monetary, time-wise, etc) in your hair; and only you can determine when going natural will be appropriate, OP.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I love both textures on my head, but I don't like them together.

When I first BC'd I cut the front of my hair several times because I thought it still had relaxer in it. Come to find out that it's not as tightly curled as the side and back of my head. Styling had been a challenge with the two textures, but I've found a way to work with it.

 

[LayneJ]

i made a similar thread not to long ago.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=525517

i enjoy my natural hair but i am not in love with the texture. i dont think you have to be in love with your hair texture to enjoy being natural.

I completely agree with you, and I actually like my texture.

I went natural before LHCF and I didn't think about texture at all. I was so hair-ignorant I just assumed it'd be "fro texture" . Like in my mind's eye, I just pictured myself wearing a fro' everyday.

I just knew that I wanted to be natural, so texture wasn't a factor. Quite frankly, it was more about not relaxing, than it was about embracing my natural hair.

 

[RelaxednNapulous]

My only regret is that I thought going natural meant a TWA. It was before hair boards and the current natural movement, so I didn't know anyone else who had natural hair. I'd cut around the 1" mark because of tangles, knots and SSKs.

Now that I have LHCF, I'm thinking of going natural again, especially since I want to get pregnant in the next few years.

 

[Renewed1]

Well I'm going to be honest. When I went natural. If my hair was beyond 4a, I was going to relax it. I don't like the cottonny...afro...no curl pattern look for MYSELF.

So yeah, I would have relaxed my hair if I didn't like the curl pattern.

 

[itsjusthair88]

hang in there! i am 4a and all wear is WNG's. i cowash 5 days a week. my hair is SL stretched. just make sure you detangle really good to prevent shed hairs getting tangled(causing knots)

Really?!?!? What about the shrinkage, the tangles? When my little WNG's dry they go back to being dry and horrible. How do you deal with it?erplexed

 

[Embyra]

I love both textures on my head, but I don't like them together.

When I first BC'd I cut the front of my hair several times because I thought it still had relaxer in it. Come to find out that it's not as tightly curled as the side and back of my head. Styling had been a challenge with the two textures, but I've found a way to work with it.

~~HoneyComb~~same here i lost so much length at the front part my hair doing that i have bits at the back that are like that as well

 

[lilsparkle825]

I didn't really care about my hair type, I just knew I didn't want to have a perm anymore. Plus I was planning to be a flat iron natural.

I just find it interesting that if everyone transitioned and their hair turned out to be like 3b and silky...no one would even consider getting their hair relaxed again.

You stole the words right out of my brain.

I have never heard of anyone who thought they were a type 4, then BC'd and discovered they were a type 3, having "buyer's remorse."

That in and of itself speaks volumes.

 

[mzteaze]

Really?!?!? What about the shrinkage, the tangles? When my little WNG's dry they go back to being dry and horrible. How do you deal with it?erplexed

My WNG aren't dry looking when they dry. I would advise using a creamy moisturizer and a few drops of JBCO and 100% argan oil. I still get the shrinkage (haven't found a good way to deal with that) but I use my tangle teezer to detangle so that its not a tangled mess.

Just one more thing, if your hair has enough moisture, it doesn't seem to shrink up as much as when it needs to be washed and DC'd again.

 

[Tiye]

I'm transitioning now, not necessarily because I'm dying to have natural hair but because my scalp just couldn't take the relaxers anymore. My main problem is that is feel as though I have no hair type. It's really just a big fluffy bush. I can flat iron on 300 and get my roots straight, so I'm pretty sure I don't have 4b hair texture. However, I don't see a curl or anything. It's really frustrating how easy it is for my hair to pouf up. The moment it gets a little humid or I start sweating and the first 4 inches of my hair goes to crap. I have enough hair to big chop but I'm not mentally ready for that, so I'm currently rollersetting and then bumping my roots in the front or wearing a banana clip or bun. I need to figure out how to do some textures styles but as of now whenever I try to do a braidout or twist out it just doesn't look right. Sometimes I'm kinda like ehhh, but I know it'll get better. It just takes time and I'm sure once I get rid of my relaxed ends it'll look a lot better. ::shrug::

4b is a hair strand pattern it doesn't relate to temp settings on a heat tool. If your hair is type 4b and with fine, soft strands then you don't need anywhere as much heat as someone with type 4b and thick, coarse strands. You may or may not have 4b hair but your flat iron isn't the test. If your hair clumps up into visible curls when wet or when you put conditioner or gel on it then you are not 4b.

 

[sexylonglegs]

I transitioned and then big chopped. Don't worry so much about grade of hair but focus more on health of your hair. No matter what you are at a winning end by going natural.. Stay positive

 

[silenttullip]

Yes, I have dealt and still deal with "buyers remorse". I transitioned for around a year in braids and then was nagged into bcing without being told I could cut little by little or anything about caring for it so after the bc I had this brillo pad glued to my scalp I was MAD! (it really felt like a brillo pad)
I got over it. Now a days I get irritated because I'd like all my hair to be one pattern instead of 3 AND unlike many my hair felt SO MUCH THICKER when I was relaxed and after years of being natural ugh. Anywho.. I'm still natural becuase I've seen too many people close to me try relaxing with horrible results and end up wishing they hadn't. Every few months "lately every few days" I have a I wish I could get a relaxer moment but for the sake of my scalp I just shake it off.

 

[itsjusthair88]

My WNG aren't dry looking when they dry. I would advise using a creamy moisturizer and a few drops of JBCO and 100% argan oil. I still get the shrinkage (haven't found a good way to deal with that) but I use my tangle teezer to detangle so that its not a tangled mess.

Just one more thing, if your hair has enough moisture, it doesn't seem to shrink up as much as when it needs to be washed and DC'd again.

That's my problem, moisture retention; I know if I could get my moisture in check my hair over all would be better, not just my WNG's. When my hair dries, it is hard and tangled, I can't even run my finger through it. I am still trying to get my products down

Can you recommend any good creamy moisturizers that will really penetrate 4A hair? Or is it in the technique that you apply it? TIA

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

same here i lost so much length at the front part my hair doing that i have bits at the back that are like that as well

coconut It can be very frustrating, esp. when you're newly natural and trying to figure out what to do with your hair. It can be frustrating as a newly natural trying to figure out how to style one texture of hair, but having multiple textures can leave you feeling

Give it time, you'll find what works for you

 

[hair4romheaven]

I won't say that I just don't like my texture I don't like the fact that it shrinks so much and has noo hang time. ;-) I am not in love with my texture just yet as I haven't given my hair a chance yet. I'm still hiding in a weave since my BC. I don't enjoy short hair and this shrinkage makes it appear even shorter. So in essence I don't like it right now. LOL

 

[maxineshaw]

Not gonna lie...almost four years since I've been natural and I still don't like my hair texture. I DO NOT have buyers remorse though. Giving up the relaxer was one of the best things I've done for myself. It's just my hair is too stringly. I have straight ends-that tripped me out something crazy when I found that out. There are also straight pieces of hair throughout my head. I have way too many textures in my hair, and it's kind of difficult to style.

It's very annoying because my hair is quite fine. I sort of knew that when I had a relaxer. For some odd reason I thought just because I went natural, I would have this super kinky hair. I was having mad Angela Davis fantasies with luscious twists and thick braids. So not the case.

Instead I got this difficult to style texture on my head. The longer my hair gets, the more it flops over. I try so hard, but I just get really frustrated with my hair. It seems the only style that will hold up is a puff. When I try to twist my hair, the style won't hold. I actually have a fear of putting gel in my hair. I got so frustrated that I wound up attempting a style with gel and it still won't work. My hair is just that uncooporative.


I know some people were making comments about the lack of buyer's remorse with type 3 heads of hair. I'm mad that my hair isn't more of a type 4b. I would get very amused reading about people like mwedzi (I LOVE your hair!) complaining about detangling issues. Can I have that problem, please?



Some people mentioned products so here I go.....I finally have my products and routine down. It took me a really long time, but having your products down SERIOUSLY cuts down on frustration. I know I sound like I hate my hair, but I don't. I have to learn to braid it. When I get that down, I'm sure I will start to love it.

 

[mzteaze]

That's my problem, moisture retention; I know if I could get my moisture in check my hair over all would be better, not just my WNG's. When my hair dries, it is hard and tangled, I can't even run my finger through it. I am still trying to get my products down

Can you recommend any good creamy moisturizers that will really penetrate 4A hair? Or is it in the technique that you apply it? TIA

Well when I started my hair was just DRY like hay. What really helped me was regular use of JBCO, plus finding Porosity Control.

It sounds like you might be where I was about a year or more ago. I would wash my hair and was "proud" that it would dry within MINUTES. I could get in and out of the shower and walk out with dry hair in like 15 minutes. My hair didn't retain moisture and was sickly thin. I started using JBCO on damp hair at night which helped tremendously with my hair no longer looking dry. However, it wasn't until I learned about Roux Porosity Control that I started working on resolving the quick dry/hay issue. I use PC as a second step in my poo and DC routine. What happened almost initially was that my hair retained moisture for longer and longer periods of time after each wash and DC.

I also find that you MUST infuse moisture on each level of your regimen. So right now I use Chicoro's method of pre-poo (I mix aloe vera and JBCO plus Vatika) and leave on my hair for 30-60 minutes. Then moisture poo, PC and DCs (protein and moisture).

Finally I finish up with my current favorite leave-ins (it rotates) and my creamy Aveda Brilliant Universal Creme mixed with a few drops of JBCO and 100% argan oil. After drying, I check my hair and add a few more drops of argan oil if needed.

I think if you can resolve the porosity issue first, you will see changes in how your hair retains moisture.

 

[Prinncipality]

I'm just beginning my transition but I just wanted to pop in and say I appreciate everyone for responding so honestly. It is definitely refreshing.

 

[mischka]

i cant figure out what jbco is

 

[Prelude to a Kiss]

JBCO- Jamaican Black Castor Oil