Anyone ever go natural only to discover . . .

Ive never thought my hair was perfect either way, but I enjoy it natural alot more. I didn't particularly like the 'grade' or feel of it when it was relaxed, tbh.
At the time I had a SL basic relaxed wrap, and I BC'd to a caesar with waves...I loved that haircut, but didn't like it so much when it got to that funky 3-6in "weird" phase.
After I had grown it out a bit more, I was so pleased about having a whole lot of huge hair that 'the grade' didn't matter so much.
I still suffer hair envy over a person like Chime/HairCrush's 'doo, but I'm about an 7.5/8 out of 10 with satisfaction with my own.
 
You never know what your natural hair is though as an adult. When I was a child, my hair was the kind of hair that mothers put the hot comb to EVERY week :lachen:

But as an adult, now my hair is a completely different texture/grade than it was as a child. Now some people say I got "good hair", whatever :perplexed

However, I didn't know of this change until I chopped off all of my hair. I had no idea what my natural hair was, I figured it was still like the type of hair I had when I was a child, but I still just chopped it off because at the time, EVERYBODY was doing it so I wouldn't feel as alone. Even if it was "nappy" or "kinky", I knew I wouldn't be alone on campus doing it so that's the only reason why I did it, real talk.

With the texture I have now, I wouldn't ever dream of going back to a relaxer. However, I can't say for sure that would be the case if I still had the kind of hair that I did when I was a child. Even though I did the big chop, I might have gone a few years and then if I got tired of it, or maybe I wouldn't had gone back to the relaxer and just stayed the same with the natural, I don't know. I can't answer that question.

All I know is that because of what I have now, I would never go back. Now maybe some of this is self-hate but it is what it is :ohwell:
 
Rei said:
Sometimes not liking your natural hair has nothing to do with society. Sometimes you just don't like your hair :lol::drunk:
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EXACTLY i was wondering when someone would say this everything ALWAYS isnt down to society:yawn::rolleyes:
 
I didn't like how natural hair styles looked on me. So I texlaxed since I like to wear my hair straightened (I pressed it while natural - too much heat).

Now I still have thick hair, I can still wear twist outs and braid outs, but it's easier to straighten and I prefer my hair to be straight because it looks great that way.

I could care less what society thinks. I don't know anyone named "Society" (joking). But really it's just about me and my hair. My DH loves it as long as I love it.

By the way a relative is natural and wears her hair natural and I don't think she looks cute that way. But my BFF is natural and wears her hair natural (same texture!!!) and she looks FABULOUS! So I really think it's about hairstyle and face shape for me.

The same waywomen decide on a hair cut depending on your face shape (heart shape, oval, round, etc.).
 
I must say when I first went natural a year ago I was a little afraid of the unknown, but wow each stage brings on it's own rewards and challenges but I love it. Now that it's longer I say "where have you been all my life". I mean I really do! I have been trying to achieve this look for years with weaves, extensions, the cornrows and take out wavy look on permed hair, which was always a fail. I really didn't think to go natural, perming my hair was just a way of life for me, but now being natural just seems so right. Like I've been searching for this all my life! I LOVE IT!!
 
Rei said:
yeah, it happens. When I first went natural I thought I would love my hair because it would either come out 4a and coily and beautiful or 4b with a superthick lovely fro like esperanza spalding

Instead I got this floppy mess that only looks good when its damp. (ie, siggie pic) Sometimes not liking your natural hair has nothing to do with society. Sometimes you just don't like your hair :lol:

I live with it because it was 10x worse relaxed so I might as well not bother. Eventually I'll figure it out :drunk:
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you said your hair is damp in that pic? when dry i would think it would look just like esperanza spaldings hair, which is beautiful:yep:

my hair does not look how i thought it would. actually i dont know what i thought it would look like but i wanted it to be uniform all over and its not. that bugs the mess outta me. the front bang area is very loose and with too much moisture ends up straight. everything else is 3c 4a. my issue is the loose area is big enough to throw the style off if im doing a wash and go. but it grows that way so i deal with it. honestly i wouldnt trade my hair for the world. even with the odd section:lachen:
 
Glib Gurl said:
) But the thing that holds me back is that I don't particularly *like* my grade of hair . . . when that relaxer is getting old and I'm dealing with kinks coming out of my scalp, I just can't do anything with it . . . imagining a head full of that hair makes me :perplexed Then again, you don't really *know* what your natural hair looks like until you give it a chance to grow . . . plus, I'm sure there are tons of products out there that could help a sista out :lol:
.
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I think there are a lot of people on here who didn't like their natural texture at first because they were dealing with scab hair. Then when the hair grew longer, they loved it because their softer texture started growing in well. Maybe you can transition with the relaxed ends on and curl the ends with perm rods to match the new growth texture? That way, you can straighten and have long hair during the process without the shock of the BC.

Sooooo, are you gonna do it?
 
For me, it wasn't an issue of not loving my texture, it was learning to deal with my hair. I was under the misunderstanding that styling natural hair doesn't take much time. Silly me, I assumed a wash n go was simply that...um no.

I was a newbie all over again. I went into it thinking it'd take me at most 2 tries to master a style. How hard could twisting be, right? :look: So, my issues wasn't with the "grade" of my hair, it was with the time commitment it took to maintain that hair.
 
I'm transitioning now, not necessarily because I'm dying to have natural hair but because my scalp just couldn't take the relaxers anymore. My main problem is that is feel as though I have no hair type. It's really just a big fluffy bush. I can flat iron on 300 and get my roots straight, so I'm pretty sure I don't have 4b hair texture. However, I don't see a curl or anything. It's really frustrating how easy it is for my hair to pouf up. The moment it gets a little humid or I start sweating and the first 4 inches of my hair goes to crap. I have enough hair to big chop but I'm not mentally ready for that, so I'm currently rollersetting and then bumping my roots in the front or wearing a banana clip or bun. I need to figure out how to do some textures styles but as of now whenever I try to do a braidout or twist out it just doesn't look right. Sometimes I'm kinda like ehhh, but I know it'll get better. It just takes time and I'm sure once I get rid of my relaxed ends it'll look a lot better. ::shrug::
 
Maybe its because my mother prolonged me getting a relaxer when I was younger, but I have ALWAYS known that my hair was kinky and cottony. There was no epiphany and light that went off going natural. I have seen my natural hair as something that was what it was and it was part of me. I will not lie, coming on this forum, I never knew so many women have never seen their natural hair:look:.
 
nope. i've been natural for 2/3rds of my life, so i knew what my texture was already. what i was most concerned with was learning how to style it and continuing to grow it out long because i didn't really know how to style my hair as an adult without straightening it. but i have always loved my natural hair... it helps that i always had positive reinforcement for its texture/curls when i was a child. i got told a lot that i had pretty hair.

it turns out that my hair is ridiculously manageable. it takes two minutes to detangle in the shower and its density seems to change depending on how i style it. it doesn't take much to lay it down and it doesn't take much to straighten it. in fact, when i get my hair straightened professionally it gets TOO straight to the point of thinness. i think my hair would 'train' easily if i knew what i was doing - whether heat training or just shaping or molding of some sort.

as far as my natural texture i realize i probably have it much easier than other naturals. not as easy as some but easier than others.
 
Glib Gurl said:
. . .that they didn't "like" their grade of hair? :look:

There is a new girl in my office with natural hair - it's BEAUTIFUL. :yep: She wears it in all different styles - sometimes in a plait, other times just in a wild fro . . .
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I've had a bc three times in my life total...
and I must admit, every time i've done it, my hair lacked shape after- and for at least almost a full year (sometimes a bit longer) I was stuck with the WORST shrunken afro thing.... :nono: I mean it wasn't long and separated but rather the hair coiled up very tightly and I looked hideous (in my opinion)... everyday was a literal bad hair day and I regretted it. The 1st time I had a bc (when I was a kid) my hair was a fuzzy frizzy brillo pad, the 2nd time, my hair was definitely softer (the texture quality was completely different) and it grew quick, the 3rd (and most recent time) my hair isn't growing as fast as i'd like, but it is soft and easy to manage...saying that to say this...

I have to be honest, I never bc'd for the instant soft springy lusciousness of natural hair...That did happen to be a perk for me, but I knew it wouldn't immediately be where I wanted it to be everything else-wise..I mean back then I had Kelis, big and fluffy dreams and it just wasn't happening like that for me right off the bat..

I did it more for what I knew my hair would become with time, length and care..If you can make it past the first year and half (to two years), even if it wasn't worth it any of those 365+ more days style/look/confidence-wise, it WILL be worth it once you start reaching lengths you've only dreamed of, when you realize you save time and life not dealing with chemicals, stylists, etc., and just knowing that you control your own hair's destiny kind of makes it worth it...I promise! :grin:
 
Rei said:
Sometimes not liking your natural hair has nothing to do with society. Sometimes you just don't like your hair :lol:
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ITA with Rei...sometimes it's not up to society to determine that I don't like my texture...I'm all about being black and proud!; I personally, am not liking my texture right now for a number of reasons: it is forever dry, it is two or three different textures, and it's actually not easy to deal with. I am pretty lazy and with my type 4A hair, styling is not for the lazy. Does that mean I'm about to slap some relaxer in my hair? Probably not, because that also takes work and like I said, I'm lazy.

Also, I wanted to be able to wear WNG's because it seemed easy: Conwash, leave-in, gel, shake shake shake, go! But I can't and that's annoying for me; all the 4A'a I see with length seem to only do twist-outs or braid-outs or PS's. Throw all the tomatoes at me that you want, but if things don't get better for me at the 18-month mark I am seriously considering texlaxing or something.

Just my humble opinion...
 
I didnt like my texture when I first went natural...I texturized it cause I wanted a looser texture..however I realized that its not my texture that I didnt like...I just dont like short hair..and when I BC'd the last time I wore wigs for 6 months until I felt more comfortable with the length...However, I will be honest..if my hair was a tighter or coarser texture..I would probably text or relax..I enjoy the fact that my hair curls and I can wear a wash and go..
 
I went natural and found my grade of hair to be relatively simple to deal with. It took some time to do certain things but towards the end of my natural journey I was able to get it together. However, I will say.... if you're a 4b natural like I was... please be prepared to spend some cash and use some heat. There are certain styles you just cannot do right without some heat.
 
Glib Gurl said:
LOL - continue researching and keep getting my relaxers. Every summer I try to stretch to get the wash-n-go thing down . . . even thoguh I know I'm doomed to fail, I'm going to try again . . . .
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You don't have to be natural if you don't want. I recently relaxed and love it ( ...for now). If its not for you then its not for you.
 
Meh, I'm not a huge fan of my natural (4B) hair. I find it hard to style it in a flattering way. Like some women look gorgeous in cornrows or a fluffy afro... I don't. :ohwell: I don't like my hair straight either except for special occasions. To find a happy medium, over the course of years I've had my hair either texturized or texlaxed. Most days I wear it with either crunched curls or a braidout so I get that curly look. People almost universally prefer me with the curly look to straight hair. If I had curly hair naturally, I'd go back to being natural in a heartbeat. But I don't, so I fake it :drunk:
 
I'm nine months into my transition, and I'm not quite sure if I'm in love yet. I love seeing a lot of natural looks that I love on others, but I didn't see a lot of looks that I could apply to my life in the Natural Professional thread.

In my dance class last night, I saw a woman with the most beautiful natural hair, thick and full and kinda crazy but with still defined curls. I won't have that hair, I can already tell.

Meh. I doubt I will relax again, but I may become a straightened natural.



Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
I have the problem of not being able to style my hair as easily as my relaxed hair. I have Bcd and relaxed for the last 8 years of my life and I am finally learning how to enjoy my natural hair. Even the jacked up styles are a learning experience. I don't have the gorgeous curl definition I see on others, but I have come to appreciate my own. If I don't learn how to style it, I will just do wash gos until I can do a ponytail. It took 9 years for me to lean and appreciate my own natural texture. Now I just have to learn how to style it and keep it healthy.
 
I'm transitioning; but, I do like the fluffiness. It's just so soft that I wish I started the process sooner. Of course, I expect some days of not liking my hair; but, who doesn't?
 
I was ready to embrace whatever i recieved when i BC'd after 8 months of transitioning....in all honesty i transformed my mind to love the way God made me. But i hate the front of my hair....it still wont curl:mad: lol...but if other ppl dont like it....i tell em...dont question me....question God.
 
Glib, at the end of the day, it's hair. You are the one that has to wear it 24/7, and you should be happy with how it looks and be able to maintain it without taking yourself through undue stress. No one is going to put you on punishment if you don't go natural...it's really NOT for everybody.

ETA: Before I get attacked, all I mean by the "it's really NOT for everybody" statement is that if you are going to be disappointed unless your natural hair looks a certain way or only requires ten seconds of care, then it's NOT for you.

*tex/relaxed since '79, got my moisture/protein/heat balance down, so since it ain't broke I'm not fixing it*
 
I just did not want relaxers anymore, and I knew that I was going to remain natural regardless of texture, but I said to myself if I did not like my natural hair, I would get dreadlocks. My main focus was not getting a relaxer anymore. It was a waste of money.
 
I know a few that feel this way after trying to go natural and they switch back under pressure. LOL I also know women that say I would go natural but my hair won't look or curl up like yours. :o( I tell them it may take alot of trial and error with products to find what works for the look you want. I had to learn to work with my natural hair and I'm still learning.

I'm happy nappy. I tried going back bone straight with a relaxer and hated it! Different strokes for different folks. Don't be scurred. Try it out and see if you like it. It may take a few trial runs to get it right.
 
I'll admit it :) I had buyers remorse the first THREE times I BC'd!!!! That's why I went back to relaxing every single time. This time though, I have been natural for almost 2 years and my hair texture has grown on me. I cut off the rest of my relaxer about 2 months ago and I can't keep my hands out of my hair. It took me awhile to be comfortable with the way it looks and feels,but I fantasize about how it will look once it gets to mid back. Sometimes this is a process that takes some getting used to.
 
Knew from jump my hair was kinky 4b or 4b/a and was pretty sure about what it would and would not do. So no surprises or "expectations". I wasn't delusional thinking I would be doing "wash and go", would end up more like "wash and fro". I just wanted healthy hair and scalp and it wasn't happening for me w/relaxers. It is softer and more manageable than I thought it would be, but I think that really just comes from learning how to take care of it and properly moisturize.

I have heard of other people doing that tho, usually its folks thinking their hair will have a defined curl pattern like someone they saw online or on tv and when their hair didn't curl up, they relaxed again.
 
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I won't throw tomatoes!!! I feel the same way Glibby. I cut that patch of my hair off and I just keep touching it....I don't think I wanna go natural. It kinks up. It gets tangled at the ends and gets knots, it's SUPER curly so I look bald (I kinda like that though...I keep playing with the springs of curls...so cute)

I'ma kinda afraid of it....like I brand new baby....what if drop it :giggle: What if I don't moisturize it enough? What if it hates me :look:

BUUUUTTT I know perceptions are always changing....so I'm just enjoying the ride. I won't make crass decisions just because it's new to me and bush and ish. (My head literally looks like a mushroom when I try to rollerset now) Wherever I end up is cool (relaxed or natural)
 
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