I think we're all getting a different end of the stick. When OP says she fought him for a long period of time, for the others in the room not to notice, could the fighting just have been him persistently asking her to go to second base and her "quietly" resisting? I too thought it was a case of mixed signals. Both were drunk so communication might have been broken. I'm not saying dude was right, but I think OP would be ready to call authorities if she really, truly believed he wanted to rape her. I think she's just in shock at the thought of how bad things could have been had she been alone for example or had he been a violent dude on a mission.
I once had an old man that gave me a ride home wind up in my room in college. I didn't invite him into my room. I lived in a college-owned house with other students and dude asked if he could have some coffee. In my naivety, I didn't think of this as in the "Can I come in for coffee?" come-on that guys who drop you home after a date use, especially when you see who the guy was. I really didn't want to invite him in coz I don't like to entertain (I love my space too much to be so welcoming to folks), but I thought that since I live with 6 other people, he would just sit in the kitchen where we all ate and have coffee and then leave. I assumed my roommates (mixture of guys and chicks) would be around. Only one guy was.
Well, dude didn't respond my ushering him into the kitchen when we got into my apartment but stood in the hallway like a statue after I showed him the way to the kitchen. I went to my room to put away my school bag and when I turned around to head to the kitchen, saw, to my shock, that the dude was sitting on my bed. I left to go make coffee knowing that he'd have to come to the kitchen to drink it. While I was gone, dude unbuttoned his shirt and when I returned to call him, he put on this sexy sick voice and asked me to please bring the coffee to the room so we could have it in private. In horror and utter disgust, I left and went to seek help from a roommate. This couple that lived with us had just come home and I told the girl of my predicament and her dude went to ask him to please come and have coffee in the kitchen. The sicko pretended he'd unbuttoned his shirt coz it's too warm in the apartment.
Now before you all judge me, I had known and spoken to this guy at the gym for months before this incident (he was a former student of the school and therefore a lifetime member); and he'd been a gentleman all along to me and my school mates; we really thought of him as grandpa. I would never have imagined him being a perv. And he was old enough to be a grandfather. He looked like the old guy in The Benny Hill Show and was just as small so I probably could've beaten the crap out of him if he'd dared anything:
.
Anyway, after he left, it hit me how dangerous a situation I'd been in and I broke down and bawled my eyes out. What if no one had been home? What if he'd been strong and armed? What if I'd been raped? It was all speculation but it seemed so real and scary that I totally get OP's thinking and subject line. Gosh, I remember even thinking about what would have happened in court if he'd raped me: I'd have to admit I let him into my home and would be blamed for it.
So OP is probably feeling all the feelings I did--and yes, I've also had to "fight" someone off that was being a real nuisance so I know what that's like too, in case it seems like I'm comparing a mole hill and a mountain. And even then, I didn't talk to anyone or call cops...and I got over it and learned a lesson. I am not a drinker so being drunk and out of it was never my problem; it was more taking chances and going to places that were far from everyone...taking chances. I learned to never put myself in a situation that is not public and in view of all with people that could take advantage of me. It can be tempting to want to be alone with someone you fancy (not saying that was your case OP), but trust me, better safe than sorry: don't do it. Always meet in a public place (and I don't mean a dimly lit club
), at least you know it can't get out of hand with witnesses all around.
