All Sus Wanted Was $20. Was He Wrong?

Crackers Phinn said:
Folks usually buy concert tickets weeks if not months in advance. Seeing somebody at a concert on Saturday don't mean they spent ticket money on Saturday.
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and who said she bought the ticket? It could have been somebody else. If he thinks she is trifling, but she is the primary caregiver, then that speaks volumes about him.. go ahead and give her some diaper money. That’s $20-$30.
 
I didn't finish reading the thread, but this conversation doesn't read like two people in a relationship...The way she asked, and his response read like a casual type situationship. If that's the case, she shouldn't have asked. And if it's not, then her delivery was wack.

I'm cringing at the thought of going to a guy and saying "I need $20". :perplexed:
 
IslandMummy said:
This. I gave a coworker my card to buy lunch the other day because she doesn’t have the only credit card our cafeteria accepts and didn’t have any cash on her. She brought me the cash back the next morning and I’m like girl bye.

I’m not losing sleep over $15, this $240 I had to fork out for my daughters one month worth of meds is money to reel back over. Not a half tank of gas.
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When i was in college ny classmate whose dad is hotshot millionaire lent me 25 cents. I was going to give it back but forgot.. This fool hounded me for days. Finally my bf threw $5 at him and told him it was interest! Lol
 
C@ssandr@ said:
I didn't finish reading the thread, but this conversation doesn't read like two people in a relationship...The way she asked, and his response read like a casual type situationship. If that's the case, she shouldn't have asked. And if it's not, then her delivery was wack.

I'm cringing at the thought of going to a guy and saying "I need $20". :perplexed:
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The minute she had sex with him, the “situation” moved to the next level.
 
Evolving78 said:
The minute she had sex with him, the “situation” moved to the next level.
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Not really. Plenty people are sexing without real attachments or status. Just because she gave him some doesn't obligate him to finance her lifestyle. Yes she should have ascertained their level of commitment prior to asking for cash and perhaps he shouldn't have dealt with her if didn't agree with her life choices. However to think that having sex automatically obligates him to do anything he doesn't want to do is quite odd.
 
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jerseyhaircare said:
Not really. Plenty people are sexing without real attachments or status. Just because she gave him some doesn't obligate him to finance her lifestyle. Yes she should have ascertained their level of commitment prior to asking for cash and perhaps he should have dealt with her if didn't agree with her life choices. However to think that having sex automatically obligates him to do anything he doesn't want to do is quite odd.
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And that’s where women get the game messed up. You can’t have it both ways. Men subscribe to a totally different mindset.
 
And most women require a lot more stimulation for arousal. Every sexual encounter isn’t a guaranteed good time on the woman’s part. A man get to release and be on his way. Women are still stuck on not getting enough foreplay... what is the true benefit of the hookup culture again for women?
 
Evolving78 said:
And that’s where women get the game messed up. You can’t have it both ways. Men subscribe to a totally different mindset.
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No. Women get the game messed up when they approach the situation with emotions and not brains. Prior to getting involved in a sexual relationship, it would behoove you not only to ask what are his expectations but you should also ascertain what you want. That way you are approaching it with a clear and level head and not undermined by lust and emotions. The girl in the OP did it backwards. She should have known what type of guy he was prior to giving him sex. If she thought he was a walking pocket book, she should have tried asking him for money prior to sexing him to see his reaction. That way she could have saved her time and efforts.

Some people view sex as transitional. That's ok. Just be sure to be like any store out there-make sure to receive payment prior to releasing the goods.
 
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Evolving78 said:
And most women require a lot more stimulation for arousal. Every sexual encounter isn’t a guaranteed good time on the woman’s part. A man get to release and be on his way. Women are still stuck on not getting enough foreplay... what is the true benefit of the hookup culture again for women?
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I'm not part of the hook up generation, so that I can't answer. When I grew up, serial monogamy was the norm. I think the benefit from hookup culture for women may be in social acceptance...feeling 'cool' and part of the in crowd. Peer pressure is quite real for those in their teens and 20's. But that's just my guess.
 
jerseyhaircare said:
No. Women get the game messed up when they approach the situation with emotional and not brains. Prior to getting involved in a sexual relationship, it would behoove you not only to ask what are his expectations but you should also ascertain what you want. That way you are approaching it with a clear and level head and not undermined by lust and emotions. The girl in the OP did it backwards. She should have known what type of guy he was prior to giving him sex. If she thought he was a walking pocket book, she should have tried asking him for money prior to sexing him to see his reaction. That way she could have saved her time and efforts.

Some people view sex as transitional. That's ok. Just be sure to be like any store out there-make sure to receive payment prior to releasing the goods.
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I agree that women need to be clear about their expectations. I’m going to leave it at that, since I stand by my statement of not giving it away for free.
 
Southernbella. said:
I wanna hate him and have sympathy for her but she sounds so trifling/dumb that I can't really jump on her side. As others have said, you willingly had sex with three men who won't/can't give you $20? That's the kind of information you suss out before your panties come off.
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Exactly! I’m not mad at dude at all. She’s a hot mess. If I were him I wouldn’t give it to her either. Not his responsibility.
 
jeanghrey said:
I need more background on how far along they are in dating, I guess I'm in the minority but I don't have a problem with him saying no; if you want him to start being Step daddy you need to make it official and put it on paper...otherwise he's just a guy you're dating and the kids have fathers who should be providing....his wanting to give $20 for them is purely at his discretion
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Agreed :yep:
 
On the topic of sex being transactional... if this guy had a few dollars to give to a woman, he'd be more likely to spend it on a new conquest than use it to maintain an old one.
 
jerseyhaircare said:
Not really. Plenty people are sexing without real attachments or status. Just because she gave him some doesn't obligate him to finance her lifestyle. Yes she should have ascertained their level of commitment prior to asking for cash and perhaps he shouldn't have dealt with her if didn't agree with her life choices. However to think that having sex automatically obligates him to do anything he doesn't want to do is quite odd.
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Agreed
 
huxtable said:
It sounds to me like he does not like her, or respect her life choices and is using her for sex. Why would he mention only giving money to a wife? That tells me he sees no future with her AT ALL, else by his standards, would he not want to give money to a potential wife to help her sort out her business and make life easier for her, because well, he loves her and cares for her?
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I got the impression that he enjoyed turning her down and telling her that he wouldn't ever be giving her any money and that she needed to live with the consequences of her poor decision-making. He may or may not actually have the money.
 
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