All Sus Wanted Was $20. Was He Wrong?

[Xavier]

2 men in her life that can't afford to give her $20 and another who is too stingy to give her the money.

 

[IslandMummy]

Its all in the delivery. This isn't the kind of conversation to have over text. A warm smile, sweet voice and rub on the arm and back does wonders. Throw in a look of anguish for good measure. If he can still say no after that, then she doesn't need to date him and she needs to do a better job of managing her finances and picking more suitable partners.

She sounds like a mess. Three kids, two daddies and nobody has $20? Smh.

For $20?? If it was $200 okay, but $20 is two #3s at chic fil a with a medium fry and large drink.

I doubt he’s doing a fraction of that sweet talking to ask for intercourse.

I don’t have kids but is it typical for them to wait until the day of to ask about going on a trip? While I think the guy should give her the $20 telling the kids they can’t go would be a nice learning opportunity to teach them to prioritze and prepare for the things you want in life. Even if I could get the $20 I don’t think I would let my kids go on the trip. If they would have come to her sooner she could have told them to ask their fathers so they could get the money which would have given everyone a chance to get the money up. I would tell the kids they can’t go cause they should have told me about the trip when they found out about it if they really wanted to go. Lesson: don’t wait to the last minute to do things. I would also drop the clown who couldn’t give me the $20 and do better about picking my next man.

Yes, kids are human too and can forget to ask for things, even important ones, until the last minute. If the child is only asking for $20 it’s more than likely a trip that the whole class is going on anyway and he just needs lunch money and a little spending money. So in their mind, not a huge deal like going a field trip that requires planning and an overnight stay.

I’m not letting my kid sit in school all day alone because of $20.

 

[LivingInPeace]

I think she needs to pick better men.
I think he needs to recognize that if you’re dating a woman with children you’re involved with the children too and need to spend money on them.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

A lot of people here already said it but between 4 grown people $20 is an issue??

I feel bad for those kids.

 

[IslandMummy]

A lot of people here already said it but between 4 grown people $20 is an issue??

I feel bad for those kids.

I think those dudes have the twenty, they just don’t want to give it to her. Baby daddy because he’s no longer allowed to have sex with her and ex boyfriend because that’s not his kid.

She already shows a modicum of common sense by dropping old boy’s petty self. Now let us pray she’s found birth control, a tighter grip of her uterus, and the ability to learn and grow.

 

[mrselle]

For $20?? If it was $200 okay, but $20 is two #3s at chic fil a with a medium fry and large drink.

I doubt he’s doing a fraction of that sweet talking to ask for intercourse.

Yep, all of that for $20. She's asked three different men for it and still doesn't have it. Her approach is wrong and she seems to have a few other issues.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think she needs to pick better men.
I think he needs to recognize that if you’re dating a woman with children you’re involved with the children too and need to spend money on them.

Re: him, nothing but facts. I guess be figured he could compartmentalize the relationship and only deal with her. That's not how it works. I have no problem with men who won't date women with kids because at least they understand what that entails. But for a man to get involved with a mother and then act brand new about it being a package deal is ridiculous.

Everyone in this situation lost.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

If neither I nor anyone in my circle of family and friends had $20 to spare - I would definitely need to analyze how I've been living and make serious major changes in my life.

 

[IslandMummy]

Yep, all of that for $20. She's asked three different men for it and still doesn't have it. Her approach is wrong and she seems to have a few other issues.

Dang man. I can’t manage all of that

 

[LiftedUp]

He should've given her $50 and quietly exited himself from the relationship.

Clearly he isn't interested in financially taking care of other men's children and she is looking for a man to take up the slack. They're very incompatible in that department and it'll undoubtedly affect their relationship.

 

[OhTall1]

Meh, sounds like everyone learned valuable lessons in this experience. She learned he won’t lift a finger to help her or her kids and he learned she’s broke and so are her kid’s pops. Now everyone is informed and can make informed decisions.

Agree. Sounds like a "he's just not that into you" scenario. Now she knows.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

If neither I nor anyone in my circle of family and friends had $20 to spare - I would definitely need to analyze how I've been living and make serious major changes in my life.

I'm absolutely gob smacked that $20 has provoked such heated discussion about parental obligation from the peanut gallery (not just here). I will concede the very valid point that old girl should have made her piddly financial expectations known up front so there would be no surprises down the road. But that said, It's TWENNY DOLLAS. We outchea having existential crisis's over a dub.

 

[theAlist]

I would have blocked him and never saw him again after asking me what I need the $20 for.

 

[jeanghrey]

I think she needs to pick better men.
I think he needs to recognize that if you’re dating a woman with children you’re involved with the children too and need to spend money on them.

I need more background on how far along they are in dating, I guess I'm in the minority but I don't have a problem with him saying no; if you want him to start being Step daddy you need to make it official and put it on paper...otherwise he's just a guy you're dating and the kids have fathers who should be providing....his wanting to give $20 for them is purely at his discretion

 

[Browndilocks]

I can't be mad at the dude honestly. If a guy asked me for anything for his kid, I'd direct him to the BM too and wouldn't feel bad about it. Boundaries.

 

[lesedi]

I'm sorry but If I am giving you P, you better stop with the 'at my discretion' stuff. This isn't even about the kids to me. What man won't give his woman TWENTY freaking dollars? It's ridiculous.

 

[Ms. Tarabotti]

I'm sorry but If I am giving you P, you better stop with the 'at my discretion' stuff. This isn't even about the kids to me. What man won't give his woman TWENTY freaking dollars? It's ridiculous.

Well to him, is she his woman or just someone he is sexing?

 

[giigii613]

For $20?? If it was $200 okay, but $20 is two #3s at chic fil a with a medium fry and large drink.

I doubt he’s doing a fraction of that sweet talking to ask for intercourse.



Yes, kids are human too and can forget to ask for things, even important ones, until the last minute. If the child is only asking for $20 it’s more than likely a trip that the whole class is going on anyway and he just needs lunch money and a little spending money. So in their mind, not a huge deal like going a field trip that requires planning and an overnight stay.

I’m not letting my kid sit in school all day alone because of $20.

This makes sense. I just wasn't sure. My mom was a stickler about procrastination. She was very "When you know, I know", "You got a month. Start today." So, I was just looking at the scenario from another angle.

I agree with everyone that dude is trash. There are men out there who live up to the name. My father, who is actually my stepfather, paid for everything up to and including grad school, if that route was chosen, for all of the kids in the house. There was no half nothing uttered in our house. Let him tell it we all belonged to him.

 

[lesedi]

Well to him, is she his woman or just someone he is sexing?

To me it doesn't matter. He can't invest $20 in some arse then? Men spend more than that getting their car washed. If this was a significant amount of money, then maybe I could get this. I mean I expect any ex of mine to help me out with $20, never mind the man I'm sleeping with

 

[Evolving78]

I can't be mad at the dude honestly. If a guy asked me for anything for his kid, I'd direct him to the BM too and wouldn't feel bad about it. Boundaries.

He shouldn’t be asking you for 20 cent...

 

[LivingInPeace]

I need more background on how far along they are in dating, I guess I'm in the minority but I don't have a problem with him saying no; if you want him to start being Step daddy you need to make it official and put it on paper...otherwise he's just a guy you're dating and the kids have fathers who should be providing....he wanting to give $20 for them is purely at his discretion

I feel like if he’s getting some panties then he needs to come out his pockets when she needs him. Pay to play.

 

[Evolving78]

Re: him, nothing but facts. I guess be figured he could compartmentalize the relationship and only deal with her. That's not how it works. I have no problem with men who won't date women with kids because at least they understand what that entails. But for a man to get involved with a mother and then act brand new about it being a package deal is ridiculous.

Everyone in this situation lost.

This all day. But forget the kids. He didn’t give her $20... I can’t get past that.

 

[jeanghrey]

I feel like if he’s getting some panties then he needs to come out his pockets when she needs him. Pay to play.

So she's a prostitute? What if they've only been dating a few weeks? And from the language it was clear she didn't intend to pay it back; Is he being stingy, yes, but I don't think he's obligated to support her kids (at least it doesn't seem like they've been dating long from the text); she also sounds like the type of mother who'll have a string of men coming through her kids lives as long as they give her something.... every adult in this scenario sounds like a loser; I guess being raised by a single mother and seeing men come and go I'm very sensitive to making men Uncle Daddy unless you've been going together a reasonable amount of time, she needs to place higher value on her pocketbook if she doing pay for play and not give it up so easily....

 

[LivingInPeace]

So she's a prostitute? What if they've only been dating a few weeks? And from the language it was clear she didn't intend to pay it back; Is he being stingy, yes, but I don't think he's obligated to support her kids (at least it doesn't seem like they've been dating long from the text); she also sounds like the type of mother who'll have a string of men coming through her kids lives as long as they give her something.... every adult in this scenario sounds like a loser; I guess being raised by a single mother and seeing men come and go I'm very sensitive to making men Uncle Daddy unless you've been going together a reasonable amount of time, she needs to place higher value on her pocketbook if she doing pay for play and not give it up so easily....

As I stated before, she needs to pick better men and he needs to recognize that as a man, he can’t have sex for free. Whether it’s as friends with benefits, dating or marriage, how can you want me to have have sex with you and I can’t even count on you for $20.00 when I need it?

 

[lesedi]

Men should be embarrassed if they expect the woman they are seeing to pay them back $20. I'm not on LHCFs 'don't date me unless you are a billionaire' crew but this is some foolishness. If you are that stingy, you really don't need to be dating anybody. I spend more than that preparing a nice meal for a dude.

I'm out here wearing yoni eggs, kegeling, eating yogurt and pineapple and taking probiotics and you don't want to help me out with $20? Hehehehe

 

[AnjelLuvs]

Sounds like the early stages of relationship... My 2cents:

1. So she don't got an emergency account/Savings nothing!
2. NONE of the kids fathers can give her $20, what she getting in child support though...
3. Does she have any family
4. Definitely a RED FLAG!!! I was first like she shouldnt have mentioned kids, and made it personal cause im not raising your rugrats, but then again WHEN You date someone with kids YOU BECOME PART OF THEIR VILLAGE.

Im still stuck on asking someone for $20 surely this is not real life though....

 

[IslandMummy]

I'm absolutely gob smacked that $20 has provoked such heated discussion about parental obligation from the peanut gallery (not just here). I will concede the very valid point that old girl should have made her piddly financial expectations known up front so there would be no surprises down the road. But that said, It's TWENNY DOLLAS. We outchea having existential crisis's over a dub.

This. I gave a coworker my card to buy lunch the other day because she doesn’t have the only credit card our cafeteria accepts and didn’t have any cash on her. She brought me the cash back the next morning and I’m like girl bye.

I’m not losing sleep over $15, this $240 I had to fork out for my daughters one month worth of meds is money to reel back over. Not a half tank of gas.

 

[jeanghrey]

I don’t think the amount matters so much as the context of how she asked and how long they may know each other...my assumption is they’re still in the early stages and he’s not feeling rushed to play daddy, she seems to have a penchant for picking dead beats anyway so it’s prob for the best they ended it, was a blessing in disguise for both

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I don’t think the amount matters so much as the context of how she asked and how long they may know each other...my assumption is they’re still in the early stages and he’s not feeling rushed to play daddy, she seems to have a penchant for picking dead beats anyway so it’s prob for the best they ended it, was a blessing in disguise for both

The man said " me giving you money will never work unless you're my wife." He was not going to give her $20 on that day for any reason.

 

[BK Bombshell]

It sounds like she didn't bother to see what type of guy he was before becoming intimate with him and, unfortunately for her, he's the type who doesn't like to part with his money. Instead she's trying to negotiate after the fact. Now she's the one sitting there mad that she got played and he's on to the next.

That said, he's not obligated to give money to her or her children; the kids are her and their fathers' responsibility. If I ask anyone for a favor, they have the right to decline and I just have to take the L. When he told her no, she should've ended the conversation there. I think the real reason she's angry is the realization that her company (and sex) isn't even worth $20 to him. At least now she knows.