After All This Time I Can't Get Over His Affair!

[abcd09]

I'm sure she did want to marry. At this moment questioning and pointing out being a girlfriend in shock is not feeding her with positive thoughts for her broken sprirt. Her story is very common and I'm sure we all know as women why she feels the need to stick around, even though many of us can't relate , we know the whys to her situation.

Not trying to be an a## but, your post just jumped out at me. And u do have a right to post any questions u have on this topic! I'm really not a e bully thickhair, lol

I think exclamations can be affirming to people. What thickhair said wasn't judgmental like I've seen some posts. Rather is was a post of surprise, and with some people, saying things like "Wow! That happened?" makes them feel like someone cares and isnt being dismissive, or helps them to see how devastating the situation is.

 

[God_Favor]

I think exclamations can be affirming to people. What thickhair said wasn't judgmental like I've seen some posts. Rather is was a post of surprise, and with some people, saying things like "Wow! That happened?" makes them feel like someone cares and isnt being
dismissive, or helps them to see how devastating the situation is.

Thanks for your thoughts and input



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[God_Favor]

I totally agree, not everyone wants marriage.

Congrats on yours !

op youre in my thoughts , hope you are taking time for you. keep us posted.

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[blackmaven]

I hope you get the strength to leave his arse alone and go to AA. You can do okay by yourself. So, What are you going to do stay or leave? Dude was texting chick he cheated on while in the hospital. He should be the other woman's burden. Knee grow please!!

 

[God_Favor]

I totally agree, not everyone wants marriage.

Congrats on yours !

op youre in my thoughts , hope you are taking time for you. keep us posted.

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sorry this was in reply to thickhair

 

[Mortons]

I'm sure she did want to marry. At this moment questioning and pointing out being a girlfriend in shock is not feeding her with positive thoughts for her broken sprirt. Her story is very common and I'm sure we all know as women why she feels the need to stick around, even though many of us can't relate , we know the whys to her situation.




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Generally, I have found when you ask someone why they have not married a long time SO the answer to the question is very telling. It may help the OP realize why things are the way they are and why she needs to walk sooner rather than later.

 

[Lisa]

So am I the only one going to the left? Are you sure he's stopped? He was in the hospital texting old girl so... what is he doing while the kids are in school and you are at work? Maybe I shouldn't have gone there but you may not be kicking him when he's down. I'm sorry you are going through this! Please take care of yourself!!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Thank you ladies for the responses that you have given... I know I want more and deserve better! I have come to realize that my gambling (thank you Lord for deliverance) was no excuse for his lies and deception. But I am afraid now that if I leave him and something happens to him, my children will blame me for not being there for him... My kids are my world! But I don't think I can keep up this act for them... The pain is too deep... And if after all this time I have yet to get over it.... Well I don't think I ever will!

Don't make excuses for what you really want to do. Even if the kids did resent you for living, time heals all wounds and TRUST ME as they get older and see the world for what it is and not through rose colored glasses because of their inexperience...they will understand you made the best choice for them and for you. Leave. You staying is just a method of screaming to yourself that you have no self love for yourself and you don't deserve better...and you deserve a whole lot better.

 

[chocolatedoll18]

One thing that my parents taught me is to never stay with someone just for the kids especially when u are miserable. They stayed together for us and it was horrible. No matter how much u try to hide it kids know what's going on. Please think of what u are teaching your kids. LEAVE ASAP

 

[Transformer]

He's cheating on the kids ALSO! He's not concerned about how the kids view his cheating so while are you hiding behind the kids? I know....it's convenient way to say "I really don't want to go."

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I can't add anything more than what has already been posted.....except DO YOU HAVE AN INSURANCE POLICY ON HIM for the benefit of you or the kids? It may be too late given his illness but I'd still check into it. If this sorry excuse for a man dies, at least you will be able to provide for the kids in some way.

 

[kamille8]

Maybe she can take care of his ***. They had a three year relationship so let her do it. Listen we as women are wayyyyyy to forgiving you have given 13 years of your life it's time to get your life back. Being cheated on and disrespected is unaccepatable and to add insult to injury he still continued AFTER you find out oh no no.
I know it's hard BELIEVE ME but you have to do this for you and your kids.
Stay strong and I really do wish you the best.....

 

[CarmelCupcake]

Other person, I aould have a very difficult time continuing a relationship with someone who has been cheating for not 3 days, not 3 months, but 3 years. Personally, I would never be able to trust this man again and I would have to kick him to the curb. Thirteen years is a long time, but believe me, if you continue to have a relationship with him, I can promis you that he will hurt you again, and again, and again. We don't need this for you. I want you to be happy and if you stay with this man, you will not be happy. Everyday, or at least each week, you are going to remember him cheating on you. If he has done this to you for three years, he will continue to do it for at least three more years if you continue your relationship with him. I know that you have children with him, but it would not be healthy for the children. Would you want your daughter to grow up thinking its okay for her to be with a man who sleeps with other women? In the end, you're going to have to decide what is best for you, but if you stay with this man, it will be disastorous.