jamiette
Member
4 years ago I discovered my man of 13 yrs was having an affair. He worked late hours as the manager of a club, so for him not to come home at a normal hour was nothing unusual... But then he just stopped coming home at his usual 3am all together. On weekends he wouldn't come home at all. He justified this by telling me it didn't make sense to come home since he had to be at the club early in the morn anyway... I let that go cause I knew that the place opened up the bar portion early on weekends... (I know... Stupid on my part) anywho, as time went on I saw less and less of him.... So I began to "investigate" y'all I was PITIFUL ok! I would check his drawers (scratch and sniff.... Yes I was that girl) then I started checking his "work phone". One day, I opened the phone to find incoming messages talking about "love you baby" and "bring me some coffee when you come over babe". I confronted him and he told me that he let his homie use his phone.... Well I made myself believe that until one day I had to call this number and see once and for all why my spirit would not let this rest! That phone call tore my world apart! The voice on the other end was very pleasant and accommodating.... I explained that I kept finding texts from her on my mans phone and asked how she knew him... She told me that she knows him very well and that they had been together for the last 3 years... I confronted him and he told me he only slept with her one time and the girl is a whore.... But those were more lies from him cause I found cards, letters and photos that she was nice enough to date for me! He was actually living a whole other life! He had keys to her home, spent time with her children... Mind you we have two of our own... He even took her on a vacation to Jamaica while he had me believing that he and his brother were going alone.... Ok now fast forward to today.... I have been trying all this time to repair our relationship because although I have NEVER cheated, I believed that I opened the door to this situation because of my mishandling of money... I used to gamble... And he has since lost his job and had serious health issues.... But the thing is when he had these health problems he was in the hospital for a few weeks, I tried to be a good woman and be there for him left my job for a few weeks so I could be at the hospital with him when he woke up and went to sleep.... Do you know that while I was running myself ragged trying to make sure he had what he needed and help him gain full recovery, he was texting that chic all nite when I would leave? Now I do love him, but there is no trust whatsoever, and still to this day I look at him and think of the lies, how he twisted things making me think I was being paranoid and crazy. I guess I'm really here because of our children. But at the same time I don't like the person I have become... I have to drink just to look at him sometimes. I feel like he gave away the best of him because of his illness he's not able to do things he used to. So she got to go on vacation with him, they spent romantic weekends together.... Now financially and physically he can't be the man I need... If I leave am I kicking him while he's down? He given the I'm sorry's and I love you's.... But I feel like if these unfortunate events didn't happen he'd still be the same person... I know this is long and real talk is there is much more to it cause I know there is still alot that he's done, I just haven't found it all out yet! But if nothing else it really felt good to vent, cause I feel like I'm drowning...,.,.
, as for the words in 
I am so sorry this is happening to you. Focus on getting your $$$ right because he may abandon his kids once you cut him loose.
